Raising Good Humans

Aliza Pressman

As a parent, do you ever wish someone could just whisper some realistic and trustworthy support in your ear? And not make you feel awful for not having all the answers? Well, that's what I'm here for. I'm Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist, NYT bestselling author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, Associate Clinical Professor, and Co-Founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. And I'm a mom... trying to raise good humans myself, so I'm in this with you! In each episode, we'll go deep (but brief) with both experts and parents to share the most effective approaches and tools and talk about the important bigger picture of raising good humans. My goal is to make your parenting journey less overwhelming and a lot more joyful! Please join me every Friday for new episodes of Raising Good Humans.

  1. há 6 dias

    Why "How Was Your Day?" Doesn't Work, And What Actually Gets Kids Talking

    Getting nothing but "fine"?  Dr. Aliza Pressman on why your questions shut kids down and what actually gets them to open up and talk to you.  If "How was your day?" only ever gets you a "fine" (or an eye roll), you're not alone, and it doesn't mean something is wrong in your relationship. In this episode of Raising Good Humans, developmental psychologist Dr. Aliza Pressman explains why so many kids stop sharing around the elementary school years, and why pushing for details usually backfires. Drawing on research on how children and teens decide what to share, she shows that kids open up to parents who feel approachable, not just available, and that how you react to the small, everyday stories decides whether they'll come to you with the big ones.  What you’ll learn: - Why kids share more with parents who are approachable, not just available  - The Goldilocks reaction: how to respond when your child tells you something surprising so they keep talking  - Why micro-moments of connection matter more than big "tell me everything" talks  - Specific, low-stakes questions to use instead of "How was your day?" (and when to stop asking altogether)  - How to get the information you need when safety is at stake without being nosy  - Creative ways in: word games, family game night, your child's interests, and other trusted adults  🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books: ✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become": https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/ 📖 Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547 Follow Raising Good Humans:  📱 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/  🎙 Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044  Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Qualia: Experience the most trusted magnesium for purity, potency, and performance. Go to qualialife.com/HUMANS for 50% off. And here’s a bonus, use the code HUMANS for an additional 15% off your order. Thanks to Qualia for sponsoring this episode! Momentous:  Momentous Signature Spec Creatine is setting a new standard for creatine quality. If you want to try Momentous Signature Spec Creatine, head to livemomentous.com and use code HUMANS for up to 35% off your entire first order.  Wayfair: Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get five percent back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Why "How Was Your Day?" Doesn't Work, And What Actually Gets Kids Talking
  2. 9 de out.

    Is Gentle Parenting Making Kids Run the Show?

    Gentle parenting turned permissive?  Somewhere between "because I said so" and "is it okay if we go to bed now?", many well-meaning parents lost their footing. In this episode of Raising Good Humans, Dr. Siggie and Dr. Aliza are answering listener questions to unpack how gentle parenting can quietly slide into permissive parenting, and why children actually feel safer when a parent leads with structure, warmth, and clear boundaries.  What you’ll learn: - Why "all feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not" works better than punishment when your child hits a sibling  - The problem with letting kids choose their own consequences, and what builds real ownership instead  - Mom guilt, separation, and how to help kids "hold on" to you when you're apart  - Setting bedtime limits: when connection becomes accommodation  - How to respond to negative self-talk in kids  - Why empty threats stop working, and how to set boundaries that teach self-regulation  🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Siggie Cohen:  https://drsiggie.com/ 📚 Her Book, You Are the Parent:  https://drsiggie.com/you-are-the-parent/ Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books: ✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become": https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/ 📖 Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547 Follow Raising Good Humans:  📱 Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/  🎙 Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044  Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Orion Sleep: Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Right now, Orion is offering our listeners 15% off at Orionsleep.com/HUMANS. BetterHelp: If you’ve been waiting to start therapy, BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. Don’t have insurance or don't live in the United States? You can still get 10% off your first month. Visit BetterHelp.com/HUMANS OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Is Gentle Parenting Making Kids Run the Show?
  3. 2 de out.

    The Homework Episode for Overwhelmed Parents

    Does homework time in your house end in tears, arguments, or a kid still awake at midnight?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Ellen Braaten, founding director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital and associate professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. Together they unpack why homework has become such a point of tension in families, why more homework isn't actually better for kids, and how too much of it can quietly chip away at sleep, motivation, and mental health, whether your child is in second grade or staying up late studying in high school.  What you’ll learn: ● How much homework kids actually need by age, and why more than two hours a night stops helping  ● The hidden costs of too much homework: lost sleep, lower motivation, and rising anxiety  ● How to support your child without hovering, controlling, or doing the work for them ● What to say (and what to skip) when your child is crying over homework  ● Why bright kids with ADHD, learning differences, or slow processing speed can take hours to finish  ● How to tell the difference between a homework problem and a mental health problem  🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Ellen Braaten: https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/about 📚 Her Book, Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up:  https://www.ellenbraatenphd.com/books Buy Dr. Aliza Pressman's Books: ✨ Preorder “The Orchid Code: How Temperament Shapes Who We Become" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250462312/theorchidcode/ 📖Order "The 5 Principles of Parenting" by Dr. Aliza Pressman: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-5-Principles-of-Parenting/Aliza-Pressman/9781668014547 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As:  📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Fora: Turn your passion for travel planning into a real business. Become a Fora Advisor today at Fora.com/humans, and make sure you tell them we sent you.  Osea: OSEA has clean, seaweed-powered skincare from the sea. Go to  OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HUMANS.  Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    The Homework Episode for Overwhelmed Parents
  4. 25 de set.

