Slay Your Dragons - Malcolm Stern

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"Slay your dragons with compassion" To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within." - Michael Meade This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.  Having run courses for a number of years for Onlinevents, he entered into a collaboration with John and Sandra Wilson, to put together a series of podcasts which featured interviews with people who had found enrichment through facing into, and ultimately overcoming adversity. The intention was to provide inspiration for its listeners to map out and challenge their own adversity. Some of his guests are well known - others less so, but each has a story to tell of courage, insight and spiritual and emotional intelligence.  More than 50 podcasts have been published so far and include Jo Berry’s moving story of transforming her fathers murder by the IRA in the Brighton bomb blast ( Sir Anthony Berry) by engaging with Pat McGee ( the man who planted the bomb) and finding forgiveness and meaning and an unlikely friendship. Andrew Patterson was an international cricketer who has found purpose and meaning after a genetic illness paralysed him and ended his sporting career. Jay Birch was an armed robber and meth addict , who woke up to his true self and now mentors and coaches other troubled individuals and Jim McCarty, a founder member of the Yardbirds , shares his story of his wife’s death from cancer and the deep spirituality he found in the wake of her passing.  All the podcasts are presented by Malcolm Stern. Who  has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He is Co-Founder of Alternatives at St James’ Church in London and runs groups internationally. Sponsored by Onlineventshttps://www.onlinevents.co.uk/

  1. 3d ago

    From Childhood Trauma To Purposeful Longevity with Anna Finlayson

    Send us Fan Mail A five-year-old watching her parents shout and thinking “it doesn’t have to be like this” can grow into an adult who makes conflict resolution her life’s work. That’s where our conversation with Anna begins, and it quickly deepens into the realities that shaped her: divorce, a mother leaving at a pivotal age, sexual abuse, and the survival choices children make when the system around them is unsafe. We speak honestly about trauma, insecure attachment, suicidal feelings and the long echo these experiences can have in relationships, self-trust and the ability to feel at home in your own body. From there we follow the thread of healing as a lived practice rather than a tidy story. Anna shares how studying psychology and sociology, entering counselling, and spending time in survivors’ groups helped her break patterns like codependency and self-erasure. We reflect on the “unbroken part” that keeps people moving, and why presence, compassion and language matter so much when someone is suffering. If you care about trauma recovery, emotional resilience and how to rebuild a sense of self after abuse, this dialogue stays grounded in what that work actually looks like over decades. We also turn towards purpose and longevity, including Blue Zones research and the idea that health is not only diet and exercise but also community and meaning. We challenge the cultural messages aimed at women about ageing, beauty and “giving up”, and we explore why soulful purpose can be the most sustaining kind of energy. If the conversation resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave us a review so more listeners can find Slay Your Dragons With Compassion. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    41 min

  2. Jun 19

    Finding A Way Through Child Loss When Society Looks Away with Claire Greenland

    Send us Fan Mail Someone asks, “Do you have children?” and suddenly you are standing at a crossroads between politeness and truth. That is where this conversation begins: a party, two strangers, and the quiet moment when we both admit our children took their own lives. My guest, Claire Greenland, speaks with disarming clarity about suicide bereavement, child loss, and what it takes to stay human when the room does not know what to do with your grief.  We dig into the part people rarely prepare you for: not only your own pain, but the faces, comments, predictions, and judgements that come with it. Claire shares why she went dancing just four days after her son died, how authenticity can shock people, and why grief does not get “better or worse” so much as arrive in waves. We talk about practices that keep us connected to life, including meditation, qigong, and good psychotherapy, plus the importance of protecting yourself from spaces that flatten your natural process.  We also explore death denial, the stigma that still surrounds suicide, and why language matters, including moving away from “committing suicide”. From mosaics to planting oak trees, we look at rituals that help love stay present, and how approaches like EMDR can ease guilt and support a continuing bond with the child who has died. If you have ever felt pressure to grieve the “right” way, this is a steadier, more compassionate alternative.  If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people living with grief can find these conversations. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    38 min

