Split Resilience: Putting Kids in the Middle of Divorce

Tammy Sutherns
  • 5.0 (1)
  • PARENTING

Divorce changes a family; but it doesn’t have to break one. Split Resilience is the podcast for parents navigating the messy, complicated, and often overwhelming realities of separation. Hosted by Tammy Sutherns, a mother, storyteller, and advocate for child well-being, this show brings expert insight and real-life conversations to help families rewrite their story after a split and help their children feel safe, seen and secure. Whether you’re newly separated, deep in the trenches, or years out and still figuring it out,this podcast is a judgment-free space to support you - and your kids.

Episodes

  1. Gray Divorce and the Grown Kids Left in the Middle

    FEB 3

    Gray Divorce and the Grown Kids Left in the Middle

    Think adult kids are immune to divorce? Think again. In this episode, researcher Joleen Greenwood unpacks the hidden impact of gray divorce on adult children and what helps families move through it with more honesty, boundaries, and care.

    47 min
  2. Invest a Day in the Life of Your Child: The Science Behind the New Beginnings Program

    12/08/2025

    Invest a Day in the Life of Your Child: The Science Behind the New Beginnings Program

    In this conversation, I sit down with Dr. Irwin Sandler, co-creator of the New Beginnings Program: a decades-long, research-backed intervention proven to strengthen parenting, reduce conflict, and support children’s mental health after divorce. Irwin and I walk through how the program began, what the early randomized trials revealed, and why the six- and fifteen-year results still feel astonishing today. He shares simple, powerful parenting practices, like catching your child “doing good” and building consistent routines, and explains in plain language why consistency matters so much for a child’s developing brain. We also discuss how the team translated the entire curriculum into an online experience accessible to parents anywhere, without losing the heart or effectiveness of the original program. If you’re navigating separation or supporting families, this episode offers clarity, warmth, and practical hope that change is possible for both parents and kids. Find out more at www.splitresilience.com or www.divorceandparenting.com

    49 min
  3. It’s Not Your Fault: Healing After Divorce

    10/15/2025

    It’s Not Your Fault: Healing After Divorce

    What happens when you take one of childhood’s most invisible wounds, growing up through your parents’ divorce, and turn it into purpose? In this powerful episode, I sit down with Joey Pontarelli, founder of Restored and author of It’s Not Your Fault, to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities of life after family breakdown. Joey shares his own story of pain, healing, and redemption, from feeling abandoned and ashamed as an 11-year-old to building a global movement that helps teens and young adults from divorced or dysfunctional families find hope and healing. We talk about: Why so many kids secretly blame themselves for their parents’ divorce How to stop the cycle of dysfunction from repeating The role of faith, community, and meaning in rebuilding your life What parents can do right now to support their children through separation This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating divorce, as a parent, a child, or someone still healing from the ripple effects of family breakdown. Learn more about Joey’s work at restoredministry.com and follow Split Resilience for more conversations that turn pain into power.

    50 min
  4. When Community Shows Up: SAFE Alliance & Touch-a-Truck

    09/03/2025

    When Community Shows Up: SAFE Alliance & Touch-a-Truck

    In this episode of Split Resilience, host Tammy Sutherns sits down with Laramie Gorbett of SAFE Alliance to talk about hope, healing, and community. Laramie shares her journey of working with survivors of gender-based violence and explains how SAFE Alliance has been a lifeline for families in Austin for over 50 years. They also dive into Touch-a-Truck, SAFE’s signature family event where kids get to climb into fire trucks, bulldozers, and even school buses, all while raising critical funds to keep families safe. Together, Tammy and Laramie explore why events like this matter, how they build awareness in unexpected ways, and what resilience really looks like when a community comes together. Buy a ticket for Touch-A-Truck in Austin on September 27th here. Visit  safeaustin.org.

    23 min
  5. Beyond the Breakup: Raising Resilient Kids When Love Gets Complicated

    07/25/2025

    Beyond the Breakup: Raising Resilient Kids When Love Gets Complicated

    In this deeply honest and insightful episode of Split Resilience, I sit down with Steven Spears, a family therapist with both personal and professional experience navigating divorce and childhood trauma. Together, we explore what children really need during separation, how to protect them from high-conflict dynamics, and why resilience isn’t about being “tough”—it’s about feeling safe and seen. Steven shares his own childhood story, explains why courts sometimes miss the mark, and offers tangible, compassionate advice for parents doing their best in tough circumstances. Whether you’re in the thick of a co-parenting storm or just lying awake wondering if your kid will be okay, this one’s for you. Takeaways: Divorce is a journey with ongoing ripple effects.Children are resilient, but they need support.Parental conflict can deeply affect children.It's crucial to foster connection with children during tough times.Repairing relationships after conflict is essential for family health.Safe spaces at home are vital for children's emotional well-being.Hypervigilance in children can stem from parental conflict.Navigating court issues can be challenging for families.Stigma around divorce can impact both parents and children.Parents must prioritize their own emotional health to support their children. Find Steven at: https://counselingbysteven.com/

