Slay Your Dragons - Malcolm Stern

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"Slay your dragons with compassion" To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within." - Michael Meade This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.  Having run courses for a number of years for Onlinevents, he entered into a collaboration with John and Sandra Wilson, to put together a series of podcasts which featured interviews with people who had found enrichment through facing into, and ultimately overcoming adversity. The intention was to provide inspiration for its listeners to map out and challenge their own adversity. Some of his guests are well known - others less so, but each has a story to tell of courage, insight and spiritual and emotional intelligence.  More than 50 podcasts have been published so far and include Jo Berry’s moving story of transforming her fathers murder by the IRA in the Brighton bomb blast ( Sir Anthony Berry) by engaging with Pat McGee ( the man who planted the bomb) and finding forgiveness and meaning and an unlikely friendship. Andrew Patterson was an international cricketer who has found purpose and meaning after a genetic illness paralysed him and ended his sporting career. Jay Birch was an armed robber and meth addict , who woke up to his true self and now mentors and coaches other troubled individuals and Jim McCarty, a founder member of the Yardbirds , shares his story of his wife’s death from cancer and the deep spirituality he found in the wake of her passing.  All the podcasts are presented by Malcolm Stern. Who  has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He is Co-Founder of Alternatives at St James’ Church in London and runs groups internationally. Sponsored by Onlineventshttps://www.onlinevents.co.uk/

  1. 12/03/2025

    Faith, Fasting, And A Fierce Will To Live with Darinka Zupan

    Send us a text A single sentence changed everything: you’re not doomed. From that moment, Darinka chose life and built a disciplined, human path back to health—pairing monitored fasting and daily visualisation with music, nature, and the support of a healer who spoke to her as a whole person. This is not a tale of magical thinking; it’s an intimate map of agency, faith, and consistency meeting hard reality. We walk through the early shock of a melanoma diagnosis, the confusion of lost test results, and the deeper fear that once defined cancer conversations. Then we open the door to a different approach: the Breuss method adapted with medical oversight, twice‑daily imagery that fits her joyful temperament, and a family routine that made the practice sustainable. Her visualisation is disarmingly gentle—two cheerful figures collecting cancer cells—and that’s the point. Congruence beats force. When the mind can relax, the body can participate. As her strength returned, the calling widened. We talk about bringing the Bristol model to Slovenia, leading small groups and one‑to‑one sessions, and learning to “hold the rim of the hole” so others can climb out. Light first, then shadow becomes a guiding principle: anchor people in what’s good and possible before exploring trauma or cause. We also explore Human Design as a language for living by response, ageing with contentment, and answering life’s invitations without strain. The heart of it all is honest: the dragon was people‑pleasing. Illness cracked the shell and revealed a voice that now serves others with clarity and kindness. Expect grounded insights on resilience, integrative cancer care, nervous system regulation, and the quiet courage of daily practice. If you or someone you love is navigating illness or a hard season, you’ll find both tools and hope here. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations.

    44 min

  2. 11/28/2025

    From Grief To Puppetry: How Adversity Shaped An Educator’s Life with Tony Gee

    Send us a text A sudden loss can set the course of a lifetime. Malcolm sits down with master puppeteer and educator Tony Gee to trace the unexpected path from a father’s death in Singapore to world-record puppet shows, radical youth work, and a philosophy of making that places imagination at the centre of community life. What begins as a story of bereavement opens into a practical guide to meaning: build things together, tell honest stories, and let participation reshape what education can be. Tony describes stumbling into puppetry through a Chilean allegory and discovering that the craft was never just about puppets. It was about autonomy, voice, and collective creation. He shares how a failed but formative nursery project in Brixton sharpened his commitment to participatory learning, why workshops became his chosen medium, and how thousands of children have co-authored performances that change the confidence of schools from the inside out. Along the way, we explore research into workshop practice, the power of story-led facilitation, and the delicate balance between structure and spontaneity. The conversation doesn’t flinch from the hard edges: intergenerational trauma, an abusive stepfather, disinheritance, and the slow work of accepting “insolubles.” Tony speaks to synchronicity, the felt presence of loved ones, and the artist’s task to metabolise experience through making. If you care about creative education, community arts, grief, resilience, or how large-scale participatory events can heal a culture, this episode offers grounded insight and humane inspiration. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations. Tell us: what are you building with others right now? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    42 min

