Recovering Us

Sandra and Dan
  • 5.0 (3)
  • RELATIONSHIPS
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"Recovering Us" offers hope and support to couples who struggle to have a healthy and happy relationship but who want to repair and remain together. Recovering Us is for all couples experiencing problems in communication, intimacy and resolving conflict, especially those affected by betrayal, addictions, abuse and trauma.

Episodes

  1. 12/01/2025

    Navigating Relationship Challenges

    The conversation explores the challenges faced in relationships, particularly during times of stress and uncertainty. It highlights the importance of communication and support systems, such as marriage encounter programs, in navigating these difficulties. The speaker shares personal experiences of addressing fears related to economic security and parenting while in professional training, emphasizing the role of emotional expression in strengthening relationships. Takeaways Bickering can escalate during challenging times. Economic security fears can impact relationships. Marriage encounter programs can provide essential support. Learning to communicate feelings is crucial. 'Love letters' can help express emotions effectively. Sharing experiences can strengthen bonds. Safe environments foster open communication. Addressing fears together can enhance relationships. Professional training adds stress to parenting. Emotional expression is key to relationship health. Sound bites "Bickering was really at the highest" "Marriage encounter as an initial buoy" "Develop what they call love letters"

    40 min

  2. 11/24/2025

    Navigating Coupleship Dysfunction

    In this episode of the Recovering Us podcast, hosts Sandra and Dan explore the complexities of coupleship dysfunction and the journey towards recovery. They discuss various characteristics of dysfunctional couples, emphasizing the importance of communication, interdependence, and emotional safety. The conversation highlights the significance of asking for needs, exploring intimacy beyond sex, and facing problems together as a couple. They also touch on the importance of playfulness, expressing true feelings, and accepting individual responsibilities in a relationship. The episode concludes with reflections on breaking family patterns of dysfunction and the positive changes that can arise from understanding and addressing these issues. Takeaways The podcast aims to help couples affected by addiction and trauma. Dysfunction is common in coupleships, leading to the need for recovery. Open communication fosters intimacy and empathy in relationships. Interdependence strengthens coupleships, while enmeshment can be harmful. It's important to ask for needs to be met in a relationship. Intimacy can be expressed in many ways beyond sexual connection. Facing problems together is crucial for relationship health. Rediscovering playfulness can enhance joy in relationships. Accepting individual responsibilities reduces blame and conflict. Effective conflict resolution is key to a healthy coupleship. Sound bites "We are a recovering couple." "It's acceptable to ask what we need." "We've forgotten how to play together." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Recovering Us Podcast 01:58 Understanding Dysfunction in Coupleships 03:58 Characteristics of Dysfunctional vs. Functional Couples 09:55 Self-Medication and Emotional Expression 12:57 Interdependence vs. Codependence in Relationships 15:52 The Importance of Asking for Needs 22:51 Intimacy Beyond Sexuality 27:56 Facing Problems Together as a Team 32:53 Rediscovering Playfulness in Relationships 36:04 Expressing True Feelings 37:44 Taking Responsibility in Conflict 40:57 Healthy Conflict Resolution 42:03 Breaking Family Patterns of Dysfunction

    47 min

  3. 11/17/2025

    The Power of Full Commitment

    The conversation explores the importance of bringing one's full self to relationships, emphasizing personal responsibility and self-regulation. It discusses how shifting from a mindset of shared percentages to full commitment can enhance relationship dynamics. Takeaways We each bring our full 100% to relationships. The notion of bringing 50% can lead to blame. Taking responsibility for our contributions is crucial. Self-regulation is key to healthy interactions. Compassionate treatment of partners enhances relationships. Shifting perspectives can lead to valuable changes. Constructive communication is essential. Personal work is necessary for relationship growth.\ Understanding each other's contributions fosters connection. Full commitment leads to better relationship outcomes. Sound bites "I bring my full 100% to the relationship." "I had the notion that I bring my 50%." "Treat my partner as compassionately as I can." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Recovering Us Podcast 01:03 Shifting Perspectives in Relationships

    21 min

  4. 11/10/2025

    Building Bridges: The Power of Safe Communication

    In this episode of the Recovering Us Podcast, hosts Sandra and Dan discuss the importance of safe communication in relationships, particularly for couples affected by addiction, dysfunction, and trauma. They share their experiences and tools for creating a safe space for dialogue, emphasizing the need for agreements that outline respectful communication practices. The episode covers identifying dysfunctional communication patterns, developing a communication agreement, and the importance of implementing and using these agreements effectively. The hosts also address challenges that may arise when trying to adhere to these agreements, offering insights on how to navigate difficulties in communication. Takeaways Safe communication is essential for a healthy relationship. Creating agreements helps establish a safe space for dialogue. Informed consent is crucial in communication. Dysfunctional communication patterns can harm relationships. Using 'we' language fosters collaboration in problem-solving. Agreements should be written and signed for accountability. Regularly revisiting agreements can reinforce their effectiveness. Ending conversations with appreciation promotes positivity. It's important to address challenges when agreements aren't working. No one is perfect; it's okay to ask for do-overs.  Sound bites "We deserve to have informed consent." "We are allies on the same team." "It only works if we use it." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Recovering Us Podcast 01:00 The Importance of Safe Communication 08:55 Creating Agreements for Healthy Communication 25:58 Implementing and Using Communication Agreements 42:55 Addressing Challenges with Agreements

