Preparing for the Inevitable

Daniel Whyte III

This podcast will help you get ready to face the inevitable unpleasant things that will happen in your life -- things like trouble, suffering, sickness, and death -- the death of people you love and your own death. Trouble, suffering, and death are common threads that run throughout all of humanity. They are inescapable. You will never meet a person who has not, is not, or will not experience these terrible things in life. Yet, we attempt to hide from these inevitabilities, to pretend they don't exist or that they won't happen to us. Our world is filled with news of people dying, children suffering, entire government systems and organizations enduring trouble and turmoil, but we tend to see these as things that only happen to "other people" and never to us. Trouble, suffering, and death come equally to all people, of all races, from every socio-economic status, of every religion, in every country of the world. It makes us all equal. This podcast will show you how to accept these realities of life, and not just cope, but face trouble, suffering, and death in your own life and in the world with confidence, courage, class, and most of all, with faith, hope, and charity.

  1. 08/07/2016

    The Spirituality of Dying, Part 6

    The Bible says in John 5:24-26: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live. For as the Father hath life in himself; so hath he given to the Son to have life in himself." The featured quote for this episode is from Edgar Allan Poe. He said, "Even in the grave, all is not lost." Our topic for today is titled "The Spirituality of Dying, Part 6" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll. --- A Spiritual Reality Those steps recommended by the Christian art of dying — expressing willingness to die, showing belief in Jesus, offering final thoughts and encouragements to family and friends, giving hope in the life to come — do more than create a peaceful and welcoming environment for the dying person. These actions prepare the spirit. Repeated and intimate experience with the dying, over the course of centuries, taught Christians the necessary path to dying well. While everyone is different and these steps may not look alike from person to person, the general outline is the same. And Christian wisdom teaches that it works to bring a dying person on the right path from mortality to immortality. ...

    15 min

  2. 07/31/2016

    The Spirituality of Dying, Part 5

    The Bible says in 1 Timothy 6:7: "We brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out." The featured quote for this episode is from Mark Twain. He said, "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." Our topic for today is titled "The Spirituality of Dying, Part 5" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll. --- Letting Go Jim's renewed sense of purpose and spiritual vision came about with some difficulty. First, Jim said, he had to learn to trust that God would take care of his family. "I am a control guy," Jim explained. "It was unfathomable for me to figure out how God could take care of my wife and kids without me on the scene." But reading Luke where Jesus talks about leaving family members behind for fidelity to Christ, Jim was struck by Jesus' words. It was exactly what he couldn't do. Jim said he heard God ask, "How much do you love me, Jim? Do you really love me enough to trust me to take care of your wife and your children?" Once Jim had let go of his need to be his family's sole provider, his family had a surprise gift for him. Early on Easter Sunday morning, a friend came to get Jim and took him to church. The pastor met Jim outside, and the three friends walked through the church doors together. Inside, his pastor gave Jim a program for the event that was about to take place. His pastor said, "Jim, you have about a hundred friends in there, friends of yours, friends of your kids. Your wife has put this together. All four of your kids are going to get baptized." That morning, Jim's kids all gave their testimonies and were baptized. "It was just a little service for our family and for our friends," Jim said. His wife also shared with their friends about the difficulties she had dealing with Jim's illness, but also the strength God had given her to handle her husband's death. ...

    19 min

  3. 07/09/2016

    The Spirituality of Dying, Part 2

    The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 9:10: "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest."   The featured quote for this episode is from Steve Jobs. He said, "If you live each day as it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."   Our topic for today is titled "The Spirituality of Dying, Part 2" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll.   --- The Veteran   Paul, a World War II veteran, was dying of complications from diabetes. A father of four girls and one boy, he lived with his family in Wisconsin. After the war, he worked to raise his large Catholic family. However, those memories of the war remained an important part of his life and eventually his death.   Becky, one of Paul's daughters, said that even in his old age he remained close to his army buddies. "He had several guys from his hometown that were all in the service with him. They all made it through, and they remained friends throughout their lives." Dinners together with their families, as the friends aged, turned into breakfasts of donuts and coffee. Growing up, Becky would listen to her father's stories and the faith he had in God, who Paul believed provided very real protection from harm during the war. Though he dodged bullets in Europe, diabetes slowly caught up with him. He entered a local hospice program, but stayed alive much longer than expected. "He just hung on," Becky says.   And just when it seemed that Paul's life would soon end, the family's hospice nurse had to leave. For her own reasons she was taking another job. It devastated Becky and her family. "She worked for a long time with him," Becky said. "Dad was at least a couple months in hospice, and they got to know the nurse. They really grew to love her. She was a source of strength for the family at that time."   The nurse was leaving despite the fact that Paul had only days of life left. Hospice staff told Becky's mother to call her children and let them know their father would soon die. "My mom was really upset about the nurse leaving, and my dad too," Becky says.   ...

