Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Andy Grant | Authenticity & Masculinity Coach
  • 5.0 (77)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Real Men Feel helps men grow beyond outdated rules of masculinity to live with authenticity, purpose, and joy. Since 2016, host Andy Grant has explored how vulnerability, courage, and real conversation fuel personal growth, self-improvement, and emotional well-being. 🥇 Silver Signal Award Winner – Most Inspirational Podcast & Best Self-Help Show. 🎧 Join our free community for men at https://realmenfeel.org/group 💬 Want to be a guest? Connect with Andy on PodMatch, https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/realmenfeel 🔗 Show notes & resources: https://realmenfeel.org

  1. Redefining Masculinity: From Soldier to Sensual Guide

    2d ago

    Redefining Masculinity: From Soldier to Sensual Guide

    From Marine to Somatic Intimacy Guide: Andre Lazarus on Presence Over Performance Host Andy Grant interviews Andre Lazarus, a former US Marine turned somatic intimacy guide and surrogate partner therapist featured on the UK series Virgin Island. Andre describes serving in Afghanistan, leading others, and later being drawn into intimacy work after partners reflected its therapeutic impact, alongside unlearning rigid ideas of masculinity. He critiques the manosphere as often dangerous but notes it offers community and conversation to struggling young men. Andre defines somatic work as body-based healing—through breath, touch, and nervous-system regulation—often more effective than talk alone for physical or sexual trauma, and discusses common male intimacy issues like rapid ejaculation, erectile concerns, dissociation, and over-focusing on a partner’s pleasure. He emphasizes breathing as a foundational practice, compassion in difficult family relationships, that surrogate partner therapy is a triadic model with a licensed therapist, and that “intimacy is not performance, its presence,” “simple doesn’t mean easy,” and “there is no one way of being a man.” 00:00 Surrogate Therapy Explained 00:43 Meet Andre Lazarus 01:32 From Marines to Intimacy 03:28 Masculinity and Unlearning 07:35 Vulnerability Myths 09:13 Manosphere Pull Explained 14:34 Somatics Defined 16:18 Men’s Hidden Intimacy Struggles 20:45 Breath as First Practice 24:03 Healing Father Wounds 27:05 Virgin Island and Surrogacy 29:57 Going Public With the Work 32:42 Boundaries With Clients 34:33 Never Too Late to Grow 36:01 Connect With Andre 37:39 Final Takeaways on Presence Connect with Andre Andre Lazarus — https://coming-closer.com/ Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/ Highlights of Virgin Island — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbnU9iq6kGBFORNkmpVkNhQ6KoZVkf04T Connect with Andy: Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.org YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel #RealMenFeel ep 406

    39 min
  2. From Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Confessions of a Problem Seeker

    May 22

    From Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Confessions of a Problem Seeker

    From Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Howard Steinberg on Trauma, Achievement, and Authentic Masculinity Host Andy Grant interviews Howard Steinberg, author of Confessions of a Problem Seeker, about how compulsive hyperthinking and achievement masked inherited trauma from being raised by Holocaust survivors, plus the fear and isolation shaped by a childhood type 1 diabetes diagnosis and a likely undiagnosed ADHD. Steinberg describes building an outwardly successful identity as an entrepreneur while living in survival mode, then facing a midlife unraveling marked by business losses, divorce, and shifting family roles that forced surrender and deeper emotional work. Howard shares how meditation, breathwork, somatic awareness, spiritual therapy, and psychedelic-assisted healing helped him move from mind-based control to heart-based truth, reframing masculinity as love and vulnerability. Key takeaways include: “I wish I had the courage to live an authentic life,” “The mind operates in fear… the heart operates in love,” and “You’re good enough… nothing to prove.” 00:00 Top Regret of the Dying 00:23 Meet Howard Steinberg 01:18 What Is a Problem Seeker 03:04 Survival Mode Origins 06:50 Hiding Vulnerability 08:01 Authenticity and Psychedelics 09:11 Midlife Unraveling 11:58 Ambition as Survival 14:03 Advice for Life Collapse 19:05 Tools That Opened the Heart 22:54 Somatics Get Out of Your Head 24:47 Trauma Family and Community 26:17 Forgiving and Reframing Parents 27:33 Fatherhood Grandfatherhood Love 28:25 Authentic Masculinity Is Love 29:20 Where to Find the Book 29:46 You’re Good Enough 30:42 Closing Reflections and Community Connect with Howard Howard Steinberg — https://howardsteinberg.com/ Confessions of a Problem Seeker: My Lifetime Journey From Busy Brain To Loving Heart — https://amzn.to/3PS3ffX Connect with Andy: Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.org YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel #RealMenFeel ep 405

