Slay Your Dragons - Malcolm Stern

John

"Slay your dragons with compassion" To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within." - Michael Meade This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.  Having run courses for a number of years for Onlinevents, he entered into a collaboration with John and Sandra Wilson, to put together a series of podcasts which featured interviews with people who had found enrichment through facing into, and ultimately overcoming adversity. The intention was to provide inspiration for its listeners to map out and challenge their own adversity. Some of his guests are well known - others less so, but each has a story to tell of courage, insight and spiritual and emotional intelligence.  More than 50 podcasts have been published so far and include Jo Berry’s moving story of transforming her fathers murder by the IRA in the Brighton bomb blast ( Sir Anthony Berry) by engaging with Pat McGee ( the man who planted the bomb) and finding forgiveness and meaning and an unlikely friendship. Andrew Patterson was an international cricketer who has found purpose and meaning after a genetic illness paralysed him and ended his sporting career. Jay Birch was an armed robber and meth addict , who woke up to his true self and now mentors and coaches other troubled individuals and Jim McCarty, a founder member of the Yardbirds , shares his story of his wife’s death from cancer and the deep spirituality he found in the wake of her passing.  All the podcasts are presented by Malcolm Stern. Who  has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He is Co-Founder of Alternatives at St James’ Church in London and runs groups internationally. Sponsored by Onlineventshttps://www.onlinevents.co.uk/

  1. NOV 1

    After Love: Choosing Faith Over Despair with James Willing

    Send us a text Grief rarely knocks once. Sometimes it moves in, rearranges the furniture, and dares you to keep living in your own house. That’s where we meet James: a man who fell back in love with an old friend turned husband, built a life around art and quiet rituals, and then watched that life tilt in a single sentence—“I’ve got cancer.” What follows isn’t tidy. It’s six months of chemo and courage, a final exhibition pulled together with fierce focus, and the tender, ordinary moments that made their days feel normal right up until they weren’t. We talk about what happens after the funeral, when the casseroles stop and the rooms echo. James shares the two choices he felt every morning—stay under the duvet or get up—and why he kept choosing to get up. Therapy, honest friends, and swimming gave his body rhythm when his mind was frayed. Prayer, surprisingly, gave him language when words failed. He doesn’t claim a neat theology; he claims practice. Gratitude started as a way to stop resenting the love that hurt to lose and became a tool for seeing what remained: a roof overhead, working limbs, neighbours who show up, and the courage to admit “I’m not okay” without apology. There’s legacy here too. Tim’s last exhibition wasn’t about applause; it was about leaving colour behind for the people he loved. That purpose steadied them both and points to a wider truth: creativity at the end of life can be a raft. We also step into the next hard choice—selling the home they made together, below the price he hoped for, because staying turned the house into a museum. Letting go becomes a second act of love, a bet on a future that hasn’t introduced itself yet. And at the end, James names the dragon he still carries: the imposter that says he’s not enough. He hears it, thanks it, and keeps walking. If this story moves you, follow the show, share it with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review to help others find these conversations. Your words help keep this space alive. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    36 min
  2. OCT 19

    From Banking To SoulHub: Building A Community For Belonging And Healing with Carmen Rendell

    Send us a text What if the smartest decision you ever make begins with your body quietly refusing to board the train? That was Carmen’s turning point—a full-body no that unravelled a polished corporate life and opened a door to travel, therapy, and a community designed for belonging without armour. We talk through the cost of conforming and the relief of naming misalignment, from ending a marriage to stepping away from a safe career. Travel becomes a lab for identity: anonymity in foreign streets, serendipity on a ferry, trust built one uncertain mile at a time. Out of that soil, SoulHub takes shape—not as a brand with a rigid roadmap, but as a sangha for like-hearted people. We dig into what it means to build a lighthouse of safety, prune back bloated systems, and let the right work emerge instead of forcing outcomes. Love sits at the centre as practice, not plot twist. We explore the gap between Hollywood romance and deep companionship, the mirror of an honest partner, and the daily work of integrating the parts we hide. Guilt shows up—Catholic-flavoured, people-pleasing, relentless—and we examine how choosing alignment isn’t selfish but necessary. Adversity threads through the story without spectacle: plans that didn’t happen, identities shed, faith redefined. The reframe is powerful—challenge as teacher, not sentence—and it leads to service that feels human, grounded, and alive. If you’re weighing a safe path against a true one, this conversation offers a map drawn in pencil: permission, pruning, presence. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s at a crossroads, and leave a review with one insight you’re taking into your week. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    42 min
  3. OCT 1

