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499 episodes
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Ross O'Carroll-Kelly The Irish Times
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- Comedy
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4.8 • 36 Ratings
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The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Honor has picked a theme for her year as Mount Anville head girl: ‘Vengeance’
I’ve never been one of those parents. You know the kind I’m talking about. Their kid does a poo for the first time sitting on a toilet and they’re taking out an ad in The Irish Times to announce the news. It’s genuinely rare that I find myself in a position to say – like I did on Friday – that I’m proud of one of my children. Honor has now completed exactly half of her community service hours for vandalising hundreds of SUVs across south Dublin. I know it’s a low bor that I’ve set for her, but here we are.
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‘Protestants are not that much different from us. I mean, they’re definitely less craic, but they get sh*t done’
I’m not usually one of those, what I like to call Flat White Wankers, but that’s what I’m drinking this morning, sitting outside the Happy Out Café on the seafront in Dún Laoghaire.
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‘What’s on offer,’ she goes, smiling, ‘is eternal life,’ and I do believe she’s flirting
Leo is the first of us to get restless. He goes, “Oh my God, this is so boring!” and this is in the middle of the Protestant equivalent of, like, Mass?
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‘Ross, it’s not just a case of filling out a form and – hey, presto – you’re a Protestant’
If getting Brian, Johnny and Leo into a new school means changing my religion and getting up on Sunday mornings, then I’ll do it
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Honor goes, ‘I was into Taylor Swift before, like, anyone?’
Christian is sitting at our usual table in 3fe on Sussex Terrace and I can tell instantly that something is up. When you’ve played ten to someone’s twelve, you can have no secrets from each other. Fact of rugby, fact of life.
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Sorcha goes, ‘You had an erotic dream – about my mom?’
So I’m in the cor with Sorcha and we’re on the way to Clonskeagh to collect Brian, Johnny and Leo from school. Yeah, no, they’re finishing up today and we’re bringing them out for lunch to say fair focks to them for going another year without being expelled. Like most south Dublin parents, we set a very low bor for our children.
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Customer Reviews
Fantastic
I wish it was longer. Makes me laugh out loud which is extremely difficult to do.
Garbage
This guys annoying