    32 min
  3. Men Forge Forward: Overcoming Pressure and Finding Purpose

    May 15

    Men Forge Forward: Overcoming Pressure and Finding Purpose

    Men, Masks, and Meaning: Sean Hegarty on Being “Fine,” Identity, and Men Forge Forward Host Andy Grant talks with Sean Hegarty, founder of Men Forge Forward, about how many men hide stress behind the mask of being “fine,” shaped by pressure, responsibility, and fear of appearing weak. Drawing on years as a paramedic and healthcare manager, Sean describes seeing men buckle under hidden load—especially during COVID when support networks vanished—and shares his own “dark time” after being diagnosed with complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder, which ended his paramedic career and triggered depression and suicidal thoughts. Through therapy, networking, and coaching, he learned to separate identity from job, focus inward on values, and build an accessible Skool-based community that became a supportive brotherhood. He explains signs of being stuck, the power of vulnerability and peer support, his critique of commercial coaching frameworks, and emphasizes that “it’s okay not to be okay.” 00:00 I'm Fine Lie00:23 Meet Sean Hegarty01:11 Emergency Care Stress04:10 Masks And Weakness06:51 Losing Paramedic Identity08:38 Coaching Turning Point11:20 Building Men Forge13:36 Brotherhood Community16:23 Not Finished Just Stuck21:34 Signs He's Not Fine23:39 Leading With Micro Wins25:54 Connect And Closing Connect with SeanMen Forge Forward — http://menforgeforward.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seanhegarty01/ Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel #RealMenFeel ep 404

    28 min
  4. Redefining Strength Emotional Fitness and Vulnerability

    May 8

    Redefining Strength Emotional Fitness and Vulnerability

    Emotional Fitness: Redefining Strength Through Self-Love and Vulnerability Host Andy Grant welcomes Shaun Zetlin—master fitness trainer, motivational speaker, and author of Emotional Fitness—who defines “emotional fitness” as empowering yourself emotionally through exercise and releasing emotions stored in the body. Shaun shares how being born with club feet, being picked last, and a humiliating kickball incident where a camp counselor yelled, “What a loser,” led him to survive on shame and fueled his mission to help others not feel ashamed of their bodies. He reframes strength as facing and befriending childhood pain, accepting “Little Shaun” and recognizing that “You wouldn’t be Big Shaun without Little Shaun.” Shaun describes a turning point in high school theatre when he found belonging and confidence, and explains why men avoid vulnerability out of fear of being unlovable and cling to familiar belief systems. Viral quotes: “Shame…is the cruelest emotion of all”; “Surviving on shame”; “Everybody suffers in their own way.” 00:00 Shame and the Mission 00:18 Meet Shaun Zetlin 01:01 What Emotional Fitness Means 02:08 From Outcast to Training 03:19 Redefining Strength 07:06 Finding Belonging on Stage 09:39 Kickball Trauma and Shame 12:12 Why Men Fear Vulnerability 16:31 Using the Gym to Avoid Feelings 18:42 Turning Pain into Service 24:00 How to Connect and Final Wisdom 25:52 Closing Message and Community Connect with Shaun Shaun Zetlin — https://www.zetlinfitness.com/ Instagram — https://instagram.com/zetlinfitness/ LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-zetlin-96167270 Resources Emotional Fitness: Empower Yourself Emotionally Through Exercise by Shaun Zetlin — https://amzn.to/4tnXcxm Connect with Andy: Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠⁠ Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info! Real Men Feel | https://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠⁠ YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ #RealMenFeel ep 403

