Reframing Me Dr. Jennifer Brubaker

Sometimes it’s almost as if your teens didn’t see your parenting vision board, isn’t it? What happens when they deviate from the plan? This isn’t how it was supposed to be. This isn’t how I planned or what I thought.
Delve into a thought-provoking exploration of the challenges and complexities associated with deviating from societal and familial canonical storylines. Let’s have a conversation about how social norms and values use canonical stories to shape our understanding of the world and our place within it. Unpack the significance of embracing individuality while navigating the rigid structures imposed by canonical narratives, and reflect on the ways in which these narratives influence our perceptions of self and others.
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Our discontent often comes from our desire to control the situation and to predict the outcome. Acceptance that we can’t do that can be a huge relief and an opportunity to move forward. Maybe it’s not from where you want to be, but it’s from where you are. What would happen if instead of putting that positive or negative frame around it, you just accepted it?
But we have spent so many years carrying the mental load and trying to keep so many balls in the air and so many aspects of various people’s lives under control, so it becomes a lot harder to accept things that you cannot control. 
Much of our anger, frustration, sadness, and loneliness – much of our suffering - is created out of our desire to control or change things. Most of these situations don’t come with the emotion – we attach the positive or negative to it. What if instead we just accepted it and found peace?
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Thank you for being here - for listening and being a part of this community! Our teens are faced with decisions every day, and because our families are a social system, we all feel the weight of these decisions. It's three days before college decisions are due, and my son still hasn't made one. This inspired me to create a fun, theoretically-based decision-making activity for him (and you and your teens!). Join In this insightful discussion, where the focus is on decision-making and how the Theory of Reasoned Action can guide individuals, especially teens, in making informed choices. The theory explores the relationship between attitudes, subjective norms, and behavioral intentions when faced with decisions. By understanding how our beliefs and social influences shape our behaviors, individuals can better navigate important decisions like choosing a college. The discussion also touches on practical examples, such as underage drinking, academic performance, and the impact of attitudes and subjective norms on behavior. Through a structured approach that considers internal preferences and external influences, individuals can weigh options, assess social pressures, and align decisions with personal values. The theory offers a systematic framework for decision-making, allowing for a thoughtful evaluation of choices and informed decision-making processes.
Thank you for listening and being part of this community! Let's get social. Follow me on Facebook, on Twitter @reframing_me, on Instagram @reframingme and on TikTok @reframingme
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You need to be present to fully experience life’s beauty and meaning. This moment right now, is the only one you can experience now, and the only one you have for sure. How might your life be different if you saw more aspects of your life as a practice? What areas would benefit if you looked at them through the lens of practice?
When we see something as being a practice, we recognize it as a continuous journey – not as a final destination. It’s not a puzzle that we solve, a game that we win. There’s not a finish line we cross. Instead it’s a continuous experience. Viewing our lives as a practice implies a continuous journey full of growth, learning, and improvement, and we can focus on the process, not just attaining an end result. When you can see life through this mindset, it can bring positive changes in so many areas. We'll have a conversation about five of those areas. 
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Well, well, well - here we are again. The end of another sports season, and for many seniors - and senior parents - this is the finish line. For us, my senior wraps ups his fourth track season, and it's hitting me harder than I expected. Join me as we revisit the end of sports grief for parents, the end of sports loss and confusion for our athletes, and ambiguous loss.
When your kids are involved in an activity that becomes consuming of your time, energy, and money, and when we find ourselves on the sideline or in the stands or seats watching day after day, week after week, year after year, there comes a point when it all ends. For many, senior year is that end. But for some, it happens sooner, whether they don’t make the team or grow out of love with the sport or activity and just decide they are done – but wait! You might say – but what if I’m not done? 
It’s the end of a chapter. There is a loss – a sense of grief – it’s the loss of an activity – of a group of people you’ve grown to feel a community with – the loss of something that you share with your child.
It's ok to feel sad. It’s ok for us to look back and reflect. It just won’t be the same. And it’s ok to mourn that end – mourn the loss. 
We may feel an ambiguous loss. At its core, ambiguous loss is about a lack of resolution. The loss of what could have or should have been. The loss of someone or something as it was. 
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If you needed to choose between optimism and pessimism? Between beautiful or ugly? Between peace or angst? Which would you choose? Which stories do you want to cling to?
Given the option, we choose the more positive of the outcomes when we have no other information. And yet, every single day,  we choose to cling to the bad. 
But what if we didn’t do this? What if instead we realized that we can control so much of our lives  and so much of our world around us simply because we control our thoughts.and our perceptions. We make things as they are simply because we’ve already decided in our heads that’s how they are.
We can’t control the world – we can’t take away all of the negative. But by only focusing on the negative, we can take away all of the positive. So instead, let’s just start by clinging to the good. Assuming the best. Jumping to the best possible scenario instead of the worst. Choose your own adventure, and choose the good. 
 
 
Thank you for listening and being part of this community! Let's get social. Follow me on Facebook, on Twitter @reframing_me, on Instagram @reframingme and on TikTok @reframingme
I hope you enjoyed the episode! Please leave a review, catch up on any missed episodes, and be sure to follow the show, so you don't miss new content!