Self Talk with Rachel Astarte

Rachel Astarte, LMFT
  • 5.0 (15)
  • SELF-IMPROVEMENT
  • UPDATED BIMONTHLY

Self Talk takes a conversational look at how we can show up in the world—for the world. If you're on a journey to your true self, this is your next stop.

  1. NOV 4

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Creating Boundaries, Not Walls

    Send Rachel a text message. In this episode of Self Talk, we discuss the true purpose of healthy boundaries—and why they’re actually acts of compassion, not separation.  Beginning with the core mantra, “My boundaries benefit both of us,” we'll reframe boundaries as soulful practices that protect our inner peace while deepening authentic connection. We'll also unpack the difference between walls and boundaries, the role of the underdeveloped ego in boundary resistance, and how consulting our Highest Self can transform difficult exchanges into moments of clarity, honesty, and mutual respect. You'll walk away with a clearer understanding of what boundaries are, how to recognize when one is needed, and simple, compassionate steps for setting limits rooted in love—for self and others. ✨ Bonus for Listeners Paid subscribers to Rachel’s Substack, Foundation of Self, will receive exclusive access to her full one-hour Boundaries, Not Walls training video. And as a thank-you for tuning in today, Rachel is offering a free 3-month paid subscription so you can experience the work deeply and at your own pace. Claim it here: http://rachelastarte.substack.com/selftalk A heart-centered, grounding conversation for anyone ready to build healthier relationships through clarity, compassion, and courage. Timeline: [0:00:00] IntroductionQuote on boundaries and the value of self.[0:00:24] Applying Inner Work ExternallySetting the tone: using non-judgment, awareness, and gentleness in interactions with others.[0:01:08] Boundaries Mantra Shared“My boundaries benefit both of us.”[0:01:18] Traditional Understanding vs. True PurposeBoundaries as bridges (not walls).[0:02:02] Definition of BoundariesBoundaries as acts of self-respect and relational respect. [0:02:52] Consequences of Lack of BoundariesPeople-pleasing, burnout, building unhealthy walls vs. healthy boundaries.[0:03:25] When to Set BoundariesSignals that a boundary is needed (feeling drained, resentful, anxious, guilty).[0:04:16] Inner Resistance and the “Small s Self”Addressing fear voices, moving to listen to the Highest Self for healthier boundaries.[0:05:38] How to Build Healthy Boundaries — 3 Steps[0:07:19] When Others Don’t Honor Your BoundariesStep-by-step response[0:10:16] Personal and Relational BenefitsIncreased freedom, confidence, authenticity; deeper relationships.[0:10:58] Addressing People-PleasersImportance of boundaries for even the most compassionate individuals.[0:11:41] Example: Jesus and the Money ChangersBiblical illustration emphasizing strong and compassionate boundaries.[0:13:01] Closing InvitationEncouragement to practice loving boundaries.Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    15 min

  2. OCT 7

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Evolving the Underdeveloped Ego

    Send Rachel a text message. In this episode, we explore the underdeveloped ego—the "small s self" that keeps us playing small, doubting our worth, and resisting change. You’ll learn what the underdeveloped ego is, how it shows up as negative self-talk and impostor syndrome, and why it fears your awakening. We'll talk about how the ego’s resistance isn’t the enemy—it’s a sign that growth is happening. Through understanding, compassion, and conscious evolution, the underdeveloped ego can mature into a developed one: a balanced, integrated self that serves your Highest purpose rather than fighting against it. Transformation isn’t about killing the ego—it’s about teaching it to grow with you. Join us for Write Yourself Open every second and fourth Tuesday at 1pm Eastern to use meditation, writing, and community discussion to reconnect with your highest self. Learn more and register at writeyourselfopen.com or find it on foundationofself.com or rachelestartetherapy.com. • • • Timeline: 0:00:00 – Introduction Rachel Astarte opens the episode, introduces the season’s theme of building a foundation of self, and presents the topic: the underdeveloped ego.0:01:00 – What is the Underdeveloped Ego? Explanation of the ego’s role, referencing Carol S. Pearson.Introduction of the “small s self” or primitive ego and its need for validation and safety.0:03:00 – How the Underdeveloped Ego Manifests Discussion of negative self-talk, imposter syndrome, anxiety, and depression as signs of the underdeveloped ego.Examples of how the ego tries to protect us but keeps us small.0:06:23 – The Ego’s Deepest Fear The primitive ego’s fear of “obliteration” or ego death.How this fear leads to resistance against personal growth and awakening.0:08:00 – Differentiating the Small Self and Highest Self How to recognize the voice of the underdeveloped ego versus the higher self.Physical and emotional cues for each.0:09:39 – Transforming the Ego The goal is not to destroy the ego but to help it evolve into a balanced, developed ego.The developed ego as a bridge between human identity and pure consciousness.0:10:30 – Practical Steps for Ego Development Awareness: noticing when the small self is speaking.Dialog: compassionate conversation with the ego.Compassionate reframing: seeing fear as a sign of growth.Integration: bringing moments of higher self-awareness into daily Write Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    19 min