    27 min
  5. Reinventing Yourself: Autonomy, Competence, and Connection

    May 1

    Reinventing Yourself: Autonomy, Competence, and Connection

    Reinvention, Grief, and Identity After Corporate Life On Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with reinvention coach Shelley McIntyre about why workplace change triggers resistance rooted in grief and fear of loss, explained through self-determination theory’s three needs: autonomy, competence, and connection. McIntyre distinguishes reinvention coaching from career coaching by focusing on identity questions—when high achievers feel they’ve “masked” themselves with competence, status, and titles, and fear they won’t matter without them. They discuss the hidden grief of losing a career path, the “invisible contract” of loyalty for security that companies don’t actually honor, and signs it’s time to move on, including not liking who you’ve become, loss of belief in the work, and body sensations like “soul rot.” McIntyre outlines phases of reinvention (identity crisis, rebuilding foundation, experimentation) and emphasizes vulnerability, emotional vocabulary tools like an emotions wheel, and low-stakes steps like talking to people who’ve left corporate life, while reminding men that their value is inherent. 00:00 Three Needs Triangle00:44 Meet The Guest01:26 From Strategy To Coaching02:10 Resistance And Grief03:31 Self Determination At Work04:45 Reinvention Not Career Coaching06:11 When Competence Becomes Mask07:57 Title Status And Terror10:19 Layoffs Threaten Autonomy10:49 Signs It's Time To Leave12:55 Annihilation Fear And Culture14:45 Invisible Contract Myth17:33 Razor Blade Comfort Zone18:20 Four Phases Of Reinvention20:02 Crisis Versus Pre-Growth24:15 Vulnerability Fuels Change27:16 Emotion Wheel And Vocabulary29:01 Low Stakes First Steps30:42 Where To Find Shelley31:11 Inherent Value Closing31:55 Final Takeaways And Invite Connect with ShelleyShelley McIntyre — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/Burn The Map Podcast — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/podcast/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelley-mcintyre/ Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ #RealMenFeel ep 402

    33 min
  6. Life Reboot: Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries

    Apr 24

    Life Reboot: Embracing Vulnerability and Setting Boundaries

    From Burnout to Boundaries: Clarity, Values, and Life Reboot Host Andy Grant interviews coach Loren Silverman, who helps overwhelmed high performers set healthier boundaries, clarify values, and rebuild steadier lives, including through his gamified 12-week “Life Reboot Nerd Edition” (a Dungeons & Dragons-style framework where clients “level up” real-life skills like boundaries and energy mastery). Silverman shares his own burnout and how the 2022 Ukraine invasion—impacting his Ukrainian dev team—prompted him to travel to Poland to transport refugees, reshaping how he wanted to serve people. Loren emphasizes pausing for self-awareness, naming emotions (using tools like a feelings wheel), and choosing clarity over trying harder when misaligned with values: “Are you just not satisfied, or are you despondent?” He defines boundaries as protecting time and energy, warns against reflexive yeses, describes “cleaner conversations” via clear requests, and uses pinball’s “dead bounce” as a metaphor for patience and measured response. He encourages men to embrace vulnerability and intimacy with male friends. 00:00 Name Your Feelings00:18 Meet Loren Silverman00:57 Burnout to Coaching01:36 Ukraine Turning Point05:20 What Burnout Felt Like07:25 Values Before Action08:27 Pause Reboot Grow09:01 Clarity Beats Effort11:15 Life Reboot Nerd Edition14:03 Boundaries That Protect17:25 Clean Conversations19:44 Feelings Wheel Basics20:58 Tracking Real Progress22:04 Pinball Life Lessons24:56 Connect and Final Wisdom Connect with LorenLoren Silverman — https://www.silvermancoach.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorensilverman/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/lorensilvermancoach/Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578400050255 Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠ #RealMenFeel ep 401

