Static Radio

Bob LeMent
  • 4.6 (8)
  • COMEDY
  • UPDATED WEEKLY

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

  1. 6H AGO

    Expired Coupons

    Bob endures a teeth cleaning that becomes rather suspect, while Miles gets bad news about his sister, but not that bad. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/2q5jIg_041Y Bob endures a teeth cleaning that becomes rather suspect, while Miles gets bad news about his sister, but not that bad. Cookie Hygiene Bad AI Transcript [su_qrcode data=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/05/12/cookie-hygiene/” title=”Cookie Hygiene” link=”https://www.staticradio.com/2026/05/12/cookie-hygiene/” ——————————–Bad AI Transcript of the show this week——————————-

    38 min

  2. 4D AGO

    Mondo Freako - The Devil's Lake Monster

    The Devil’s Lake Monster Bob and “The Old Man” explore the legend of Oregon’s Devil’s Lake Monster, a unique “hairy octopus” creature. After a competitive trivia segment, the conversation shifts to personal paranormal experiences, including high-speed aerial orbs and eerie encounters with shadow people. The duo delves into a philosophical discussion on faith, imagination, and the supernatural. They conclude that modern technology often distracts from the mysteries of the universe, sharing stories of ghostly cigarette smoke and childhood sightings to emphasize that the world is far more mysterious than it appears. The Old Man Podcast https://youtube.com/live/DNZ8dzI53Fo Transcript (AI transcription) How come they call you the old man? Because look at me. I’m the old man. Oh, my gosh. Mondo Freako. Hey, everybody. Welcome to Mondo Freako. And I’m so glad that we have an elder with us tonight, the old man. I’m so glad to be here with you, Bob. Or should I call you Mondo? Mondo, right. Yeah, exactly. Call me Mondo. Mondo. But it’s better than Freako, I think. Yeah. And it’s fitting because it’s Cinco de Mayo week. Well, there you go. See, look at that. We’re fitting right in. Yeah. We’re fitting right in. You know, real quick, you asked about, you know, me being called the old man. When I was doing the podcast with my son, he calls me up and says, hey, I need a co-host. I can’t keep a co-host. They come and they leave. And I’m without a co-host. Will you co-host with me? For a couple of shows. I go, sure. And he goes, all right. He goes, so I go, but I don’t want you to call me. I want you to call me. He goes, what do you want me to call you? I go, well, I don’t want you to call me dad and I don’t want you to call me Jim. I want you to call me the old man. Call me the old man. And I was golfing at the time and I see my golf buddies call me the fat man. Oh, well, yeah. And I mean, that’s for you. That’s all good too. You know? And so he says, really the old man, you want me to call you the old man? I go, yeah. He goes, all right. So he introduced his show as dread, not dread, not nine to eight with big rich and the old man. And it’s been the old man ever since. Yeah. Well, it’s better than if they called you a ball washer. I’ve been called that too. Uh, and then, and then, uh, um, Within a year, the girl I had as a co-host at the time, she just started calling me Tom. I go, why are you calling me Tom? She goes, the old man, T-O-M, Tom. So then that’s how Tom came about. Gotcha. People were too lazy to say the old man. Well, you got to abbreviate everything. Yeah, everything’s an abbreviation. That’s the nature of living in the United States. Everything has to be abbreviated, right? So we’re not the United States of America or USA, right? Acronyms, man. I tell you, I hate them because I never know what they’re talking about. You’re not versed, you know. Also, it keeps out the riffraff. Oh. I even have a book of acronyms. If someone writes something, I got to look it up and see if it’s in the book. And now the book’s outdated. I don’t have the acronyms. Is it a handwritten book? Is that the idea? No, this is a regular. Oh, it’s a real book. Oh, okay. Oh, hey, he’s prepared. Let’s see. Is that a first edition? Holy schmoly. The great big book of acronyms. Oh, there you go. Texting dictionary of acronyms go figure yeah i mean that looks like a good stocking suffer i mean, it is loaded. It is. Look at that well omg so they can find you at the old man podcast.com. I want to get this out of, you know, get this. plug right in here. So then that way we don’t, we can just go on and move on to the the other stuff. Yeah. That’s our web. That’s uh that’s my web page the old man.com that’s my that’s beyond x or Twitter. You can find yeah whatever you want to call it. And there i am on Facebook. Yeah. Just, uh, and you can listen on all podcast platforms, all, but all, but, um, I’ll bet Spotify. I’m not on Spotify. No, no. Well, let me change that. Hold on a second. I, I, I got mad at Spotify and said, screw you. Ain’t going to use you. Well, there you go. They kept, they kept, they kept kicking all. Yeah. Except Spotify. Yeah. But you can hear me on Spotify because I’m the co-host of Savage Unfiltered with Michael Jordan. Oh, there you go. Okay. Well, now I got to change that again. Change it back. Yeah, Jesus. Except for Spotify Savage Unfiltered. So I’ve got a question for you, old man. So here on Mondo Freako, we