  3. SEP 2

    Building Your Foundation of Self—You Are Your Highest Self

    Send Rachel a text message. The highest self isn't an idealized version of ourselves to strive for, but rather our preconditioned consciousness that has always been present within us. • Our highest self is like a blank sheet of paper upon which our life experiences are written • Reconnecting with our highest self shifts inner work from fixing ourselves to remembering who we truly are • When connected to our highest self, we respond rather than react in relationships • Four practices to reconnect: stillness, writing as dialogue, self-compassion, and presence in daily life • Notice moments when you feel merged with your highest self—during calm moments, while in nature, or engaged in activities you love • Inner work isn't about becoming someone else but remembering who you already are Join us for Write Yourself Open every second and fourth Tuesday at 1pm Eastern to use meditation, writing, and community discussion to reconnect with your highest self. Learn more and register at writeyourselfopen.com or find it on foundationofself.com or rachelestartetherapy.com. • • • Timeline: 0:00:00 Rachel introduces the concept that there is no "higher self" to search for; you are already your highest self, and the task is to let go of false ideas about yourself, a reference to Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, a spiritual teacher. 0:00:28 Host Rachel Astarte welcomes listeners and explains the ongoing "Building Your Foundation of Self" series, focusing today on the "highest self." [0:01:00–0:05:27] Rachel defines the "highest self" as the pure, original consciousness within everyone—not an ideal to strive for, but the essence that is always present. She explains why reconnecting with the highest self is important for authentic inner work and avoiding burnout from constant self-improvement. 0:05:27 Transition to practical advice. [0:05:28–0:08:01] Rachel shares four practical ways to reconnect with the highest self: stillness/meditation, writing as dialogue, self-compassion, and presence in daily life. She provides tips for each method. [0:08:01–0:08:05] Encouragement to listen quietly for the answer from your highest self. [0:08:05–0:11:50] Rachel gives examples of how listeners may have already experienced their highest self and invites them to notice and journal these moments. She emphasizes that inner work is about remembering who you are, not becoming someone else, and previews the topic of the next episode, the underdeveloped ego. 0:11:50 Rachel invites listeners to join the "Write Yourself Open" program for further exploration and support, providing details on how to join and Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    13 min

  4. JUL 8

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Mastering Self-talk

    Send Rachel a text message. Be mindful of your self-talk, it’s a conversation with the Universe. —David James Lees This podcast episode focuses on negative self-talk, exploring how destructive internal dialogues are learned, not inherent.  Rachel provides a four-step process to transform negative self-talk: 1.        Awareness without judgment: Notice the critical inner voice without self-criticism 2.        Identify the source: Recognize that negative thoughts often come from external influences, not your true self 3.        Call in the Highest Self: Connect with your inner wisdom and eternal consciousness 4.        Rewrite the script: Replace negative thoughts with compassionate, validating statements The episode emphasizes that the inner critic is not bad, but scared, and should be met with curiosity and compassion.  Rachel uses the Cherokee tale of two wolves to illustrate how we choose which internal voice to "feed"—the one of fear or the one of love. Key Message You are not your negative thoughts. Your highest self is wise, loving, and connected to collective consciousness.   Link to Rachel's Substack, Foundation of Self Link to 3-month free paid subscription. "The Story of Two Wolves" courtesy of Lakota Circles of Hope  Music: "Journey Circle Song" written and performed by Rachel Astarte   • • • Timeline: 0:00:00 - Introduction begins, quote about self-talk 0:00:21 - Rachel Astarte welcomes listeners to the episode 0:01:21 - Explanation of how negative self-talk is learned 0:02:34 - Step one: Awareness without judgment 0:03:31 - Transition to step two 0:03:37 - Step two: Identify the source of negative self-talk 0:04:51 - Step three: Calling in the foundation of self 0:05:16 - Detailed explanation of the highest self 0:07:09 - Step four: Rewriting the script 0:08:38 - Cherokee tale of two wolves begins 0:10:29 - Conclusion of the two wolves story 0:11:05 - Wrapping up the main discussion 0:11:14 - Mention of August break 0:12:28 - Final closing remarks 0:12:30 - End of podcast Write Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    15 min