    49 min
  6. Boundary Badassery: Healing, Co-Parenting, and Calling Out Coercive Control with Jan & Jillian Yuhas

    07/17/2025

    Boundary Badassery: Healing, Co-Parenting, and Calling Out Coercive Control with Jan & Jillian Yuhas

    In this powerful episode, I sit down with identical twins, licensed mediators, and boundary powerhouses Jan and Jillian Yuhas, co-founders of Divorce Family Mediations. With their signature blend of insight, strategy, and empathy, they break down the nuanced (and often misunderstood) concept of coercive control in co-parenting relationships—and what it really takes to protect children through divorce and beyond. We talk about: Why kids run away (hint: it’s rarely what parents think) What “high-conflict” really means in a co-parenting dynamic How trauma informs parenting patterns—and how to break free What a loophole-free parenting plan looks like in real life The biggest boundary mistake co-parents make (and how to fix it) Why emotional regulation is your biggest power move You’ll also hear their compelling case for shifting from trauma-informed ultimatums to value-aligned boundary setting and how this simple shift can transform your co-parenting experience. Whether you're navigating the messy middle of separation, advocating for your kids in family court, or supporting someone who is, this is an episode packed with clarity, comfort, and next steps. 📚 Explore Jan & Jillian’s Work:→ Book: Boundary Badass→ Online Courses: Courses & Scripts→ Blog: Coercive Co-Parenting Insights→ Instagram: @divorcefamilymediation 🔗 Ready to work with them? Book a consultation here: divorcefamilymediations.com

    48 min
  7. Weaponized Love: The Truth About Coercive Control with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

    07/10/2025

    Weaponized Love: The Truth About Coercive Control with Dr. Christine Cocchiola

    This conversation delves into the complexities of coercive control, psychological abuse, and the journey of healing for survivors. The speaker shares personal experiences that intertwine with their professional advocacy work, emphasizing the importance of recognizing signs of abuse, the impact of trauma on parenting, and the development of a protective parenting program. The discussion also highlights the challenges faced within the legal system and the need for greater understanding and support for protective parents. Takeaways: The importance of validation in healing from trauma.Coercive control is a pervasive pattern of behavior.Recognizing psychological abuse is crucial for recovery.Protective parenting can help rebuild trust with children.The legal system often fails to recognize coercive control.Trauma can significantly impact parenting dynamics.Creating a safe space for children is essential.Self-care is vital for protective parents.Understanding the abuser's tactics can empower victims.Community support is key for healing and resilience. Chapters 00:00 The Journey of Healing and Validation 01:40 Personal Experience Meets Professional Advocacy 06:58 Recognizing Coercive Control 10:48 Understanding Psychological Abuse 12:42 Identifying Signs of Abuse 16:53 The Impact of Trauma on Parenting 23:30 Protective Parenting Program: A New Approach 28:43 Navigating Injustice and Victim Blaming 39:45 Legal System and Coercive Control 45:51 Final Thoughts for Protective Parents Resources: Coercive Control Consulting I Know Your Heart Perfect Prey Podcast TEDx Talk by Dr. Christine Cocchiola

    47 min
  8. Will Divorce Damage my Children? Interview with Jennifer Merrill from Insight Counselling

    06/26/2025

    Will Divorce Damage my Children? Interview with Jennifer Merrill from Insight Counselling

    Keywords: divorce, parenting, relationships, counseling, trauma, communication, co-parenting, family dynamics, emotional health, child safety Summary: This conversation delves into the complexities of relationships, particularly during times of transition such as divorce. We discuss the importance of maintaining healthy communication, understanding the impact of trauma on relationships, and the necessity of creating safe spaces for children amidst family changes. We explore strategies for co-parenting, the significance of emotional regulation, and the role of therapy in navigating these challenges. The dialogue emphasizes the need for connection and support for both parents and children during difficult times. Takeaways: Relationships can cause trauma but also help in healing.Healthy communication is crucial in co-parenting.Children need a stable environment to thrive.Divorce impacts children based on how it's handled.Emotional regulation is key for parents during transitions.Creating rituals of connection strengthens relationships.It's important to prioritize the couple's relationship for the children's well-being.Honesty without disparagement fosters trust in children.Therapy can be beneficial for both parents and children.Forgiveness and self-reflection are essential for growth. To learn more about Jennifer's work, visit www.insightcounsellingatx.com

    39 min
  • 8 Episodes

About

Divorce changes a family; but it doesn’t have to break one. Split Resilience is the podcast for parents navigating the messy, complicated, and often overwhelming realities of separation. Hosted by Tammy Sutherns, a mother, storyteller, and advocate for child well-being, this show brings expert insight and real-life conversations to help families rewrite their story after a split and help their children feel safe, seen and secure. Whether you’re newly separated, deep in the trenches, or years out and still figuring it out,this podcast is a judgment-free space to support you - and your kids.

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