Pulling Myself Up By My Bootstraps After Getting The Boot: Chapter 5

When Oscar-winner Chris Cooper and his wife Marianne Leone called asking me to photograph him for Cowboys and Indians Magazine, I never imagined this assignment would become my emotional salvation. With a broken foot and an even more broken heart, I dragged myself to Plymouth Plantation, determined to deliver exceptional work despite my personal life crumbling around me.

The contrast couldn't have been starker – professionally capturing one of Hollywood's most respected actors while privately enduring the discovery of my boyfriend's infidelity. As I lay on the ground, boot-clad broken foot raised awkwardly in the air, shooting Chris in various Western-inspired poses, I was simultaneously living two realities. One where I was a sought-after photographer whose work would grace newsstands nationwide, and another where I questioned my fundamental worth after betrayal.

It was Chris himself who offered unexpected wisdom that day. When I confessed my relationship troubles, lamenting that perhaps I was "too much" – too creative, too successful – for my boyfriend, Chris responded with words that would become my mantra: "Did you ever think the things that make you too much are the things that make you great? Smart men like smart women." This simple truth from a man whose 40-year marriage to brilliant writer Marianne Leone Cooper showed he practiced what he preached became my north star during the darkest period of my life.

The universe has a poetic way of delivering messages when we need them most. Standing in an Arizona airport, sobbing after learning my boyfriend at the time had emptied our home while I was away, I looked up to see my Cowboys and Indians cover prominently displayed. It was as if the universe whispered: your work matters, you matter, regardless of who fails to see it. A decade later, Chris, Marianne, and I would collaborate again, winning a 2023 Communicator Award for a podcast episode aptly titled "Staying Together" – proof that sometimes we must endure disappointments to find our way to the collaborations and connections that truly honor our worth.

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