1D AGO

Are You Shrinking or Expanding? Taking Up Space & Facing the Fear of Being Seen

Episode Summary In this episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Danielle Colborne and Dr. Maria Christina Stewart explore a powerful and deeply relatable question: Are you shrinking or expanding? They unpack the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways we hold ourselves back—from avoiding visibility and staying silent, to hiding behind clothing or self-doubt. This conversation goes beyond body image to touch on authenticity, fear, growth, and what it really means to take up space in your life. Whether you’ve found yourself dimming your voice, avoiding opportunities, or feeling caught between wanting to be seen and wanting to disappear, this episode offers compassionate insight and practical ways to move toward expansion—at your own pace. ✨ In This Episode, We Cover: What it means to “shrink” vs. “expand” in everyday life The many ways hiding shows up (speech, behavior, body, and choices) Fear of visibility and the vulnerability of being seen Why even positive growth and success can feel scary The role of self-compassion, grace, and emotional awareness How to identify and challenge feared outcomes Building distress tolerance when things don’t go as planned The importance of values and your personal “why” Taking small, meaningful steps toward showing up more fully Navigating body image, clothing choices, and safety considerations 🔍 Key Takeaways Hiding is common and human—it can show up in many areas of life, not just body image. Fear doesn’t mean stop—it’s something to understand, validate, and work with. Thoughts aren’t facts—others’ opinions don’t define your truth. Worst-case scenarios are survivable—you are more capable than your fear suggests. Expansion is a practice—small, intentional steps create meaningful change over time. You get to define what “taking up space” looks like for you, in a way that feels safe and authentic. 🌱 Reflection Questions Where in your life might you be shrinking right now? What fears come up when you think about being more visible? What is one small step you could take toward expanding this week? What values or “why” might support you in showing up more fully? 💬 Notable Moments The idea that growth—even positive change—can trigger fear and self-doubt A personal example of “shrinking” through avoidance and how awareness shifted action Imagining worst-case scenarios as a way to build resilience and confidence The reminder that even the most celebrated creators face criticism ⚠️ Disclaimer This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, please consider reaching out to a qualified mental health professional. 💛 Connect & Share If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might benefit or leaving a review to help others find the show. 🌿 Closing Thought As you move through your week, gently notice: Where are you shrinking—and where might you be ready, even just a little, to expand?

28 min

MAR 30

When the Feelings Get Loud: Staying the Course Through Discomfort

When you start making space for what truly matters, difficult emotions often follow. In this final episode of our March Spring Cleaning the Mind series, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn explore what to do when challenging emotions such as fear, shame, anxiety, or self-doubt show up - especially when you’re stepping outside of old patterns and into growth. These emotions can feel like a signal to stop. But what if they’re not a sign you’re on the wrong path… but simply part of the process? In this conversation, we walk through practical, compassionate ways to respond to difficult emotions so they don’t derail you from what matters most. In This Episode, We Discuss:Why difficult emotions often increase during periods of growthThe difference between feelings and factsHow emotions act as messengers—not directivesA simple, powerful framework: Notice → Label → Validate → CareWhy naming your emotions can actually help calm your brainHow to respond to emotions with self-compassion instead of avoidanceWays to care for yourself when emotions feel “sticky”The connection between love, fear, and vulnerabilityHow allowing a full range of emotions leads to a fuller life Key TakeawayGrowth isn’t about getting rid of difficult emotions. It’s about learning how to make space for them—without letting them decide your path. Reflection PromptWhen a difficult emotion shows up this week, ask yourself: Can I make space for this feeling—and still take one small step toward what matters? What’s NextNext month, we begin a new theme: Coming Out of Hiding We’ll explore what it means to take up space in your life—through how you show up, how you express yourself, and how you move through the fear of being seen. DisclaimerThis podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek professional support. Connect With UsIf this episode resonated with you, please subscribe to our show, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit. It helps these conversations reach more people.