  3. Jun 15

    Vulnerability Turns Grief Into A Wider Heart with Joanna Long

    Send us Fan Mail Spiritual awakening is often marketed as a constant high, but what happens when it feels more like an unravelling? I sit down with mentor Joanna Long to talk about awakening as the unconscious becoming conscious, the body as a truth detector, and why real growth rarely lets us bypass the hard parts. From the start, Joanna reframes spirituality as something we bring down into our lives, not something we use to float above them.  Joanna shares her own dramatic catalysts: moving to Bali, feeling “activated” by the land, a motorbike accident that stripped away what she thought she had sorted, and a later kundalini activation that forced deeper integration. We dig into shadow work, nervous system imprinting and the difference between performative spirituality and lived embodiment. If you’ve ever felt suspicious of “love and light” messaging that skips pain, this will help you name what’s missing and why it matters.  We also go straight to vulnerability, grief and the protective strategies we build after loss. Joanna speaks openly about her father’s slow death from lung cancer, the end of her marriage as grief surfaced, and the abandonment beliefs that can form when love and loss collide. From there we explore wisdom that doesn’t rely on credentials, intuition that lives in the body, acceptance that is not agreement, and a bigger question: what might humanity become if we moved beyond separation and into service?  If this conversation lands, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave us a review. What part challenged you most, and what part felt unmistakably true? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    35 min

  4. Jun 11

    From Parkinson’s To Purpose In Community Life with Jonathan Dawson

    Send us Fan Mail A diagnosis can scramble your sense of who you are, especially when you’ve built a life around clarity, competence, and being the person with the answers. When Jonathan Dawson tells us he has Parkinson’s disease, he also tells us what happens next: the awkward pauses, the uncertainty on stage, and the surprising power of simply naming the truth at the start of a talk. We go wider too, because Jonathan’s work has always been about the big picture. He has spent years in international development in Africa, helped shape the ecovillage movement, and led a master’s programme in economics at Schumacher College. His view of ecological economics lands as a challenge and an invitation: treat economics as moral philosophy, stop assuming endless growth equals wellbeing, and ask instead how we live well on a shared planet in a way that is equitable and kind. Then we come back to the personal losses that don’t tidy themselves away. Jonathan speaks about living in intentional community, the permission to grieve openly, and the slow realisation that old wounds still have a voice. He shares the ongoing heartbreak of being separated from his children, and the deep “rupture” of boarding school trauma, alongside the inner practices that help him keep his humanity intact. If you care about resilience, chronic illness, grief, chosen family, sustainable living, or a more human kind of economics, you’ll find something here to hold on to. Subscribe, share this conversation with someone who needs it, and leave us a review with the line that stayed with you most. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    33 min

  5. Apr 16

    How Intergenerational Trauma Shapes Love And Recovery with Andre Zitcer

    Send us Fan Mail Pain does not only come from what happened to us. Sometimes it arrives already packed in the family story, sitting in the nervous system like an inheritance we never asked for. We talk with Andre Zitcer about intergenerational trauma in the most human way possible: a Jewish father who survives the Holocaust and cannot speak about what he lost, and a mother whose childhood is shaped by displacement, abuse, and the lifelong hunger to be held.  From there, we follow the thread into adulthood, where unmet needs can turn into compulsions. Andre speaks candidly about promiscuity, sex and love addiction, codependency, and what it takes to build real boundaries when you were never taught any. He shares how recovery communities help him “keep his side of the street clean”, and how presence becomes a practice in relationship, including learning to listen, remember, and slow down.  We also explore trauma-informed healing through somatic experiencing, acupuncture, and nervous system regulation, plus why family systems matter when one person gets labelled “the problem”. The conversation lands on the core dragon Andre has had to face: self-acceptance, the felt sense that who he is, right now, is enough. If you care about healing trauma, addiction recovery, grief, or building healthy relationships after a hard start, this one goes deep. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review. What pattern are you ready to stop carrying alone? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    44 min

  6. 12/03/2025

    Faith, Fasting, And A Fierce Will To Live with Darinka Zupan

    Send us Fan Mail A single sentence changed everything: you’re not doomed. From that moment, Darinka chose life and built a disciplined, human path back to health—pairing monitored fasting and daily visualisation with music, nature, and the support of a healer who spoke to her as a whole person. This is not a tale of magical thinking; it’s an intimate map of agency, faith, and consistency meeting hard reality. We walk through the early shock of a melanoma diagnosis, the confusion of lost test results, and the deeper fear that once defined cancer conversations. Then we open the door to a different approach: the Breuss method adapted with medical oversight, twice‑daily imagery that fits her joyful temperament, and a family routine that made the practice sustainable. Her visualisation is disarmingly gentle—two cheerful figures collecting cancer cells—and that’s the point. Congruence beats force. When the mind can relax, the body can participate. As her strength returned, the calling widened. We talk about bringing the Bristol model to Slovenia, leading small groups and one‑to‑one sessions, and learning to “hold the rim of the hole” so others can climb out. Light first, then shadow becomes a guiding principle: anchor people in what’s good and possible before exploring trauma or cause. We also explore Human Design as a language for living by response, ageing with contentment, and answering life’s invitations without strain. The heart of it all is honest: the dragon was people‑pleasing. Illness cracked the shell and revealed a voice that now serves others with clarity and kindness. Expect grounded insights on resilience, integrative cancer care, nervous system regulation, and the quiet courage of daily practice. If you or someone you love is navigating illness or a hard season, you’ll find both tools and hope here. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs encouragement, and leave a review to help more people find these conversations.

