Rabbit Troop Sucks

Mysteries Emerge Productions
  • 5.0 (11)
  • FILM REVIEWS

Transmitting from Denver, Colorado, lifelong friends Paul and Mike (and guests) examine obscure, forgotten about and often overlooked films.

  1. City Hunter

    23H AGO

    City Hunter

    Happy Lunar New Year! It’s the year of the horse. Let your ventures and transformations lead you to accomplishing your goals that you have been reflecting upon. Let’s celebrate with Jackie Chan and some Hong Kong cinema fun. Ryo Saeba (Jackie Chan) is known as City Hunter. He swore to his now deceased partner that he would look after his sister Kaori (Joey Wang). No funny business! City Hunter is hired to find a client’s missing daughter, Kiyoko (Kumiko Goto). Once located, everyone conveniently finds their way to a cruise. The dance number is AMAZING! You’ll love Hard and Soft! Unfortunately, there are a bunch of terrorists on board. They are led by “Big Mac” MacDonald (Richard Norton), and now City Hunter has to shut that nonsense down. RTS learns baccarat and the art of throwing deadly playing cards. Jeremy contemplates the many bowls of rice he has eaten over the years. So much rice and continuous hunger! La-Mar wonders if everything Street Fighter in this film was a fever dream. Yoga Flame! Collin helps City Hunter find a meal. It’s a decent meal. No one eats goo bread! This film is based on the manga work of Tsukasa Hojo. Have fun with this zany adaptation. City Hunter!

    1h 17m
  2. Devil's Express

    FEB 6

    Devil's Express

    A long time ago, a demon was trapped in a medallion and that medallion was then buried. While two martial artists, Luke Curtis (Warhawk Tanzania) and Rodan (Wilfredo Roldan), vacation in Hong Kong, Rodan finds It and brings it back to the U.S. That demon, now loose, does NOT like that business! So, it tracks these fellas back to New York City (where you get picante sauce). This monster then takes residence in the subway system where it starts attacking people. Between gang fights, inept policing and friends doing weird things, Luke is juggling a lot! Now, he has to take care of some smelly (we assume) subway monster. Good luck, buddy! RTS grabs some lunch with the Red Dragons. It’s amazing! Jeremy paints on some eyes and roams the streets. Another day on Colfax! La-Mar gets questionable spiritual assistance from a man whose face is falling apart. The real takeaway from this film (also known as Gang Wars) is: put all of your problems in an ancient, magical amulet and bury it deep! You’ll be fine.

    1h 8m
  3. Out Cold

    JAN 30

    Out Cold

    A group of fun-loving snowboarders are about to lose their jobs when the resort they work at is being sold to John Major (Lee Majors). Rick Rambis (Jason London), Luke (Zach Galifianakis), Jenny (A.J. Cook), and others band together to make sure the Bull Mountain party in Alaska never ends. You know the story. We’ve been here before, but can Rick win over the woman he’s yearning for? Does he even want to? The life of Ram-man Rambis is strange. Can we celebrate Papa Muntz (Lewis Arquette) properly? There is a Playboy Playmate (Victoria Silvstedt) on set!? RTS shreds with Majors. A cocktail tail in one hand/a dream in another. Jeremy investigates the entire backlog of the original The Fall Guy series. He is now working as a bounty hunter by night. La-Mar tests the freshness of the mountain pow. It is and isn’t exactly what you think it is. Collin is delighted to high-five after evicting others and receiving security duty. Let’s get some snow here in real life. Snow gods, dump thee snow upon us!

    1h 9m
  4. Memoirs of an Invisible Man

    JAN 23

    Memoirs of an Invisible Man

    Nick Halloway (Chevy Chase) is a stock market executive. Through his colleague/maybe friend George (Michael McKean,) Nick meets Alice Monroe (Daryl Hannah) and they bang it out in a bathroom at a restaurant. True love! Nick keeps his party going, drinks himself silly and then attends a client’s conference the next day. Hungover as hell, he sneaks off and takes a lil’ catnap in an office bathroom/sauna. Also, some high-level science stuff is going on and going wrong. Through a coffee spill accident, everything goes bonks and all that was in the building (including Nick) turns invisible. Now, the government, especially CIA official David Jenkins (Sam Neill), wants Nick so they can harness his molecules. RTS shacks up at George’s beach house and goes on the new all clear food fad diet. Jeremy uses this newfound power for nefarious purposes. La-Mar teaches us that playing the stocks is always a guaranteed success. Collin reveals himself, watches this film and then decides to go ghost-invisible again. Rami immediately goes to Switzerland. It has always been the only choice. What would you do with the power of invisibility?

