Quaid In Full

Sarah D Bunting
Quaid In Full

The Quaid In Full podcast rates, reviews, and ranks every single televisual work in which Dennis Quaid appears. This highly unscientific endeavor is hosted by Sarah D. Bunting and Jeb Lund, because they give a fox.

  1. 06/01/2023

    S07E10: Pandorum

    Author and critic Zack Handlen made the mistake of offering to return for Pandorum, 2009's "what if we stuck a bunch of grimy Jell-O to some warehouse walls and filmed a live-action 'Space Madness' meets Event Horizon" sci-fi. The movie starts out well -- good atmospherics; good partner chemistry between Quaid and Ben Foster -- but as Zack notes, most of the interesting stuff happened before the movie started. And after we find out the enemy isn't a giant snacky space arachnid, well, it's a tough sit. (How tough? We measured its length in, variously, feet of blanket knitted, Lego kits assembled, and online games of Risk played.) Surrounded by the detritus of the other, better properties Pandorum tried to rip off, we talked about confusing ship layouts, Virtuosity, which member of Roxette wrote Nadia's dialogue, Quaid's search for emotional truth, and why hypersleep pods in the future come with tooth-whitening strips. Oh, also what the hell "pandorum" actually is. It's the QIF season finale, so tell Scotty the PA to douse your cleavage in melted licorice and join us! Overall score: 2.83 QQQ score: 6.17 Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 454 Don't Say A Word counter: 2 SHOW NOTES Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod) Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) Follow Zack Handlen on Twitter (https://twitter.com/zhandlen) Read more from Zack at Episodic Medium (https://episodicmedium.substack.com/s/star-trek-strange-new-worlds) Xan Brooks's Pandorum review at The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2009/oct/01/pandorum-review) Annalee Newitz's at io9 (https://gizmodo.com/pandorum-delivers-zombie-mutant-banality-in-space-5368633) Nathan Rabin's at AV Club (https://www.avclub.com/pandorum-1798207023) Special Guest: Zack Handlen.

    39 min
  2. 05/25/2023

    S07E09: G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra

    Extra Hot Great's Dave Cole is back to help us list the many complaints prompted by 2009's dreadful and boring live-action take on G.I. Joe, including attempts to elevate an already-fine cartoon, suboptimal explosions and fight scenes, pointless origin stories, creepy side views of Quaid holograms, and the movie putting SDB in the position of defending Transformers 2. G.I. Joe lifts scenes almost wholesale from Star Wars, Apollo 13, and others, and it still sucks -- but is DQ perfectly cast, and not the third or fourth choice for once? Did Channing Tatum's character learn about marriage proposals from Galaxy Quest's historical documents? And could we identify the exact moment, in the middle of a line of dialogue, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt gave up and went full Vincent Price on The Brady Bunch? So many questions (and Winston Lights-infused line deliveries)...but knowing is half the battle in the latest Quaid In Full. Overall score: 2 QQQ score: 6.5 Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 447 Don't Say A Word counter: 2 SHOW NOTES Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod) Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) The Extra Hot Great podcast (https://extrahotgreat.com) Dave's previous QIF guest shot, S05E01: DragonHeart (https://quaidinfull.fireside.fm/37) Ebert's review of GIJ:TROC (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-2009) Rolling Stone's (https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-reviews/g-i-joe-255858/) Zack Handlen's at AV Club (https://www.avclub.com/g-i-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-1798218734) Cobra Commander video at Something Awful (https://archive.org/details/SomethingAwfulTV_Archive/CobraCommander04-0r_pvfyyyiu.mp4) Special Guest: David T. Cole.

    33 min
  3. 05/11/2023

    S07E07: Horsemen

    Horsemen seems to have gotten memory-holed immediately after the fest circuit (or...during production by much of the below-the-line talent?), and with good reason -- it's bafflingly poor, studded with visual clichés, its actors apparently undirected, its script evidently without access to a Bible despite basing its tortuously contrived serial-killer procedural plot on more than one book therein. It's got a grieving-family subplot that should have come to the foreground, and a couple of actors -- including Quaid! -- who could have carried that version of the movie, but the version we got is a disorganized Seven For Teens with a crumbly topping of dated kink-shaming. A lot of the cast is either straight-up wasted in this mess or doing more than they need to, but Quaid is actually not bad. "Come and see" (...sigh) what we mean in the latest episode of Quaid In Full. Overall score: 1.5 QQQ score: 6.25 Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 433 Don't Say A Word counter: 2 SHOW NOTES Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod) Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) Literally the only contemporary review we could find (https://variety.com/2009/film/markets-festivals/horsemen-1200474544/) Project Greenlight S02 (https://www.justwatch.com/us/tv-show/project-greenlight/season-2) S02E01: The Long Riders (https://quaidinfull.fireside.fm/10) The mystery Bible verse is Exodus 9:15, if anyone cares (https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Exodus-9-15/)

    36 min
  4. 05/04/2023

    S07E06: The Express

    [NB: Due to file-corruption issues, this episode's sound isn't stellar; apologies for any inconvenience!] Critics were kindly disposed towards The Express, a well-meaning Ernie Davis bio-pic that seems to count on knee-jerk positive responses to 1) sports movies that 2) defy bigotry. It's done well, mostly, even though the dialogue really isn't how people speak to each other, mostly, and the traditional football-feelm structure wastes certain excellent actors while giving others more than they can handle -- so we're landing on "creditable, but not crucial." The Quaidosity is a more ambiguous prospect; after SDB regrettably uses the phrase "liminal space," we ponder the changing nature of the "qua" in "Quaid Qua Quaid," and DQ's transition from rakish pilot to avuncular coach/cop. Will Roy Williams-branded cliché containers, teratomae of movie rage, and the birth of a weird Brittany Murphy runner add up to a victory for our side? Overall score: 5 QQQ score: 7.25 Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 426 Don't Say A Word counter: 1 SHOW NOTES Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod) Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull) Peter Hartlaub's at the Chron (https://www.sfgate.com/movies/article/Movie-review-The-Express-3265995.php) SDB Blind Side rage (https://tomatonation.com/culture-and-criticism/the-blind-side-and-avatar-lets-congratulate-ourselves-on-re-colonizing-the-other-with-weaponized-syrup/) "I'll never teh-elll" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFk2_5RkwlA)

    27 min
4.9
out of 5
43 Ratings

About

The Quaid In Full podcast rates, reviews, and ranks every single televisual work in which Dennis Quaid appears. This highly unscientific endeavor is hosted by Sarah D. Bunting and Jeb Lund, because they give a fox.

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