302 episodes

Real Men Feel was founded to encourage men to allow for and express all of their emotions. We remind men that they are human beings. Producer and host, Andy Grant is an author, speaker, transformation coach, healer, and suicide attempt survivor. See show notes at http://realmenfeel.org. Learn more about Andy at http://TheAndyGrant.com. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/support

Real Men Feel Andy Grant

    • Health & Fitness
    • 5.0 • 58 Ratings

Real Men Feel was founded to encourage men to allow for and express all of their emotions. We remind men that they are human beings. Producer and host, Andy Grant is an author, speaker, transformation coach, healer, and suicide attempt survivor. See show notes at http://realmenfeel.org. Learn more about Andy at http://TheAndyGrant.com. Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/support

    Did Your Partner Betray You? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 2

    Did Your Partner Betray You? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 2

    Men and women deal with emotions differently, but we all have them. And any man who believes that stuffing and denying their feelings are the path to a happy and successful life - all I can say is that is NOT my experience, nor is it the experience of anyone I've ever met. One of the most painful things a man can experience is the betrayal by his spouse.

    Today is part 2 of Recovering From Betrayal, focusing on a man betrayed by his wife.

    My returning guest, Vanessa Cardenas, is your trusted advisor for Betrayal and Transformation. Vanessa is a highly experienced C-Suite Executive, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker with a degree in Industrial Psychology. She is also the founder and CEO of Understanding Ear, LLC, where she empowers individuals and groups to heal from betrayal, amplify their authenticity, and find love and happiness on their terms.

    Vanessa shares how she went from supporting women to serving more and more men. We explore the pain, secrecy, and shame men experience after discovering their spouse's cheating. Vanessa also explores why men and women have affairs and the most common question men have when they find out they've been betrayed.

    While women often want to tell the world when they've been cheated on, that is not the typical response for men. What is so crucial for a man who has been betrayed is to forgive himself.

    The core message is to be willing to have difficult conversations before betrayal to avoid needing them after.

    Topics and Questions


    2:12: How different is the experience of recovering from betrayal when you are the betrayed party?
    7:33 - Vanessa's first male client
    12:23 - The six most common reasons women cheat
    16:26 - What does a man feel from betrayal?
    19:34 - Differences between how a man feels and how he thinks society says he should feel.
    24:19 - Is this journey of self-forgiveness different if the wife wants the relationship to continue or not?
    27:47 - Are there any best practices for a man when he discovers his partner is cheating?
    34:44 - What is the best way for people to find out about everything you are up to?
    37:02 - The response to Vanessa's first appearance



    Links

    Vanessa Cardenas -- https://www.understandingear.com

    Talk to Vanessa -- https://www.understandingear.com/betrayed-men

    Recommended resources

    Man's Search for Meaning -- https://amzn.to/43BFxG0

    RMF 149 - Men in Emotionally Abusive Relationships

    http://realmenfeel.org/2019/09/24/ep-149-men-in-emotionally-abusive-relationships/

    RMF 226 - The Abuse of Men by Women

    http://realmenfeel.org/2021/02/16/the-abuse-of-men-by-women/

    https://www.truthaboutdeception.com/



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

    YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel


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    Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/support

    • 42 min
    Can You Enjoy Time Alone? | Growth & Resistance

    Can You Enjoy Time Alone? | Growth & Resistance

    If you notice today's episode looking and sounding different, I'm on the road and don't have my usual setup.

    Are you comfortable being alone? Can you enjoy your own company?

    Often men will feel uncomfortable emotions if they are alone and in silence. I am an only child, so I'm used to being alone, but I'd always have music or a TV playing in the background. I wasn't a fan of absolute silence because I wasn't a fan of some of my thoughts.

    Over the years and with lots of work and growth, I'm incredibly comfortable on my own and with the silence of only my mind. Growing up, I thought doing something in public alone meant you were a friendless loser. I'd miss movies and concerts that I wanted to see but couldn't find someone who wanted to go.

    In recent years I've started going to movies alone and love it - no debate, no hesitation, no trying to convince someone. I've even gone to some concerts alone, too, and enjoyed myself and didn't feel judged. Earlier this year, I saw Anthrax in Boston on a Sunday night, and I knew even my friends who like Anthrax wouldn't go out on a Sunday night.

