Rude Roundtable

Purdy, Gav, John & Ted
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  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

Step up to the Rude Roundtable. unfiltered, hilariously offensive, and entirely off the rails, this is the ultimate no-holds-barred conversation with your funniest mates. Whether dissecting medical miracles, roasting each other's lifestyle choices, or solving the nation's problems with sheer nonsense, no topic is off-limits and no feelings are spared. If you like your comedy crude, your banter sharp, and your topics completely unpredictable, pull up a seat and brace yourself.

  1. Aug 8

    106 - Wish You Were Here

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insta https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Episode Summary (Or: Post-booze depression, human barbecues, and bacon joints.) Hangover Regrets: John opens the show suffering from post-drinking remorse, complaining that hangovers turns him into a miserable c**t while being mocked for having the social battery of a dead phone unless he's utterly plastered.Morbid Coffin Pranks: The gang turns to death, debating burning £50k coffins out of pure spite for their heirs, setting up a "human barbecue" over a urinal trough, and installing fake screaming audio tracks inside their caskets to terrify mourners.Bacon Brainstorms: A brief detour into anti-aging science morphs into a tick conspiracy theory, prompting an idiot-brainstorm to invent bacon-flavored vape juice and bacon-skin joints—only to discover degenerate Americans already beat them to it.Ancient Roman Plumbing: Shocked to learn ancient Romans had working toilets while 19th-century Londoners were still chucking buckets of shit out the window, the crew concludes history is a lie and aliens definitely built the past.War Drones & Superhero Rants: After casually watching horrifying suicide-drone footage from Ukraine, the hosts immediately pivot to praising the hyper-violent cartoon Invincible and arguing over whether superheroes look weak when they works as part of a team.#PodcastBanter #HangoverRegrets #DarkHumour #BaconInventions #AncientHistory #RomanPlumbing #AlienConspiracies #Invincible #PopCulture #PubTalk

  2. Aug 5

    105 - Unsafe Space (Alco-John Returns)

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Here is a condensed, snarky breakdown of the madness: Episode Summary (Or: Drunken Freemasons, zero-G ejaculation, and three days of trapped shit.) Freemason Hacks: Drinking Tango-Orange vodka, the hosts kick off by revealing one of them quit his Freemason lodge but still has total access to their atrocious website, planning solo mirror-rituals and back-garden goat sacrifices.Spider-Vaginas & Anime Cat Girls: A quick debate on 90s sci-fi movies spirals into graphic descriptions of anime monsters with razor-toothed genital spiders, culminating in a casual admission of a fondness for anime cat girls.Three-Day Constipation: The gang freaks out over a host's three-day lack of bowel movements—warning him of "poo poisoning" and gooch-ripping "scratchy-poos"—before nostalgically reflecting on crop-dusting Tesco shoppers during lockdown.Post-COVID Rants: The crew devolves into peak conspiracy banter, blaming vaccines for everything from burning bones and sleep apnea to losing the basic human ability to speak.Space-Wanks & Tattoo Tic-Tac-Toe: The episode wraps up with dream jobs (becoming an astronaut solely to ejaculate in zero-gravity over a sleeping peer), a drunken plan to play leg-tattoo Tic-Tac-Toe with non-dominant hands, and a magical neck-curing reclining sofa.

  3. Jul 23

    104 - Foxy Business

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Episode Summary (Or: Goth daughters, AI data centers, and ancient Roman plumbing.) Goth Kids & Rock 'n' Roll: The hosts catch up after a few weeks off, admiring a daughter’s transformation into a platform-boot-wearing goth who is mastering Nirvana and Oasis chords on a borrowed Telecaster.AI Overlords & Tattoo Artistry: The conversation turns to AI, where the crew defends using tech like ChatGPT for boring corporate policies and social media automation, while lamenting how it's killing the artistry in music and video games.Pooing Foxes & Water Wars: After laughing over local foxes that deliberately diarrhea on white PVC doorways, the hosts rant about dystopian American data centers poisoning the water supply and starving cattle to power future robot workers.Conspiracies & Anne Widdecombe: The gang mocks online conspiracy theorists who claim Queen Elizabeth is still alive and that an attacked politician was replaced by a double, agreeing that clickbait channels are purely designed to fool idiots.World Cup & WNBA Beatdowns: Moving to sports, they praise a Norway striker who acts like an indestructible Terminator, while admiring WNBA basketball where players use Taekwondo and headlocks to settle on-court beef.The Death of Physical Media: The episode wraps up with news of game stores closing and PlayStation ditching physical discs, prompting the hosts to hoard 20-year-old mobile phones and ancient DVDs to survive the inevitable internet apocalypse.

