Resource Yourself

Sefora Ray

The Resource Yourself podcast is the place where people come to resource themselves—emotionally, mentally, and relationally—so they can create relationships, a life and a world that feel more secure, connected, and alive. Whether it’s attachment styles, attachment healing, love, boundaries, self-worth, or nervous system regulation, Sefora Janel Ray breaks down the science and the soul of what it takes to feel resourced from the inside out. With deep insights, real talk, and practical tools, she helps listeners stop running on empty and start showing up—fully, powerfully, and with the capacity to build not just better relationships, but a better world. Because when people have the right resources, they don’t just heal themselves—they help heal the collective.

  1. Going From Grinch to Whovian, A Daily Practice: Yuletide Bonus 03

    12/23/2025 · BONUS

    Going From Grinch to Whovian, A Daily Practice: Yuletide Bonus 03

    From Grinch to Whovian, A daily practice In this Yuletide Renewal bonus episode, we explore the real spirit of Christmas… not the sparkly, Hallmark version, but the deeper story we keep telling every year for a reason. Whether it’s the Grinch, Scrooge, George Bailey, or that familiar holiday rom-com plot, these stories aren’t actually about Christmas at all. They’re about what happens when a heart closes… and what happens when it slowly, imperfectly, opens again. This episode is a reflection on armoring, exhaustion, disappointment, and the very human rhythm of opening and closing that lives inside all of us. It’s about recognizing that becoming open-hearted isn’t a one-time transformation. It’s a daily practice. Sometimes an hourly one. Sometimes it happens after one email, one traffic light, or one awkward family moment involving fart jokes at the dinner table. We talk about: • Why closed hearts aren’t broken… they’re protected • The difference between cheer and love • How resourcing yourself makes it possible to soften again • Why the miracle isn’t staying open, but reopening • The deeper meaning behind the Christmas and Christian stories when you strip away the moral pressure At its core, this episode is about secure attachment at a human level… learning that love doesn’t disappear when you shut down, that belonging isn’t something you earn, and that you’re allowed to come back again and again. You don’t have to be open all the time to be loving. You don’t have to stay soft to be good. You just have to be willing to let your heart open again when it’s ready… even a little. That’s the miracle these stories keep pointing to. And maybe that’s why we keep returning to them. For more support and to further this work, check out www.therapytothrive.com

    12 min
  2. Held By Life Visualization: Yuletide Bonus 02

    12/23/2025 · BONUS

    Held By Life Visualization: Yuletide Bonus 02

    Held by Life Visualization: Yuletide Bonus #2 In this special Yuletide bonus episode, we rest together inside a gentle hypnotic experience designed to calm your nervous system and soften the ache of aloneness. You’re guided into an image of floating in a warm, velvety darkness… not an empty or scary dark, but the kind that holds you, like a womb before creation begins. This episode is about remembering. Remembering that you belong. Remembering that you are not separate from life, breath, or love. Remembering that you don’t have to strive, fix, or effort your way into safety. Through slow breathing, imagery, and deep stillness, your body is invited to experience what secure attachment feels like at its most fundamental level… being held without asking, supported without earning, connected without chasing. This is especially supportive if this season feels quiet, heavy, uncertain, or emotionally tender. There is nothing to do perfectly here. Just listen. Just float. Just receive. Come rest in the dark long enough for your nervous system to learn something new… that stillness can be loving, that darkness can be safe, and that you have never been outside of love.     Want more support? If this episode stirred something tender, or reminded you how much support actually matters, you don’t have to hold it alone. I offer therapy, coaching, and attachment-based support to help you move out of insecure attachment patterns and into relationships that feel steady, mutual, and nourishing. You can explore ways to work together and find the support that fits you at 👉 www.therapytothrive.com  You’re allowed to be held… and you’re allowed to get help doing that. 💛

