Who Gets the China?

Kirsten Mau

Your entertaining and useful guide to helping your parents live better, longer - and saving your sanity while you you’re at it. Join me and my esteemed guests while we share humorous stories and expert advice to help you navigate this phase of life with humor, grace, and tools to succeed. whogetsthechina.substack.com

  1. AUG 26

    Aging-in-place: Meaningful Conversations and Sound Decisions with Julie Butscher, LCSW

    If you have aging parents like I do, no doubt the topic of “aging-in-place” vs. moving to a “community” has come up. Maybe it’s a topic they don’t want to talk about or haven’t even thought about. Listen as Julie and Kirsten break down how to have these conversations and what to look for as you assess options with your parents. You’ll love Julie’s positive outlook and nuggets of wisdom that will help you remove the stress and get to the right solution for your family. We touch on: using the “Spoons Theory” to maximize quality of life; how to avoid being one incident away from a crisis; when to advocate for outside assistance and how to justify the financial investment; tips for having “the car key conversation”; strategies for keeping older adults safe in their home with medication management tips; how to use “Voice 7” to gain acceptance for new ideas and care strategies; and how to plan ahead to avoid a "no decision" decision. Follow Who Gets the China? on whogetsthechina.substack.com If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might appreciate the conversation. And don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Follow us on Spotify or Apple podcasts Credits: Produced by Aaron Bryce @ www.bluogden.com Theme music composed by Greg Fellman @ www.windsandproductions.com Graphic design by Jenn Beam @ www.jigawattsstudio.com

    54 min
  2. JUL 29

    What Is Palliative Care and Why Do You Need To Know About It? with Sarah McCarthy LCSW

    Join expert in palliative care, Sarah McCarthy, LCSW, and Kirsten for a lively, useful, and engaging conversation around an often misunderstood topic: palliative care. If you love someone who has a significant medical diagnosis, you need to hear this. If you are like me, you might have a preconceived notion that palliative care is something like hospice care, but you’re not sure how it’s different. Listen along and learn how palliative care can help you and your loved ones support a range of life-limiting diagnoses. Palliative care with a licensed professional is a valuable and important resource for families navigating serious health issues, but the sooner you engage, the better off you’ll be. Palliative care provides support to people with life-limiting illnesses and their families, focusing on discussing medical goals, quality of life, and healthcare preferences. While it’s a more familiar term to many, hospice care is a part of palliative care. While hospice care typically covers the last six months of life, and palliative care can begin at the time of diagnosis and continue as needed to help patients and families manage symptoms and talk about your values for living well. How and when we should talk about palliative care with loved ones who are dealing with a long-term diagnosis and how it can help maximize quality of life. How to start thinking about and talking about end of life and what your values are related to care decisions and quality of life. We cover medical power of attorney, DNRs and the MOST form, which I had never heard of before. Does your loved one need one? What is it and where to store it so it can be put in place when the time comes. Connect with us Follow and subscribe to Who Gets the China? on Substack for funny and emotional essays about helping one’s parents live better, longer and saving your sanity while you’re at it. @whogetsthechina.substack.com/ Visit www.whogetsthechina.com to read essays and sign up for the newsletter. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might appreciate the conversation. And don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Follow us on Spotify or Apple podcasts   Credits Produced by Aaron Bryce @ www.bluogden.com/ Theme music composed by Greg Fellman @ www.windsandproductions.com Graphic design by Jenn Beam @jigawattsstudio.com

    45 min
  3. JUL 20

    How Many Sewing Machines Do We Need?

