Scratch That: Parenting & ReParenting Off Script

Rebekah Taussig & Caitlin Metz
  • 5.0 (35)
  • PARENTING
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

Scratch That is a weekly podcast with queer illustrator Caitlin Metz and disabled storyteller Rebekah Taussig, two friends trying to figure out how to be parents and people at the same time. Caitlin and Rebekah delve into heartfelt, honest conversations with caregivers who are going off script, starting from scratch, and building alternate paths. Join our community on Patreon!

  1. 🌪️ How Do We Navigate the Comparison Game?

    5D AGO

    🌪️ How Do We Navigate the Comparison Game?

    Do you ever feel like you're doing it wrong? Like everyone else has it figured out, and you're the only one flailing? Today we open the can of worms that wriggle around when we compare ourselves to the ones around us. Why are we so good at noticing our own lack, but not our abundance? What do we miss out on when we strive to match instead of living our unique values out loud? What do we do when we are grieving the very thing our friend has? Today we dive into the complexity and offer a few breadcrumbs for navigating this gnarly terrain. Tune In to Hear Us Talk About: 🙃 The moments of comparison that make Rebekah like a child among the grownups. 🫟 When the thing you're good at doesn't always look shiny or tidy. 🌤️ Learning to notice where we have abundance in addition to noticing the strain. 🌓 Rebekah grieving not having another kid while Caitlin prepares to welcome theirs. ♿️ How disability can make it taboo to express jealousy/grief for what you don't have. ❓ The guiding question to sort the comparison feelings – What is this actually about? 🤝 What makes it tricky and useful to share when we feel the pang of comparison. 🎨 Letting the both/and of our lives, co-exist side-by-side as a creative script building project. 📬 Less matching for the sake of it and more living our values out loud as a flag to find our people. Mentioned In This Episode: The episode we had with Emma Parker about infertility and miscarriage. The episode when each of us wonders if we will have a second kid. Our conversation with Amelia Hruby about social media. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! Does your brain get stuck in comparison mode? How do you navigate feeling inferior to or envious of the people in your orbit? What are your tools? What are your angsts? 🍎 Apple
🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    47 min
  2. 🌪️ How Do We Do Siblings??

    AUG 25

    🌪️ How Do We Do Siblings??

    As Caitlin prepares Charlie to welcome a sibling into the family, we delve into a swirly conversation about these complicated relationships. How much, if any, control do parents have over siblings relationships? What can parents do (or not do) to foster positive, long lasting relationship between their kids? How did our sibling relationships shape us? And how does that history inform the way we think about siblings relationships now? Tune In to Hear Us Talk About: 🧭 What drives Caitlin's intentionality in guiding Charlie through the transition of becoming a sibling. 🌈 How Caitlin's experience being the "rainbow baby" shaped siblings dynamics in their family. 📖 Learning to be conscious of the stories we put onto our kids. 🤝 One skill we think is mandatory to maintain sibling relationships over the long haul. 🍄 Disrupting our assigned roles within a family ecosystem. 🌱 Practicing seeing each other anew, over and over again. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Nine Months: Before a Baby Is Born written by Miranda Paul and illustrated by Jason Chin When Aidan Became a Brother written by Kyle Lukoff and illustrated by Kaylani Juanita What Makes a Baby written by Cory Silverberg and illustrated by Fiona Smyth As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! How have your sibling relationships evolved over your life? What role did you play in your family of origin? How are you thinking about the relationships between your kids? And do you have anyone in your life you'd like to try to see anew? 🍎 Apple
🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    35 min
  3. ⚡️What Makes a Moment?

    AUG 18

    ⚡️What Makes a Moment?