    11 min
  3. When You’re Here, But Want to Be There: Yuletide Bonus 01

    12/21/2025 · BONUS

    When You’re Here, But Want to Be There: Yuletide Bonus 01

    When You’re Here, But Want to Be There: When the Light Has Begun, But You Can’t Feel It Yet Episode Summary In this Day Two bonus episode of the Yuletide Renewal, we meet the day just after the Winter Solstice — the moment when the light has technically begun to return, even though it still feels very dark. In this reflection, Sefora shares honestly about her own relationship with winter, longing for warmth, sunlight, and the ease of summer, and how the Solstice offers a gentle reminder that movement toward the light has already begun, even when we can’t feel it yet. This episode explores the universal experience of being “here” while wanting to be “there” — whether that’s longing for a different season, a relationship you haven’t found yet, a different level of abundance, or a world that feels more aligned with your values. Through an ancient Hindu creation story — later shared widely by Alan Watts — Sefora introduces the idea of life as divine play: a cosmic game of hide and seek where separation, time, and longing are part of the experience, not a mistake. Awakening, in this view, isn’t escaping life, but remembering who you are while still playing the game. Weaving in wisdom from Rumi and contemplative reflection, this episode invites you to soften the belief that “there” is better than “here,” and to consider that the tension of waiting, wanting, and becoming may be part of the sacred design. A gentle reminder for the winter season — and for life — that you are not behind, not broken, and not separate… just in the middle of the game. For more grounding resources, reflections, and support, visit: 👉 www.therapytothrive.com

    10 min
  4. Letting the Dark Hold You on The Solstice, Yule Resourcing 00

    12/20/2025

    Letting the Dark Hold You on The Solstice, Yule Resourcing 00

    Letting the Dark Hold You on The Solstice, Yule Resourcing 01 On the Solstice, Rest, and Being Held by Life Episode Notes Today is the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. The turning point where the light begins to return… even if we can’t feel it yet. In this episode, we pause. Not to fix. Not to set intentions. Not to rush ourselves forward. But to be. For many people, this time of year can feel heavy. The darkness, the slowing down, the quiet — it can stir loneliness, uncertainty, or a low-grade sadness that’s hard to name. Rather than pushing past it, this episode invites you to stay. Through ancient creation stories from cultures across the world — Egyptian, Hindu, Taoist, Māori, Hebrew, Greek, Indigenous North American, Norse, and earth-based traditions — we remember something essential: Creation did not begin with light. It began in darkness. In being held. Across time and place, humans have told the same story in different ways: that the dark is not emptiness, but fertile ground. Not abandonment, but togetherness. Not an ending, but a beginning that has not yet taken form. This episode is an invitation to soften your edges, to let go of needing clarity right now, and to rest inside the mystery — trusting that life knows how to hold you, even here. If this season feels unfinished, unclear, or tender for you, there is nothing wrong. You are standing in the same place humans have stood for thousands of years — waiting, listening, belonging. In This Episode, We Explore Why the Solstice has always been a sacred pause point across cultures How ancient creation stories understood darkness as fertile, protective, and alive What it means to “remember” — not as thinking, but as returning to belonging How modern life has lost its relationship with rest, darkness, and waiting A gentle resourcing practice for letting yourself be held rather than fixed A Gentle Invitation If it feels supportive, you might let this episode accompany you into a quiet moment — a bath by candlelight, a pause before sleep, or a walk where you let yourself be with the season rather than trying to move through it. This season may not be asking you to do more. It may simply be asking you to gather yourself back. Continue Resourcing Yourself If this episode resonates and you’re looking for more grounding, reflection, and emotional support, you can explore free resources and deeper work here: 🌿 Learn more about my work and offerings: https://therapytothrive.com  🌿 Explore free resources, reflections, and support: https://therapytothrive.com/resources  🌿 Take the attachment-informed quiz and receive personalized insight: https://therapytothrive.com/quiz  🌿 Browse past podcast episodes: https://therapytothrive.com/podcast  A Gift Forward I’ll be sharing bonus episodes through the Yule tide as a holiday gift. If this episode supported you, please feel free to share it with someone who might need a place to rest, too. You don’t have to rush toward the light. For now, you’re allowed to rest inside the beginning. I’ll see you in the next episode.