18 min

MAR 25

Clearing the Noise: Reclaiming Space from Worries about Eating, Shape and Weight

Show NotesIn this episode of Selves Unedited, Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart continue their “spring cleaning the mind” series by exploring a form of mental clutter many people quietly carry: persistent thoughts about food, body weight, and shape. These thoughts can feel overwhelming, convincing, and constant—but what if the goal isn’t to eliminate them, but to change your relationship with them? Danielle and Maria zoom out to examine how our environments, habits, and internal patterns shape the mental noise we experience. They share practical, compassionate tools to help you step back from unhelpful thoughts, create more mental space, and reconnect with what truly matters. 🌱 In This Episode, We Explore:Why you can’t control your thoughts—but you can influence your environmentHow daily behaviors (like social media use or tracking habits) reinforce mental clutterThe hidden impact of avoidance and how it strengthens fear-based thinkingCommon cognitive distortions (all-or-nothing thinking, mind reading, catastrophizing)Why “fixing” thoughts isn’t always the most effective strategy Tools to Create More Mental Space:Set Yourself Up for Success: Take an honest look at your environment—what you consume, who you’re around, and what messages you’re reinforcing daily.Notice Patterns, Not Just Thoughts: Identify recurring thinking styles like extremes or assumptions about others.Externalize the Inner Critic: Give your thoughts a name (e.g., “anxiety mind,” “perfectionist voice”) to create distance and perspective.Practice Detachment Over Debate: Instead of arguing with thoughts, allow them to exist while continuing to live your life.Use Humor as a Tool: Turning harsh thoughts into something playful (like a cartoon voice) can reduce their intensity.Write It Out: Journaling can help you see thoughts more clearly and even “dialogue” with them from a grounded, wise perspective. Key TakeawaysMental clutter often reflects what we repeatedly expose ourselves to and practice.You don’t need to eliminate difficult thoughts to feel better.Creating even a little distance from your thoughts can be powerful.Real change happens through both external shifts and internal awareness.With consistent practice, your relationship to your thoughts can change over time. ⚠️ ReminderThis podcast is not a substitute for therapy. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional. 💬 Loved This Episode?If this conversation resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who might benefit. Your support helps more people find these discussions.

16 min

MAR 16

Growth Through Small Experiments

In this short episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn continue the March theme of Spring Cleaning the Mind by exploring a gentle approach to change with small experiments. When we try to grow or shift long-standing habits, it’s common for uncomfortable thoughts and emotions to arise. That discomfort can make change feel overwhelming or even impossible. Instead of treating growth like a test we have to pass, Drs. Stewart and Colborn suggest approaching it with curiosity—taking small, manageable steps and observing what we learn along the way. Together, they discuss how breaking change into small behavioral experiments can help us move forward. In This EpisodeHow big changes can feel overwhelming—and why small steps helpUsing experiments when approaching growthHow anticipatory anxiety can make situations feel scarier than they actually areExamples of behavioral experiments related to clothing, body image, and self-comfortWhy holding onto “goal clothes” can keep us stuck in painful thinking patternsHow small actions can help shift both behavior and mindset A Question to Reflect OnWhat is one small experiment you could try this week that aligns with what truly matters to you? Try breaking it down into three manageable steps to help you get started. Enjoying the Podcast?If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a rating or review, or sharing the episode with someone who might benefit. Your support helps more people find these conversations. DisclaimerThis podcast is intended for educational purposes only and is not therapy or a substitute for professional care. If you or someone you know is struggling, we encourage seeking support from a qualified mental health professional.

14 min

MAR 11

Spring Cleaning the Mind: What to do When Fear Tries to Stop You

OverviewAs part of the Spring Cleaning the Mind theme, Dr. Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart explore a common experience that arises when we try to make meaningful changes: fear. Even when we move toward something positive, fear and self-doubt can appear. The hosts share their own experience of questioning whether their previous episode was “good enough,” highlighting how easily our minds can create negative narratives that aren’t grounded in reality. Key TakeawaysFear often appears at the edge of growth. It doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path.Don’t automatically believe your thoughts. Thoughts are mental events, not necessarily facts.Pause and gather data. Check whether your fears are actually supported by reality.Avoid avoidance. Facing fears in small steps helps reduce them over time.Don’t let perfectionism stop progress. Focus on “good enough” rather than perfect. ReflectionInstead of asking, “How do I get rid of this fear?” try asking: “How can I move forward wisely, even while fear is here?”

12 min

MAR 2

A New Season of Becoming: What Are You Ready to Grow?

