Start with Small Steps

Jill from The Northwoods
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Start With Small Steps is a practical, thoughtful podcast about making meaningful progress in everyday life—without overwhelm. Each episode breaks big ideas into small, manageable steps you can actually use, whether you’re working on habits, health, productivity, faith, or personal growth. Instead of chasing quick fixes or perfect systems, this podcast focuses on steady change, reflection, and realistic action. You’ll hear clear explanations, relatable examples, and simple frameworks designed to help you think better, choose wisely, and keep moving forward—even when life feels complicated or slow. Start With Small Steps is for anyone who wants growth that fits real life: small actions, honest reflection, and progress that lasts.

  1. 1D AGO

    280 - Every Yes Is a No to Something Else — Learning to Say No With Purpose

    You said yes. And now you have that sinking feeling. The committee, the favor, the project that just got added to the pile — you agreed, you were kind, and now you're wondering what you're going to give up to fit it in. Most of us have been there more times than we can count. The problem isn't generosity. The problem is that we tend to think of saying yes as additive — just one more good thing on the list. But your calendar doesn't work like that. Your energy doesn't work like that. Every yes is, at that exact moment, a no to something else. The Economics of Your Attention There's a term from economics that applies beautifully here: opportunity cost. Every choice has a cost — not just in money, but in time, energy, and focus. When you say yes to one thing, you are implicitly saying no to something else. That's not math being gloomy; it's math being honest. The question isn't whether opportunity cost exists. The question is whether you're being intentional about what you're trading away when you say yes by default. The Buffett List: What Makes It to Your Top Five? There's a widely circulated story — attributed to Warren Buffett, though he's since distanced himself from the exact version — about a prioritization exercise. Write down your top 25 goals or projects. Circle the five most important. Here's the surprising part: the 20 you didn't circle don't go on a "someday" list. They go on an avoid-at-all-costs list. Because those are the things most likely to tempt you away from what actually matters most. They're not bad things. They're your most dangerous distractions precisely because they seem reasonable. The Essentialist Question Greg McKeon's book Essentialism offers one line that I've carried for years: "If you don't prioritize your life, someone else will." The non-essentialist tells themselves they can do it all, then ends up scattered, overwhelmed, and resentful. The essentialist asks a different question before committing: not "is this a good thing?" but "what am I actually saying no to if I say yes to this?" Intentionality doesn't mean selfishness. It means protecting what actually matters. The One Rule That Cuts Through the Noise One framework making the rounds in productivity circles: if it's not a clear, enthusiastic yes, it's a no. Not "well, I suppose I could." Not a vague feeling of obligation or social pressure. If it's not a genuine "I would love to do this," the answer is no. Most of the commitments that drain us weren't the ones we were excited about in the first place. Before any yes, three questions: Does this align with my top priorities right now? What will I have to give up — and am I truly okay with that? Am I energized by this or drained by it? How to Say No Without a Long Apology Most of us over-explain our no's. The long list of reasons, the three apologies, the exhaustive justification. Here's a gentler truth: a graceful no can be brief and warm. "I appreciate you thinking of me, but I'm not able to take this on right now — I'm focused on some things that need my full attention." That's it. No elaborate explanation required. Longer justifications invite negotiation and can feel more disingenuous than a clean, honest no. And if you need time: "Let me check my schedule and get back to you" — then actually look at those three questions before you respond. What About Yeses You've Already Given? The sunk cost fallacy is real: we keep doing things because we've already invested in them, even when the investment no longer makes sense. For existing commitments: if you were asked today, would you say yes? If the answer is no, a graceful exit may be worth considering. Not every commitment can be unwound — you'll need to weigh the relationship and other obligations. But some things can be handed off, stepped back from, or simply ended. What you've already spent doesn't obligate you to keep spending. One Small Habit Shift Most of us start the day asking: what do I need to do today? Try adding a second question alongside it: what will I say no to today? Is something on the schedule that doesn't belong? A request you know is coming that you need to think about in advance? One deliberate no per day. Five per week. Twenty per month. That's real space to do the things that actually belong at the top of your list. Thanks for spending time with me today. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    30 min

  2. APR 28

    279 - What Season of Life Are You Actually In?

