Sanity Optional

Speakeasy Studios
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  • Alternative Health
  • Updated Weekly

Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Sanity is optional.

  1. Jul 22

    When Being the Strong One Breaks You | Sanity Optional | Episode 17

    In this episode, Alexis gets into what happens when you've spent so long being everyone's safe space that you've completely lost track of your own. She talks directly to the helpers, the caretakers, the oldest daughters, the nurses, the therapists, the teachers, and anyone who has quietly become the emotional backbone of everyone around them while nobody thinks to ask how they're doing. Alexis breaks down why endless giving often starts as survival and not strength, what compassion fatigue actually feels like from the inside, and why drawing a boundary can feel like becoming the villain even when it's the healthiest thing you've ever done. She also gets into why helpers tend to date emotionally unavailable people, what it means to mistake being needed for being loved, and what your life actually looks like when you stop abandoning yourself to take care of everyone else. Timestamps 00:00 The Weight of Being the Strong One 04:36 Boundaries vs. Self-Abandonment 08:04 Roots of the Caretaker Identity 11:39 Patterns in Rescuing and Relationships 15:28 Healing from Compassion Fatigue ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    When Being the Strong One Breaks You | Sanity Optional | Episode 17

  2. Jul 15

    You Don't Have to Have a Calling | Sanity Optional | Episode 16

    In this episode, Alexis gets into one of the quietest crises she sees in her work: people who have done everything right and still feel empty. She talks about what happens when your identity is built around achievement, why hustle culture is just another way of avoiding yourself, and why purpose doesn't have to be some grand, singular calling. It can just be loving your life. Alexis also gets into what it looks like to stop performing and actually find out who you are underneath it all, why nobody is coming to save you and why that's actually good news, and what it means to finally choose yourself instead of waiting to be chosen by someone else. Timestamps 00:00 Finding Purpose and Your True Calling 04:06 The Dangers of Hustle and Healing Culture 08:29 Defining Value and Navigating Life’s Disappointments 12:06 Unpacking Addictions and Taking Responsibility 16:12 Love, Self-Worth, and Emotional Patterns 21:09 Embracing Play Over Performance ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    You Don't Have to Have a Calling | Sanity Optional | Episode 16

  3. Jul 9

    Why You're Afraid of Your Own Feelings | Sanity Optional | Episode 15

    In this episode, Alexis breaks down the emotions most people spend their lives trying to avoid and explains why avoiding them is exactly what keeps people stuck. She walks through the fear family, sadness, anger, shame, disgust, and more, getting into where each one comes from, what it's actually trying to tell you, and what it takes to heal it. Alexis also gets into the fears that quietly run people's lives, from the fear of death and failure to the fear of being seen, being left, or never becoming who they were supposed to be. She makes the case that no emotion is actually bad, and that the relationship you build with your own inner life is the most important one you'll ever have. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction to Negative Emotions 01:12 Understanding and Healing Fear 05:47 Exploring the Sadness Family 07:27 The Dynamics of Anger 08:55 Navigating Shame and Guilt 11:29 Disgust and Social Rigidity 13:35 Threat to Self & Vulnerability 14:48 Existential Emotions & Overwhelm 18:10 Confronting the Fear of Death 21:18 Living Wrong & Feeling Stuck 25:17 Fear of Loss and Change 27:00 Meaning, Purpose, and Uniqueness 28:47 Embarrassment & Knowing Yourself 31:00 False Identity & Dying Alone 33:10 Career, Money, and Success Fears 35:29 Relationship & Breakup Fears 40:02 The Fear of Being a Bad Person 41:09 Friendship Fears & Humiliation 44:17 Core Fears and Healing ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    Why You're Afraid of Your Own Feelings | Sanity Optional | Episode 15

  4. Jul 1

    Who Are You Really? Identity, Ego, and Coming Home to Yourself | Sanity Optional | Episode 14

    In this episode, Alexis digs into one of the most disorienting questions you can ask yourself: who are you, actually? She breaks down the difference between identity and ego, why so many people are living out a version of themselves built around earning love or staying safe, and what it feels like when you finally stop performing and start just being. Alexis gets into the nervous system roots of people-pleasing and overachieving, why reinventing yourself is healthy and not a crisis, and how rigid family systems quietly shape the way we see ourselves for decades. She also gets into ego death, the shadow self, and why coming home to your identity isn't a destination so much as a practice. Timestamps 00:00 Identity vs. Ego 02:37 Healthy vs. Unhealthy Ego 06:32 Defining Self: Who Am I? 09:42 Fluidity of Identity 12:51 Chosen vs. Inherited Identity 16:03 Authenticity and Relationships 19:50 Self-Love and Validation 22:32 Human Nature and Shadow Self 26:17 Reinvention and Growth 29:43 Exiting the Matrix of Fear 33:04 The Power of Authenticity 36:17 Outgrowing Family Identity 39:10 The Pitfalls of Labels 43:33 Online vs. Authentic Self 47:25 AI, Brands, and Purpose 51:17 Embracing Life’s Waves ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    Who Are You Really? Identity, Ego, and Coming Home to Yourself | Sanity Optional | Episode 14

