Decoding Attachment Styles

Annalisa Bahadur

Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it. I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse. But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients. This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships. In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.  We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now. We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries. Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt. This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful. If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place. Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit. 

  1. 9月15日

    Why Your Ex May Or May Not Respond To Your Text

    You hit send. You see the “Delivered” tick turn to “Read.” And then... nothing. The silence is louder than any notification. Your mind starts racing: Are they hurt? Are they ignoring me? Did my message come on too strong? Was it the wrong emoji? Before you spiral into that abyss of overthinking, we want you to hit pause. The reason for that silent phone likely has very little to do with you, and everything to do with their internal wiring- their attachment style. In this episode of Decoding Attachment Style, we're applying the science of human connection to one of the most common and anxiety-inducing modern dilemmas: the unanswered text to an ex. We're moving beyond playing games and making guesses, and giving you a practical framework to understand the silence. We’ll break down exactly how the four attachment styles - Anxious, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, and Secure - typically process and respond (or not respond) to communication from a past partner. You’ll learn… Why your Dismissive Avoidant ex might see your text as a pressure cooker of expectations and need to flee.How your Anxious ex could be overanalyzing every syllable, desperate to reply but terrified of getting it wrong.The reasons a Secure ex might respond with kindness and clarity, but not the reconciliation you hope for.What it means when a Dearful Avoidant (Disorganized) ex’s response is hot, cold, and completely confusing.Stop decoding their messages and start decoding their behavior. This episode will give you the clarity you need to stop staring at your screen and start moving forward. Support the show

    42 分钟
  2. 9月11日

    The Push-Pull and Navigating Second Chances

    When you're in a relationship shaped by attachment insecurities, the questions are complex, urgent, and deeply personal.  In this episode of Decoding Attachment, host Annalisa Bahadur tackles your real-world dilemmas with clarity and compassion, offering actionable strategies for some of the toughest dynamics. We're moving beyond theory and into the trenches to answer your pressing questions, including… “An FA leaning anxious – do we treat them as anxious?” We break down why you don’t want to hold yourself to suit them and what to do instead. “How to help an avoidant partner be open in the relationship.” Discover the dos and don'ts of creating safety without becoming their therapist.“What boundaries should I set when trying again with my partner and about to move in together?” Learn the non-negotiable boundaries to protect your emotional state before sharing a roof.“My FA friend is in denial mode and looking for another victim. What to do?” We discuss the difficult art of disentangling from a toxic cycle while protecting your own peace, even when it's someone you care about.This episode is a no-judgment zone for anyone who has ever felt confused, drained, or desperate for answers in the face of avoidant and anxious behaviors. We provide the framework you need to make empowered choices - for your relationship and, most importantly, for yourself. Tune in for the straight talk and practical guidance you've been searching for. Support the show

    32 分钟
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关于

Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it. I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse. But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients. This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships. In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant.  We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now. We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries. Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt. This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful. If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place. Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit. 

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