Slaying Sober

James Date

Where we tell stories of addiction, recovery and hope.

  1. Ep. 37 - Ben Murphy - The Magic of Sobriety: Fame, Alcohol, Hope and Curiosity

    MAY 4

    Ep. 37 - Ben Murphy - The Magic of Sobriety: Fame, Alcohol, Hope and Curiosity

    In this powerful episode of Slaying Sober, James sits down with magician, illusionist and radio host Ben Murphy — a self‑confessed “man about town” who’s spent his life chasing the spotlight. From sick kid obsessed with clown doctors in a Brisbane hospital to world‑touring illusionist breaking Houdini records in the US, Ben built a dream career on limelight, applause and escape acts. But behind the smoke and mirrors, alcohol was quietly running the show. Ben opens up about growing up as one of the only openly gay kids at his Queensland school, using comedy as a shield, and finding his first “high” in the attention that came with magic. He shares how touring the world, business‑class flights and influencer‑style red carpets slowly turned into lonely hotel rooms, airport vodkas at 9am, and a drinking pattern so warped he started lying to strangers just to protect it. Despite a successful career and a long‑term partner, Ben lost the thing that matters most: hope. Now over six years sober, Ben talks candidly about the moments that scared him straight — from waking up last on a plane with the crew staring at him, to watching his partner sit at the end of their street because he was scared to come home. He explains why traditional 12‑step didn’t fit, how SMART Recovery and medication helped him take ownership, and why his worst day sober is still better than his best day drunk. This is a raw, funny and deeply human conversation about identity, love, risk, and rebuilding a life you actually want to be present for. Find Ben at: https://www.instagram.com/thebenmurphy_/ https://www.benmurphy.com.au/

    58 min
  2. Ep. 36 - Normies, Addicts, and the Villain Role: Rethinking How We ‘Help’ with Amber Hollingsworth from Put the Shovel Down

    APR 7

    Ep. 36 - Normies, Addicts, and the Villain Role: Rethinking How We ‘Help’ with Amber Hollingsworth from Put the Shovel Down

    On today’s episode of Slaying Sober, we’re going way past “just stop drinking” and into the messy, real psychology of addiction with therapist and YouTube weapon Amber Hollingsworth from Put the Shovel Down. You asked for it – this one is for the normies and the addicts. Think of it as a no‑bullshit therapy session for the partners, parents, and friends who are desperate to help but keep getting burned in the process. We unpack how trying to “save” someone can accidentally turn you into the villain of their story, pushing them deeper into shame, fear, secrecy, and using. You’ll hear how to swap punishment for real‑world consequences, and use simple, practical strategies that actually encourage change instead of fuelling more fights and relapses. We also tackle the big one: is addiction a moral failing or a disease—and why the answer changes everything about how you talk to yourself and the people you love. This episode is funny, raw, and seriously practical. Hit play for yourself, or share it with the person in your life who thinks they understand addiction—you might both walk away seeing it completely differently. Ambers Bio: "After more than 20 years working with people struggling with addiction and the families who love them, I’ve come to a conclusion that goes against much of what people are told about addiction: it isn’t a hopeless condition that people are powerless over. More often, it’s a deeply ingrained pattern built on falsebeliefs, and false beliefs can be changed. Through my work, I’ve built a YouTube community of more than 800,000 subscribers. The comment I hear most often is, 'I wish I had known this years ago. I would have done everythingdifferently.'"   SocialMedia Links: Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT8PE1v0xFR9zLXOijxM6hgIG : https://www.instagram.com/puttheshoveldown/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/addictionrecoveryhope Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-hollingsworth-833111b8/

    55 min
  3. Ep. 35 - From $220K Lost To Lifelong Recovery: Shaun’s Story of Gambling Addiction

    MAR 29

    Ep. 35 - From $220K Lost To Lifelong Recovery: Shaun’s Story of Gambling Addiction

    Shaun “Big Red” McDonough thought a quick punt on a sure thing would make life easier – instead it cost him over $220,000, his self‑respect and almost his life. In this raw conversation, he shares how childhood poverty and violence, a “harmless” betting habit and online gambling led him to the train tracks, and how counselling, self‑exclusion tools and his daughter’s courage helped him start again. Shaun shares: Growing up in government housing with just him and his mum, surrounded by alcohol, family violence and poverty, relying on charity and support, and how that fuelled his drive to work hard, save and “do the right thing.” Leaving school early to support his mum, slowly chipping away at a mortgage, and finally being able to give his own family the Christmases he never had. How a one‑off Melbourne Cup tradition with his wife slowly normalised betting, and how an “easy” $2,000 bet on champion racehorse Winx to win $200 opened the floodgates. Losing around $220,000 over three to four years, burning through his work cover payout and dipping into his super, even while paying off the house and trying to give his family a better life. The way gambling changed his personality – lying, hiding, constantly flicking channels and phones to check races – and the damage it did to trust with his wife and daughter. Hitting rock bottom: Centrelink saying no when he had nothing left, sitting on train tracks ready to end his life, and multiple suicide attempts that even the betting company had to escalate to emergency services. His daughter’s lifesaving phone call to Gamblers Help, the years of counselling that followed, and why he still sees himself as “in recovery,” with that demon on his shoulder always tapping for one more bet. Practical tools that helped: Gamblers Help counselling, financial counselling, the national self‑exclusion register BetStop, and TAB Care to keep him out of venues and apps. Why he decided to go public with his story and now uses his lived experience to push for safer gambling laws and to stand alongside other addicts and their families. At the core of Shaun’s story is love: his relationship with his mum, how growing up in poverty and violence shaped his beliefs about money, safety and loyalty, and why he’s so passionate about helping others who were raised in the same chaos he was. This is a raw, honest, trigger‑warning conversation about gambling, secrecy, shame and suicide – but it’s also a powerful reminder that you’re not alone, and that there is a way out.

    1h 1m
  4. MAR 18

    Ep. 33 – Jordan: From Ram Raids to Recovery TikTok

    From daily ice and heroin use, ram raids and guns, to walking his kids into school and working in rehab – Jordan’s story is a slow, gritty rebuild from the ground up. He grew up in domestic violence, started drinking and using in high school, and by 20 was a daily ice user whose life revolved around crime, jail, and chasing the next hit. In this episode we unpack: How losing his dad during COVID sent his using into psychosis, homelessness and another stint inside Detoxing cold-turkey in jail and why drug court, meetings and a sponsor finally made recovery stick The brutal reality of starting again with no job, no career, broken trust and zero “normal adult” skills How he kept building slowly: doing what was suggested, taking guidance, rebuilding relationships and finding purpose in AOD work The routines that keep him clean today – being a present dad, simple daily structure, and staying connected to the rooms You’ll also hear how Jordan discovered recovery content on TikTok, why he now shares his own story there, and how “TikTok Jordan” is helping people in early recovery believe that a fulfilling, substance‑free life is possible. This episode is for you if: You feel stuck in the cycle of relapse, jail, courts or chaos You’re scared of starting again from nothing You’re a parent in addiction wondering if you can ever show up for your kids You’re in early recovery and need proof that slow change still works Hit play to hear how one bloke went from ram raids to recovery TikTok – and why he says the slow, suggested path is the one that finally set him free.

    37 min

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Where we tell stories of addiction, recovery and hope.

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