    14 min
  5. There is ALWAYS a solution

    12/12/2025

    There is ALWAYS a solution

    Welcome to Season 2 of the Resource Yourself Podcast. In this episode, I reintroduce myself and the deeper intention behind this work — not just attachment healing in relationships, but learning how to live from the felt sense that you are supported by life itself. I share my personal path through anxious–avoidant relationship dynamics, decades of personal growth work, advanced attachment training, and the breakthroughs that changed everything — not only in love, but in how I relate to life, support, and creation. This episode is about why secure attachment is ultimately about trusting that your needs can be met — by people, by systems, and by life — and how healing attachment wounds restores your capacity to receive support instead of feeling like you have to do everything alone. In This Episode, We Explore: What secure attachment actually means beyond dating and relationships How anxious and avoidant attachment patterns create a felt sense of being alone in life Why attachment healing is about learning to trust support again The connection between attachment wounds and your relationship with life, love, and meaning How nervous system safety allows life to feel easier, more guided, and more supportive Why gratitude practices work — and what they’re really helping you access How healing the “detached self” changes everything My Story & Background: Clinically trained psychotherapist with over 15,000 hours studying couples and attachment styles Attachment coach and attachment-based EMDR therapist Over three decades navigating anxious–avoidant relationship dynamics Personal experience with infertility, partnership, parenting, and building community Living in an eco village centered on shared support, connection, and care Core Message of This Episode: Secure attachment is not just about having a healthy romantic relationship. It’s about restoring your trust that: You are not alone Your needs are not too much Support exists There is always a solution, a resource, or a structure that can help When attachment wounds heal, life itself begins to feel like a partner instead of an opponent. This Episode Is For You If: You identify with anxious attachment or avoidant patterns You feel like you have to do everything by yourself You’ve done a lot of personal growth but still feel unsupported You want relationships — and a life — that feel secure, steady, and resourced You want to experience love, work, and purpose from a place of support instead of struggle Resources: Learn more about my work, programs, and free resources at: 👉 https://www.therapytothrive.com If this episode supported you, consider sharing it with someone who needs a reminder that they are not broken — and that help is available.

    14 min
  6. Boundaries Like a Bad A**

    05/10/2025

    Boundaries Like a Bad A**

    💬 Episode Summary: If the word boundary makes your nervous system flinch a little — this episode is for you. In today’s conversation, Sefora shares why most people (especially anxious attachers) confuse complaints with boundaries, and how that confusion can keep you stuck in protest mode, overgiving, or saying what you don’t want… without ever clearly naming what you do. You’ll learn why true boundaries are sacred invitations — not walls, not ultimatums — and how to set them from a place of clarity, desire, and self-respect. From romantic relationships to the chaos of divisive politics, this episode explores: Why anxious attachers often struggle to follow through on consequences What it really means to say “I need” or “I have to have” (before you’re in a spiral) The difference between punishment and inviting people into the love you’re creating How to stop people-pleasing without swinging into defensiveness or disconnection The feast metaphor that will change how you think about boundaries forever What it means to set a boundary in your personal life, your politics, and your presence in the world If you’ve ever wondered how to be clear without being harsh, or how to protect your peace without cutting people off in anger — this one is for you. ✨ Boundaries rooted in love are possible. ✨ And the people who want what you’re creating will pull up a chair. —   For more Resources or info on how to be secure in relationship goto www.therapytothrive.com

    18 min

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
7 Ratings

About

The Resource Yourself podcast is the place where people come to resource themselves—emotionally, mentally, and relationally—so they can create relationships, a life and a world that feel more secure, connected, and alive. Whether it’s attachment styles, attachment healing, love, boundaries, self-worth, or nervous system regulation, Sefora Janel Ray breaks down the science and the soul of what it takes to feel resourced from the inside out. With deep insights, real talk, and practical tools, she helps listeners stop running on empty and start showing up—fully, powerfully, and with the capacity to build not just better relationships, but a better world. Because when people have the right resources, they don’t just heal themselves—they help heal the collective.