  3. 11/24/2025

    Losing A Singing Voice Became The Door To Healing

    Send us a text A lost voice became a doorway. When our guest—a former international singer—underwent thyroid surgery and fell into silence, a drumbeat led to a startling vision of a warrior and an arrow to the throat. That image cracked open a deeper inheritance: the teachings of a shamanic grandfather, a flood of memory that reshaped a life built on stages into a life built on service. We walk with her from backstage glamour to soul work, where the goal is not to fix the self but to listen to the parts that have been shouting from the dark. We lean into Ning meditation, a practice named for the cocoon we weave from hurt. Here, shadow is not a label but a living being with name, age, and story. Plates are set for these parts, gifts are offered, and rituals return dignity to what once sabotaged. Through drumming, secret chants, and elemental sessions—especially the fire that reveals ancestral repetition—students learn to travel into the shadow’s point of view and witness the exact moments where loyalty to the past overrides freedom in the present. This is soul hacking and soul archaeology: transforming the narrative by partnering with the soul and the shadow, not overpowering them. The conversation widens to the collective: a world shaped by unworked shadows and the humility of tending what we can—our small circles, our food, our breath, our gratitude. Legacy becomes a practice, not a pedestal. We explore what it means to be “immortal” through actions that inspire long after we’re gone, and how service, paradoxically, returns us to joy. If you’re curious about shadow work, transgenerational healing, and rituals that make change feel real in the body, this one will meet you where words usually fail. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Your reflections keep the circle strong. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    37 min

  4. 11/18/2025

    Through Darkness To A Kinder Self with Fiona Robertson

    Send us a text What if the moment your life falls apart is not failure but initiation? In this candid conversation with author and philosopher Fiona Robertson, we trace the shape of a true dark night of the soul: the sudden crash after outward success, the flood of memories and emotions that refuse to be managed, and the unexpected grace that arrives when control finally loosens. Fiona brings a rare blend of clarity and tenderness, showing how surrender can feel less like defeat and more like a kinder way of meeting what is already here. We talk through the early phases—incapacity, shame, and the hunt for a name that makes sense of the chaos—then move into what helps when nothing seems to help. Resources arrive in small, almost provisional forms: a song on repeat, a glimpse of sky, a word that lands at the right moment. Community can be a lifeline, but during the most intense stretches it may be hard to find people who understand the heat of the process. Over time, capacity grows. The waves still come, but the amplitude softens. Life returns through modest steps—a job in a supportive place, leaving a misaligned relationship, rediscovering work through somatic inquiry and embodied attention. Along the way we question the urge to “slay dragons.” Fiona offers a different map: see what’s here, let it name itself, and learn to be with it until relationship forms. The work shifts from purely personal material to familial and cultural patterns, revealing that the dark night is both intimate and collective. Spirituality also changes shape, moving from ideas to a felt contact with unconditional kindness. It’s not a tidy hero’s journey; it’s evolution wrought by honest contact. If you’ve ever felt your coping collapse, this conversation offers a lucid, compassionate guide to navigating the wild terrain and emerging with a deeper, quieter strength. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it today, and leave a review to help others find this conversation. What part of your own story is asking for kinder attention right now? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents More about Fiona Robertson| Fiona Robertson is the author of The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence, and Eve Was a Realist: Poems for the Untamed Heart. She meets with people who are going through a dark night or spiritual emergency, accompanying them in this challenging terrain as they rediscover and deepen into their real selves. She also offers a monthly dark night gathering group, and occasional workshops for therapists and counsellors. Website | https://www.thedarknightofthesoul.com/

