Shift Talk

AM Alpin

5.0 (1)
Education
Monthly

Real conversations about life's great transitions. mothershifting.substack.com

Oct 20

The Birth Shift

In this conversation, I sit down with veteran birth doulas Kelli DeFlora and Jade Newkirk — Kelli is the DONA-certified founder and director of Montclair BABY with 30+ years and over 1,000 births attended; Jade directs the Montclair BABY Doula Collective and has attended 350+ births over 12 years — to talk about pregnancy and birth as thresholds that call for flexibility, not a rigid “birth plan.” They explain why they favor “birth preferences” over “birth plan,” what modern doula work actually is (continuous physical, educational, and emotional support — not medical care, and not confrontation with providers), and why most of the real advocacy happens prenatally, before labor even starts. They trace the word “doula” back to its origins and share how yoga, their own births, and a nudge from friends and students first pulled them into this work, and what has kept them in it for decades. We talk about birth as a sacred, sometimes traumatic threshold — the “birth pause” after delivery, why bonding with a newborn doesn’t always arrive on cue (and how different cultures mark the moment a baby becomes a person, from first breath to first laugh), and the grief, guilt, and duality that run through postpartum life. Kelli and Jade make the case that doulas can help rebuild the ritual, community, and felt safety that modern, medicalized birth and postpartum care have largely stripped away. 00:00 Welcome and Theme 00:35 Meet the Doulas 02:23 Unclenching Expectations 05:33 What a Doula Does (and Where the Word Comes From) 09:40 Called to Birth Work 16:02 Birth as a Portal 19:17 Postpartum Dualities 23:50 Meeting Your Baby, the “Birth Pause” 29:48 Ritual and Culture Shift 36:31 Closing Gratitude 38:08 Baby Cameo and Outro Up Next: How to Attend a Conference with a Baby If you, too, are fascinated by the portals and thresholds of birth and death, stay tuned and subscribe to this podcast. In the meanwhile, this librarian recommends: 📚 Star Child by Claire Nivola (Public Library, A24) For a most gorgeously illustrated children’s book that expresses the concept of retrieving your child from the stars with poignant storytelling, read this book. Access Note: This book is currently only available for purchase via A24. And these podcast guests recommend: 📚 The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality by Kimberly Ann Johnson (Public Library, Bookshop, Amazon) From Jade: A resource like this can help shape your “own expectations for postpartum — since the U.S. doesn’t formally observe ‘the fourth trimester’ the way many cultures (and other mammal species) do. I also recommend 🔗 the 5-5-5 Postpartum Rule — five days in bed, five days on the bed, five days around the bed.” 🌐 NJ Connects From Kelli: “It’s a free in-home postpartum visit with a nurse to check in on you, check in on baby. It’s rolled out in pretty much all of the counties in New Jersey, and I think it’s just a phenomenal program.” 🌐Evidence Based Birth From both: “Oftentimes medical choices are being suggested to mothers and women don’t know what questions to ask. EBB takes all the scholarly studies and delivers it in a way that’s accessible to folks and helps them craft information.” 🍼 Production Notes: Baby crashes another podcast episode at 38:08. Get full access to Mothershifting at mothershifting.substack.com/subscribe
Sep 29

The On/Off Set Shift

Content Note: Cursey words throughout and mentions of Burt Reynolds, blue balls, and baby-making. I sit down with film professional and writer Ashley Allen — who writes under her maiden name, Hudson — to talk about growing up in a late-’90s New York film family, spending nearly twenty years in production, and now returning to writing while navigating motherhood. Ashley’s credits include work as a script supervisor and writer’s assistant on Gotham, Louie, I Know This Much Is True, and Sirens. We trace her Hudson-side artistic lineage and her path through the industry: PA work, camera department, and then script supervising, which she describes as a surprisingly conceptual, detail-obsessed craft. Independent films like Kids (1995) shaped how she thinks about storytelling, and learning technical roles built her confidence in a gender-imbalanced industry — eventually pulling her off set entirely and into writers’ rooms, a shift that also made trying to get pregnant more manageable. Ashley talks candidly about a difficult IVF journey, choosing it over certain career opportunities, and what matrescence has actually meant for her: love expanding in one direction while boundaries have to expand in the other. That includes the rage that can show up during a daughter’s threenager era, therapy, ADHD, the work of repairing after losing her temper, and the gap between cultural expectations of motherhood and the real thing — even inside a genuinely equitable partnership. We also get into Me Too’s ripple effects, gender dynamics on set, and her advice to her younger self: find yourself first, and don’t give your power away. You can find Ashley on Substack at Ashley Hudson - Ashes & Earth. 00:00 Welcome to Shift Talk 00:35 Meet Ashley Allen 01:34 Choosing the Hudson Name 02:13 Creative Lineage and Pressure 03:56 What Counts as Art 06:14 Breaking Into Film 07:44 From PA to Script Supervisor 10:00 Off Set to Writers Room 10:57 Choosing Motherhood and IVF 12:36 Matrescence and Identity Shift 15:03 Motherhood and Structural Inequity 16:27 Me Too and Gender on Set 21:47 Hypersexualized Culture Talk 23:00 Disappointments and Mom Rage 28:57 Gentle Parenting Critiques and Boundaries 32:15 Repair and Real Parenting 33:26 Advice to Younger Self 34:32 Closing and Subscribe If you, too, wanna laugh with a bestie about her long gone days of majoring in arts and smoking pot, let’s connect. Subscribe to Mothershifting and share with a friend. In the meanwhile, this librarian recommends: 📰 The Confidence Gap by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman (The Atlantic, 2014) This 2014 zinger which we briefly mention in the convo pitches that the gap between women’s competence and their advancement isn’t a competence problem at all — it’s a confidence problem, and confidence gets built by acting, not by ruminating until you feel ready. And this podcast guest recommends: 📚 This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub (Public Library, Bookshop, Amazon) “A novel about Alice, a woman who unexpectedly time travels back to her teenage years in New York City. She gets a chance to step back into with her adolescent self and have more time with her beloved father, who is sick in the present day. It’s a story about grief, gratitude, reflection and love. I fully ugly cried at the end in the best way.” 🎧 Normal Gossip created by Kelsey McKinney and Alex Sujong Laughlin (Website, Apple, Spotify) “This podcast created and hosted by Kelsey McKinney tells entertaining, anonymous stories about people’s everyday gossip.and ridiculous drama about friendships, relationships, family, and social situations. It’s funny, lighthearted, and makes me feel connected to everyone’s shared experiences of insanity and humor.” 🖼️ Colossal (Website) “An online magazine that explores contemporary art, design, photography from around the world. Everything from street art to high end installations. I set it as my home page and I love opening my browser and seeing some sort of work of genius.” 🍼 Production Notes: This episode was edited during baby’s second day at preschool. Please send tissues. 😭 Get full access to Mothershifting at mothershifting.substack.com/subscribe
Aug 18