talk about weird things. And I always give everybody a quiz. Now, the question is, I always give the guest a choice. Do you want to take the quiz before I tell you what the question is? tell you more about the weird thing, or do you want to wait and hear about the weird thing, and then we’ll take the quiz? Give me the quiz, man. Let’s go. Hey, that’s what I like to hear. Yeah, quiz. Quiz. That’s a sport right there. That is a man after my own heart. Can you see that? I’m going to read it out to you so you don’t have to be able to read it, but… Small for me but it’s well yeah well get the cheaters out. I got them on that’s all right. I’ll read it out to you uh so i’m we’re going to talk tonight i’ll tell you what we’re going to talk about. It’s called the devil’s lake Monster. The Devil’s Lake Monster. Ah, and the quiz is about that. So, I got seven questions, and uh hopefully you know, we’ll see how you do. Yeah, this doesn’t even help. My eyes are that bad. Okay, go ahead. I’m ready. Here we go. Which indigenous people’s oral traditions are the only source of the Devil Lake monster legend? Is it A, the Chinook and Klatsop peoples, B, the Silets and Tillamook peoples, C, the Kowakawak and the Haida peoples, or two guys named Silets and Tillamook who had a bad fishing trip? Hmm. If you want, I have a hint. If you want a hint, I’ll give you one. Okay, go ahead. All right, you want the hint? Yeah. Think about the coastal peoples of the Oregon-Washington region who relied heavily on the sea. No. The catsup people. The A. A? The Chinook and the clatsup people. Let’s see. Oh. Oh. Oh. It was the slits and the Tillamook people was the correct answer. Oh, the Tillamook. That’s where the legend is rooted. Okay. That’s all right. Out of the gate. It’s okay. I know. The Tillamook’s right. It’s good cheese. It is great. All right. Let’s go to number. Let’s leave that behind us. You still got six more to go. You can still win this. You can still get better than 50%. All right. Where exactly is Devil’s Lake? The monster’s supposed home located. Okay. Is it near Lincoln City, Oregon? Near Salem, Oregon? Somewhere very cold, dark, and tentacle adjacent? Or near Portland, Oregon? I got a hint if you want it. Yeah, give me the hint. It’s a coastal Oregon town known for its outlet stores and proximity to the ocean. Lincoln City. Oh, near Lincoln City. I was very confident. There you go. Yeah, baby. There you got that one. I was gonna say that without the end i was gonna say that without oh well there you see you already knew it. But that’s okay. The hint’s there if you want to use it, so. Okay. Now you’re one and one. Here we go. Number three. What is the most distinctive physical description that sets the devil’s lake monster apart from typical lake monsters? Is it A, an oversized freshwater shark with a forked tail? B, a massive mini-armed beast like a giant octopus, sometimes covered in coarse dark hair. C, a very large and very grumpy catfish with a serious personal space issue. Or D, a giant serpent with glowing red eyes. I have a hint if you’d like it. I’m going to go with D. I’m going with D. You’re going with D? D. No one with a hint. Okay. Oh. Oh. That was a good guess, but it is a hairy octopus. Oh, that would have been my second guess. But the red eyes, the red glowing eyes. Oh, you like the red eye, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, that’s all right. Any kind of devil monster is going to have red glowing eyes. Well, you tried the devil aspect of things. You’re right. Here we go. Let’s go to number four. According to early legends, what was the monster’s primary aggressive behavior? Toward people on the lake. Was it a, it would beach itself and block fishing trails on shore. It would steal fish a B it would steal fish from nets left out overnight. See, it would rise from the depths to capsize canoes and drag people under or D it left terrifying one-star reviews of local fishing spots. All right. Let me go with the hint. Let me go with the hint. All right. The creature wasn’t shy and, It came up to meet visitors in a very unwelcoming way. I’ll say tipping canoes over. Tipping canoes over. Let’s see. That would be a C. It would rise from the depths to capsize canoes and drag people under. All right. Look at that. There you go. I made a little bit bigger for you. Hopefully, let’s see if you can see that better. Oh, dang it. No, I still can’t see it. You still can’t see it? Okay. No. Bob, I’m old, remember? I’m the old man. That looks pretty good right there. Yeah, okay. Well, there you go. We’ll go with that. Now, if I can get… There we go. Let’s go to the next. So you got two and two. You’re doing pretty good, actually. 50%. Number five. When did sightings of the Devil’s Lake monster reportedly peak in more modern accounts? Was it A, the mid-20th century, B, B, every Halloween right after the candy runs out. C, the late 19th century. Or D, the early 20th century. Have a hint if you’d like. Yeah, give me the hint. Think of an era following the Victorian age, a time of rapid industrialization and growing public interest in the strange. 19th century. 19th century? Oh! You were very confident there. Oh, man. Modern times peak in the early 20th century. Following the Victorian age. Well, yeah,