    21 min

  4. 06/29/2016

    The Spirituality of Dying, Part 1

    The Bible says in Revelation 14:13: "And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them."   The featured quote for this episode is from H.P. Lovecraft. He said, "That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange eons even death may die."   Our topic for today is titled "The Spirituality of Dying, Part 1" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll.   Because of his Alzheimer's, my hospice patient, Edward, and I were never able to communicate well. I would get off the elevator in the convalescence center, look around the tables where the elderly and ill residents occupied themselves with simple games, slept or watched the activities outside. Each week for a year I scanned the tables and looked for Edward, leaned over in his wheelchair asleep.   I usually woke him up, knowing I was one of his only visitors and that he'd be glad to have someone to talk to. I'd ask Edward questions, and he would mumble answers. Sometimes he would talk very intelligibly, and I understood every word. But even then his mind was confused. I understood his words, but they made no sense. Even on good days I could never play much of a role in the conversation. I often simply nodded agreement with him and asked Edward to tell me more.   Though we could never carry on a meaningful conversation, I continued to visit, and over the course of a few months I thought Edward began to appreciate my presence. There was never anything particularly special about our relationship, but he would smile as I arrived and tell me it was good to see me and to have a good day when I left. I discovered that Edward enjoyed it when I simply blathered on about anything and everything that came to mind. Doing this is no skill of mine, but it didn't seem to matter to Edward. I would talk about my kids or upcoming travel plans. I'd talk about work, about the weather, about Chicago's sports teams.   ...

    19 min

  5. 04/22/2016

    The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 7

    This podcast will help you get ready to face the inevitable unpleasant things that will happen in your life — things like trouble, suffering, sickness, and death — the death of people you love and your own death.   The topic that we discuss in this podcast is very appropriate in light of the sudden and unexpected death of the legendary singer and songwriter known as Prince. He was found dead in an elevator on his property this morning. Just seven days ago, he was performing in Atlanta. His passing reminds us that death often comes suddenly, and comes for us all.   The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:2: “A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.”   The featured quote for this episode is from John Donne. He said, "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, the continent is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee."   Our topic for today is titled "The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 7" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll.   --- The Christian Art of Dying   Christians throughout history have attempted to practice their deaths in a way that reflects their faith. "The dying person in the Christian tradition is invited to immerse—as she or he did in baptism—a human story in a divine story, the Christian's dying in the paschal mystery of Christ's death and resurrection," says Donald Heinz. The practice began with Christ's first followers, was emphasized by the martyrs, ritualized by the monastics and popularized by the ars moriendi. The tradition of the art of dying continued in various forms until the end of the nineteenth century. By that time a set of beliefs about the art of dying held true throughout Christianity.   The Christian art of dying is not a denial of the awfulness of death. In fact, Christians recognize, as Paul did, that death is the last enemy. The Christian tradition of ars moriendi recognized that horror and provided the tools that can help to guide believers through their last hours. The Christian death is an embodiment of a belief in a God who has defeated death and will give life to our own mortal bodies. As we care for the dying and make choices about our own last days, we stand positioned to regain a deeper understanding of this eternal triumph and the hope of Christ's resurrection.   ...

    16 min

  6. 12/22/2015

    The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 6

    This podcast will help you get ready to face the inevitable unpleasant things that will happen in your life — things like trouble, suffering, sickness, and death — the death of people you love and your own death. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 7:1: “A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one’s birth.” The featured quote for this episode is from Natalie Babbitt. She said, “Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live.” Our topic for today is titled “The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 6” from the book, “The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come” by Rob Moll. — A Beautiful Injury As Donne’s final weeks attest, he remained spiritually alive even as his body neared death. He eagerly awaited and looked for his entrance to life with God. He prayed, and having let go of things on earth, began to clutch those of heaven. Yet, while Donne died well, those who loved him still mourned. Good deaths, even the best of them, are terrible because they separate — if only temporarily — people who have intertwined their lives. So, Christian history teaches us, the good death still injures the community. Death, even the good or happy death, is a painful event. It is evil and not a part of God’s creation, though God can bring good from it. And those closest to the deceased, in particular, need their wounds healed. Funerals and other Christian rituals following death are meant, in large part, to nurse those wounds and reunite a community that has fractured. Phillipe Aries describes the classic Western Christian behaviors when the member of a community died. It “solemnly altered space and time,” he says. Shutters were closed and other visible signals outside the house alerted neighbors to what was happening inside. Candles were lit, prayers said, and clergy visited and performed their rites to bind the wounds of the mourning. Neighbors and relatives visited, and when death occurred tolling bells marked the significant loss of a member of the community. …