March feels like a beginning. In this season opener of Selves Unedited, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn explore what it means to grow intentionally — not by fixing ourselves, but by making room for what is important and meaningful to us. We talk about: Why growth isn’t a one-time decision but a returnHow fear quietly shrinks our livesThe cognitive and emotional space taken up by body image, comparison, and self-criticismThe illusion that control will make us happyWhy meaningful living often requires tolerating discomfort Instead of asking, “How do I fix myself?” We’re asking, “What do I want to make room for?” This episode invites you to consider what’s currently taking up too much space in your mind — and what might become possible if it softened. In This Episode, We Explore: 🌿 Growth as an intentional, ongoing process🌿 How perfectionism and comparison crowd out joy🌿 The protective function of food and body preoccupation🌿 Fear as both protector and life-shrinker🌿 The difference between control and care🌿 Healing as expansion rather than achievement Reflection Questions As you move through this season, consider: What is taking up too much space in my mind right now?What feels like it’s shrinking my life?If that softened, what would I have more energy for?What do I want to grow more of this spring? A Note From Us A challenging relationship with food, your body, or yourself overall doesn’t just affect how you look and feel. It shapes how you move through the world. It consumes attention. It narrows your focus. Healing isn’t about achieving the perfect mindset. It’s about expansion. More presence. More energy. More choice. We invite you to tune-in and join this journey of growth with us. Disclaimer Please remember: this podcast is not therapy or a substitute for therapy. If you or someone you care about is struggling, we encourage you to seek support from a qualified professional. Connect With Us on LinkedIn: Dr. Danielle Colborn DrMariaChristina If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit.

23 min

06/04/2025

The Authentic Self, Part 2: Tiny Tweaks That Change Everything

In this follow-up episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn return to the topic of authenticity—this time focusing on practical ways to navigate the space between external pressure and internal truth. They explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) forces that shape our image decisions—everything from fashion trends and social comparison to fears about how we’re perceived. Whether you're a teenager figuring out your style or an adult navigating aging, image, or identity, this conversation offers tools to help you pause, reflect, and reconnect with what you actually want. What You'll Learn:🔹 How to tell if a decision is driven by fear or grounded in self-confidence 🔹 The role of language—“I have to” vs. “I want to”—in revealing our motivation 🔹 How social and cultural messages influence our sense of authenticity 🔹 Why image decisions can feel high-stakes 🔹 What true authenticity feels like—and how to move toward it Notable Insights:💬 If you notice that it’s fear-based, it might be a clue that it’s not aligned with authenticity. 💬 We’re all influenced—no one is completely untouched. The goal isn’t to escape influence, but to recognize it. 💬 Grace matters. For ourselves, our kids, our families—we’re all doing our best to figure this out. If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who might benefit!

14 min

06/02/2025

The Authentic Self - Navigating Image and Identity

In this introspective episode of Selves Unedited, clinical psychologists Dr. Danielle Colborn and Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart embark on a profound exploration of personal authenticity and image. Drawing from their extensive experience in eating disorder therapy, the hosts challenge listeners to examine the deeper motivations behind their image-related decisions. They ask critical questions: When do personal choices become a form of self-erasure? How can we truly understand the "why" behind our desire to change?Perfect for anyone seeking deeper self-understanding, this episode offers compassionate, evidence-based insights into the intricate relationship between self-image and personal authenticity. Key Discussion Highlights: • The psychological landscape of body and image choices • Unpacking the complex motivations behind self-enhancement • Distinguishing between genuine self-expression and external pressures • The delicate balance of self-acceptance and personal transformation

26 min

03/18/2025

Self-Love: More Than Just a Buzzword

Summary: What does self-love really mean? In this episode of Selves Unedited, Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn explore the deep and often misunderstood concept of self-love—beyond affirmations, self-care routines, and the pressure to always feel good about yourself. They discuss how self-love is rooted in self-acceptance, grace, and authenticity, and why it’s a lifelong process, not a destination. If you’ve ever felt like you need to "fix" yourself to be worthy of love, or if you've struggled with self-criticism and perfectionism, this conversation is for you. Notable Moments from the Episode:💡 “Self-love isn’t about reaching a perfect state—it’s about embracing yourself as you are.” 💡 “We would never tell a friend, ‘I’ll love you more if you change.’ Why do we do that to ourselves?” 💡 “Rest isn’t something you earn after being productive. It’s something you deserve because you’re human.” Key Topics Covered:✅ The difference between self-love and self-care – and why both matter ✅ Why self-love isn’t about feeling great all the time – but about self-acceptance ✅ The myth that "you must love yourself before others can love you" ✅ How societal pressures & perfectionism get in the way of self-love ✅ The role of authenticity and setting boundaries in loving yourself ✅ Self-love in relationships: treating ourselves with the same kindness we show others ✅ The connection between self-love, rest, and emotional well-being Resources & Links:📖 Resources by Dr. Kristin Neff on self-compassion 🎧 Previous episode on self-care: What Does Taking Care of Yourself in 2025 Really Mean? Connect with Us:🔗 Follow us or suggest a topic: LinkedIn: Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart & Dr. Danielle Colborn Substack: Dr. Maria-Christina ⭐ If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review—it helps others find the podcast!