    48 min

  5. 11/03/2025

    The Need for Safety in Couples Recovery

    In this episode of Recovering Us, hosts Sandra and Dan discuss the foundational safety guidelines that have significantly impacted their relationship. They explore the importance of creating a safe environment for vulnerability and intimacy, the inevitability of mistakes in relationships, and the necessity of respectful conflict resolution. The conversation emphasizes the significance of recognizing and expressing needs, maintaining self-respect, and the role of anonymity in fostering a healthy coupleship. Through their personal experiences, they illustrate how these guidelines can transform relationships and promote emotional safety. Takeaways Safety guidelines have transformed our relationship. Creating safety is essential for vulnerability and intimacy. It's okay to feel and express emotions in a relationship. Mistakes are inevitable; how we handle them matters. Respectful conflict is crucial for growth as a couple. Recognizing and asking for needs is important. Self-respect helps avoid self-pity and negative feelings. Anonymity fosters a safe space for sharing. Mutual respect is foundational in conflict resolution. The tools from RCA can benefit any couple seeking improvement. Sound Bites "It's okay to have needs and ask for them." "Anonymity is our spiritual foundation." "We learned to have respectful conflict." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Safety Guidelines in Couples Recovery 03:02 Understanding the Safety Guidelines 07:43 The Importance of Vulnerability and Feelings 14:48 Navigating Mistakes and Respectful Conflict 19:02 The Dynamics of Respectful Conflict 28:13 Recognizing Needs and Self-Respect 33:02 The Role of Anonymity in Relationships 38:17 Conclusion and Reflection on the Journey

    39 min

  6. 10/27/2025

    The Power of Quick Repairs in Relationships

    In this episode of the Recovering Us podcast, hosts Sandra and Dan discuss the concept of quick repairs in relationships, particularly for couples affected by addiction, dysfunction, and trauma. They explore how small, unskillful moments can accumulate and impact relationships, and introduce a tool for making quick repairs to restore connection and understanding. Through personal examples, they illustrate the importance of recognizing mistakes, taking accountability, and appreciating each other to strengthen their emotional bond. The episode emphasizes the significance of communication and the benefits of practicing quick repairs regularly to enhance relationship dynamics. Takeaways Quick repairs are essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Unskillful moments can accumulate and affect emotional well-being. Personality traits influence how we interact and make mistakes. It's important to recognize and take accountability for our actions. Quick repairs can help restore connection after misunderstandings. Communication is key in addressing small issues before they escalate. Appreciation plays a vital role in the quick repair process. Practicing quick repairs can enhance emotional intimacy. Mistakes are a natural part of being human and in relationships. Regular practice of quick repairs can improve relationship dynamics. Sound bites "We all do unskillful things." "It's okay to make mistakes." "There's no discussion afterwards." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Recovering Us Podcast 00:58 Understanding Quick Repairs in Relationships 05:57 Personality Traits and Their Impact on Relationships 10:45 Examples of Quick Repairs in Action 18:48 Breaking Down the Quick Repair Process 23:49 The Benefits of Quick Repairs for Couples 26:46 Conclusion and Encouragement for Listeners

    29 min

  7. 10/20/2025

    Navigating Conflict with the Mirroring Dialogue

    In this episode of 'Recovering Us', hosts Sandra and Dan discuss the mirroring dialogue tool, a technique they use to improve communication and resolve conflicts in their relationship. They share personal anecdotes, particularly around driving, to illustrate how misunderstandings can arise and how the mirroring dialogue helps them navigate these challenges. The conversation emphasizes the importance of listening, understanding each other's perspectives, and maintaining emotional safety in relationships. Takeaways The mirroring dialogue is a tool for improving communication. Conflict often arises from misunderstandings and different perspectives. Using 'I' statements helps to express feelings without blaming. Scheduling conversations about conflicts can lead to better outcomes. Listening actively is crucial for effective communication. Practicing the mirroring dialogue can strengthen relationships. Emotional safety is key in resolving conflicts. It's important to validate each other's feelings during discussions. The goal is to feel connected, not to win arguments. Regular practice of communication techniques leads to improvement. Sound Bites "We have different driving styles." "We are allies on the same team." "I think it would be really helpful." Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Evergreen Content 01:40 Understanding the Mirroring Dialogue Tool 05:33 Conflict in Driving: A Case Study 11:16 Implementing the Mirroring Dialogue in Real Situations 17:04 Reflecting on the Mirroring Dialogue Experience 31:32 The Importance of Listening and Communication Techniques

    37 min

  8. 10/10/2025

    Our Story: How we went from struggling to strong!

    The conversation emphasizes the significance of mutual support in relationships, highlighting that issues faced by one partner should be recognized as collective problems that need to be addressed together. This approach fosters emotional safety and strengthens the bond between partners. Takeaways A problem for one partner is a problem for the relationship. Mutual support is essential for a healthy relationship. Both partners should take each other's concerns seriously. Emotional safety is crucial in addressing relationship issues. Communication is key to resolving conflicts together. Recognizing each other's feelings fosters a stronger bond. Allies in a relationship should work together on problems. Addressing discomfort is a shared responsibility. Healthy relationships require open dialogue about issues. Game-changing moments can redefine relationship dynamics. Sound bites "A problem for our relationship" "We're allies on the same team" "That's a problem for our relationship to deal with" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Recovering Us Podcast 00:02 The Importance of Empathy in Relationships 00:45 Tools for Effective Communication

    37 min

  9. TRAILER

    Welcome to Recovering Us

    Welcome to Recovering Us

    1 min

Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

"Recovering Us" offers hope and support to couples who struggle to have a healthy and happy relationship but who want to repair and remain together. Recovering Us is for all couples experiencing problems in communication, intimacy and resolving conflict, especially those affected by betrayal, addictions, abuse and trauma.

Information

  • Creator
    Sandra and Dan
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Sandra Shachar, PhD
  • Show Website
    Recovering Us