Process Field Notes

14 de abr.

What the Dogs Know

Razzy is in the sun by the back door. Full stretch. Eyes half-closed. Bucky is on the couch. He’s been there an hour. He has no plans. He has no anxiety about not having plans. The lighter one. The breather. Two dogs who are better at the thing I keep writing about than I am. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

4 min

6 de abr.

The Builder's Table

There’s a table in my office that’s never clean. Notes, drafts, sketches, half-finished things. All of it happening at once. My twelve-year-old walked by and said, “What are you even making?” I didn’t have a good answer. But this episode is what I came up with. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

4 min

30 de mar.

What Closeness Becomes

She was folding laundry. I was standing in the doorway with nothing particular to say. That’s it. That’s the whole scene.And somehow it’s enough for an entire essay about what intimacy actually looks like after you’ve been with someone through decades of change. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

5 min

23 de mar.

Before the Window Closes

I was at a conference last fall. Good city. Good food. Interesting people. And the whole time, something was off. Not wrong. Just dimmer. It took me two days to name it. This one’s about what happens when you realize the best version of any experience includes the people you left at home. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

4 min

22 de mar.

March Again

March comes around again. Another year. The light shifts before anything else does. Birthdays used to feel like milestones. Now they feel like weather. This one’s about what you notice when you stop counting and start looking around. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

5 min

16 de mar.

The Weight Lifts

He’s almost eye level now. Twelve years old. When I hug him, I’m not bending down anymore. I remember when every decision felt like it would break something. The school. The food. The screen time. All of it, life or death. Twelve years in, the weight is different. This one’s about where it goes. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

5 min

2 de mar.

It Doesn't Matter

We were talking about AI. Careers. Whether any of it would still matter in five years. The usual loop. Then he told me about his family. And everything we’d been talking about just disappeared. Mary Oliver asked: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Most of us never stop long enough to answer. This one’s about why you probably should. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

7 min

25 de fev.

The Fox and The Hedgehog

My son is twelve, and he only wants to talk about Star Wars. I don’t mean he likes it. I mean it’s the only thing. Every car ride. Every dinner. I asked “Hey, tacos tonight? What do you think? He said, “Did you know Ahsoka Tano was originally supposed to die in Season 5?” That’s what we’re working with. For a long time I thought he was stuck. That he needed to broaden out, diversify, become more well-rounded. That’s the phrase I use, isn’t it? Well-rounded‽‽ There’s an old Greek fragment of a sentance that survived two and a half thousand year… “The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.” I’m a fox. My son is a hedgehog. And this episode is about discovering that the hedgehog might be the wiser animal. Because Star Wars isn’t just Star Wars. And going all the way into one thing doesn’t mean you’re missing everything else. It means you’re finding everything else inside it. He’s not stuck. He’s free. I’m the one who forgot what that looks like. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

6 min

18 de fev.

The Mirror of Failure

Last night I watched ten boys realize it was over. Final whistle. End of the season, end of the road. Some of them stood on the field for a while after. Not talking. Just standing in it. Then the parents arrived. And the finger pointing continued, everywhere except inward. Roosevelt said the credit belongs to the person actually in the arena. Not the critic in the stands. Not the spectator who points out how the strong man stumbles. The one whose face is covered in dust and sweat. Who comes up short again and again. There are two kinds of criticism. One says: this didn’t work, and here’s what we build from the wreckage. The other says: this didn’t work, and here’s who to blame. The first one requires ownership. The second lets you stay exactly where you are. There’s a mirror inside every failure. Most people walk past it. They look out the window instead. The coach, the ref, the lineup, the circumstances. My mirror asked… "What could I have done?” Motivate earlier, connect better, set expectations earlier. Start all of this, from the beginning, but that’s my mirror. What is yours? This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

9 min

13 de fev.

Episode 001 Waiting for Something That Never Comes.

I’ve been reading this play. It’s about two guys standing by a road, waiting for someone named Godot. They don’t know when he’s coming. They don’t know what he looks like. They wait the entire play. He never shows up. For reasons I couldn’t explain at the time, it made more sense than anything I’d read in months. This episode is about waiting. The deeper kind of waiting. The kind where you’re waiting for your life to start making sense. Where you’re waiting for the version of yourself who has it figured out to finally arrive and take over. We do this constantly, especially as fathers. Especially as men who were told there’s a moment where it all clicks. The answer isn’t despair. It’s revolt. A quiet refusal to let the absence of guaranteed meaning become an excuse to stop building it yourself. That idea changed how I think about the daily loop. The repetition. The showing up without certainty. The pushing of boulders that roll back down. This is the first episode of The Process: Field Notes. It’s an audio essay, less than 10 minutes, meant to be listened to on a drive or a walk. One idea, followed somewhere honest. No interviews, no guests. Just thinking out loud. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisisprocess.substack.com

6 min

Process Field Notes

Episódios

What the Dogs Know

The Builder's Table

What Closeness Becomes

Before the Window Closes

March Again

The Weight Lifts

It Doesn't Matter

The Fox and The Hedgehog

The Mirror of Failure

Episode 001 Waiting for Something That Never Comes.

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