    Do you get heart palpitations just thinking about planning a kids' birthday party? Or wish all your days didn't just blur into a big bowl of mush? Today we take a careful and curious look at how we mark moments, big and small. How can we do this with a little more intention and a little less stress?? Tune In to Hear Up Talk About: 🍋 The inexpensive and spectacular ways Caitlin's mom marked a moment, large or small. 🕯️ Elevating a mundane moment through attention to sensory detail. 🧶 Why Rebekah still remembers the first day of kindergarten. 🎊 The many many ways paper chains have marked moments in Caitlin's life. ✨ Shifting from the big & expensive to the tiny, doable, and affordable. 🛒 The celebratory groceries practice Caitlin & Andrew share. 🤡 What makes planning kids' birthday parties so freaking stressful. 📝 Breaking the script on rehearsed moment to create novelty . 🏔️ Putting more energy into creating peak moments and less on fixing everyday grumbles. 🗓️ Marking moments as a way of making sure you remember your own life. 🍼 The REAL reason Caitlin is having a baby shower. The sensory birthday party Caitlin talked about. Breakfast in bed on Rebekah's 4th birthday, a smiley face made out of powdered donuts and sausage links. Mentioned In Today's Episode: If you would like to support Kate Weiners in the aftermath of the fire that damaged her bookstore, Monstera's Plants, you can purchase a gift cared here. They are working very hard to re-open and could use some help in the meantime! And if you missed our episode with Kate, listen to our conversation here. The Power of Moments by Chip Heath and Dan Heath The Art of Gathering by Priya Parker Thunder Cake by Patricia Polacco As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! How do you think about Caitlin's ideas of "romanticizing" your life or "memorializing" a life before it ends? What ways have you found to make a moment, large or small, more meaningful? What do you think makes this work hard? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    55 min

  4. AUG 11

    🎙️ ReParenting, Money Discomfort, and Social Media Exits with Cody Cook Parrott

    Y'ALL. Today is the day! We bring you our chat with writer, artist, dancer, quilter, human, our favorite buddy, and the one-and-only – Cody Cook Parrot!! From the ways they're learning to reparent themselves around money and the discomfort they feel in class jumping to the buoy they feel in trans love and weirdo community, Cody meets us with open-hearted transparency and LOL warmth. For more of Cody in your life, check out their website – this is where you can find their books, learn more about their podcast, sign up for their newsletter, or enroll in one of their classes. And don't forget to pre-order their upcoming book! The Practice of Attention Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World We're excited to share this one with you☀️ Tune in to hear us talk about: 🗒️ Cody's very first ritual practice. 🤸‍♀️ One way that Cody makes personal practice playful instead of punitive. 🫁 The 3 things Cody has been doing consistently for the longest. 💰 How reparenting is becoming a useful tool when little 9 year old Cody is sabotaging adult Cody's financial goals. 🧑‍🧑‍🧒 Linking reparenting with Internal Family Systems. 🏳️‍⚧️ The trans love and weirdo community that buoys Cody. ✌️ The words Cody's mentor said to them that helped them delete Instagram years later. 🎲 Taking the leap that aligns with our values before we know the outcome. 📖 Writing the book we needed. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Cody's very first podcast Have Company The book that invited Cody into their first personal practice – The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity Cody's money coach Hadassah Damien and their program "Ride Free Fearless Money" Cody's book How to Not Always Be Working Caitlin's book Feel Something Make Something Our episode with Amelia Hruby about leaving social media Pre-Order Cody's new book, The Practice of Attention Cultivating Presence in a Distracted World Cody's addition to the Scratch That Spotify playlist of songs that have held us – Joan Armatrading "Down To Zero" As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    51 min

  5. AUG 4

    🌪️ How Do We Not Know More About Postpartum Depression??

    On today's episode, we dive into our postpartum experiences, piecing together in hindsight what happened and why. Caitlin offers the plans they're building to set themselves up for sturdy support this time around. The stories we share are tender, the reflections wobbly, and the plans hopeful. Tune In to Hear Us Talk About: 🩺 The overwhelming lack of medical curiosity or understanding about PPD and menopause. 🕯️ When Caitlin realized they had capital P – Postpartum depression. 🚫 The horrible experience Caitlin had when they tried to reach out for medical support. ♿️ The roles disability and ableism played in Rebekah's postpartum experience. ❌ A few reasons it can be difficult to tell anyone about your PPD symptoms. 🤝 What is Caitlin doing differently with this pregnancy to prepare for Postpartum? 🛒 The very practical, tangible, helpful thing Caitlin's sister is doing to build in supports for this postpartum stretch. 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒 The broad number of people who can experience PPD beyond a birthing parent. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What were your experiences around postpartum? And what help have you received or offered during postpartum that felt especially helpful? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    36 min