43 min

02/19/2025

What Does Taking Care of Yourself in 2025 Really Mean?

Episode Summary:In this episode, Dr. Danielle Colborn and Maria-Christina Stewart dive into what self-care truly looks like in 2025. With the rise of wellness trends, hustle culture, and digital overwhelm, taking care of yourself has never been more important—or more complicated. They explore the myths around self-care, the pressures of modern life, and the real strategies that actually make a difference in physical and mental well-being. Key Topics Covered:Why the traditional definition of self-care needs to evolveHow societal pressures make it harder to prioritize well-beingThe fine line between self-improvement and self-criticismThe role of technology in both helping and harming mental healthWhy self-care isn’t about perfection but about sustainabilityPractical ways to care for yourself in 2025 without guilt Chapters: 00:00 Redefining Self-Care in 2025 02:53 The Importance of Mindfulness and Meaning 05:18 Navigating Discomfort in Self-Care 08:16 Setting Boundaries for Wellbeing 10:47 Finding Balance and Moderation 13:27 Realistic Goal Setting for Self-Care 16:19 Holistic Approaches to Physical Health 23:30 Redefining Exercise and Self-Care 25:49 The Dangers of Goal-Oriented Fitness 29:41 Embracing Imperfection in Life 35:08 Authenticity vs. Perfectionism 39:17 Parenting and Self-Care in Challenging Times

44 min

12/20/2024

Managing Holiday Stress and Eating with Meaning, Grace, and Self-Compassion

Welcome to the First Episode of Selves Unedited! Co-hosted by Dr. Maria-Christina Stewart and Dr. Danielle Colborn, Selves Unedited is your go-to podcast for exploring eating difficulties, body image, and self-love through heartfelt conversations and evidence-based insights. In our debut episode, we dive into the unique challenges of the holiday season and share practical strategies to help you navigate this time with intention, grace, and self-compassion. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: How to create a holiday season based on your values and what brings you meaningPractical tips for planning meals, managing stress, and finding balance during the holidays.Why living by your values and practicing self-compassion, especially during the stressful holiday season, are essential—and how to start.How parents can support their children in recovery while taking care of their own well-being.The role of discomfort in recovery and how to approach it in manageable steps.The importance of seeking professional support.How to support yourself and loved ones with grace, especially when managing recovery. Whether you’re in recovery, supporting a loved one, or just looking to foster a healthier relationship with food and yourself, this episode offers meaningful insights to guide you through the holiday season. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 04:08 Setting Intentions for the Holidays 07:41 The Importance of Flexibility 11:55 Managing Eating During the Holidays 15:27 Building a Healthy Relationship with Food 20:47 Refocusing on Values and Enjoyment 21:48 The Impact of Negative Self-Talk 22:47 Acceptance and Mindfulness in Social Settings 26:19 The Importance of Grace 27:31 Navigating Holiday Challenges for College Students 31:22 Conscious Choices and Intentions 32:48 Self-Compassion and Grace in Recovery 33:51 Supporting Parents of Children with Eating Disorders 38:18 Addressing Eating Challenges During the Holidays Join Us on This Journey: We’re so excited to launch Selves Unedited and share this space with you! If you enjoy this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit. Connect with Us: Dr. Danielle Colborn: Check out her website and find her on LinkedIn and X (formerly Twitter).Dr. Maria-Christina: Check out her website and connect with her on LinkedIn and Instagram. Let’s build a community of support and understanding together. Live fully, love yourself, and embrace what truly makes life meaningful. Subscribe and Follow Us to stay updated on upcoming episodes and resources by following Selves Unedited on your favorite podcast platform.

45 min

Selves Unedited

Episodes

Are You Shrinking or Expanding? Taking Up Space & Facing the Fear of Being Seen

When the Feelings Get Loud: Staying the Course Through Discomfort

Clearing the Noise: Reclaiming Space from Worries about Eating, Shape and Weight

Growth Through Small Experiments

Spring Cleaning the Mind: What to do When Fear Tries to Stop You

A New Season of Becoming: What Are You Ready to Grow?

The Authentic Self, Part 2: Tiny Tweaks That Change Everything

The Authentic Self - Navigating Image and Identity

Self-Love: More Than Just a Buzzword

What Does Taking Care of Yourself in 2025 Really Mean?

Managing Holiday Stress and Eating with Meaning, Grace, and Self-Compassion

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