  4. Jul 6

    103 - Skeggy B

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Episode Summary (Or: Synchronized shitting, penis dilators, and the horrors of Butlins.) Episode Summary (Or: Penis dilators, ghost dishwashers, and council estate raves at Butlins.) Bodily Functions & Urethral Sounding: The hosts kick off the show by synchronizing their bowel movements and immediately revolting each other with a discussion about metal urethra stretchers and pegging.Father’s Day Regrets & DIY Meltdowns: The crew celebrates Father’s Day by hiding from their own children, while one host recounts an ADHD-fueled breakdown over an unfinished, late-night bedroom painting project.Haunted Toys & Possessed Appliances: Tales of terrifying interactive Furbies spiral into a genuine horror story about a ghost-possessed dishwasher that mysteriously unlocked itself at 4:00 AM.UK Heatwaves & Bus Fires: After complaining about sticky British weather, the gang laughs off a local school trip where a coach burned to a crisp while the school casually texted parents that the kids were just "running late."Gator-Anglers & Florida Living: One host details his dream of moving to alligator-infested Florida while passing around a real, chewed-up alligator skull gifted to him by a giant swamp angler.Tribute Bands & The Depths of Butlins: The episode wraps up with a roast of Butlins—described as a dirty council-estate holiday full of raving OAPs and STI-ridden singles—before the hosts recall heckling Peter Andre in the 90s.

  5. Jun 19

    102 - Nostril Poppers

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Episode Summary (Or: Bad drugs, nonced teachers, and wanking off pandas.) Festival Nostalgia: The crew reminisces about early metal festivals, including a 1998 Cradle of Filth set where the singer’s scream literally summoned a apocalyptic thunderstorm that ended the second the music stopped.Bad Trips & Granddad’s High: Tales of teenage drug mishaps peak with the hosts smoking out-of-date kitchen herbs until everything turned orange, and a grandfather who accidentally got blasted on poppers while cleaning the bathroom.School Traumas & Car Boot S***s: The group trashes secondary school, highlighting a host who sniffed poppers during cross-country running, suffered immediate bowel disaster, and was shoved into the boot of a car to go home.Paintball Carnage & Nonce Teachers: After recalling a drama teacher who turned out to be a sex offender, they reminisce about a paintball trip where a host threw a paint grenade directly down his own trouser leg, exploding his pants and deafening himself.College Dropouts & Pension Panic: The crew discusses quitting college after being handed a tambourine, abandoning engineering careers, and agreeing to skip traditional funerals so their corpses can be thrown into a dumpster in a weird pose.Panda Fondling & Frank the Goat: The episode devolves into a debate about a Japanese job involving wearing panda suits to manually collect panda semen, capped off by a mutual hatred for an aggressive, water-phobic farm goat named Frank.

  6. Jun 12

    101 - Weirdy & The Vegan

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Episode Summary (Or: Juggernaut suits, David Hasselhoff encounters, and Pokémon card pensions.) 1. Pride Month Budgets & Southend Knights: The gang fumes over local event cancellations and pitches a solution to Southend’s social media knife threats involving an undercover cop dressed in full, clanking medieval armor.2. Bitchin’ Mods & Biffa Bin Ninja Duels: After geeking out over retro fighting-game mods, the hosts map out a stealth mission where they leap out of industrial waste bins to challenge drunk night-clubbers to a sword fight.3. Fat Birds, Vol-au-Vents & Sea Bug Bans: The conversation descends into late-night hookup regrets, an overdue plea to bring back 1980s cress garnishes, and a total refusal to eat bottom-feeding ocean bugs.4. Arseless Chaps & David Hasselhoff Encounters: One host gets endlessly mocked for his upcoming whiskey-and-cigar outing, prompting memories of meeting a massive, starstruck-inducing David Hasselhoff at a 2005 book signing.5. Action Movie Idols & Wendigo Curses: The crew roasts action stars while explaining that eating human flesh turns you into a mythical Wendigo—a fate one host narrowly avoids despite his nose-picking habits.6. Mortal Kombat Sucks & Irish Border Wars: After dismissing the new Mortal Kombat movie as complete trash, the gang marvels at a viral video of Irish vigilantes using minigun fireworks to settle border disputes.7. Dyslexic Signs & Pokémon Retirement Funds: The episode wraps up with a laugh over absurdly misprinted signs and a serious pitch for ditching standard pensions to hoard unopened boxes of Pokémon cards.