    28 min
  7. The Invisible Scorecard—What Men Measure and Who They Become

    Apr 17

    The Invisible Scorecard—What Men Measure and Who They Become

    Episode 400: The Invisible Scorecard Host Andy Grant marks Real Men Feel’s 400th episode and 10-year anniversary with returning guest Vanessa Cardenas, a relationship reset expert, to examine how men constantly measure themselves through an “invisible scorecard” of success, money, status, age, and relationship milestones. They discuss how comparison “pulls a man out of his life and puts him onto someone else’s timeline,” eroding confidence and intimacy, especially when men fill gaps with imagined stories about past partners. Cardenas emphasizes authenticity, dropping the mask, reducing destructive scorekeeping, and using milestones in healthy ways, noting that clarity builds confidence, which in turn supports intimacy. She shares coaching approaches that focus on the here-and-now, appreciation and recognition in relationships, and practical communication shifts. They also explore how significant transformation can happen in 400 minutes, hours, days, or months, and close by urging men to stop measuring by others’ standards and focus on who they are becoming. 00:00 Episode 400 Milestone 01:24 Vanessa Returns 03:35 Why We Measure 04:50 Men Internal Scorecard 08:27 Comparison Social Media 12:17 Mythic Man Programming 14:06 Find Your People 17:19 Comparison Kills Intimacy 20:20 Clarity Builds Confidence 22:22 Say It Differently 25:03 Relationship Reset Work 26:32 Coaching Not Therapy 27:49 Starting Sessions With Praise 29:30 Drop Comparisons And Scorecards 31:06 Milestones Versus Keeping Score 32:14 Transform In 400 36:29 Men Need Appreciation 39:03 Compliments And Being Noticed 42:41 Invest In The Work 43:39 Authenticity And Connection 46:24 Metallica Quote And Joy 47:51 Final Takeaways And Thanks Connect with Vanessa Understanding Ear — https://understandingear.com LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessa-cardenas-relationship-reset/ Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/vanessa_understandingear/ YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-Cardenas Resources Prior appearances of Vanessa Cardenas — https://www.realmenfeel.org/guests/vanessa-cardenas/ Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info! Real Men Feel | httsp://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠ YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠ #RealMenFeel ep 400

    49 min
  8. Betrayal Trauma Isn't Something You Just Get Over

    Apr 10

    Betrayal Trauma Isn't Something You Just Get Over

    Betrayal, Shame & Rebuilding Trust: The Therapy Brothers on Real Recovery On Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with licensed clinicians Brannon Patrick and Tyler Patrick (the Therapy Brothers) about betrayal, shame, trust, and recovery after relationship rupture. They share what drew them into trauma, addiction, infidelity, and betrayal work, why men often seek help only after disclosure or rock bottom, and how fear of rejection and “unlovability” drives hiding, overperforming, and defensiveness. They describe betrayal trauma as complex trauma with PTSD-like symptoms and explain that healing requires safety, validation, and time rather than pressure to “just get over it.” They unpack “Mr. Nice Guy” patterns as fear-based manipulation, distinguish apology from accountability rooted in personal integrity, and emphasize rebuilding trust through authenticity, empathy, and consistent action. They outline shame resilience—awareness, self-compassion, and courageous disclosure—and discuss surrendering performance-based spirituality. 00:00 Shame and Hiding00:32 Show Intro and Guests01:29 Why They Became Therapists05:33 Men and Rock Bottom09:29 Betrayal Trauma Explained11:53 Why Just Get Over It Fails13:27 Mr Nice Guy Pattern18:07 Authenticity and Self Trust21:03 Roots of Betrayal and Addiction22:12 Apology Versus Accountability23:32 Integrity Apologies24:18 Building Safety Trust25:29 Shame Hiding Cycle28:38 Shame Resilience Tools30:03 Surrender Not Performance33:05 Tyler Rock Bottom Story36:40 Reclaim Your Heart39:19 Connect With Brothers40:16 What Men Need Know42:36 Final Takeaways Connect with Brannon and TylerReclaim Your Heart — https://reclaimyourheart.orgTherapy Brothers — https://therapybrothers.org/Instagram — https://instagram.com/therapy.brothersYouTube — https://youtube.com/@therapy.brothers Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠ #RealMenFeel ep 399

    44 min
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5
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77 Ratings

About

Real Men Feel helps men grow beyond outdated rules of masculinity to live with authenticity, purpose, and joy. Since 2016, host Andy Grant has explored how vulnerability, courage, and real conversation fuel personal growth, self-improvement, and emotional well-being. 🥇 Silver Signal Award Winner – Most Inspirational Podcast & Best Self-Help Show. 🎧 Join our free community for men at https://realmenfeel.org/group 💬 Want to be a guest? Connect with Andy on PodMatch, https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/realmenfeel 🔗 Show notes & resources: https://realmenfeel.org

Information

  • Creator
    Andy Grant | Authenticity & Masculinity Coach
  • Years Active
    2016 - 2026
  • Episodes
    405
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Andy Grant | Authenticity & Masculinity Coach
  • Show Website
    Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

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