    I'm in Toronto, Canada, for two weeks of training with the Modern Mystery School. I'm being recertified as a Guide, Healer, and Life Activation practitioner, then taking seven days of new classes. I drove up here alone, a 12-hour ride since I drive a Tesla and need to stop to charge every 90 minutes or so on the highway. But I had a blast. I could sing at the top of longs to a full day's worth of songs that I love. I explored new towns and stores at each new stop, and the weather was fantastic.

    I drove here on Sunday, and today, Wednesday is the only day I don't have any classes. I planned to visit the Wonderland amusement park, which is just 10 miles away and has some great rides, including a world record-holding dive coaster -- that's when you pause at the top - - which, if you know me -- I love roller coasters. I had planned to do a show about enjoying yourself - and I don't mean masturbation - with lots of photos from today with me by myself on all sorts of cool rides.

    But, another thing common on the path of spiritual growth and healing is resistance. Technically known as your shit, meaning your shit will come up when you go beyond your comfort zone and grow.



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

    YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel


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    Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/message
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    • 7 min
    Did You Betray Your Partner? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 1

    Did You Betray Your Partner? | Recovering From Betrayal Part 1

    Since men are human, they can make mistakes. One aspect of life we make mistakes in is our relationships. Since so many studies show that a strong prediction of happiness and longevity is the quality of our relationships, betraying our partner is a significant issue.

    Google says that nearly half of individuals in monogamous relationships admit to having an affair. Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating.

    My guest today, Vanessa Cardenas, is your trusted advisor for Betrayal and Transformation. Vanessa is a highly experienced C-Suite Executive, Mentor, Coach, and Speaker with a degree in Industrial Psychology. She is also the founder and CEO of Understanding Ear, LLC, where she empowers individuals and groups to heal from betrayal, amplify their authenticity, and find love and happiness on their terms.

    Vanessa delivers a master class on men who've betrayed their spouses but want to stay together. She shares the three aspects of cheating, why women can't just "get over it," and seven reasons why men cheat. You'll also learn what got Vanessa working with betrayal.

    Be willing to have difficult conversations before betrayal to avoid needing them after.

    Topics and Questions


    1:34 - In your work, what constitutes betrayal?
    2:14 - The three aspects of cheating.
    5:47 - Are men and women equally likely to cheat?
    7:10 - Did you initially work exclusively with women?
    9:09 - Does it matter why a man cheats?
    9:37 - Vanessa's experience with being betrayed.
    13:37 - Seven most popular reasons why men cheat.
    19:56 - Does having any of these reasons mean you are destined for betrayal?
    20:26 - Does blame and responsibility fall on both partners?
    20:52 - The very first thing to do once you've come clean.
    24:39 - Is there anything men should NOT do?
    25:55 - Can a relationship be better post-betrayal?
    28:11 - What men can do to rebuild the relationship.
    31:33 - How a relationship can be better post-healing.
    34:18 - Men are taught not to feel.
    35:57 - What do you tell a man who can't understand why his wife can't just 'let it go?"
    37:34 - Returning for part two, When You've Been Betrayed.
    39:40 - Recommended resources and how to get in touch with Vanessa



    "If you don't make time for your relationship. You will be forced to make time for your loneliness" - Vanessa Cardenas



    Links

    Vanessa Cardenas -- https://www.understandingear.com

    Talk to Vanessa -- https://www.understandingear.com/betrayed-men

    Recommended books

    Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating -- https://amzn.to/3LAs6yP

    The Gift of Fear -- https://amzn.to/4191V86

    Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partners' Betrayal: What to Do When Your World Falls Apart -- https://amzn.to/42lwlEU

    Dealing with the Devastation of Your Partner's Betrayal: How to Talk to Your Kids, Parents, In-Laws, Friends, and Others -- https://amzn.to/3HGcOaD



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

    YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/support

    • 44 min
    Cultural Appropriation in the Mankind Project | Real or Imagined?

    Cultural Appropriation in the Mankind Project | Real or Imagined?

    Last Sunday, a man reached out to the Real Men Feel page on Facebook and said - I would like to appear on your show and debate "cultural appropriation in MKP." That man, B Crittenden Freeman, is my guest today.

    Crittenden has been a member of the ManKind Project for 30 years holding multiple positions, Center Director, Elder, Leader In Training, and Recording Secretary for the MKP USA Board. He was responsible for the occurrence of the 1st NWTA Urban Adventure. 

