46 episodes

Recognizing Potential is THE podcast to learn tips and information on how to build the marriage you want! Your host, Kameran Thompson Al-Areqi, is a certified relationship coach on a mission to help couples divorce proof their marriages by learning better communication, healthier conflict resolution techniques, more effective habits, and how to love your spouse with peace and generosity. Kameran is a pilot wife, boy mom, entrepreneur, coach and former teacher. She speaks into all of that and more every Monday morning.

Recognizing Potential Kameran Thompson Al-Areqi

    • Society & Culture
    • 5.0 • 5 Ratings

Recognizing Potential is THE podcast to learn tips and information on how to build the marriage you want! Your host, Kameran Thompson Al-Areqi, is a certified relationship coach on a mission to help couples divorce proof their marriages by learning better communication, healthier conflict resolution techniques, more effective habits, and how to love your spouse with peace and generosity. Kameran is a pilot wife, boy mom, entrepreneur, coach and former teacher. She speaks into all of that and more every Monday morning.

    Ep 45: Repairing After Conflict

    Ep 45: Repairing After Conflict

    I recently polled my instagram followers on whether they repaired after an argument or just moved on with or without an apology from either side. 76% of the votes said they just moved on. 

    The reason this is concerning is that the repair is the most important part of the argument and it's missing in the majority of marriages.

    So what is repairing and why is it important?
    Repairing is fostering the connection between you and your partner after the argument so there is less negativity, resentment and lingering feelings or unmet expectations. Every time you repair after conflict, you're laying another brick in the foundational elements that help you handle larger conflict down the road. You're bringing your marriage back together.

    How do we repair?
    After the argument when you've both calmed down, met your basic needs (sleep, water, food), are no longer in a defensive state and can listen to each other's point of view so you can understand, not just respond, you're ready to repair. 

    Come together to have a conversation about what happened. Using an I statement "I felt (emotion word) when (circumstance) because (why did it trigger you). I need _________ to move forward. 

    Using I statements helps you focus on you. This is important because every time there is a conflict, both parties have a hand in it. We can't change our partner, so we have to change our own behavior. If done correctly, it takes away criticism, blame and shame of your partner.

    After both sides have given their perspective, talk calmly about the disconnect that happened. Was it a miscommunication? Was there an assumption that was made (or many assumptions)? Apologize for your part in the disconnect and if possible, help your partner get the need met that they stated in their I statement. Forgive and move forward after both of you feel reconnected.

    Some things to keep in mind while going through this:

    The goal here is to approach this with a solution-oriented attitude.
    Communication is 58% body language, 35% tone and 7% words. Make sure your body language and your tone are sending the same message your words are.
    Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes this is harder than others, especially if you're dealing with a reoccurring cycle (in which case, I would suggest getting help). Remember that this is your partner who loves you, not your enemy and you're in this to understand and do things differently, not to judge and condemn.
    Take a break if needed but you must come back and try again later. This isn't going to be perfect every single time. My husband and I have started to repair many times only to find that we aren't as calm as we thought or one of us says something that triggers the other again and we have to come back later and repair both conflicts. 
    Disconnection is not caused by conflict. Conflict is caused by disconnection. The whole purpose of the repair is to bring that connection back together, not widen the gap. Keep things calm, low in tone, slow in process, and focus on building each other back up. There is no scorecard in connected marriages.

    Email: coaching@recognizingpotential.com

    IG: @divorce.proof.marriage

    Facebook: facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential

    • 27 min
    Ep 44: Creating Secure Attachments in Marriage and Parenting with Julie Mennano, LMFT

    Ep 44: Creating Secure Attachments in Marriage and Parenting with Julie Mennano, LMFT

    Julie Menanno is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor. Julie’s mission is to make the insights and practical skills she uses to treat couples in in her private practice more accessible to a wider population.

    Julie runs Bozeman Therapy and Counseling where she and a staff of therapists treat couples and individuals.

    Secure Love is Julie’s first book and is a guide to getting unstuck from a negative cycle and finding attachment security with your partner.

    In this episode, Julie and I talk all about anxious, avoidant and disorganized attachment styles. Julie gives advice and tips on how to:


    identify your attachment style
    recognize what's happening in a negative cycle
    overcome a negative cycle
    know what to do in the middle of a conflict 
    create secure attachments in your romantic relationships
    parent your children so you create secure attachments in them so they have more successful relationships later in life

    This episode is a must listen to if you're in a relationship romantically, a parent, a grandparent or plan on being in any kind of relationship in the future. 



    Important links: 

    Julie's IG: instagram.com/thesecurerelationship

    Julie's Patreon account: https://www.patreon.com/thesecurerelationship



    Kameran's IG: instagram.com/divorce.proof.marriage

    Kameran's Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential

    Link to monthly membership mentioned in ad: recognizingpotential.teachable.com/p/connected

    $10 off Amare mental wellness products: https://amare.com/g10/145624

    • 46 min
    Ep43: Spilling All the Tea with Dr. Lindsey Elmore

    Ep43: Spilling All the Tea with Dr. Lindsey Elmore

    Dr. Lindsey Elmore is an author, board certified pharmacotherapy specialist, pharmacist, yoga instructor, and podcast host of The Lindsey Elmore Show. 