    From HR Desk to Marathon Start Line: Claire’s Holistic Path to Purpose

    Send us a text What happens when you stop playing small and start telling the truth—to your coach, your body, and yourself? Claire joins us to share how she left a stable HR career and built a life around running, breathwork, and positive psychology, not as separate practices but as one coherent path to purpose. Her story is not a straight line; it curves through divorce, self-development, and long miles that taught her to trust the process and let go of outcomes. We dig into how a holistic approach to training transforms performance, especially in midlife. Claire explains why sleep, strength work, hydration, and nutrition are non-negotiables; how breathwork improves oxygen delivery and steadies the mind before the gun; and why a 3:19 marathon at 49 felt less like defying age and more like aligning body and mind. She coaches online with a mindset-first method—reframing limiting beliefs, documenting the messy weeks, and proving that consistency beats intensity when the goal is confidence as much as pace. Beyond the finish line, the conversation opens into what running reveals about life. Claire talks candidly about trekking to Everest Base Camp, finding clarity to end a kind marriage, and making the hardest call with honesty and care. She shares the lonely parts of marathon prep, the joy of flow on a cold morning in the Peak District, and the power of saying “I’m alive” at the top of a hill. Clients tell her they’re not just faster; they’re braver at work, calmer at home, and kinder to themselves when plans change. If you’re curious about holistic running, midlife performance, mental resilience, or the courage to stop hiding, this one’s for you. Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs permission to trust the process—what truth are you ready to run toward? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    39 min
  4. SEP 30

    From Ballroom Floors to Holding Space: Andrew Cuerden on Mastery, Faith, and Connection

    Send us a text What happens when a life built on performance turns toward presence? We sit down with world‑ranked dancer and coach Andrew Cuerden for a candid journey from a disciplined South African childhood to London hostels, global competitions, and the bright lights of Strictly—then beyond fame to the deeper craft of connection. Andrew shares how a £500 leap of faith, a resilient family ethos, and the hungry years shaped his artistry, and why the real validation didn’t come from TV but from peers at the Royal Albert Hall. The conversation opens up the hidden mechanics behind partner dance—alignment, balance, timing, frame—and shows how they map directly onto relationships, communication, and trust. Andrew explains why proximity on the floor can expose cracks at home, how professionals “see a body” before a romance, and the practical ways he helps couples reconnect by removing words and letting the body learn safety. We explore the honest tensions of love and work: jealousy, freedom versus connection, and the central commitment that allows both partners to stretch without breaking. His concept of metaphysical dance weaves technique with therapy, turning lead and follow into a language for everyday leadership and empathy. Andrew’s evolution from filling space to holding it reframes mastery as presence, patience, and passion. He talks about building Soul Hub with Carmen, creating gatherings that use movement and nature to bridge difference, and resisting the comforts that can dull creativity. At the heart of it all is the dragon he continues to face—self‑worth—and the choice to break the mould, find value beyond applause, and sustain joy by reinvesting in his own practice. If you’re curious about the crossroads of artistry, purpose, and relationship, this conversation offers both story and strategy you can feel in your bones. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who loves dance or personal growth, and leave a quick review—what did you take from Andrew’s approach to connection? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    35 min
  5. JUL 28