    There's a moment in most people's lives when the timeline stops making sense. You're 45 and feel like you're starting over. You're 30 and feel completely stuck. Age isn't the map — and that's actually good news. The Framework: Four Seasons, Zero Timeline This isn't about young = spring and old = winter. The seasons framework is about where you are right now, what the moment is calling for — and recognizing that you can be 60 years old and fully in spring. The seasons aren't assigned. They're identified. Spring: Potential Energy Spring is new beginnings, fresh ground, high curiosity. You're learning fast, asking questions, trying things out. Perfectionism is the enemy here. The ground is fertile — your job is to plant, not to harvest yet. Summer: Consistent Effort Summer is expansion. You have roots now. You're building on a foundation, deepening commitments, doing work that won't pay off until later. It's rarely dramatic. It's just showing up, protecting your energy, and doing the thing. Autumn: The Harvest Autumn is when the work pays off. You've made enough mistakes to recognize patterns. You have real expertise — and something worth teaching. This is the season to sharpen, protect what you've built, and start giving back. Winter: The Underrated Season Winter is not failure. The tree isn't dead — it's preparing. Winter is rest, reflection, slow invisible growth. If you're in winter right now, you're not behind. You're doing exactly what the season requires. Micro-Seasons and the Right Move at the Right Time We're often in multiple seasons simultaneously. Your career might be in summer while a relationship is in winter. The framework gets practical when you map the micro-seasons — specific areas of your life — and ask what each one actually needs right now. The right move in the wrong season is still the wrong move. What To Do With This Identify your current season — big picture and micro. Write down two to three practical steps that actually fit that season. Season awareness isn't about forcing growth. It's about doing the right thing at the right time — and trusting the cycle. Season awareness is a quiet superpower. When you stop fighting the season you're in and start working with it, ordinary days stop being so ordinary. Like the trees, you do the next right thing for where you are. Trust the cycle. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    18 min

  3. APR 21

    278 - Act First, Understand Later — How Real Change Actually Happens

    Most self-help advice puts understanding before action — figure out why you're stuck, heal from your past, then start moving. But what if that order is exactly backwards? In this episode, we dig into why real change almost always starts with movement, not insight, and what that means for the areas of your life where you've been waiting to feel ready. 🔑 What's Really Happening When We 'Work on Ourselves' There's a common pattern in personal growth culture: understand yourself first, heal, get brave, then change your behavior. It sounds responsible, even thoughtful. But it may be the very thing keeping people stuck — because clarity tends to follow action, not precede it. 🔑 Action Generates Feedback That Your Head Can't When you act first — even imperfectly, even nervously — you get real-world data. You notice where you slow down, where you freeze, what wasn't as bad as you imagined. The doing reveals the problem more clearly than any amount of journaling or reflection ever could. 🔑 You Don't Have to Finish the Puzzle First Excavating your personal history before you allow yourself to make different choices today is a long, heavy process — and it's all dressed up as progress. But you are allowed to act before you've sorted everything out. Understanding often comes after the small step, not before. 🔑 A Personal Story: Money, Trust, and Moving Anyway A story about a childhood experience with stolen savings — and the long-term pattern it created around money — illustrates how understanding the root cause wasn't what changed things. Acting first is what started breaking the pattern open. Insight followed from there. 🔑 The Investor Who Was Wrong for Decades A real example closes the episode: a man who avoided the stock market his whole life because of distrust — only to realize later how much that belief had cost him. Sometimes we can't afford to wait for our misconceptions to resolve themselves. Sometimes we just have to act. Your small step this week: what's one thing you could do in the area where you've been waiting to feel ready? You don't have to understand it first. Just start. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    13 min

  4. APR 14

    277 - You're Not Failing. You're Building a Toolkit

    What if you haven't failed at something once or twice — you've been failing at the same thing for decades? Last week was public failure. This week it's private, repeated, long-term failure. And it's harder in a different way. For me, that thing is weight. I've been trying to lose it since I was a child. And what I eventually figured out about all those attempts changed the entire way I look at failure. Private Failure Has Its Own Weight No one sees you stepping on the scale at six in the morning. No one sees the attempt that was working until it stopped. The people in your corner see the headlines — a good week, twenty pounds gone — but not the daily private reality. Private failure is lonely. And the accumulation of it can start to feel like evidence that you are simply broken in this one particular way. The Fresh Start Trap Our culture loves the clean-slate story. But fresh starts often require throwing away everything learned from the last attempt. Jenny Craig out, Weight Watchers in — and you're back at the beginning, carrying nothing forward. After years of this, Jill realized: what if the knowledge from the last attempt was actually valuable? What if she didn't need to start over — she just needed to iterate? Building a Toolkit from Every Attempt Every attempt gave her something: the trainer fourteen years ago taught fitness science she still uses today. Weight Watchers gave her a food framework she still applies. Every time she thought she was starting over, she was actually carrying something forward — a principle that had become second nature, a piece of self-knowledge she didn't have before, a habit that had quietly snuck in. The Wrong Question — and the Right One 'Why can't I make this happen?' assumes the problem is willpower or discipline. But what if something else is actually going wrong — something metabolic, hormonal, or structural — that no amount of grit can fix? Changing the question from 'what's wrong with me' to 'what is actually going wrong' opens a completely different door. Iteration Is Not Failure on Repeat Iteration is progress. It's what happens when you make small incremental adjustments and try again — not a complete overhaul, just a nudge here and a nudge there. Every attempt is a little better than the last. You're not the person who keeps failing at the same thing. You're the person who keeps iterating on a hard problem. And you are not done yet. Closing When you look at a long history of attempts, the thing that's actually happening is not an unbroken record of failure. It's an unbroken record of getting back up. That stubbornness — the quiet, unglamorous stubbornness of refusing to stay down — is actually the thing. Next week we talk about what happens when those iterations finally reach the right conditions. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    19 min