    Welcome to this episode of Who Gets the China? Where we are navigating the joys and challenges of life with aging parents, one family heirloom at a time. In this case, it's vintage sewing machines. My mom is a gifted quilter and sewist, as I have mentioned before. She’s made everything from queen-size quilts to pink taffeta and lace prom dresses (of course, we still have that)! Once we spent a summer slipcovering the heaviest, most awkward swiveling bucket chair in a beautiful blue and white Chintz. We almost killed each other a few times. But it turned out great and I can make a mean corded trim. She passed that skill down to me and I’ve passed it on to my daughters. Even my younger nephews know their way around a machine. You never know when it will come in handy. You need to know that sewing machines can be temperamental. Especially newer ones which are made out of plastic so they go out of tune easily and cost more to fix than to replace. Somehow that has gotten us to a place where there are 4 machines at my mom’s house. Yep, four. * One that works * One that maybe kind of works * One that doesn’t work * A vintage Singer The kind in a stand-up wooden cabinet from 1955 that can be operated with or without electricity, but the wires are frayed and you need to hold the cord just-so for the power to work. My mom inherited it from my aunt when she moved into a senior living community and she wasn’t using it anymore. Now this heavy, awkward machine lives in the garage and every time we need to get into the storage shelves we have to drag it out of the way. At over 35 lbs, it’s no easy feat. It hasn’t been used in ages and needs re-wiring and an overhaul to make it work. But it was handed down from family and there is an emotional attachment. It also represents the hope that “one day I’ll refurbish it and use it.” Well, with 3 other machines in the wings, no, you probably won’t. It took years to decide that it is not going to get used and that it may as well find a new home where it can live out its intended purpose. But where? And how? And who would take it? My mom, sister, and I decided (or maybe I strongly encouraged us) to have a go at FB Marketplace. Easier said than done! We have to (try and) turn it on - it works! Even the old lightbulb still works. I research what model it is, how old it is, how much it might be worth, assess its condition, etc. I learned a lot of useless knowledge, like you can put the serial number into Google and find out where your model was made - kind of like a Cabbage Patch doll. (Ours was from New Jersey.) You have to take photos, videos, craft the listing and monitor the responses, or crickets, as the case may be. I became obsessed with the Messenger pings and the Facebook group for vintage Singer machines. People just want to talk about your machine and ask you questions or suggest information or show you photos of their machines. I just want to sell the damn thing. After several days, a possibly legit buyer reaches out and he wants to buy it for his girlfriend - who doesn’t sew. This is a huge red flag to us, and especially my mom who thinks it's crazy to buy a vintage machine for someone who doesn’t sew. I mean, she’s not wrong, but I worry she will talk him out of it. So I tell her to stay in the house while he’s here. I don’t really want a stranger knowing more about us than is required anyway. (That turns out not to be really true.) Finally the very chatty buyer shows up. He’s been researching machines for 3 days and is an expert. He shows us all kinds of tricks and how things work we never knew. As an engineer, he’s hooked. But, he’s considering 3 other machines and he takes us through photos of each and the sellers’ stories. He’s conflicted. Which one should he choose? I offhandedly share that this was my Aunt “Betty’s” machine and it had one owner all these years. For some reason, that little bit of human connection sealed the deal. He’d much rather gift his girlfriend a machine with a story and a past than something off a dusty shelf in a storage unit repair shop. I get that. I totally do. Something that has history and soul can call out to you and make you feel completely different about it. We haggled, he got a good deal, and we found an enthusiastic new home for Aunt Betty’s machine. My sister rolled her eyes and laughed at me for this transaction that took way longer than it needed to. If I am being honest, if I hadn’t had a plane to catch, I probably would have told him half my life’s story that relates to my aunt. But I resisted. We loaded this beast into his too-small sedan and they were on their way to a new life. A few days ago he sent me photos of the lovingly refurbished machine, gleaming and ready to create again. I loved seeing it ready for a new life. I hope his girlfriend, “Caryn with a C,” decides she wants to sew and makes lots of beautiful things. Based on her smile in the follow up photos, she looks pretty happy. If not, well, at least we made a new friend. Do you have a story you’d like to share about giving away something meaningful? I’d love to hear it. Shoot me an email at info@whogetsthechina.com Connect with me * Follow and subscribe to Who Gets the China? on Substack for funny, heartfelt and useful essays about helping your parents live better, longer. @whogetsthechina.substack.com/ * If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might appreciate the conversation. And don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. * Follow us on Spotify or Apple podcasts * Visit www.whogetsthechina.com Credits for Who Gets the China? * Produced by Aaron Bryce @ www.bluogden.com/ * Theme music composed by Greg Fellman @ www.windsandproductions.com * Graphic design by Jenn Beam @jigawattsstudio.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit whogetsthechina.substack.com

    7 min
  4. Downsizing with Care and Dignity with Nancy Nicholson

    JUL 15

    Downsizing with Care and Dignity with Nancy Nicholson

    For many of us, there comes a time when we may be called upon to help our parents downsize and transfer belongings and cherished items to new “homes.” It can be hard and emotional. But it can also be rewarding. Trust me, it’s true! Nancy is an expert at guiding families through transitions with personalized logistical and emotional support, ensuring every step is handled with care and dignity. Laugh and learn from our conversation where she shares her wisdom on: * The process of downsizing and decluttering, emphasizing the importance of starting conversations early and understanding the emotional value of items to loved ones * The challenges and benefits of involving neutral third parties in the process of managing and organizing a parent's belongings * Focusing on what items really matter to your loved ones, rather than what needs to be removed or “gotten rid of” * How rearranging and donating items can create more accessible and safer environments, while fostering family bonding * How to make donating feel good and less painful for our parents * Strategies for handling and distributing family heirlooms and estate items - literally, figuring out who does get the china! * Financial planning and estate management, emphasizing the importance of having a plan in place; making no decision is still a decision - one you may not be happy with later. Connect with us * Follow and subscribe to Who Gets the China? on Substack for funny and emotional essays about helping one’s parents live better, longer and saving your sanity while you’re at it. @whogetsthechina.substack.com/ * Visit www.whogetsthechina.com to read essays off Substack. * If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might appreciate the conversation. And don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so others can find it. * Follow along on Spotify or Apple podcasts Credits * Nancy Nicholson, Founder at NK Nicholson Consulting * Produced by Aaron Bryce @ www.bluogden.com/ * Theme music composed by Greg Fellman @ www.windsandproductions.com * Graphic design by Jenn Beam @jigawattsstudio.com Email us at info@whogetsthechina.com to inquire about interview and partnership opportunities. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit whogetsthechina.substack.com

    46 min
5
out of 5
6 Ratings

About

Your entertaining and useful guide to helping your parents live better, longer - and saving your sanity while you you’re at it. Join me and my esteemed guests while we share humorous stories and expert advice to help you navigate this phase of life with humor, grace, and tools to succeed. whogetsthechina.substack.com

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