    44 min

  7. 11/28/2025

    From Grief To Puppetry: How Adversity Shaped An Educator’s Life with Tony Gee

    Send us Fan Mail A sudden loss can set the course of a lifetime. Malcolm sits down with master puppeteer and educator Tony Gee to trace the unexpected path from a father’s death in Singapore to world-record puppet shows, radical youth work, and a philosophy of making that places imagination at the centre of community life. What begins as a story of bereavement opens into a practical guide to meaning: build things together, tell honest stories, and let participation reshape what education can be. Tony describes stumbling into puppetry through a Chilean allegory and discovering that the craft was never just about puppets. It was about autonomy, voice, and collective creation. He shares how a failed but formative nursery project in Brixton sharpened his commitment to participatory learning, why workshops became his chosen medium, and how thousands of children have co-authored performances that change the confidence of schools from the inside out. Along the way, we explore research into workshop practice, the power of story-led facilitation, and the delicate balance between structure and spontaneity. The conversation doesn’t flinch from the hard edges: intergenerational trauma, an abusive stepfather, disinheritance, and the slow work of accepting “insolubles.” Tony speaks to synchronicity, the felt presence of loved ones, and the artist’s task to metabolise experience through making. If you care about creative education, community arts, grief, resilience, or how large-scale participatory events can heal a culture, this episode offers grounded insight and humane inspiration. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more listeners can find these conversations. Tell us: what are you building with others right now? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    42 min

  8. 11/24/2025

    Losing A Singing Voice Became The Door To Healing

    Send us Fan Mail A lost voice became a doorway. When our guest—a former international singer—underwent thyroid surgery and fell into silence, a drumbeat led to a startling vision of a warrior and an arrow to the throat. That image cracked open a deeper inheritance: the teachings of a shamanic grandfather, a flood of memory that reshaped a life built on stages into a life built on service. We walk with her from backstage glamour to soul work, where the goal is not to fix the self but to listen to the parts that have been shouting from the dark. We lean into Ning meditation, a practice named for the cocoon we weave from hurt. Here, shadow is not a label but a living being with name, age, and story. Plates are set for these parts, gifts are offered, and rituals return dignity to what once sabotaged. Through drumming, secret chants, and elemental sessions—especially the fire that reveals ancestral repetition—students learn to travel into the shadow’s point of view and witness the exact moments where loyalty to the past overrides freedom in the present. This is soul hacking and soul archaeology: transforming the narrative by partnering with the soul and the shadow, not overpowering them. The conversation widens to the collective: a world shaped by unworked shadows and the humility of tending what we can—our small circles, our food, our breath, our gratitude. Legacy becomes a practice, not a pedestal. We explore what it means to be “immortal” through actions that inspire long after we’re gone, and how service, paradoxically, returns us to joy. If you’re curious about shadow work, transgenerational healing, and rituals that make change feel real in the body, this one will meet you where words usually fail. If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Your reflections keep the circle strong. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    37 min
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About

"Slay your dragons with compassion" To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within." - Michael Meade This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.  Having run courses for a number of years for Onlinevents, he entered into a collaboration with John and Sandra Wilson, to put together a series of podcasts which featured interviews with people who had found enrichment through facing into, and ultimately overcoming adversity. The intention was to provide inspiration for its listeners to map out and challenge their own adversity. Some of his guests are well known - others less so, but each has a story to tell of courage, insight and spiritual and emotional intelligence.  More than 50 podcasts have been published so far and include Jo Berry’s moving story of transforming her fathers murder by the IRA in the Brighton bomb blast ( Sir Anthony Berry) by engaging with Pat McGee ( the man who planted the bomb) and finding forgiveness and meaning and an unlikely friendship. Andrew Patterson was an international cricketer who has found purpose and meaning after a genetic illness paralysed him and ended his sporting career. Jay Birch was an armed robber and meth addict , who woke up to his true self and now mentors and coaches other troubled individuals and Jim McCarty, a founder member of the Yardbirds , shares his story of his wife’s death from cancer and the deep spirituality he found in the wake of her passing.  All the podcasts are presented by Malcolm Stern. Who  has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He is Co-Founder of Alternatives at St James’ Church in London and runs groups internationally. Sponsored by Onlineventshttps://www.onlinevents.co.uk/

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