    55 min

  3. 6D AGO

    Expired Coupons

    Miles gets stunk out at the office, while Bob speaks ill of yogurt. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/T6BL9iu83Dg Miles gets stunk out at the office, while Bob speaks ill of yogurt. Expired Coupons Bad AI Transcript Won’t you take me too? Welcome to Texas. This is Bob. freestyling and profiling Miles Title, Static Radio. styling and profiling. Is that what you said? Yeah. Okay. Because I’m dope. You’re dope. That’s for sure. Dope. Dopey. Dopey. No, come on, man. Oh, man. You all be tripping, man. My name’s Humpty. Like a dumpty. Yeah. It doesn’t even faze me. It doesn’t even faze me. Please don’t tase me. I’m stepping tall, y’all. I love the digital underground. I know. You introduced me to the digital underground. I know. I’m sorry that guy’s dead, man. I know. It’s horrible. And NWA. And NWA. I don’t know them as well, but yes. No, I mean, you introduced me to them as well. I didn’t know them before. Public Enemy. Public Enemy. Public Enemy. I called 911 a long time ago. 911 a long time ago. All of that stuff. All that good stuff. Yep. Oh, my goodness. That’s fantastic. Yeah, isn’t it? God, we’re so old. Goodness, you know how old Cool Breeze is now? He’s like older than us. Cool Breeze. Cool Breeze. Yep. Or Fred? Yeah. Fred, yeah. Who says… Who says Weekend at Bernie’s is a good movie? Do you remember that? He was so angry. There was a gentleman… There was a gentleman at the college radio station who was in the next office over, and I said I enjoyed Weekend at Bernie’s, and he apparently did not. He went off? Who? Wow. I’ve never saw anyone get that angry over Weekend at Bernie’s before. Yeah. I was like, wow, you set Fred off. Holy shit. I didn’t know that would trigger him, man. I didn’t. Of all the movies I could have said, I would never have guessed that one would have possibly led to violence. I really like that weekend. Who? Who the f**k? Who the f**k? I thought that was hilarious. So, Fred, I’m sorry. Yeah, Fred, I never got a chance to say I’m sorry because I’m glad you really didn’t hurt me. Yeah, Fred was nice. He was a tall guy. He was a big guy. Yeah, he just wasn’t having it, man. Like, weak in it. i just talking about that just reminded me of that situation, so. There was no agree to disagree, man. It was just like oh no it was just disagreeing with you. Yeah, like there’s gonna be some problems. You say that again hey hey hey it’s just a movie, man. you take your damn damn hands i know that’s how i felt like oh f**k this this guy oh my goodness gracious me oh what a fun time yeah one time to be alive you know essentially the i’ve only been punched in the face once, actually. Really? I was surprised about that. I think it should have been at least a half a dozen or You would think that, listening to me? Yeah. I am a jerk. The kind of things you say to people? Yeah. Do you mean like this to anyone? That did not lead to… He’s gone. He dumped on me now. You’re going to have to do something there, Miles. You are not on. We can’t hear you now. Oh, what a night. Late December. There he is. Now he’s back. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened there. I never got hit in the face for saying Cunning Lingus to a nice young lady. No, I didn’t say that. Yeah. I didn’t say it at all. I have people who have witnessed that told me that you said that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, I am surprised you’ve never been hit in the face more often. Just once. I did get sucker punched once, yes. Yeah. I mean, as a young man. As an old man, you know, people just don’t hit old people, so. Like a violent attack. I’ve only been violently attacked once my whole life, so. Mm-hmm. Let me think here. I mean, this was not accidental. This was someone actually that enraged. Yeah, no, they like attacked you, right? Yeah. But I was sucker punched, you know. Whatever. Call it what you will. You got punched in the face. I got punched in the face. So what? I see. I’ve been punched in the face several times. Yeah. I’m sure you’re not surprised by that. I, you know, you look like a guy that could handle himself, though, you know. Although I think at least a couple of them were women. No, not for that reason. I’m not sure where this is going. I had an ex-girlfriend who punched me in the face. Laura? No, Laura didn’t punch me in the face. Why would she punch you in the face? Every once in a while, I see you smile. No, another girlfriend punched me in the face. Why? I wasn’t the most likable person at that moment. Was that the girl that was like holding your stuff when you’re having to pee or something? Yeah. Correct. Although it was a very, we had a very stormy stormy relationship. Yes. Really? You seem like such a nice guy. I can’t believe that that would happen. Yeah. And I’m pretty sure… I mean, it wasn’t a girlfriend. I think another