  6. JUL 28

    🎙️ Caitlin's BFF Kaplan Trudo Interviews Us About Becoming Parents

    Today on Scratch That we are the ones being interviewed! Caitlin's wise and warm BFF, Kaplan Trudo is wading into the process of deciding whether or not to pursue becoming a parent and wants to hear from us. How did we decide we wanted to become parents? What does it feel like to co-parent with another person? They dig in with questions we never thought to ask before becoming parents ourselves. Want more of Kaplan? You can find their writing and some yoga practices (recorded as love notes to Caitlin 🥹) on Patreon or follow their Instagram. Tune in to hear us talk about: 🔍 What becoming parents showed us about our partners and how it shifted our relationships. ✅ The one thing Rebekah wishes she'd thought more about before becoming a parent. 🕸️ Parenting as a big group project. 🧑‍🧒‍🧒 Caitlin's epiphany about their relationship with their partner as the third client in the therapy room. 🏆 A reframe for the parent who really, really wants to "get it right." 👴 Staying connected to our children/parents as we all get older. 🎮 What happens when our values don't align with our co-parents? Mentioned In Today's Episode: Our conversation with Shane and Hannah Burcaw where they describe their thoughts on intergenerational living. Our conversation with Kate Wieners where she talks about using percentage ratings for how important something is to each partner. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What question do you think prospective parents should be asking? What questions do you have about parenting? Or what questions do you wish you'd asked before you became one? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    59 min

  7. JUL 21

    ⚡️ Writing Family Manifestos and Trying Again

    We gave ourselves a homework assignment – huddle up with our partners and our kids and write a little family manifesto. How simple! How fun! How sweet! LOL. Turns out it might be a bit trickier than our rosy idealism pictured. Today, we share the ragged and the spectacular parts of the experience, offer up the manifestos we made, and brainstorm what we want to try next time. Tune In to Hear Up Talk About: 🌟 The stakes of manifesto writing that tripped us up from the start. 🔍 What the process of this project revealed to us about ourselves and our families. 🎵 The part of the creation process when Rebekah's family really got on board. 📜 Manifestos as a living breathing document. 🧠 A juicy brainstorm of different manifesto mediums to try. 📋 Caitlin's mini workshop on the purpose of a manifesto and how to approach making one. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Listen to Rebekah's family's manifesto here. Our conversation with S. Bear Bergman And his book – Special Topics in Being a Parent: A Queer and Tender Guide to Things I've Learned About Parenting, Mostly the Hard Way Caitlin always recommends using Lisa Congdon's Values Deck to kick off a manifesto draft. The manifesto workbook Caitlin uses in their workshops (attached below!) As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What questions do you have about manifesto writing? What sounds daunting or exciting about them? If you end up trying this, let us know how it goes! Ragged, spectacular, or anything in between – all parts are welcome. 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    38 min

  8. JUL 14

    ⚡️ The Parenting Goals We're Letting Go

    This episode is a happy goodbye to all the good parenting goals we are sending off to sea. There is only so much we can prioritize, so much energy, so many battles to fight and hills to die on. Today, we each share three parenting goals we really do value, but can't value enough to keep beating our heads against the wall for. Mentioned In Today's Episode: Sarah Knight's TED Talk "The Magic of Not Giving a F***" Our conversation with S. Bear Bergman where he talks about choosing 2-3 things to teach our kids. Our conversation with James and Lucy Catchpole where they talk about limitations as the parameters for a particular, beautiful life. As Always: Check out Caitlin and Rebekah's Book Shop! Here you can find every book mentioned in our episodes, as well as a few additional faves. Use this link to get a 25% discount on a PokPok subcription! And if you haven't listened yet, check out our interview with PokPok creators, Esther and Melissa. We would love to hear from you! What are the parenting goals you're ditching, dropping, toasting, gently releasing? 🍎 Apple 🟢 Spotify Find Rebekah on Substack & Caitlin on Instagram ✨

    43 min
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About

Scratch That is a weekly podcast with queer illustrator Caitlin Metz and disabled storyteller Rebekah Taussig, two friends trying to figure out how to be parents and people at the same time. Caitlin and Rebekah delve into heartfelt, honest conversations with caregivers who are going off script, starting from scratch, and building alternate paths. Join our community on Patreon!

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