The Seeker Shift

Content Note: This episode contains brief discussions of pregnancy loss. In this conversation, I interview Caitlin McCollister—a Nashville-based licensed clinical social worker, former educator, and mother of three—about seeking meaning, professional achievement, and the cultural landscape around motherhood. Caitlin traces her early spiritual curiosity in the Bible Belt, her philosophy and religion studies, and Buddhist psychology training in India, then reflects on taking nearly eight years to complete clinical hours after her 2018 graduation, reframing it through therapy and Carol Dweck’s Mindset as integration rather than failure. We discuss matrescence, baby blues, isolation, and the grief of identity change even with desired births, emphasizing that empowerment during birth shapes whether experiences are metabolized as trauma. Caitlin shares her experience attempting surrogacy for a friend—the extensive legal/medical process and two losses that deepened her compassion for infertility, IVF, and miscarriage—alongside a call to restore ritual, connection, and systemic support for disenfranchised reproductive milestones. 00:00 Welcome to Shift Talk 00:32 Meet Caitlin McCollister 01:29 Growing Up a Seeker 04:45 Taking the Long Road 10:15 Matrescence and Baby Blues 15:32 Empowered Birth and Trauma 17:54 Surrogacy and Loss 21:22 IVF Grief and No Rituals 25:03 Ritual, Religion, and Culture 30:43 Moana, Mom Rage, Interbeing 32:38 Closing and Subscribe Up Next: Fired Up: Confessions of a Mom Addicted to Productivity If you, too, are a lifelong seeker, let’s connect. Subscribe to Mothershifting and share with a friend. In the meanwhile, this podcast guest recommends: 📚 Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés (Public Library, Bookshop, Amazon) “A well-timed, old book from my mom’s shelf in the ‘90s that needs to be kind of back in the consciousness right now. It offers a look at reclaiming the power of being a woman.” 📚 Mindset by Carol Dweck (Public Library, Bookshop, Amazon) “This is a pretty specific kind of niche recommendation around looking at how our idea of what it means to be successful can enhance and hinder what we dare to try to do.” 🍼 Production Notes: Baby makes a milk-seeking cameo at 24:45. Enough said. Get full access to Mothershifting at mothershifting.substack.com/subscribe
Aug 11

Introducing Shi(f)t Talk - Podcast Conversations from Mothershifting

The world isn’t exactly clamoring for another podcast. I made one anyway. This is a little teaser I whipped up, with brilliant intro music from composer Jason Staczek of Cinotonic lending his talents. Meltdowns and diaper blowouts permitting, I hope to launch the first episode next week and around once a month thereafter. You can expect to hear from people and professionals helping themselves and others navigate life’s many shifts — and the s**t that comes along with it. Episodes will be short enough for your school drop-off but long enough to go somewhere, edited — to paraphrase Hitchcock’s definition of drama — to represent life “with the dull bits cut out.” Come for the commiseration, stay for the book recommendations (because: librarian). Up Next on Shi(f)t Talk: The Seeker Shift with Caitlin McCollister Subscribe now so you don’t miss an episode. I promise they’ll be more talk of shift than s**t. Well, hopefully. 🍼 Production Notes: This post brought to you by a mom who navigated today’s literal s**t via a car trunk diaper change in the preschool parking lot. Get full access to Mothershifting at mothershifting.substack.com/subscribe

4 Episodes

Real conversations about life's great transitions. mothershifting.substack.com

Creator

AM Alpin
Years Active

2026
Episodes

4
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© A.M. Alpin
Show Website

Shift Talk