  5. JUN 3

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Walking the Path of Awakening

    Send Rachel a text message. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside awakes. —Carl Jung In this episode, we explore the concept of awakening—a profound shift in consciousness where you recognize your interconnectedness with all existence. We'll delve into the spiritual and psychological dimensions of awakening, drawing from traditions like Zen Buddhism, Taoism, and Hinduism. Most importantly, we'll look at how awakening transforms personal perception, challenging the ego's self-centered worldview. We'll also address the inevitable changes in relationships that happen once we set foot on the awakened path, the importance of inner work, and the need for nonjudgment and gentleness during personal growth. Key Highlights Awakening is a perceptional shift in consciousnessThe ego resists understanding of interconnectednessRelationships naturally change during personal transformationInner work requires patience and self-compassionIndividual growth contributes to collective consciousnessAwareness is the primary tool for personal developmentOne cannot force awakening in othersPersonal healing impacts the broader communitySpiritual growth is a continuous, lifelong journeyUnderstanding interconnectedness leads to a more expansive worldviewTimeline: 0:00:00 - Opening quote by Carl Jung about looking inside to awaken 0:00:21 - Introduction to the concept of awakening Defined as a perceptional shift in consciousnessUnderstanding interconnectedness with all things0:01:42 - Exploration of awakening across different spiritual traditions Zen Buddhism (Satori)Taoism (Primal unified awareness)Hinduism (Sat Chit Ananda)0:02:24 - Two key things that happen during awakening: Realizing interconnectednessEgo's resistance to this new awareness0:05:50 - Relationships change during awakening Existing relationships may end or transform0:06:07 - Systems theory explanation Disruption of homeostasis in relationships Others may resist or react to one's personal transformation0:08:37 - Key insights on personal growth: Cannot force awakening in othersNeed to be present and lovingRespect others' individual journeys0:10:00 - Being on the awakened path means: Shifting worldviewContinuous inner workClearing personal misalignments0:11:51 - Practical approach to awakening: Non-judgmentAwarenessGentlenessPatience with personal growth0:15:20 - Concluding message: Individual contribution is essential to the wholePersonal inner work impacts community healthGot a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    17 min

  6. MAY 6

    Building Your Foundation of Self—Gentleness, the Healing Salve

    Send Rachel a text message. What you do for yourself, any gesture of kindness, any gesture of gentleness, any gesture of honesty and clear seeing toward yourself, will…transform how you experience the world. What you do for yourself, you’re doing for others, and what you do for others, you’re doing for yourself. —Pema Chodron This episode discusses the transformative concept of gentleness as a core principle of inner work.  Discover how being gentle with yourself can heal wounds, reduce self-judgment, and create profound personal growth. Learn about the origins of gentleness, how to practice self-compassion, and why being a "gentle warrior" is a sign of true strength. Timeline: 0:00-1:22 - Introduction to gentleness as the third core principle of inner work 1:23-3:53 - Etymology and historical meanings of "gentleness" 4:04-5:31 - Exploring self-reflection and softening personal judgments 5:45-9:34 - Addressing fears about being gentle and transforming negative self-talk 9:55-11:29 - The importance of gentleness in personal growth and collective consciousness 11:40-13:36 - Gentleness as strength, not weakness, with examples from the Gentle Warrior Program 13:55-14:22 - Closing thoughts and invitation to be gentle with oneself •• Correction: The Bible quote on gentleness is from Galatians 5:22-23 •• Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    15 min