    Initially, I thought this subject had been played out. I've done two shows about it, but they were me alone, and I did ask for people to step forward and discuss this with me. So, here we are. I don't think we are on opposite sides of any issue for a brawling debate, but let's find out.

    To follow our conversation, you'll need to know a few acronyms; MKP is the ManKind Project, NWTA is their New Warrior Training Adventure weekend, and LKS is the Lodge Keepers Society, the group within MKP responsible for building and running sweat lodges.

    Topics and Questions


    1:22 - Could you lay the groundwork; what is the controversy around cultural appropriation and MKP?
    4:55 - Andy's experience of the NWTA in 2016
    5:38 - Have indigenous people claimed MKP has been ripping them off from the beginning or only recently?
    6:25 - What happened last year to make this a big issue and result in changes?
    7:55 - Andy was ready to staff an NWTA last fall, but MKP halted everything.
    9:51 - The millions being made.
    13:14 - How MKP learned to put on sweat lodges.
    16:56 - The shadow elements of the situation.
    21:20 - Cultural appropriation in the melting pot of the United States.
    23:57 - Are you good with the outcome but oppose the communication around it?
    26:01 - With the changes made, are you in or out with MKP?
    30:24 - What's your ideal scenario for resolution?
    31:45 - Andy's experience with the updated MKP weekend.
    33:45 - What drove your 30 years of participation with MKP?
    36:42 - Tell me about the first Urban NWTA.
    41:43 - Anything else you want to share?
    42:57 - How can people connect with you?
    43:37 - Is there a way to get off the limited activities list?

    "How does a dominant culture say to a non-dominant culture, you are coming from a wounded place?" - B Crittenden Freeman

    Links

    Critt on Facebook -- https://www.facebook.com/b.crittenden.freeman

    MKP USA -- https://mkpusa.org/

    Spirit -- https://www.spiritprotection.org/



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

    YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel



    #RealMenFeel ep 300


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    • 46 min
    Tapping Into The Strength of Men | The Power of Choice

    Tapping Into The Strength of Men | The Power of Choice

    I love to give any man who is being of service a platform to share his message. I met today's guest, Dustin Bakker, in an online program and was immediately impressed by his willingness to be authentic and vulnerable and his desire to help other men.

    After losing his sense of happiness, Dustin began changing his life and slowly became aware of what his mind, body, and soul were trying to tell him. Dustin did the research, study, and inner work required to discover his happiness. He's gone on to create F.O.ReaLiving and The Strength of Men.

    We discuss the power of choice, expressing emotions, and the goal of a stronger connection to our authentic selves. Dustin shares how drugs were one of his masks, keeping him from his strengths and true self.

    Dustin is a strong example of self-sufficiency while also yearning for connection. It does not have to be one or the other. Community is another strength that society seems to have let go of. 

    We all benefit from helping others.



    Topics and Questions


    1:04 - Tell me about what growing up was like for you.
    1:53 - Was your general outlook positive, negative, or neutral?
    2:44 - Did you follow your mom's path of being a partier?
    4:25 - Was being alone so much growing up a happy time for you?
    5:21 - When did you realize your life wasn't working to the extent you wanted it to?
    8:03 - Can you expand on the "movie scene" you came home to?
    9:12 - Have you always had that intuitive sense?
    10:19 - Is a group of scaffolders in British Colombia usually talking about happiness and fulfillment?
    11:19 - What do you do in your men's gathering?
    12:02 - What are some of the tools you've learned?
    14:09 - What do you see as the strength of men?
    15:54 - What made you appreciate your emotions?
    19:37 - Could you feel connected to your authentic self when drunk or high?
    20:56 -How did you learn what it means to be a man?
    22:48 - What is FOReal Living?
    24:59 - Can you share a practice, program, or book that has helped you?
    25:48 - What is one thing you wish more men knew?
    27:24 - What are you most proud of?
    29:15 - What would you like to see The Strength of Men become?
    34:51 - How can people learn more about what you are up to?