  5. May 27

    The History of Mental Health: How We Got Here and Why It Matters | Sanity Optional | Episode 13

    In this episode, Alexis gets into something she has been wanting to cover for a while: the history of mental health. And it is not a comfortable story. From spinning chairs and ice pick lobotomies to forced sterilizations funded by Rockefeller and Carnegie, she walks through how we got here and why so many people still carry a deep fear of mental institutions and psychiatric care. She also gets into the moments when humanity actually got it right, the Quakers, and what happened every single time kindness and community proved more effective than medication and control. Spoiler: it got shut down. Timestamps 00:00 Introduction to Mental Health History 03:13 Early Mental Health Treatments 09:27 Humanitarian Reforms & Setbacks 14:02 Eugenics Movement in Mental Health 16:47 Brutal 20th Century ‘Treatments’ 20:03 Lobotomy and Chemical Lobotomy 33:26 Reflecting on Mental Health History ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    The History of Mental Health: How We Got Here and Why It Matters | Sanity Optional | Episode 13

  6. May 20

    Hypnosis, Hope, and Importance of Kindness | Sanity Optional | Episode 12

    This episode does not have a tidy theme and Alexis is the first to admit it. She starts with some genuinely good news, talks about quitting vaping through hypnosis after two years of trying everything else, and then goes somewhere bigger. She gets into why everyone has become so mean online, why we have lost the ability to have fun, and why the loneliness epidemic is not going to be solved by anyone at the top of the room. She also gets into hope, excitement, community, and why the small choices we make every single day matter more than we think. Timestamps  00:00 Quitting Nicotine: A Personal Journey 03:00 Hypnosis: The Breakthrough Solution 06:40 The Rise of Judgment and Fear 09:50 Social Media’s Impact and Loneliness 13:00 Embracing Imperfection and Connection 17:28 Prioritizing Real-Life Interaction 19:38 Economic Disparity and Lack of Empathy 24:52 Rekindling Hope, Excitement, and Community 29:50 Workplace Fun and Kindness 32:40 The Power of Small Choices and Kindness ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    Hypnosis, Hope, and Importance of Kindness | Sanity Optional | Episode 12

  7. May 13

    ChatGPT vs. Therapist: Stop Asking the Computer and Start Asking Each Other | Sanity Optional | Episode 11

    Alexis has a bone to pick with ChatGPT. She works through the most googled mental health, sex, and dating questions and makes the case that most of what people are searching for has nothing to do with information; it’s about wanting to know that someone else feels the same way. She also gets into burnout culture, why community has quietly disappeared from modern life, and why the simple act of talking to a stranger might be more healing than anything you will find on a screen. Timestamps 00:00 ChatGPT vs. Therapist 01:36 ChatGPT’s Offense: Therapist to Therapist 04:00 Is What I’m Feeling Normal? 06:56 Coping with Stress: It’s Not That Serious 08:11 Sex Drive and Body Normality 09:37 Feeling Stuck and Burnt Out 12:12 Dating: Why Can’t I Find Someone? 14:31 Funny Questions and Texting Etiquette 16:40 The Fear of Human Connection 17:50 ChatGPT as a Tool, Not a Replacement 21:07 Bringing Back Community and Connection ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

    ChatGPT vs. Therapist: Stop Asking the Computer and Start Asking Each Other | Sanity Optional | Episode 11

  8. May 6

    The Sex Episode: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body | Sanity Optional | Episode 10

    The sex episode is here, and it goes somewhere unexpected. Alexis starts with performance anxiety, orgasmic disorder, and why we are all so weird about sex in America, before pivoting into the conversation she really wanted to have. The one nobody wants to have. She gets into sexual safety, predatory behavior, how to talk to your kids about body safety, and what she learned from the years she spent working with some of the most dangerous people she has ever encountered. She closes with a reminder that whatever happened to you does not leave a mark you cannot heal from, and that you deserve to thrive, not just survive. ABOUT SANITY OPTIONAL Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Show Links Rowan Healing: https://www.rowanhealing.com/

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About

Sanity Optional is a podcast about the parts of mental health we usually keep to ourselves. It’s for the moments when your life looks fine on the outside but feels messy underneath. When you’re tired of being told to “do the work.” When you secretly wonder if you’re the only one struggling with something that feels too taboo to say out loud. Hosted by therapist and founder of Rowan Healing, Alexis Ely, this show was created for people who feel like they’re in the other club. The ones who don’t fit the timeline. The ones who have been to the edge of their own mind and made it back. Alexis shares her story, from early trauma and suicidal depression to the perfectionism and addiction that followed, and ultimately the kind of peace she once believed was impossible. She brings clinical experience and lived experience into the same room, without turning healing into a performance or a checklist. This isn’t about becoming a better version of yourself. It’s about feeling at home in your own mind. Welcome to the rabbit hole. Sanity is optional.

Information

  • Creator
    Speakeasy Studios
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    17
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Sanity Optional