The Small Bow Podcast

thesmallbow.com
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Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

  1. 3d ago

    Opening the Doors on a Real Recovery Meeting

    This week on The Small Bow Podcast, you’re invited to join us for a Small Bow Meeting. A Small Bow Meeting is not a 12-step meeting, but we rip off most of their format. It is not necessary for participants to identify as an alcoholic or addict. This meeting is open to people who suffer from issues related to mental illness, drugs, love, sex, food, debt, codependency, inadequacy, or anything else that’s bringing you down. I want to extend a special note of thanks to everyone who participated in this meeting with the knowledge that their voice and likeness would be aired publicly, including our featured speaker, Emily Gould. Small Bow Meetings are typically anonymous, but today’s participants agreed, in the spirit of service, to share this meeting with you. Thanks to them, and thanks for being here. Small Bow Meetings happen seven days a week, over zoom. For info and to join, go to: www.thesmallbow.com/meetings 00:00:00 How non-denominational recovery works 00:03:16 Introducing guest speaker Emily Gould 00:08:09 Emily Gould on late-night scrolling, caffeine, and self-sabotage 00:22:21 Finding community when traditional 12-step isn't enough 00:28:30 Rebuilding self-worth and letting go of perfectionism 00:33:17 Learning to forgive yourself for past mistakes 00:35:31 Surviving public shame and quiet line-crossing 00:40:27 Reclaiming identity and daily peace after treatment 00:44:21 Vulnerability, fear of failure, and breaking isolation 00:51:33 Unlearning people pleasing and emotional defense mechanisms 01:00:29 Reflecting on 10 years of continuous sobriety 01:01:37 Closing the meeting with clear eyes and full hearts #EmilyGould #EMDRTherapy #EmotionalSobriety #Non12Step #SelfForgiveness #PublicShame #RecoveryMeeting #OpenMeeting #SpeakerMeeting #SoberCurious #AddictionRecovery Topics: The ""Being Sober"" Problem Emily Gould on EMDR Therapy Reframing Alcohol as a Solution Why Connection Cures Addiction Overcoming Public Shaming & Guilt Actionable Self-Forgiveness Tools Non-Denominational Recovery Rooms How EMDR Speed-Runs Trauma Emotional Sobriety Explained Healing After the Gawker Era New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Opening the Doors on a Real Recovery Meeting

  2. Jul 22

    If You’re Searching For Heaven, Go Home | Swamp Dogg on the Afterlife

    Swamp Dogg is a country, soul and R&B singer, musician, songwriter and record producer. He has influenced multiple generations of musicians with his defiantly idiosyncratic discography and has been described by Pitchfork as one of “pop’s great cult acts.” He also happens to sing The Small Bow theme song. He stopped by the studio to discuss his long career, his lifelong search for happiness, and his new album Swamp Dogg Contemplates the Afterlife. I tried to get him to contemplate the afterlife in this conversation, but he wasn’t in the mood. That said, it’s always a pleasure to spend time with a true original— when you get in the room with Swamp Dogg, you never know where you’ll wind up. 00:00:00 Finding true happiness beyond material things 00:01:21 How a random email turned into a 12-year friendship 00:02:00 Behind the new album Swamp Dogg Contemplates the Afterlife 00:05:54 Personal views on God, heaven, and eternal punishment 00:07:26 The story behind writing the podcast theme song 00:09:26 Debunking the famous LSD origin story 00:10:58 Comparing music legends John Prine, Bob Dylan, and Bon Iver 00:13:42 The realities of touring and redefining true success 00:18:01 Facing a childhood curse and surviving past age 21 00:22:20 Learning to ask for help while living your dreams 00:25:39 Why cursing is a family tradition and catching up to Samuel L. Jackson 00:37:00 Clarifying the Jane Fonda movie rumors and future collaboration ideas #SwampDogg #TheAfterLife #NewAlbum #SoulMusicLegend #BonIverCollab IfYouKillItCookbook #AcidStory #MTVLegacy #RadicalThinker #ThoughtsOnGod #JaneFonda#SwampDoggContemplatesTheAfterlife Topics: Recording a new album The afterlife, God, heaven and hell Working with Bon Iver Loving John Prine's music Playing records for Bob Dylan Meeting Jane Fonda Reaching age 84 in the music industry Writing the podcast theme Performing at the Grammys Tour life and live success Redefining success as a star Publishing a cookbook New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    If You’re Searching For Heaven, Go Home | Swamp Dogg on the Afterlife

  3. Jul 15

    Megan Koester Is A Great Writer. Why Isn’t She Writing?