    19 min

  7. 12/06/2015

    The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 5

    The Bible says in Psalm 39:4: “Lord, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am.” The featured quote for this episode is from John Donne. He said, "Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee." Our topic for today is titled "The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 5" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll. --- A Public Event As bells tolled across England and Europe announcing another death from the plague, Christians were reminded at every moment that death was a public event and instructive to the church. While death was a spiritual event, according to Christian tradition, it was and is not a private affair simply between a Christian and God. Indeed, the loss of a single brother or sister in Christ wounded deeply the community of faith. "No man is an island," wrote Donne in his Devotions, "every man is a piece of the continent." Two characteristics of death in the Middle Ages, says historian Phillipe Aries in his one-thousand-year history of Western attitudes of dying, lasted until the end of the nineteenth century: its familiar simplicity and public nature. "The dying person must be the center of a group of people," says Aries. As late as "the early nineteenth century, when the last sacrament was being taken to a sick man, anyone could come into the house and into the bedroom, even if he was a stranger to the family." ...

    18 min

  8. 11/29/2015

    The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 4

    The Bible says in Psalm 23:4: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” The featured quote for this episode is from humorist Charles Bukowski. He said, "I carry death in my left pocket. Sometimes I take it out and talk to it: I say, ‘Hello, how you doing? When are you coming for me? I'll be ready.’" Our topic for today is titled "The Individual, the Church, and the Ars Moriendi (the Art of Dying), Part 4" from the book, "The Art of Dying: Living Fully into the Life to Come" by Rob Moll. --- A Dying Face The early ars moriendi taught that the spirit of the Christian was quite alive, wrestling with angels and demons, even as the body died. Therefore, death was to be actively undertaken. Though Christians changed in their beliefs about what happens at the moment of death, they never dismissed the idea that the spirit was still active. Modern science teaches that in the process of dying, when death is not caused by trauma, a body actually shuts itself down. It does not simply stop working. Rather, organs prepare themselves to cease their function, like a factory closing shop by turning off the machines and sweeping before cutting the power. So our body, even while dying, is still working. In the same way, the spirit of the Christian is too. For example, hospice workers often report seemingly strange events which, for them, are proof of purposeful living even in a dying person. Some wait hours or even days until they are alone before dying. Other times, those who are extremely ill may appear to doctors to be physically unable to live, without blood pressure or signs of breathing, yet they stay alive until certain words are spoken or certain visitors arrive who perhaps offer reconciliation or permission to die. What nurses and doctors recognize today, Christians understood centuries ago. When medical techniques to prolong life were not available, says pastor John Fanestil, people were not so passive about their dying. "Those who practiced the ritual of happy dying near the turn of the nineteenth century... did not approach it in a spirit of resignation or despair. To the contrary, because they believed God's hands were strong and trustworthy, [they] embraced death, or, better yet, they rose to greet it as if rushing into a loving embrace." ...

    16 min
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About

This podcast will help you get ready to face the inevitable unpleasant things that will happen in your life -- things like trouble, suffering, sickness, and death -- the death of people you love and your own death. Trouble, suffering, and death are common threads that run throughout all of humanity. They are inescapable. You will never meet a person who has not, is not, or will not experience these terrible things in life. Yet, we attempt to hide from these inevitabilities, to pretend they don't exist or that they won't happen to us. Our world is filled with news of people dying, children suffering, entire government systems and organizations enduring trouble and turmoil, but we tend to see these as things that only happen to "other people" and never to us. Trouble, suffering, and death come equally to all people, of all races, from every socio-economic status, of every religion, in every country of the world. It makes us all equal. This podcast will show you how to accept these realities of life, and not just cope, but face trouble, suffering, and death in your own life and in the world with confidence, courage, class, and most of all, with faith, hope, and charity.

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