    Raising Capable Friends, Not Just Capable Kids, Sissy Goff and David Thomas on navigating friendship season

    Does your kid actually know how to be a good friend — or are they just hoping the right friends find them?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Sissy Goff and David Thomas, therapists at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, hosts of the Raising Boys and Girls podcast, and New York Times bestselling authors of Capable. Together they unpack why the back-to-school season triggers so much social anxiety in kids, and why shifting the focus from "how do I find friends" to "how do I be a good friend" is one of the most powerful reframes parents can offer, whether their child is walking into their very first kindergarten classroom or navigating the brutal social terrain of middle school. What you’ll learn: Why reframing "find a friend" as "be a friend" changes everything for anxious kids The FAILS framework: teaching kids that awkward first interactions are just data, not failure "Back pocket questions" kids can use to start conversations at lunch, recess, and beyond Why middle school friendship struggles are developmentally normal (even when they look fine on the outside) How to talk to kids about hard social moments without lecturing — the "breezy" approach The "balcony friends" and "pacesetter" frameworks for helping kids recognize who's actually good for them RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 About This Episode's Guests, Sissy Goff & David Thomas https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/about?srsltid=AfmBOooxvHK80JWyYOegbfKJ_Vcqn5ImOoRaHXE5109SNfAUPaMDb8SD 📚 Their Book, Capable: https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/capablebook 🎙️ Their Podcast: Raising Boys and Girls: https://www.raisingboysandgirls.com/podcast Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  Minnow: Cabana Capsule celebrates days spent lingering by the sea, soaking up the sun, and savoring the simple luxury of having nowhere to be. Shop the capsule starting July 7th at shopminnow.com and enter code MEETMINNOW15 at checkout to receive 15% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Raising Capable Friends, Not Just Capable Kids, Sissy Goff and David Thomas on navigating friendship season
  5. 18 de set.

    Sibling Fights: When to Step In (and When to Stay Out)

    Sibling fights making you crazy?  If you've ever wondered when to intervene in sibling fights versus when to let your kids work it out themselves, this episode gives you a practical framework you can use today. Sibling fights are one of the most common pain points of parenting, and we’ve all been there. In this episode, developmental psychologist and Raising Good Humans host Dr. Aliza Pressman explains how to tell the difference between normal sibling conflict and situations that require real intervention, why fairness doesn't mean giving every kid the exact same thing, and how the language parents use in the heat of the moment can either fuel resentment or teach kids to fight well. What you’ll learn: The "witness, not judge" framework for staying neutral during sibling conflict How to use "sportscaster mode" to de-escalate fights without picking sides Why fair doesn't mean equal—and how to explain equity to your kids The hidden dangers of labeling kids ("the helper," "the difficult one") within the family How to handle twins, age gaps, and the "glass child" experience Simple family rituals that build long-term sibling closeness and repair skills 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Fora: Turn your passion for travel planning into a real business. Become a Fora Advisor today at Fora.com/humans, and make sure you tell them we sent you.  Merit Beauty: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com.   BetterHelp: Better is a feeling—defined by you. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.  Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  Wayfair: Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade. Head to Wayfair.com to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every Style. Every Home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Sibling Fights: When to Step In (and When to Stay Out)
  6. 11 de set.

    Dr. Shefali: The Hormones Behind First Love, Heartbreak, and Hookup Culture

    Why does a teenage breakup feel like the end of the world for girls, but barely register for boys?  Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Shefali — clinical psychologist, founder of the conscious parenting movement, and New York Times bestselling author of Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons — for a conversation that finally explains the biology behind teen dating, heartbreak, and hookup culture. From the surge of estrogen and oxytocin that wires girls to bond instantly, to the testosterone spike that turns boys into what Dr. Shefali calls "novelty seekers," this episode breaks down what's actually happening inside your child's brain during their first crush, their first relationship, and their first heartbreak. What you’ll learn: The hormonal science behind why girls bond faster and boys move on faster — and how to talk to each about it Why Dr. Shefali says daughters must be taught they are "the chooser, not the chosen" How to talk to sons about testosterone, impulse control, and sexual responsibility before puberty hits Why hookup culture and "situationships" are more about FOMO than a lack of values What porn is really doing to how teens experience rejection and real-life romance The single biggest antidote to disconnection Dr. Shefali says every family is missing RESOURCES & LINKS: More from Dr. Shefali:  📚 Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons by Dr. Shefali Tsabary https://www.drshefali.com/raisingconscious-daughters-sons/ Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Orion Sleep: Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Right now, Orion is offering our listeners 15% off at Orionsleep.com/HUMANS. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  OneSkin: Born from over 10 years of longevity research, OneSkin is helping you unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code RGH at oneskin.co/RGH. Tell them we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Dr. Shefali: The Hormones Behind First Love, Heartbreak, and Hookup Culture
  7. 4 de set.

