I myself am a victim of sexual assault. Not at the horrifying levels described in this case, thankfully. But I do deeply understand the importance of believing women, even when there isn’t “hard evidence” of their claims of abuse. And I do understand how difficult it is for women to come forward with claims of sexual abuse; women don’t share these stories lightly, and they often open themselves up to new levels of trauma when they are brave enough to bring their stories to light, for the sake of truth and of bringing awareness to the systemic mistreatment of women. All of that said, I don’t think it’s fair to the bravery of sexual abuse survivors to treat every case as identical. I think we absolutely have to, as this podcast does beautifully, bring a critical eye — in the form of true democratic trials and fair defense as well as prosecution — to cases that have as much nuance as this one. To me, it’s clear these women and suffered real abuse, in some form. They would not put themselves through this awful experience otherwise. However, it’s less clear what role their mental health providers have had in helping them heal from abuse versus, over time, “incepting” details and trauma that may not have been true to reality. I have no idea whether these parents are innocent, but it seems like there is a whole part of this case that is unexplored — that is, the possibility that the trauma of these women has not been treated and healed, but instead exaggerated and inflamed in ways that are possibly as harmful to them as the extent of abuse they have come to believe happened to them as children. My father is abusive. He created a childhood of lies and fear and eggshells for my siblings and I. It has been a difficult and earth shattering journey to uncover the impact his actions in my childhood have had on my life. Because of my dad’s lying, at several points I have experienced the real fear of possibly uncovering “repressed memories” in myself of abuse even worse than the memories I already know to be true. I can see how I could have very easily, especially if under the care of a misguided therapy team, come to believe my father had hurt me in ways even beyond the ways he actually did. Luckily, instead I have been under the care of therapists strong enough in their skills to allow my trauma to unfold at a pace I could handle, and to walk through it with me in the ways I really needed. They helped me to heal and become stronger— to lead a happy and balanced adult life, free from repeated patterns of abuse that I witnessed as a child. This podcast tells an important story. One that haunts my life as much or more than the trauma I work every day to overcome. The story is: what happens when, somewhere along the brave and challenging journey of healing, we take (or are led) down a wrong turn?