    42 min

  5. 11/01/2025

    After Love: Choosing Faith Over Despair with James Willing

    Send us a text Grief rarely knocks once. Sometimes it moves in, rearranges the furniture, and dares you to keep living in your own house. That’s where we meet James: a man who fell back in love with an old friend turned husband, built a life around art and quiet rituals, and then watched that life tilt in a single sentence—“I’ve got cancer.” What follows isn’t tidy. It’s six months of chemo and courage, a final exhibition pulled together with fierce focus, and the tender, ordinary moments that made their days feel normal right up until they weren’t. We talk about what happens after the funeral, when the casseroles stop and the rooms echo. James shares the two choices he felt every morning—stay under the duvet or get up—and why he kept choosing to get up. Therapy, honest friends, and swimming gave his body rhythm when his mind was frayed. Prayer, surprisingly, gave him language when words failed. He doesn’t claim a neat theology; he claims practice. Gratitude started as a way to stop resenting the love that hurt to lose and became a tool for seeing what remained: a roof overhead, working limbs, neighbours who show up, and the courage to admit “I’m not okay” without apology. There’s legacy here too. Tim’s last exhibition wasn’t about applause; it was about leaving colour behind for the people he loved. That purpose steadied them both and points to a wider truth: creativity at the end of life can be a raft. We also step into the next hard choice—selling the home they made together, below the price he hoped for, because staying turned the house into a museum. Letting go becomes a second act of love, a bet on a future that hasn’t introduced itself yet. And at the end, James names the dragon he still carries: the imposter that says he’s not enough. He hears it, thanks it, and keeps walking. If this story moves you, follow the show, share it with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Your words help keep this space alive. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    36 min

  6. 10/19/2025

    From Banking To SoulHub: Building A Community For Belonging And Healing with Carmen Rendell

    Send us a text What if the smartest decision you ever make begins with your body quietly refusing to board the train? That was Carmen’s turning point—a full-body no that unravelled a polished corporate life and opened a door to travel, therapy, and a community designed for belonging without armour. We talk through the cost of conforming and the relief of naming misalignment, from ending a marriage to stepping away from a safe career. Travel becomes a lab for identity: anonymity in foreign streets, serendipity on a ferry, trust built one uncertain mile at a time. Out of that soil, SoulHub takes shape—not as a brand with a rigid roadmap, but as a sangha for like-hearted people. We dig into what it means to build a lighthouse of safety, prune back bloated systems, and let the right work emerge instead of forcing outcomes. Love sits at the centre as practice, not plot twist. We explore the gap between Hollywood romance and deep companionship, the mirror of an honest partner, and the daily work of integrating the parts we hide. Guilt shows up—Catholic-flavoured, people-pleasing, relentless—and we examine how choosing alignment isn’t selfish but necessary. Adversity threads through the story without spectacle: plans that didn’t happen, identities shed, faith redefined. The reframe is powerful—challenge as teacher, not sentence—and it leads to service that feels human, grounded, and alive. If you’re weighing a safe path against a true one, this conversation offers a map drawn in pencil: permission, pruning, presence. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s at a crossroads, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into your week. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    42 min