  5. APR 7

    276 - You're Not Failing on Repeat — You're Iterating

    What if you haven't failed at something once or twice — you've been failing at the same thing for decades? Last week was public failure. This week it's private, repeated, long-term failure. And it's harder in a different way. For me, that thing is weight. I've been trying to lose it since I was a child. And what I eventually figured out about all those attempts changed the entire way I look at failure. Private Failure Has Its Own Weight No one sees you stepping on the scale at six in the morning. No one sees the attempt that was working until it stopped. The people in your corner see the headlines — a good week, twenty pounds gone — but not the daily private reality. Private failure is lonely. And the accumulation of it can start to feel like evidence that you are simply broken in this one particular way. The Fresh Start Trap Our culture loves the clean-slate story. But fresh starts often require throwing away everything learned from the last attempt. Jenny Craig out, Weight Watchers in — and you're back at the beginning, carrying nothing forward. After years of this, Jill realized: what if the knowledge from the last attempt was actually valuable? What if she didn't need to start over — she just needed to iterate? Building a Toolkit from Every Attempt Every attempt gave her something: the trainer fourteen years ago taught fitness science she still uses today. Weight Watchers gave her a food framework she still applies. Every time she thought she was starting over, she was actually carrying something forward — a principle that had become second nature, a piece of self-knowledge she didn't have before, a habit that had quietly snuck in. The Wrong Question — and the Right One 'Why can't I make this happen?' assumes the problem is willpower or discipline. But what if something else is actually going wrong — something metabolic, hormonal, or structural — that no amount of grit can fix? Changing the question from 'what's wrong with me' to 'what is actually going wrong' opens a completely different door. Iteration Is Not Failure on Repeat Iteration is progress. It's what happens when you make small incremental adjustments and try again — not a complete overhaul, just a nudge here and a nudge there. Every attempt is a little better than the last. You're not the person who keeps failing at the same thing. You're the person who keeps iterating on a hard problem. And you are not done yet. Closing When you look at a long history of attempts, the thing that's actually happening is not an unbroken record of failure. It's an unbroken record of getting back up. That stubbornness — the quiet, unglamorous stubbornness of refusing to stay down — is actually the thing. Next week we talk about what happens when those iterations finally reach the right conditions. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist, life coach, or mental health professional. Any habits, strategies, or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or counseling advice. Results vary — small steps look different for everyone. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    17 min

  6. MAR 31

    275 - Bouncing Forward: When Everyone Thinks You Failed

    Have you ever failed publicly — in a way that everyone around you could see? I did. I walked away from a high-status, well-paying job with no backup plan, no other offer, and no real financial cushion. And everyone in my world was watching. This is the first episode in my Bouncing Forward mini-series, and it's about exactly that — not bouncing back to where you were, but bouncing forward to somewhere better. Why Some People Don't Come Back Public failure carries a specific kind of weight — the humiliation, the awareness that people are watching, the fear that what you did will define how they see you. I've watched people fold under that weight, cutting off friendships, avoiding eye contact, never recovering. This episode is about making sure that doesn't happen to you. The Job She Left A high-demand company, team awards (the hardest ones to win there), 100+ hour work weeks, and then a boss who made clear that the punishing pace was now the permanent expectation. Jill's best friend cleared out her entire office in one visit and said: you're done here. Three weeks later she walked out with no job lined up — and everyone knew it. Resist the First Life Raft The temptation in public failure is to grab whatever comes along first, just to stop the bleeding. Jill did the opposite. She analyzed what had made her miserable, what she had actually loved, and built a clear picture of what the next role needed to look like. New hire training, for example, had been one of the highlights of her month — that was going on the list. The Shift: From Job-Seeker to Evaluator The moment she got clear on what she actually wanted, the dynamic changed completely. She was no longer interviewing for jobs — they were auditioning for her. She needed to be convinced this company would make her happy. That shift in mindset changed everything about how she approached the search. The Landing Is More Important Than the Fall Three weeks after making her list, Jill found the job she spent the next fifteen years in. Everyone sees you fall. But everyone also sees where you land. If you can hold out long enough to aim the landing — to figure out what the next chapter actually needs to look like rather than just stopping the bleeding — the bounce forward becomes something real. Closing Whatever your situation looks like — a relationship, a city, a business, a role in your family — the fears are probably similar. What am I going to do? How will I pay for this? But if you can resist grabbing the first life raft and instead ask: what does the next chapter need to look like? — that's where the real bounce forward happens. Next week we talk about private, long-term failure. Different kind of hard. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    15 min