    Leading with Compassion: Nicholas Janni's Path from Drummer to Corporate Healer

    Send us a text The transformative power of bringing our full humanity into leadership takes center stage in this profound conversation with Nicholas Janni, award-winning author of "Leader as Healer." Nicholas shares his extraordinary journey from studying with master drummers in West Africa to becoming a transformational coach for corporate executives worldwide. What unfolds is a deeply moving exploration of how our personal wounds can become our greatest gifts. Nicholas vulnerably recounts his complex relationship with his Jewish-Italian father who fled fascism, revealing how this intergenerational trauma initially created disconnection before ultimately leading to profound healing. This personal journey now informs his revolutionary work with leaders, helping them access deeper levels of presence and authenticity. The conversation illuminates Nicholas's unique ability to bridge seemingly disparate worlds—bringing embodied awareness and emotional intelligence into corporate environments traditionally dominated by cognitive approaches. His insightful metaphor of "reinserting the USB" into our bodies, emotions, and intuition speaks to how we've normalized living in a diminished version of reality. For leaders navigating today's radical uncertainty, this reconnection isn't merely beneficial—it's essential. Nicholas's approach combines fierce truth-telling with profound compassion, creating safe spaces where executives can access vulnerability without judgment. His transformational coaching programs help consultants and leaders move beyond intellectual understanding to embodied knowing, literally "recoding" their nervous systems to access greater wholeness. Whether you're a leader seeking greater authenticity, a coach working with executives, or someone navigating your own healing journey, this conversation offers profound insights into slaying your dragons with compassion. As Nicholas demonstrates through his own vulnerability around feelings of worthlessness, our core challenges never fully disappear—we simply work with them at deeper levels, transforming them from obstacles into sources of wisdom and connection. This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    43 min
  6. JUL 18

    Reclaiming Your Name: Camilla Balshaw's Journey of Identity and Healing

    Send us a text What happens when your name isn't truly yours? When your cultural heritage is erased? When doctors dismiss your pain? Camilla Balshaw's powerful story tackles these questions with remarkable vulnerability and wisdom. For the first 24 years of her life, Camilla answered to "Mandy" – a name her Jamaican mother preferred over the Nigerian name her father had chosen. This dual identity became symbolic of a deeper fracture when her parents divorced and her father disappeared from her life for forty years, taking her connection to her Nigerian heritage with him. The journey to reclaim her birth name became intertwined with reclaiming her complete identity. "I'm my mother and father's daughter," Camilla reflects, describing how she eventually integrated both cultural influences after decades of disconnection. When her father unexpectedly reached out after forty years, she made the conscious choice not just to reconnect, but to embrace her birth name and the Nigerian part of her identity that had been submerged. Alongside this identity journey, Camilla navigated severe endometriosis that began at age ten. Her experiences highlight the dismissal many women face in healthcare settings – "Women haven't been listened to by the medical establishment for decades," she notes. Rather than surrender to bitterness, she found healing through yoga and meditation practices discovered during five transformative years living in Japan with her husband. Camilla's memoir "Named: A Story of Reclaiming and Reclaiming Who You Are" weaves these threads together, exploring how names shape identity and belong to larger narratives about race, class, gender, and belonging. Her experience reminds us that reclaiming our authentic selves often means confronting painful histories while remaining open to unexpected healing. As one of her teachers wisely observed: "In life, when you need the most, you'll find the angels." Join us for this inspiring conversation about identity, healing, and the courage to become fully yourself. Book Link | Named: A Story of Names and Reclaiming Who We Are This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    36 min
  7. JUL 10

    When Your Hands Speak: A Journey Through Creative Healing with Caroline Born

    Send us a text What messages might our bodies be sending through illness, disability, or limitation? What wisdom lies beneath the surface of our physical challenges? Caroline Born, a movement practitioner with over four decades of experience, takes us on a remarkable journey through her 34-year relationship with a progressive hand disability. Rather than pursuing surgical interventions to "fix" her contracting fingers, Caroline chose a path less traveled—treating her body as a messenger carrying profound wisdom. Through a practice called the Life Art Process, Caroline has created 50 paintings and drawings of her hands, translating her somatic experience into visual expression. This "kinetic visualization" allowed information to emerge that surprised even her conscious mind. "The symptom has been a gift," she reflects, acknowledging that without this physical challenge, she wouldn't have deepened her self-understanding in such meaningful ways. What makes Caroline's story so compelling is her radical honesty about the emotional landscape of disability. When asked if she loves her hands, she responds: "That's the journey. I have hated them and I have loved them." Her exploration led her to discover unexpected connections—rage stored in her shoulder blades, dreams offering guidance, and the fascinating link between her little finger (the first to contract) and the heart meridian in acupuncture. Most remarkably, Caroline's progressive condition stopped progressing after five years of deep embodied work. This outcome wasn't achieved through focused effort to "fix" the problem, but through a process of creative engagement and acceptance. "No change—that's what's changed," she observes with profound simplicity. Caroline's journey illuminates the crucial distinction between curing and healing. While curing typically involves a single intervention aimed at removing symptoms, healing encompasses a more comprehensive process of transformation. By listening to her body instead of attempting to silence it, she discovered a pathway to peace that transcends our cultural obsession with perfection and fixing. Have you considered what messages your own body might be sending? What would change if you approached your physical challenges as invitations rather than obstacles? This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    30 min
  8. JUL 7