    Angela Duckworth on the Hidden Forces Shaping Your Kid's Behavior

    Is your child's behavior really about who they are — or is it about where you've put them?  In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Dr. Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit, MacArthur "Genius" Grant winner, and University of Pennsylvania psychologist, to unpack her powerful new book, Situated. Together they explore why the "fundamental attribution error" causes so many parents to blame a child's character when the real culprit is the situation around them — and why editing that situation, from where you keep your phone to which zip code you live in, is one of the most effective child development strategies parents actually have. What you’ll learn: Why the "fundamental attribution error" makes parents misjudge their kids' behavior The "3-foot rule": how personal space and phone placement quietly drive academic performance Practical ways to build self-control in kids without relying on willpower alone How intentionally choosing a neighborhood or school shapes peer influence and character The powerful role of mentors, coaches, and teachers as "surrogate parents" Modeling behavior: what your kids are really learning by watching you 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS: 📖 About This Episode's Guest, Dr. Angela Duckworth:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/about 📚 Dr. Duckworth's Book, Situated:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/situated 📚 Dr. Duckworth's Bestseller, Grit:https://www.angeladuckworth.com/grit Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ This episode is brought to you by: Little Spoon: Feeding the kids doesn’t have to be complicated. Get 30% off your first online order at littlespoon.com/HUMANS with code HUMANS. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box.  BetterHelp: Better is a feeling—defined by you. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/humans.  Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Osea: OSEA has clean, seaweed-powered skincare from the sea. Go to OSEAMalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code HUMANS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Angela Duckworth on the Hidden Forces Shaping Your Kid's Behavior
  8. 28 de ago.

    Were 'Covid Kids' Really Damaged? What 17 New Studies Show

    Blaming your kid's attention span on Covid? In this episode, Dr. Aliza Pressman sits down with Georgetown Professor and developmental psychologist, Dr. Anna Johnson, to unpack a landmark special section of 17 longitudinal studies published in Child Development, the field's top journal. Together they walk through what parents have been told about "Covid kids" versus what the actual research shows about learning loss, executive functioning, and child mental health five years later. What you’ll learn: ● Why longitudinal research tells a different story than the "learning loss" headlines ● Which kids were actually at higher risk — and which weren't ● Why reading recovered faster than math after school closures ● How parent-child closeness buffered teens against long-term depression and anxiety ● The infant study that found zero effect of Covid on biological aging ● Why grade inflation and parent-teacher distrust may explain more than the pandemic does 🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS:  Learn More About This Episode's Guest: 📖 Dr. Anna Johnson: https://www.cdsplab.org/faculty https://gufaculty360.georgetown.edu/s/contact/00336000014TwO9AAK/anna-d-johnson  🔬 The Child Development special section, "Children's Developmental Trajectories in the Long Shadow of COVID-19":  https://academic.oup.com/chidev/advance-article/doi/10.1093/chidev/aacag153/8763937 Read more on this topic: 📚https://www.cdsplab.org/tulsa-seed-briefs 📚https://academic.oup.com/chidev/advance-article-abstract/doi/10.1093/chidev/aacaf030/8505765 📚https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2027-01613-001 Follow Raising Good Humans: 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ 🎙️ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans/id1473072044 Subscribe on Substack for weekly articles and exclusive LIVE Q&As: 📧 https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ 🔔 New episodes every week — subscribe and turn on notifications so you never miss a conversation on raising healthy, resilient humans. This episode is brought to you by: Great Wolf Lodge: With 22 lodges across the country, you’re always only a short drive away from adventure. Learn more at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. Boar’s Head: For lunchtime inspiration visit: boarshead.com/backtoschool. For Boar’s Head, head to your local deli counter. Kodiak: Feel good about snack choices with Kodiak Bars. Find them at kodiakcakes.com or your local grocery store. They’re the ones with the bear on the box. Merit Beauty: Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com.   Minnow: Cabana Capsule celebrates days spent lingering by the sea, soaking up the sun, and savoring the simple luxury of having nowhere to be. Shop the capsule starting July 7th at shopminnow.com and enter code MEETMINNOW15 at checkout to receive 15% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    Were 'Covid Kids' Really Damaged? What 17 New Studies Show
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Sobre

As a parent, do you ever wish someone could just whisper some realistic and trustworthy support in your ear? And not make you feel awful for not having all the answers? Well, that's what I'm here for. I'm Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist, NYT bestselling author of The Five Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, Associate Clinical Professor, and Co-Founder of the Mount Sinai Parenting Center. And I'm a mom... trying to raise good humans myself, so I'm in this with you! In each episode, we'll go deep (but brief) with both experts and parents to share the most effective approaches and tools and talk about the important bigger picture of raising good humans. My goal is to make your parenting journey less overwhelming and a lot more joyful! Please join me every Friday for new episodes of Raising Good Humans.

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