  7. APR 1

    Building Your Foundation of Self—The Tool of Awareness

    Send Rachel a text message. You are awareness. Awareness is another name for you. Since you are awareness there is no need to attain or cultivate it. All that you have to do is to give up being aware of other things; that is, of the not-Self. If one gives up being aware of them then pure awareness alone remains, and that is the Self. —Ramana Maharshi We continue our series on the Foundation of Self with the primary tool: Awareness. Awareness offers a pathway to understand both our conscious mind, behaviors, emotions, and our deeper universal connection to everything around us. • Awareness is the conscious act of placing our attention on something with metaconsciousness • Differentiating between the two selves: the small 's' ego self versus the capital 'S' true Self • Body awareness (interoception) helps us feel sensations and emotions rather than just thinking about them • All beings share the same universal consciousness, supported by concepts like quantum entanglement • Awareness helps detect when we're out of alignment so we can course-correct without judgment • The small 's' self speaks from fear while the capital 'S' Self offers compassionate perspective • Integrating both selves creates "Zorba the Buddha" – being fully human while maintaining spiritual awareness • We are generators of energy who create our world through how we choose to live in it Here's the link to the free download of Ramana Maharshi's book, Who Am I? Have a question? Comment? Email me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe, share your thoughts, and leave a review to spread the word. xo RA ________________ Episode Breakdown 0:00:00 - 0:00:42 - Introduction Quote from Ramana Maharshi about awarenessPodcast host Rachel Astarte introduces the topic0:00:42 - 0:02:15 - Defining Awareness Explanation of awareness as consciously placing attentionMeta-consciousness exercise with focusing on an object0:02:15 - 0:07:47 - Types of Awareness Awareness of self (mind and body)Body awareness/interoception exerciseGuided 30-second body awareness meditation0:07:47 - 0:11:30 - Awareness of Interconnectedness Advaita Vedanta philosophyQuantum entanglement discussionConcept of unity and energy communication0:11:30 - 0:15:30 - Awareness in Practice Non-judgment approachDistinguishing between small s self and capital S selfExamples of ego-based vs. true self thinking0:15:30 - 0:17:35 - Concluding Thoughts Balancing Zorba and Buddha conceptsBeing an ambassador of sourceEncouragement for inner work and self-awareness0:17:35 - End Podcast Outro Invitation for listener emails and questionsTeaser for next episode on gentleness(Courtesy of Otter.ai) Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    18 min

  8. MAR 4

    Building Your Foundation of Self—The Power of Nonjudgment

    Send Rachel a text message. For the wakeful, one whose mind is quiet, whose thoughts are undisturbed, who has relinquished judgment and blame, there is no fear. —Buddha Today's talk continues the deep dive into Foundation of Self work with an in-depth review of nonjudgment, the lifeblood of this inner work. We explore why humans judge (the need for safety), the different types of judgment (appearance, sociability, morality), and how judgment often stems from survival instincts and projection of our own hidden aspects.  You'll even have a chance to practice nonjudgment with yourself.  Have a question? Comment? Email me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com. Don't forget to subscribe, share your thoughts, and leave a review to spread the word. xo RA ________________ Episode Breakdown  0:00:25 - Episode Introduction Rachel introduces the topic of non-judgment0:03:39 - Understanding Judgment Why humans judge and its survival purposesThree fundamental ways of judging: appearance, sociability, morality0:05:00 - Carl Jung's Projection and Shadow Concept Explanation of how we project disowned parts of ourselves onto others0:07:49 - Non-Judgment of Ourselves Benefits of practicing non-judgment Avoiding comparison trapsCreating connection with othersGaining clarity and peace of mind0:11:16 - Imposter Syndrome and Self-Judgment Examples of negative self-talkReframing techniques for self-judgment0:14:14 - Why Non-Judgment is Vital in Self-Work How judgment stops personal progressImportance of gentle self-encouragement0:16:41 - Non-Judgment Exercise Practical exercise for reframing self-judgmental thoughtsExample of Rachel's personal reframing0:17:50 - Closing Remarks Encouragement to be gentle with oneselfPreview of next episode on awareness(Courtesy of Otter.ai) Write Your Self Open is a revolution in self-development that blends guided meditation, journaling, and supportive group discussion led by holistic psychotherapist Rachel Astarte. It's all the benefits of personal transformation + community-building without the constraints of talk therapy.Join anytime. No previous meditation or writing experience necessary.http://writeyourselfopen.com Got a question about your self? Send it to me at rachel@selftalkpodcast.com and it may be featured on a future episode.  Support the show • Subscribe here, at youtube.com/@selftalkpodcast, or wherever you get podcasts. • Music: "Ave Marimba" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0

    22 min
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About

Self Talk takes a conversational look at how we can show up in the world—for the world. If you're on a journey to your true self, this is your next stop.

Information

  • Creator
    Rachel Astarte, LMFT
  • Years Active
    2019 - 2025
  • Episodes
    140
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025 Self Talk with Rachel Astarte
  • Show Website
    Self Talk with Rachel Astarte