    1h 21m
  5. I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle

    JAN 16

    I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle

    Buyer beware in this story! A biker gang kills an occult leader trying to summon a demon. This demon then fuses itself into a motorcycle (duh!). Noddy (Neil Morrissey) purchases this motorcycle from a friend (for a questionable price). It becomes quickly apparent that this bike is an evil vampire demon force that thirsts for blood. Noddy just wants to fondle his girlfriend Kim (Amanda Noar) and have a good time at the local pub. It’s not going to happen! Inspector Cleaver (Michael Elphick) and his garlic breath will be checking into all of this. RTS teams up with Priest (Anthony Daniels) to fight the forces of evil and to decipher “the binary language of moisture vaporators.” Jeremy does things with a crossbow that will tantalize and haunt you. La-Mar causally watches a group of jocks explode at the gym. Collin successfully orders and receives the coveted bag of crisps. Rami gets a galaxy of garlic prawns. “Three prawns are hardly a galaxy.” At least the garlic helps! After this flick, let’s all grab a bite to eat.

    1h 18m
  6. Zapped!

    JAN 9

    Zapped!

    Two high schoolers are up to some standard fantasy youthful stuff. Barney Springboro (Scott Baio) is a science pro! While working in the lab, he accidentally concocts a formula that gives him telekinesis. His buddy, Peyton Nichols (Willie Aames), wants to harness that power to get women out of their tops and to win some serious money betting. Barney doesn’t seem to like that idea all too much, but he doesn’t have a better one of his own. Really, there doesn’t seem to be a plan to use any of these powers. Bernadette (Felice Schachter) is trying to study these unique abilities – and all of Barney. Principal Coolidge (Robert Mandan) is just trying to get a date. RTS accompanies Dexter (Scatman Crothers) in the boiler room. That’s where the real party is. There’s A LOT of salami talk. Jeremy chugs some beers and heads to the Tilt-a-Whirl. La-Mar goes full Zap at the prom. Watch out for flying fruit and the firehose. Collin wields true ultimate power; everyone now thinks he’s possessed. Teens with undefined powers and lofty dreams! What could go wrong?

    1h 16m
  7. Highlander

    JAN 2

    Highlander

    Through a series of moments in time, we learn about Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) who was born in the highlands of Scotland. He is an immortal swordsman who has been trained by Ramirez (Sean Connery) and prepares for “The Gathering” in NYC. The winner will obtain “The Prize.” As the end battle approaches, the Kurgan (Clancy Brown) is going on a murderous rampage – immortals or not. He is determined to be the only one, “there can be only one.” In addition to this immortal battle, Brenda (Roxanne Hart) is working forensics and is trying to get a peek at Connor’s mythical sword (all puns intended). RTS sets up an amazing multilevel antique shop/home. You never know where the elevators will take you. Jeremy starts calling everyone a “haggis.” La-Mar hangs out with Macleod’s cousin Dougal. That guy knows where to get a drink. Collin whips up some baked goods for “The Gathering.” It’s nice to have refreshments at a time like this. Sharpen your blades, watch your necks and let Queen drive the music in this 80s fantasy adventure. “Who wants to live forever?”

    1h 24m
  8. Commando

    12/26/2025

    Commando

    John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a sweet, ex-military man trying to live his retired life with his daughter, Jenny (Alyssa Milano). When he’s not logging or walking around with logs, he’s eating ice cream and feeding wild deer. Now, Arius (Dan Hedaya) and his number one thug, Bennett (Vernon Wells), pull John back into the game by kidnapping Jenny. John is all Command-NO about it! He somehow teams up with Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) to fly planes and get things done. Is Cindy the new mom? RTS checks out some brochures to Val Verde. Between the warlords, plotting and potential alien monsters, this place has something for everyone. La-Mar tells a bunch of people they’ll die last. He lied about it. They’re taken out rather quickly. Collin starts wearing his own chainmail vest. The trend has started to take off. Brent makes his Rabbit Troop Sucks debut by jumping out of a plane and leaving bodies along the way. Also, he’s going full commando! ‘Tis the season!

    1h 16m
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

Transmitting from Denver, Colorado, lifelong friends Paul and Mike (and guests) examine obscure, forgotten about and often overlooked films.

Information

  • Creator
    Mysteries Emerge Productions
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    197
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Rabbit Troop Sucks