  7. May 31

    100 - MK3 (it sounded fine at the time)

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Episode Summary (Or: Defrosted sausages, accidental s***s, and Denzel Washington hatred.) 1. Audio Fails & Episode 100-ish: The hosts kick off their milestone episode by complaining about room heat, bad sofa positioning, and the dozens of lost, unusable episodes hidden in their archives.2. Epstein Lists & Creepy Garden Gnomes: The gang gets distracted by guest Chino's sofa slouching, comparing his look to a cursed, trench-coat-wearing garden gnome on an FBI watchlist.3. Defrosted Sausages & Barbecue Banter: A discussion about phone calls on the toilet quickly descends into roasts about defrosted-sausage dicks, erect barbecue meats, and strict party guest lists.4. He-Man Lore & Skeletor's House: The crew derails into a passionate, heavily detailed debate on He-Man cartoon lore, R-rated superhero reboots, and whether Skeletor was evicted by a fruity family.5. Dislocated Fingers & AI Laser Death Squads: The quiz segment begins as the hosts guess who can pop their fingers out of joint on command and marvel at AI-powered lasers that vaporize flying gnats.6. Lego Colons & Coughing Up Disasters: A debate on useless skills turns to Lego-built sex toys before one host confesses to a horrific party incident involving Imodium, a cough, and ruined trousers.7. Porno Mags, Emergency S***s & Morrissey Haters: The group uncovers old tales of stolen adult magazines, public bathroom emergencies at a bowling alley, and an undying, irrational hatred for Morrissey and Denzel Washington.8. Jamie Oliver & Infinite Phone Bills: The episode wraps up with a furious rant against brioche burger buns before one host laments being trapped in an endless 24-month phone contract for the rest of his life.

  8. May 24

    099 - T.R.TED

    Find us here https://linktr.ee/trrpod Closing music - Belesduna Find more here https://linktr.ee/belesduna Purdy ink Facebook https://www.facebook.com/PurdyInk83 insata https://www.instagram.com/purdyink83/ Section Breakdown Audio Fails & Dark Humor: The hosts test their microphones, exchange offensive jokes, and hype up a local butcher's meat deal.Halal, Kosher & Desert Pigs: The guys debate the ethics and taste of Halal vs. Kosher meat slaughter before wondering why pigs don't live in the desert.Vampire Jesus & Mountain Goats: The crew discusses whether Jesus was a white vampire carpenter, why mountain goats seem satanic, and watch videos of Rottweilers bullying Chihuahuas.David Attenborough & Morgan Freeman: The hosts celebrate David Attenborough turning 100, analyze his tree-sundial banter with the Queen, and joke about Morgan Freeman cussing out dinosaurs.Hyena Feasts & Spinal Decompression: The conversation pivots to state funerals, getting eaten ass-first by hyenas, and one host's excruciating spinal decompression treatments.DIY Back Repairs & Testosterone Tests: The gang suggests fixing back pain with duct tape before discussing finger-prick blood tests and signing up for £90/month testosterone therapy.Fat Loss Pills, Herbs & Naps: The hosts evaluate fat-loss supplements like Clenbuterol and Ephedrine, dismiss herbal remedies like Ashwagandha, and complain about needing old-man naps.Port for Diarrhea & Amazon Scams: The crew shares old-school remedies like drinking port and brandy for diarrhea, boasts about scamming Amazon for free deliveries, and worries about expired MOTs.Bush Porn & Leather Coin Pouches: The hosts reminisce about finding porn magazines hidden in bushes, trade handmade leather coin pouches, and joke about historical condoms.Episode 100 Plans & Season 5 Hopes: The group makes vague plans for their upcoming 100th episode milestone and jokes about finally taking the podcast seriously in Season 5.

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About

Step up to the Rude Roundtable. unfiltered, hilariously offensive, and entirely off the rails, this is the ultimate no-holds-barred conversation with your funniest mates. Whether dissecting medical miracles, roasting each other's lifestyle choices, or solving the nation's problems with sheer nonsense, no topic is off-limits and no feelings are spared. If you like your comedy crude, your banter sharp, and your topics completely unpredictable, pull up a seat and brace yourself.

Information

  • Creator
    Purdy, Gav, John & Ted
  • Years Active
    2023 - 2026
  • Episodes
    108
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © TRRPodUk
  • Show Website
    Rude Roundtable