    Megan Koester is a writer and stand-up comedian who isn’t writing and won’t promote her stand-up. In my opinion, she should be doing more of both of those things but hey, it’s not up to me. I wanted to have Megan back on the show to talk about self-sabotage and becoming your own worst enemy. Plus, being an atheist in recovery rooms, EMDR and weaponized trauma and how to use craigslist ephemera as self-promotion. New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098 00:00:00 Resenting Your Gifts and Half-Assing Comedy 00:01:06 Why I Hate Video Podcasts 00:02:00 What is EMDR Therapy? 00:04:00 Understanding Childhood Neglect and CPTSD 00:05:30 Dissociation, Trauma, and Coping Mechanisms 00:06:30 The Reality of Relapse and Alcohol Addiction 00:07:52 Desperation, Mental Health, and "The Body Keeps the Score" 00:09:34 Seeking Validation and Re-Parenting Yourself 00:12:12 Overcoming Creative Self-Sabotage and Minimization 00:14:14 An Agnostic View on Spiritual Healing 00:21:00 Navigating the Hollywood Entertainment Industry 00:26:00 Defining Success, Sobriety, and Artistic Expression

    Megan Koester Is A Great Writer. Why Isn’t She Writing?

  4. Jul 8

    Richard Rushfield Has Power in Hollywood. Just Don’t Tell Him That.

    When I want to know what’s going on in Hollywood, I turn to Richard Rushfield. Richard is a columnist for the Ankler, his influential newsletter about the state of the entertainment industry. He is also sober, and decided to stop by our show on his 30th sobriety anniversary. We talk about how sobriety has changed his work ethic and made him more comfortable in his own skin. We also discuss the state of sobriety in Hollywood: from Shia Labeouf to Matthew Perry and why it may take a “Me-Too” size reckoning for the industry to kick its addiction to child labor. 00:00:00 Richard Rushfield and 30 years of sobriety 00:02:11 The ""working lush"" era and early journalism 00:07:00 The cost of insurance and uninsurable stars 00:11:12 Corporate Hollywood and post Me Too HR 00:14:13 Matthew Perry, AA, and recovery in the media 00:17:28 The systemic pathology of child stardom 00:22:54 Celebrity downfalls and the media spectacle 00:25:02 Power, influence, and writing for The Ankler 00:31:05 Navigating social anxiety without alcohol 00:35:40 Leaning into fear: Flying and ego 00:41:02 How to stay sober: Daily prayer and service 00:43:39 The infamous bathroom shoving match with Phish #RichardRushfield #TheAnkler #LongTermRecovery #30YearsSober #Phish #ShowerPrayer #SocialAnxiety #ChildStars Topics: Thirty years of sobriety milestones Hollywood's view on uninsurability Robert Downey Jr.'s industry return Modern Hollywood's corporate shift Matthew Perry's recovery legacy The systemic toll of child acting Lack of data on child actors Proposed labor limits for minors Media focus on celebrity downfalls Challenges in reporting misconduct Fighting social anxiety at parties Shoving match and false predictions New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Richard Rushfield Has Power in Hollywood. Just Don’t Tell Him That.

