Podcast Show Notes Episode details * Episode number: 1 * Release date: 2026-03-26 * Hosts: * Natasha Stavros, PhD — author of The Unmasking Diary and Burning Inside Out (coming to a bookstore near you in December 2026) * Sarah Liebman — licensed marriage and family therapist, ADHD-diagnosed, special interests all things neurodiver * Audio Engineer and Composer: Noah Smith * Director: Linda Highfield * Duration: 31:41 * Audience and tone: Educational, conversational, supportive; stigma-free exploration of neurodivergence, diagnosis, and self-understanding using personal experience as a case study * Summary: A candid conversation about when you know when to get an adult neurodivergence assessment. Natasha Stavros and Sarah Liebman share their journeys—from misdiagnoses and the myth of “careless” behavior to moments of clarity when a diagnosis illuminates truth, agency, and resilience. The episode explores how partial diagnoses can feel like locks that won’t open until the full picture comes into view, and it emphasizes the transformative power of understanding and accurate diagnosis for empowering change. Key signs when to get an adult autism assessment: * When the story you’ve been told about who you are doesn’t align with who you feel you are; “if you are carrying around a truly paradoxical story about your goodness and badness, then that’s a good indicator.” * Misdiagnosis often stems from cultural narratives about willpower, which can obscure true cognitive and emotional patterns. A full, integrated diagnosis (not just partial pieces) often brings a sense of freedom and practical clarity for navigating life. * Early and ongoing validation from professionals and trusted others can counteract lifelong feelings of being misunderstood. * When you need to break the barrier of loneliness, feeling that your struggles are yours, and yours alone. * Sharing lived experiences can help reduce stigma and encourage others to pursue accurate assessment and supportive care. Resources and references For more information on this topic, Embrace Autism is an autistic-led, research-informed company that provides neurodiverse affirming educational resources. If you are looking for an adult autism assessment Prosper Health is a US provider and is current in their research and methods with support services including assessment, psychotherapy, educational seminars, and an online community. Call to action Subscribe or follow for more episodes in this series on unmasking and neurodivergence. Leave a review and share your own diagnostic journey to help others feel seen. Thanks for reading A Jester's Musings! This post is public so feel free to share it. Memoir Excerpt: My Late Autism Diagnosis Journey In 39 years, I never once identified as different. I was conditioned to comply. I identified as outside, and that something was different for me than for others, but never once did I think that I was different. Instead, I believed that I was a problem. The therapists, and there were probably at least a dozen, I had seen for nearly twenty years diagnosed me with depression, anxiety, symptoms of agoraphobia, insomnia, obsessive compulsive tendencies, and complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD). I believed that it was those traumas that made me different. It had never occurred to me that maybe the reason those traumas happened in the first place, was because- my brain didn’t process things the same way as others, that I am autistic. Never did anyone question my understanding of social reciprocity, non-verbal communication, or the expectations of maintaining relationships. Instead, I was malignant, manipulative, abrasive, direct, rude, outspoken, and arrogant. Never did it occur to me that my hyper-organization or compulsive behaviors were really just coping skills to soothe the anxiety that stemmed from hyper-stimulation and sensitivity to sensory input. Not once did anyone question that my insatiable appetite to learn was a special interest in how the brain collected and processed information into knowledge and wisdom. When I excelled at school, sport, or really anything that captured my attention, no one thought to question why I was so driven by the routine and structure of practice, repetition, and focus to hone my craft. With success and accolades came waning mental health, a spiral into loneliness and despair. No one could stand to be around me day in and day out. Until my husband, no boyfriend lasted more than a year. Most friendships were short and sweet or they were so distant and sporadic that they didn’t take a daily toll. Friends that lasted weren’t without turbulence. Well, that’s not even really being honest. Turbulence would imply some rocky bits, when in fact- most of my friendships nose dived. In 2020 I left a job that had me questioning my value and worth on a quarterly basis for a job that fed that same insecurity while devouring my social capital. That job took away my entire research portfolio, everything I had worked for. It stripped me of the joy and passion that fueled me. To protect my family, I abandoned my research and took another job. Not long after, that job also questioned my judgement navigating social dynamics. This became the sole metric by which my work was judged - how well my colleagues liked and trusted me. It didn’t matter that my work was thorough, that my productivity surpassed my peers, or that I solved complex problems with solutions that took others months to realize was the right path forward. My peers thought I was inconsistent, my emotions dysregulated, and my social behaviors strange. Tirelessly, I questioned, what could have gone wrong? I tried to do it differently this time. I tried to do everything that was expected, and yet - I still could not meet social expectations. I had taken classes and read books - despite my ability to learn just about anything, I couldn’t seem to do this - at least not well enough to stop the train wreck from happening again. I applied for another job. I got this job. I thought, “l’ll do it differently this time.” I convinced myself that if I was open and transparent about what was hard for me or that my impact on people often didn’t align with my intention, that maybe - just maybe, it would be different. Three months into the job, there was an incident, and I knew - in my core, the fear erupted through my being. I broke down. All my past experiences pulsed through me, running through my mind on repeat. I convinced myself I could pretend it was fine, and that eventually it would normalize. It didn’t. That’s when my friend had mentioned that I might be autistic. That’s when I knew - I needed an assessment. The above text is a snippet from my next book: After the Masquerade. For early access to the book and other resources. Get full access to A Jester's Musings at natashastavros.substack.com/subscribe
