Poly+Amor=Us

Mike & Elisa

Mike & Elisa are 30 somethings exploring their polyamorous relationship. They discuss how they decided to open up their relationship, what it is like to be married and poly, their dating experiences, and so much more.

  1. 10/04/2022

    Living That Bonobo Lifestyle

    This is Part 2 of our mini series about the book Sex at Dawn. We have wanted to do an episode about this book for so long and it’s finally here! There’s so much to cover, so we split our conversation into 3 episodes. Specific topics in today’s second episode include: The origins of Swinging! How physical relationships bond together communities. Modern day diseases and stress don’t exist in modern hunter gather societies. Is our “civilized” society really making us happy? Has hoarding resources become the measure of success in our society? Comparing social structures of chimpanzees, gorillas, bonobos and humans. How the standard narrative has become ingrained in our modern society. Are we living in alignment with our true nature? How religion has punished and shamed society for sexual behavior and how that’s been ingrained in modern society. If monogamy is natural why is it still so hard for people all over the world to stay faithful? Looking for Community? Join The PAC! Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me! Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership! Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz! Loving the podcast? Support us! We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    31 min
  2. 09/27/2022

    Darwin’s Best Kept Secret

    This is Part 1 of our mini-series about the book Sex at Dawn. We have wanted to do an episode about this book for so long and it’s finally here! There’s so much to cover, so we split our conversation into 3 episodes. Specific topics in today’s episode include: What is the standard narrative? When did it come about and is it still relevant? Did Hobbs and Darwin know that our ancestors weren’t monogamous? We look at how Flinstonization was used when researching the social structures of our ancestors. Which ape species are we most closely related to, and what does that have to do with our sexuality and social structures? Logistics of hunter gather societies and how hoarding is shameful. Sharing is caring! I tell the story of a modern day hunter-gatherer society and their social structure and how they view sex. Societies that don’t use the nuclear family system have children that never feel isolated, unloved, or traumatized by divorce. What would it look like if we transitioned back to smaller communities within communities, similar to a little compound. Looking for Community? Join The PAC! Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me! Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership! Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz! Loving the podcast? Support us! We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    41 min
  3. 09/06/2022

    Living in the Gray Area

    This week we talk about what it means to live life in the gray areas. Nothing in life is black and white and that includes our relationships! Specific topics include: As we’ve seen, monogamy works for some people but not everyone. Same with polyamory. So, why can’t we live somewhere in the middle? Humans love to put labels on each other so we can easily understand each other. But not everyone fits into the labels and boxes we’ve created. What is monogamish or monogamy + Do monogamous people actually use “hall passes” or allow exceptions? Exceptions should be normalized if they feel beneficial. But the don’t ask don’t tell rule should not apply. It can be harmful. Get it out of your system vs. enjoy a temporary experience Imagine if we talked about having gray area or wiggle room in a relationship UP FRONT instead of waiting for an attraction to start. What would that be like? We don’t always know what we want out of relationships when they first start. So, rules and boundaries outside of monogamy should be discussed up front. Not all rules and boundaries are set in stone. It’s ok to change to fit your needs! Looking for Community? Join The PAC! Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me! Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership! Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz! Loving the podcast? Support us! We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    45 min
  4. 08/30/2022

    Let’s talk about S-E-X

    Recently, a lot of people have been asking if we are worried about getting STD’s because we are polyamorous. So, we wanted to dive into this question further! Specific topics include: Polyamorous people are NOT more likely to get an STD than monogamous people. The risk is the same. Many of us are not actually practicing monogamy while we are dating. We sleep with multiple people at the same time until we decide to commit to one person. The risk of getting an STD is just as high or higher than a polyamorous person. Many of us were not being as intentional about our partners at this time, and we were not having conversations about STD’s and safe sex. Sometimes, our intention was to just go out and find a guy to have sex with. Even though we eventually wanted a monogamous relationship, we were not practicing monogamy while dating and go out and having fun. Most polyamorous people are looking for relationships and deep, intimate, emotional connections. Sex is not the main drive, so they are much more intentional about who they choose to have sex with. Always use protection!! This is extremely important no matter what kind of relationship style you are in. Ask new partners if they have any STD’s BEFORE engaging in sexual activity. Talk about your rules and boundaries with your partners. It’s always good to know when your partner is going to become sexually active when a new partner. Everyone should be getting tested regularly. Looking for Community? Join The PAC! Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me! Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership! Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz! Loving the podcast? Support us! We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    43 min
  5. 08/23/2022

    Part 2: The Parental Unit

    We continue the conversation with my parents! We dive further into the book Sex at Dawn, finish chatting about how my parents felt as they watched Mike and I navigate our new relationship style, and philosophize (my new favorite word) even more! Specific topics include: Are we monogamous by nature? Or have we chosen monogamy because of societal programming? Are we “going against our nature” by being monogamous? My parent’s thoughts and reactions when I first started dating other people. Mike’s dating life, or lack there of, and how we don’t “keep score” when it comes to dating and meeting new partners. Mike is going at his own pace. Could sexual relationships with multiple partners lead to resentment in relationships? Is it hard to meet other people who are polyamorous on dating apps or out in social situations? Our thoughts on polyamory becoming more popular in the future and why. Most people who are dating are practicing non-monogamy. Would my parents consider polyamory if they were 20 again? Now that they know what they know? There aren’t many examples of non-monogamy that are widely seen that are portrayed in a positive light. We need more representation in this area. Will Mike and I always be non-monogamous?  Looking for Community? Join The PAC! Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me! Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership! Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz! Loving the podcast? Support us! We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    52 min
  6. 08/16/2022

    Part 1: The Parental Unit

    This week we have our first guests ever on the podcast, Elisa’s parents, Hartzell and Ramona! We had so much fun chatting with them that we turned it into a two part interview. We talk about what it was like for them as parents to learn that I had cheated on Mike and their thoughts and feelings as they watched us navigate our relationship and decide to be Polyamorous. Specific topics include: How Elisa’s parent’s (The Parental Unit) felt about Mike when they first met him. The Parental Unit’s reaction when they learned Elisa had cheated on Mike. The Parental Unit’s initial thoughts about Elisa and Mike being Polyamorous which was mostly negative. The difficulties of marriage in general and how most end in divorce. Polyamory and Monogamy both have their pitfalls and bright sides. They are two sides of the same coin and there is no right or wrong. The Parental Unit slowly started to change their minds about polyamory as they watched us work on creating rules and boundaries for our relationship. History of marriage, different kinds of marriages and how they each have pitfalls but can also be very successful. They keys to make any kind of relationship successful: communication, honesty, and boundaries. Hartzell compares learning that we are polyamorous to how other parent’s must feel when they learn their child is LGTBQ+ Elisa finally started dating and it all became real. The Parental Unit’s were pleasantly surprised with how it all worked out. Is polyamory a choice? Or is it inherent? Is monogamy inherent? Or is monogamy a choice? Stay tuned as we continue the conversation next week in Part 2! Looking for Community? Join The PAC! Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me! Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership! Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz! Loving the podcast? Support us! We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle Music provided by Scott Holmes Music

    49 min
4.4
out of 5
15 Ratings

About

Mike & Elisa are 30 somethings exploring their polyamorous relationship. They discuss how they decided to open up their relationship, what it is like to be married and poly, their dating experiences, and so much more.