    In this hour long episode, you'll absolutely want to have a pen and notebook at the ready as Dr. Elmore and I talk all about how to create a better marriage through self-awareness tools, using personality tests to understand yourself and your spouse in better ways. We talk about perspectives, share stories that will help you and discuss the 4B's for women and 4 L's for men. We talk about supplements to help couples have less cortisol, more serotonin, and better sex! The last 10 minutes of the podcast are where Dr. Elmore recommends packs and talks about individual supplements for certain things. If you listen to this episode and want to try the supplements she talks about, head over to this link to purchase for $10 off! https://amare.com/g10/145624

    Lindsey and I talk a lot about what's happening with relationships as it pertains to mental health, sexual dysfunctions like dryness, erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance, cortisol resistance, and so much more. We talk about how this is killing relationships alongside the lack of leadership, respect, love and communication techniques a good marriage takes to thrive. The book that Dr. Lindsey Elmore references is called Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzer and Emily Gregory and can be purchased on Amazon or anywhere you get your favorite books. I highly recommend this book as well! 

    • 59 min
    Ep 42: How Do I Save My Marriage?

    Ep 42: How Do I Save My Marriage?

    In this episode, I dig deep into some hard truths about saving your marriage. If you're looking for a place to start in changing the dynamic of your marriage, this is a great starting place. All of the advice that I give you are things I've done in my marriage or ideas I've given my clients and watched it work well in theirs. 

    Some of the topics I address in this podcast episode are decision and commitment, freedom, disrespect, anger, attitude, leadership in men, what it means to be the man of the house, respect, fight styles, taking responsibility for what you can control, and so much more! 

    At the time of this recording, I had one spot open immediately. That has filled and one spot starting in September has filled but I do still have one more spot for 1:1 couples coaching starting in September. You can email me with any questions- coaching@recognizingpotential.com



    You can also follow or tag me @divorce.proof.marriage on IG or Tiktok

    You can also join my free facebook coaching group at www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential

    • 35 min
    Flipping the Script on Popular Marriage Advice

    Flipping the Script on Popular Marriage Advice

    Today's episode is all about the popular marriage advice we get from all those who have gone before us. 

    When I got married the first time, I remember sitting in a circle while we passed around index cards and ladies wrote their best advice on the cards. So many pieces of advice were fantastic. So many of them weren't. So we're going to dive into a few of those "common pieces of marriage advice".

    1. "Never go to bed angry."

    2. Marriage is 50/50

    3. "Stay together for the children."

    4. "Just pray about it."

    5. "Passion fades over time."

    6. Communicate

    7. Offering hope as a strategy. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better.”

    8. Just get divorced/you deserve better. 

    9. What they don’t know won’t hurt ‘em.

    10. If you disagree and argue a lot, you’re probably just not compatible anymore. 



    Any of these sound familiar? If so, you've probably been given some bad advice. Find out how to flip that script or the mindset around that advice to make it applicable to your marriage. As always, if you have questions, want to work with me or collaborate, email me at coaching@recognizingpotential.com



    Also make sure you're following me on instagram @divorce.proof.marriage and in my facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential.com

    • 33 min
    Ep 40: Love Languages Explained

    Ep 40: Love Languages Explained

    Of course you've heard about love languages. Who hasn't? But in this episode, I'm breaking each of the love languages down one by one on how to speak them and what to avoid because it hurts the person with that love language more so than those without it. Did you also know that kids have certain love languages? They absolutely do and it's one of the reasons we may not have felt loved as a child because we didn't get our love languages spoken. Dr. Gary Chapman came out with the research and a few books on the Love Languages. If you need to find out your love language, head on over to his website where you and your partner can each take a quiz to find out which is your primary and your secondary love languages. 

    https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language

    Then come right back here to hear all about yours and your partner's! 

    The love languages are all discussed in the episode in this order: 

    Acts of Service

    Words of Affirmation

    Physical Touch

    Gifts

    Quality Time

    I would recommend taking notes on your love languages as well as your partner's for easy reference in the future. Need more info but pressed for time, head over to my IG and read all about the love languages @divorce.proof.marriage or you can find the info in my private facebook coaching group www.facebook.com/groups/recognizingpotential

    • 58 min

Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5
5 Ratings

5 Ratings

looooooofroooooo ,

Feeling empowered

I’m someone that loves podcasts. I usually have a hard time listening to single person pods, but I LOVED this one and had no problems at all. After listening to one episode I felt so motivated to make changes in my life that will make me happier and fulfill my highest self.

Top Podcasts In Society & Culture

iHeartPodcasts
This American Life
American Public Media
WNYC Studios
Michael Hobbes & Peter Shamshiri
Glennon Doyle & Cadence13