  7. MAR 24

    274 - 5-Minute Habits That Actually Change Your Life

    The habits that change your life most are rarely the dramatic ones. They are the five-minute ones — the invisible ones — that compound quietly over months and years until the trajectory of your life has shifted in ways you never could have predicted from a single day. In this episode I walk through the specific small habits that have made the biggest difference in my own life, organized around four categories: morning anchors, friction design, habit stacking, and automatic systems. These are not theoretical. They are things I actually do, including some I stumbled into by accident and some I built deliberately after years of trying harder things that did not work. Morning anchors are the first category — small actions at the start of the day that set the frame for everything that follows. Drinking water before coffee or food addresses the mild dehydration most of us carry through our mornings without knowing it. Getting two minutes of natural sunlight supports your circadian rhythm and lifts mood in ways artificial light simply cannot replicate. Reading one page of something meaningful — even one page of the Bible — instead of reaching for your phone can add up to fifteen or twenty books over the course of a year. And beginning the morning with prayer or a moment of deliberate gratitude changes the lens through which you see every decision that follows. Friction design is the second category, and it is where I have seen the most consistent results. The principle is simple: make the things you want to do easier, and make the things you do not want to do inconvenient. I do not ban junk food. I just do not buy it on a regular grocery run. Getting Doritos requires a separate trip to the store, which is apparently too much effort. I have used this same logic with snack placement in my home, with my phone during conversations, and with the candy bowls at my office. Nobody felt deprived. The behavior just quietly changed. Habit stacking is the third category. The habits that last are almost always the ones attached to behaviors you already do reliably — ankle exercises while brushing teeth, wiping a counter zone during every standing break, carrying something with you every time you go up or down stairs. No extra willpower required. The old habit carries the new one. The fourth category is automatic systems — habits that run without any decision being made. Saving a fixed amount from every paycheck before you see it. Saving the full difference every time you get a raise, because you already proved you could live on the old amount. I have been doing this for nearly thirty years. It is not exciting. It is exactly how I built the retirement savings I have. One percent better, every day. James Clear did the math in Atomic Habits. The small steps do not feel significant in the moment. That is precisely why they work. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    17 min

  8. MAR 17

    273 - How to Steer Your Life in a New Direction

    Do you need a reinvention — or just a reset? In this episode I'm getting honest about the gap between wanting something in your life and actually deciding to go after it. This isn't about blowing everything up. It's about stopping the drift and quietly, firmly, pointing yourself in a new direction. What Does a Real Reset Look Like? Most people who try to reset their lives go too big — new city, extreme diet, dramatic quit. Three months later they're exhausted. A reset isn't a reinvention. It's a readjustment of your trajectory. Small, consistent course corrections compound into big change over time. Desire vs. Decision In your 20s you have plenty of desire. By your 50s you realize desire without decision is just a fantasy. A decision is expensive — not always in money, but in comfort, habit, and excuses. The shift happens when you stop wanting and start committing daily, not someday. The Cost of Drifting Drift feels harmless because it's slow. Health drifts. Finances drift. Relationships grow distant. And then one day you look up and a decade is gone. The good news: you don't have to fix it all at once. You just have to stop drifting and start steering. Subtraction Before Addition Every meaningful reset requires giving something up first — scrolling, convenience eating, saying yes to everything, avoiding hard conversations. What are you protecting that is actually keeping you stuck? What are you unwilling to give up that's costing you your future? Consistency Is the Unsexy Secret Speed is overrated. Stability compounds. Whether it's filling one garbage bin a week to organize your house, or committing to one daily walk, small reliable actions done over time get you further than any dramatic leap. I've lost 80 pounds. It wasn't one big moment — it was a thousand small ones. You don't need a new life. You need a slightly new direction and the willingness to move toward it today — one small step at a time. Jill’s Links http://jillfromthenorthwoods.com https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

    29 min
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About

Start With Small Steps is a practical, thoughtful podcast about making meaningful progress in everyday life—without overwhelm. Each episode breaks big ideas into small, manageable steps you can actually use, whether you’re working on habits, health, productivity, faith, or personal growth. Instead of chasing quick fixes or perfect systems, this podcast focuses on steady change, reflection, and realistic action. You’ll hear clear explanations, relatable examples, and simple frameworks designed to help you think better, choose wisely, and keep moving forward—even when life feels complicated or slow. Start With Small Steps is for anyone who wants growth that fits real life: small actions, honest reflection, and progress that lasts.

Information

  • Creator
    Jill from The Northwoods
  • Years Active
    2020 - 2026
  • Episodes
    281
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/
  • Show Website
    Start with Small Steps