  5. Jul 1

    We Fear Connection More Than Loss: Audience Q&A with Peaceful John

    For this episode of The Small Bow Podcast, my friend Peaceful John joins the show to answer some of your questions about recovery. It should be obvious pretty quickly why I call him Peaceful John. We talk about how to set boundaries with aging parents, how to avoid turning your grief into a weapon, how to care less, how to feel more… basically how to deal with your own sh*t. Thanks to everyone who wrote in (I may have snuck some questions in myself) and thanks to John for showing up and providing some answers. For this episode of The Small Bow Podcast, my friend Peaceful John joins the show to answer some of your questions about recovery. It should be obvious pretty quickly why I call him Peaceful John. We talk about how to set boundaries with aging parents, how to avoid turning your grief into a weapon, how to care less, how to feel more… basically how to deal with your own sh*t. Thanks to everyone who wrote in (I may have snuck some questions in myself) and thanks to John for showing up and providing some answers. Topics: 12-Step & Adult Child Recovery Healing Your Inner "A*****e" Honor Resentment Before Peace The Rescuer Complex Trap Detaching with Love vs. Malice Radical Acceptance: Naming Ugly Career Success & Self-Esteem Intimacy Is Most Terrifying When Grief Becomes a Weapon Aging, Dating & Sexual Honesty New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    We Fear Connection More Than Loss: Audience Q&A with Peaceful John

  6. Jun 24

    To Write a Book about Family, Mary H. K. Choi Had to First Look at Her Own

    Mary H. K. Choi stops by the show for our annual meeting of the dead dads club and a conversation about her new book Pool House. We discuss the major changes in Mary’s life that informed the writing of this book, including her autism diagnosis and the loss of her dad, and the ways that this round of self-promotion has led to new appreciation for her community. Plus, why 12-step is genius, why 20 year-olds are awesome and why Marilu Henner’s still got it. 00:00:00 Mary H.K. Choi and How TV shows get recovery wrong 00:04:15 Reconciling with a Ghost Dad 00:08:45 Road trips with ashes and heaven visions 00:13:10 The Hunted Gawker Era and new beginnings 00:17:35 The social cost of being an introvert 00:21:55 Selling a difficult book in a palatable world 00:26:25 Learning to endure the discomfort of being perceived 00:30:50 Catching the creative glide 00:35:15 12-step programs are like a life guidance counselor 00:39:40 Diagnosed with autism in my 40s 00:44:05 Reframing trauma as just catching strays 00:48:30 The revelations that come from Sleep Googling #MaryHKChoi #PoolHouse #LateAutismDiagnosis #AlAnonRecovery #TheSmallBow #SelfPromotion #HealingTrauma #PowerofIntroverts Topics: Social cost of book promotion How The Bear gets Al Anon wrong Reconciling with grief Late-life autism diagnosis impact Reframing trauma as catching strays Baggage as ballast for survival Forgiveness as death of the past 12-step as a life guidance counselor Processing the hunted Gawker era The honesty of sleep googling New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    To Write a Book about Family, Mary H. K. Choi Had to First Look at Her Own

  7. Jun 17

    Death, Sex and Recovery: A Conversation with Anna Sale

    Death, Sex and Money is where I go for a jolt of connection to something bigger than myself. Anna Sale hosts that show and is also the author of the book Let’s Talk About Hard Things. On this episode, we talk about the moment Anna realized she didn’t understand death nearly as much as she thought she did. We also get into the origins of Death, Sex and Money and the role that Anna’s visit to recovery rooms in Brooklyn played in her formulation of the show. Plus, how to find the perfect song for when your dad is dying and why we both love Jeff Hiller. 00:00:00 The Pursuit of Intense Human Connection & Anna Sale 00:03:58 AJ Inspired by Jeff Hiller’s Emmy Win 00:07:54 Transitioning from Reporter to Host of Death, Sex and Money 00:11:43 The Deep Need to Belong in Small Spaces 00:15:35 Finding Secret Church In Brooklyn Basements 00:19:16 Theory on Mortality and the Biological Clock 00:23:13 Surviving Childbirth and The Dashlane Password 00:27:17 Cinematic Moments and Songs for Final Goodbyes 00:31:19 Vulnerability on Stage vs Behind the Mic 00:35:15 The Art and Power of the Pause in Conversation 00:39:08 Navigating The High Stakes of Modern Parenthood 00:43:03 Relational Wisdom and the Path to Re-parenting #AnnaSale #DeathSexAndMoney #TheSmallBow #RecoveryJourney #ParentingTruths #InterviewingTips #MentalHealthAwareness #SobrietyStories #HumanConnection #FacingMortality Topics: The art of hard conversations The pursuit of connection Jeff Hiller's Emmy win The secret church in recovery The near-death childbirth story Facing mortality in your 30s The stakes of modern parenting Healing via reparenting New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Death, Sex and Recovery: A Conversation with Anna Sale

