A few years back I was driving on Los Coyotes Diagnoles in Ling Beach and I saw a couple dingle dangles on the side of the road with a sign that said “best looking podcast in Long Beach”. So I gave them a honk. Duh. I’m not an animal.
I thought to myself, wow these guys sound hot. But I couldn’t focus much on them as my partner and I were driving to close a big sale. I pressed play on my Avril leveene cd and we started to get psyched for our big meeting.
We met with Bob Williams, the biggest beeper distributer in the area. We wined and dined him and were well on our way to 69ing him.
He showed us a few pictures of his fat gymnast son on a pommel horse and we went in for the close. Just as we were closing the deal bob dropped the bomb on us that our business was actually closed. Just then the round of black velvet whiskey was delivered to the table. Very embarrassing.
After a hip pioneering receptionist confirmed that our business was closed cause no one uses beepers, we were on our own again. My partner went to work for his sisters butt buddy boyfriend and I lost my house and nick swishers wife that very day.
Then I realized, Bing wants us and they need us. I got my partner and we headed out to Oakland, the Bing head quarters.
We soon realized we were way older than every other intern there and had very little to offer other than positive attitudes. Soon My friend became infatuated with an Australian woman. Seemed like a good idea.
Finally we were crushing it, and had a great montage of us doing well and impressing everyone. But sure enough disaster followed. I forgot to click one button, and I ruined everything for my team.After being ridiculed by millennials and a judgy tan man with an accent, I decided it was my time to bail.
I moved on to another sales job with a guy more my size. We were going to sell canes to the elderly. Just as the my new partner was propositioning me to have a foursome with old ladies, my old partner came to save me and reminded me of a time where I hooked up with a young lady.
Soon enough we were back at Bing, made a big sale and got the jobs. Oh yah, my partner got with the Australian girl too! So we set off to the sunset and took big pulls of black velvet, and life was complete.
Anyways, good podcast!