woman punched me in the face. Wow. Okay. I don’t remember exactly. Was it Meg? No, I think I was drinking. Oh. That’s why I try not to drink too much. Yeah, although… That’s not really why, but anyway. Yeah. But yeah, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten hit more in the face. Uh, I got punched to the nuts once. Cause I got a friend told a girl to do it. And so she did it. And she’s like, I can’t hit that small target. No, she was right on. He goes, he goes, why don’t you punch miles in the penis? And literally, literally within a nanosecond, she had done it. Oh, wow. She’s very, uh, compliant there. He was like very susceptible to, Yeah, very, yeah. Like MKUltra or something. MKUltra girl. Punch him in the nuts. Okay, boom. Yeah, it was kind of like that Star Trek movie where that little thing’s in your check-off seat and he has to obey. It was like that. I was like, why don’t you just hit him in the nuts? You ever watch that show Dollhouse that was all about sleepers? She’s like a sleeper agent. They say a word, and they just start tearing shit up. Wasn’t that a Charles Bronson movie, Telephone? That was. I’m talking about Dollhouse. I don’t know where you got Telephone in it. Well, no. Isn’t that like a thing? Like some secret word triggered these people to kill people? Oh, yeah. It’s a similar story. Yeah. Gotcha. It’s the same idea, isn’t it? Yeah. The same thing. Yeah. Yeah. There’s a… There’s a word that triggers you. It’s called work, and then you don’t do any. So, so far, that’s been working out for you. Oh, I have done work in the past. You’re like Maynard G. Krebs from Dobegill. It’s work, work. That’s even before my time, for Christ’s sake. I got praised once on the job at a factory job. Only to find out my brother told me later, he’s like, well, they usually have like the, uh, challenged people do that, what you were doing. And I’m like, oh, thank, well, thank you. I’m, I’m glad to hear that, that I great. Thank you. Yes. So they beat a bunch of challenged people, you know? Well, better that, you know, better beaten them than nobody. I was like the king, you know, like, wow. Huh? I’m the king of wishful thinking. Yeah, pretty much. That was me. I’m like, oh, to heck. I’m trying. Do you have a story? I’m trying to think if I’ve got a story. I do. I had to decide. Let me have it. I don’t know. I said I was going to go with one, but then something happened this morning. I had to change it. Something good happened. All right. Yeah. So I had to. Long story short. Yeah. Get punched in the face by a woman? No, that has never happened as far as I know. Okay. But I had to share a car with my wife this morning. Is this some kind of euphemism or something? No, that was pretty much straight on. We’re going to share a car this morning, honey. Okay. Yeah, it’s a long story. I had to Anyway, I wish we had a bench seat. He’s like, we got to get going. We, I can really not be late. I’ve got some meetings today. Oh God. That’s all she needs to say to you. She does not obviously have the same job as you, but she kind of has to travel from time to time. Like you, not excessively like you, but you know, right. And she had to be at the certain workplace and, you know, before eight o’clock I said, okay, well I go, do you want to drive? Cause you actually drive faster than me. She goes, no, no, no, no, don’t. I thought, okay. And, uh, yeah, don’t let, if you let her drive, it’s like ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. You ever see the movie to live and die in LA? Yeah. It’s like that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Chance. Chance, we’re going the wrong way the freeway. Yeah, that’s like, yeah, this is my wife driving. I feel very nervous like okay yeah i rode with her. Holy shmoly Yeah, I mean, I don’t think my driving, but i know hers is worse than mine so and um right we got it going, and, uh, There’s a, I can see that this semi is going to turn in front of us and then like be in front of us down this road that we are traveling on, which I know is going to delay our trip because, you know, we’re a little bit of a time thing. You know, she’s, she wasn’t, you know, being too crazy, but she’s like, I really have to be there. I cannot really be late. And, uh, so, uh, i hear her phone ring. She’s, you know, attached to her phone like 24 7 right? Right. Oh yeah. I, I, uh, did not know she had her earpiece in. So I hear the phone ringing, excuse me. And then, um, she hadn’t picked up yet. So anyway, at this point i’ve caught, I’ve caught up to the semi. I go, man, you goddamn c********r right in the way. Oh my gosh. It’s all in the c********r. Next thing you know, Oh, hi, uh, Jennifer. She’s shooting me a look because. You said c********r when Jennifer was on the phone? Yeah. I have my. Oh, nice. She’s shooting me a look like, I’m on the phone. I’m on the phone, you stupid ass. I th