  8. Jun 10

    Ryan O'Connell on the Strange Sensation of Finally Being Seen

    Ryan O’Connell had an uncommon path to fame. After starting as a blogger in New York, he wrote a TV script about his life as a young, gay man with Cerebral Palsy. When the show was picked up by Netflix, the network insisted he star in it as well. Now that Special is in the rearview mirror, Ryan has gone back to his roots as a writer. He has a new book of essays out, called Inspiration Porn, which describes his life in Hollywood and the ways he has processed sudden and unexpected celebrity. Oh, and there’s a lot of sex in the book too. In this episode, we talk about intimacy, disability, addiction and the ways that Ryan and I have both felt ambivalent about the promise of “being seen.” Plus, we discuss Ryan’s sobriety, his impressive career confidence and the finer points of Herbie: Fully Loaded. 00:00:00 Ryan O’ Connell and a healthy dollop of delusion 00:04:09 Transitioning from writer to actor 00:08:18 Physical challenges of acting with disability 00:12:27 Getting sober without a traditional program 00:16:36 Professional confidence versus personal anxiety 00:20:45 Memories of the New York blog era 00:24:54 Comparing different forms of addiction 00:29:03 Working through intimacy in therapy 00:33:12 Tying self worth to productivity 00:37:21 Being strategic in the early blog career 00:41:30 Defining the voice of Thought Catalog 00:45:39 The struggle of promoting a personal memoir #RyanOConnell #InspirationPorn #Sobriety #DisabilityRepresentation #NetflixSpecial #AddictionRecovery #HollywoodIndustry #GayMecca #MentalHealth Topics: Writing the book Inspiration Porn Starring in the Netflix show Special Acting with cerebral palsy Visiting Provincetown as a gay mecca Overcoming Percocet and alcohol Sobriety outside of recovery programs Working in the NYC blog era Becoming a Hollywood showrunner Learning about intimacy in sobriety Tying self-worth to productivity New episodes release every Wednesday. ➡️ Subscribe to The Small Bow Podcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSmallBow?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Join The Small Bow Community: https://www.thesmallbow.com/ ➡️ Get the latest on The Small Bow: https://linktr.ee/THESMALLBOW ➡️ Download The Small Bow Podcast on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-small-bow-podcast/id1576208098

    Ryan O'Connell on the Strange Sensation of Finally Being Seen
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About

Welcome to the Small Bow Podcast. I’m your host, A.J. Daulerio. This is a show about expanding the definition of recovery, where we talk to writers, entertainers, recovering addicts, recovering jerks, and even the occasional normal person — about their struggles with love, sex, money, loneliness, shame, grief, drugs, alcohol, ego, identity, fame, and other fun things. Whatever is bringing you down, you might find something here that you didn’t know you needed. In addition to this podcast, the Small Bow is also a newsletter and recovery community that I started in 2018 to chronicle my own path toward sobriety and sanity following multiple rehab stints and a very public ordeal in which I was a co-defendant in Gawker's groundbreaking legal trial against professional wrestler Hulk Hogan for publishing a portion of his sex tape. A Florida jury voted in favor of Hogan and awarded him $115 million, which bankrupted the company and torched my former life. But out of the ashes of that ordeal grew the Small Bow. If you like what we do, consider subscribing to our newsletter and joining our community. We publish essays, interviews and other musings on recovery, and have online recovery support meetings seven days a week. Sign up for the Small Bow newsletter & community at: http://www.thesmallbow.com IG: @smallbowmedia

Information

  • Creator
    thesmallbow.com
  • Years Active
    2021 - 2026
  • Episodes
    82
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    2024 The Small Bow © Any use of this intellectual property for text and data mining or computational analysis including as training material for artificial intelligence systems is strictly prohibited without express written consent from The Small Bow
  • Show Website
    The Small Bow Podcast

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