    "Choice is the superpower that we all have." - Dustin Bakker



    Links

    Instagram -- instagram.com/thestrenghtofmen/

    Facebook -- facebook.com/thestrengthofmen

    Dustin Bakker -- TheStrengthOfMen.com

    F.O.Realiving -- forealiving.com

    Healing & Mystical States Are Just A Breath Away on Amazon, https://amzn.to/41OdGS5



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

    YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel


    ---

    Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/support

    • 36 min
    Connecting Through Trauma | Life-Changing Stories

    Connecting Through Trauma | Life-Changing Stories

    When life gets hard, a lot of men withdraw. They talk less. In the face of a health challenge for yourself or a loved one, you might be much more willing to discuss logistics and tasks than the emotional impact.

    My guest today is not most men. He believes in having hard conversations with people going through trauma. 

    David Richman is an author, public speaker, and endurance athlete whose mission is to form more meaningful human connections through storytelling. With his most recent book, Cycle of Lives, David shares stories of people overcoming trauma and delves deeply into their emotional journeys with cancer.

    He interviewed fifteen people who were profoundly affected by cancer - either as a caregiver, patient, or loved one - and explored the dynamic of why it's so hard to discuss the emotional aspects of the journey. These evocative stories give the reader a few tools to take away and use in their own lives when encountering the difficulties of talking to others about the emotional aspects of trauma.

    We discuss getting past assumptions, beginning the hard conversations, and being open to the negative and positive aspects of traumatic experiences. To connect with the people we care about, we must be willing to be uncomfortable. There is more behind anyone's story than we know.

    Don't worry about what's "proper." Let someone know you care authentically.

    Topics and Questions


    1:13: - What prompted you to want to write a book dealing with cancer?
    1:13: - What prompted you to want to write a book dealing with cancer?
    4:44 - Did each participant have a positive side to their experience?
    7:12 - How did you decide on these 15 stories? 
    9:46 - Did you come across any common themes amongst the participants?
    13:52 - Did you see that prior trauma led to more or less resilience regarding cancer?
    18:27 - Fear of abandonment during trauma.
    19:49 - The lie of not wanting to upset someone further.
    21:09 - Is it scarier that people might not care or that they would care?
    22:48 - Did everyone want the same sort of support?
    25:44 - How did you get people to open up to you on such a personal and profound level?
    27:21 - Is the advice the same for friends and family who are not trying to write books?
    28:44 - What do you hope the reader takes away from reading your book?
    29:47 - How do you think the participants' lives were affected by your deep interactions with them?
    35:24 - What's the best way for people to learn more about what you are up to?
    35:32 - Anything you are looking forward to?
    36:16 - Did this prompt participants to write or share more of their stories?

    "People are so fearful of saying the wrong thing, while the person going thru the trauma is wondering why nobody will talk to them." - David Richman

    Links

    Instagram -- instagram.com/davidrichman_cycleoflives/

    David Ricman -- CycleofLives.org

    See Cycle of Lives on Amazon, https://amzn.to/3GK6zlF



    Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:

    Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk

    Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant

    Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!

    Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related!

    RMF Facebook Group | realmenfeel.org/group

    YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel



    #RealMenFeel


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    Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/message
    Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/realmenfeel/support

    • 38 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
58 Ratings

58 Ratings

Cg911 ,

Andy is a real man

Thinking about you Andy. Good to hear your voice again.

anxiouslyattached ,

Just a hello and a thank you

Andy, you are an amazing human being and I just want to thank you for your body of work and for your vulnerability at this difficult time for you. I am the wife of a man that faithfully listens and when he finds content of yours that resonates he shares it with me. You have helped us both immensely improve ourselves as individuals and as a unit. We still have a long way to go and it’s still a lot of ups and downs but your very raw, real return reminded me that just because you’re in a struggle doesn’t mean you’re not still on a path to enlightenment and healing. It’s a part of the journey. I am in a terrible depression right now and it’s definitely the most dark, painful parts of my childhood that are surfacing. I think that sometimes stuff is so hard that we have to heal other things first in order to have the strength to handle the the things that hurt us the most, the things that we’ve carried with us for most, if not all of our lives. I want you to know that you don’t just help men, you help people, couples, their children, and anyone that loves the person that is listening, reading or watching your content. I want you to know that you help me, and if knowing that helps you in some small way, which I hope it does, that gives me more hope too. More hope that I can come out of my depression. We really are all connected. Love and light to you, kind sir.

malfoxley ,

Great show!

Andy, host of the podcast, highlights all aspects of men’s mental health and more in this can’t miss podcast! The host and expert guests offer insightful advice and information that is helpful to anyone that listens!

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