    Singing Fields and Silent Wisdom: Chloe Goodchild's Journey

    Send us a text What happens when you discover your voice is actually a gateway to spiritual awakening? In this soul-stirring conversation, Malcolm Stern welcomes singer-philosopher Chloe Goodchild, founder of The Naked Voice, for a profound exploration of sound, silence, and authentic expression. From an unexpected beginning—childhood deafness that immersed her in the language of silence—Chloe reveals how she transformed limitation into transcendent possibility. Her journey weaves through collaborations with composer John Tavener, where she embodied "the faceless, dark sound of the lost feminine," and spiritual pioneers like Gabrielle Roth who asked her simply to "sing stillness." The dialogue delves into life's essential questions: What if suffering offers the highest form of vitality? How might chaos serve as a catalyst for transformation? Why do some follow their soul's calling despite conventional pressures to pursue security and status? As Malcolm notes, "Inside every one of us is a daemon that will drive us nuts until we do what we were born to do." Both hosts reflect on embracing eldership rather than retirement, continuing to expand their gifts and wisdom with age. The conversation culminates in Chloe's stunning performance of "Om Tara," a devotional piece to the Buddhist deity of compassion that embodies everything discussed—the integration of sound and silence, suffering and transcendence, individual voice and universal connection. For anyone questioning their path, feeling silenced, or seeking deeper meaning amidst global uncertainty, this episode offers a resonant reminder that authentic expression isn't about performance but presence—a way of "restoring living presence to the ears of humanity." Chloe Goodchild: Singer, Author, Founder of The Naked Voice (North Atlantic Books 2015) https://www.chloegoodchild.com/ | https://www.thenakedvoice.com/ This Podcast is sponsored by Onlinevents

    42 min

About

"Slay your dragons with compassion" To become equal to the dream sewn within us, our heart must break open and usually must break more than once. That’s why they say that the only heart worth having is a broken heart. For only in breaking can it open fully and reveal what is hidden within." - Michael Meade This is a series of podcasts based on the premise explored in Malcolm Stern’s acclaimed book of the same name, that adversity provides us with the capacity to develop previously unexplored depths and is , in effect , a crucible for self reflection and awareness. Malcolm lost his daughter Melissa to suicide in 2014. It slowly dawned on him over the following few years that he was being educated and an opportunity was being presented where new insights helped him forge a path through his grief and despair. As part of that cathartic journey, he wrote “ Slay Your Dragons with Compassion ( Watkins 2020 ) where he was able to describe some of the practices that had helped him shed light on a way through the darkness.  Having run courses for a number of years for Onlinevents, he entered into a collaboration with John and Sandra Wilson, to put together a series of podcasts which featured interviews with people who had found enrichment through facing into, and ultimately overcoming adversity. The intention was to provide inspiration for its listeners to map out and challenge their own adversity. Some of his guests are well known - others less so, but each has a story to tell of courage, insight and spiritual and emotional intelligence.  More than 50 podcasts have been published so far and include Jo Berry’s moving story of transforming her fathers murder by the IRA in the Brighton bomb blast ( Sir Anthony Berry) by engaging with Pat McGee ( the man who planted the bomb) and finding forgiveness and meaning and an unlikely friendship. Andrew Patterson was an international cricketer who has found purpose and meaning after a genetic illness paralysed him and ended his sporting career. Jay Birch was an armed robber and meth addict , who woke up to his true self and now mentors and coaches other troubled individuals and Jim McCarty, a founder member of the Yardbirds , shares his story of his wife’s death from cancer and the deep spirituality he found in the wake of her passing.  All the podcasts are presented by Malcolm Stern. Who  has worked as a group and individual psychotherapist for more than 30 years. He is Co-Founder of Alternatives at St James’ Church in London and runs groups internationally. Sponsored by Onlineventshttps://www.onlinevents.co.uk/

You Might Also Like