  7. 10/01/2025

    From HR Desk to Marathon Start Line: Claire’s Holistic Path to Purpose

    Send us a text What happens when you stop playing small and start telling the truth—to your coach, your body, and yourself? Claire joins us to share how she left a stable HR career and built a life around running, breathwork, and positive psychology, not as separate practices but as one coherent path to purpose. Her story is not a straight line; it curves through divorce, self-development, and long miles that taught her to trust the process and let go of outcomes. We dig into how a holistic approach to training transforms performance, especially in midlife. Claire explains why sleep, strength work, hydration, and nutrition are non-negotiables; how breathwork improves oxygen delivery and steadies the mind before the gun; and why a 3:19 marathon at 49 felt less like defying age and more like aligning body and mind. She coaches online with a mindset-first method—reframing limiting beliefs, documenting the messy weeks, and proving that consistency beats intensity when the goal is confidence as much as pace. Beyond the finish line, the conversation opens into what running reveals about life. Claire talks candidly about trekking to Everest Base Camp, finding clarity to end a kind marriage, and making the hardest call with honesty and care. She shares the lonely parts of marathon prep, the joy of flow on a cold morning in the Peak District, and the power of saying “I’m alive” at the top of a hill. Clients tell her they’re not just faster; they’re braver at work, calmer at home, and kinder to themselves when plans change. If you’re curious about holistic running, midlife performance, mental resilience, or the courage to stop hiding, this one’s for you. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs permission to trust the process—what truth are you ready to run toward? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    39 min

  8. 09/30/2025

    From Ballroom Floors to Holding Space: Andrew Cuerden on Mastery, Faith, and Connection

    Send us a text What happens when a life built on performance turns toward presence? We sit down with world‑ranked dancer and coach Andrew Cuerden for a candid journey from a disciplined South African childhood to London hostels, global competitions, and the bright lights of Strictly—then beyond fame to the deeper craft of connection. Andrew shares how a £500 leap of faith, a resilient family ethos, and the hungry years shaped his artistry, and why the real validation didn’t come from TV but from peers at the Royal Albert Hall. The conversation opens up the hidden mechanics behind partner dance—alignment, balance, timing, frame—and shows how they map directly onto relationships, communication, and trust. Andrew explains why proximity on the floor can expose cracks at home, how professionals “see a body” before a romance, and the practical ways he helps couples reconnect by removing words and letting the body learn safety. We explore the honest tensions of love and work: jealousy, freedom versus connection, and the central commitment that allows both partners to stretch without breaking. His concept of metaphysical dance weaves technique with therapy, turning lead and follow into a language for everyday leadership and empathy. Andrew’s evolution from filling space to holding it reframes mastery as presence, patience, and passion. He talks about building Soul Hub with Carmen, creating gatherings that use movement and nature to bridge difference, and resisting the comforts that can dull creativity. At the heart of it all is the dragon he continues to face—self‑worth—and the choice to break the mould, find value beyond applause, and sustain joy by reinvesting in his own practice. If you’re curious about the crossroads of artistry, purpose, and relationship, this conversation offers both story and strategy you can feel in your bones. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who loves dance or personal growth, and leave a quick review—what did you take from Andrew’s approach to connection? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    35 min
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About

"Slay your dragons with compassion" To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within." - Michael Meade This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.  Having run courses for a number of years for Onlinevents, he entered into a collaboration with John and Sandra Wilson, to put together a series of podcasts which featured interviews with people who had found enrichment through facing into, and ultimately overcoming adversity. The intention was to provide inspiration for its listeners to map out and challenge their own adversity. Some of his guests are well known - others less so, but each has a story to tell of courage, insight and spiritual and emotional intelligence.  More than 50 podcasts have been published so far and include Jo Berry’s moving story of transforming her fathers murder by the IRA in the Brighton bomb blast ( Sir Anthony Berry) by engaging with Pat McGee ( the man who planted the bomb) and finding forgiveness and meaning and an unlikely friendship. Andrew Patterson was an international cricketer who has found purpose and meaning after a genetic illness paralysed him and ended his sporting career. Jay Birch was an armed robber and meth addict , who woke up to his true self and now mentors and coaches other troubled individuals and Jim McCarty, a founder member of the Yardbirds , shares his story of his wife’s death from cancer and the deep spirituality he found in the wake of her passing.  All the podcasts are presented by Malcolm Stern. Who  has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He is Co-Founder of Alternatives at St James’ Church in London and runs groups internationally. Sponsored by Onlineventshttps://www.onlinevents.co.uk/

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