    30 min

  4. APR 28

    Mowing Last

    Bob channels James Mason and asks Miles for an apology, while Miles entertains Mr. Miagi, trying to put together a lawnmower. Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/ExBzspEVrg8 Bob channels James Mason and asks Miles for an apology, while Miles entertains Mr. Miagi, trying to put together a lawnmower. Mowing Last Bad AI Transcript Oh, no, no. here tonight, building in for Bob. How is everyone? Gee, fantastic. Are you there? You disconnected me a t**t. He apparently is having some trouble with his technology. Oh, I’m appearing twice again. That is an affront to civilization as we know it. you tonight, Miles? I’ve already introduced you. Oh, I see. Uh, yeah, no good. I don’t really like to come in like this, but that’s all right. Well, I’m not sure what you mean. Late, perhaps? Late? My God, you show up like six minutes late this m**********r is all like you don’t know your f*****g web dude! My God, damn, man, f**k. you Here in the Queens country, we are never late. Christ almighty. Somebody’s got a big chip on their shoulder tonight, don’t they? I hope you’re not like this on that poor guy that talks about corner gas. Jesus Christ. F**k. He’s never late. He’s never late. It’s amazing. Oh, come on. B******t. Never. He’s never late. I was a little late. I had some choring to do. Choring? Is that slang for something? I’m not so… convinced you know, there’s uh do you know who dana gould is? No, I think so. Yes. He’s a comedian. I think so. Yes. And he does. I don’t know how he does this. This is a good question. Maybe you have an idea because you are a shyster and you know how to rip people off. Yep. He does a show called, uh, the famous Dr. Z where he plays Dr. Zaius. He’s actually in Planet of the Apes makeup and the suit of Dr. Zaius. And he pretends… Okay. Hello? Yeah, he pretends that he is Dr. Zaius. Can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear me? No, it said I’ve been disconnected. I’m sorry. Continue. Yeah, okay. You’re back again? I guess. Okay, continue. So he plays Dr. Zaius and does a talk show as if he’s been around since Planet of the Apes movies have been out, and he does impersonation and everything, right? That was my idea. I wonder how he gets away with that. That was my idea. Was it? Yeah. We recorded on the show here? Well, I didn’t say that, but i mean, yeah, it was my idea yeah i just i thought it one day. Okay. Yeah. Well, he does it. And so i’m thinking now i should do i should be i should do james mason and i’ll dress up like james mason and do a whole show like i’m james Mason. Uh, well, you’ve got less hair than you did. Well, he wore a wig, so will I. It’s all good. Wait, what? No. Yes, he wore a wig. Of course he wore a wig. All those people wore wigs. They did? They still do. No, come on. You name a person, and I’ll tell you if they wear a wig or not. Bert Convy. Of course you wore a f*****g wig. Bert Convy? That’s the most stupidest thing. John Wayne, for Christ’s sake. Rip Taylor. A wig. Yes, a wig. Okay. All right. I don’t know. John Connery. Wig. Wig. Rug. Yeah. Yeah. He wore a wig. He wore a wig. Whatever. Oh, jeez. I think that would be… So, I mean, if Dana Gould can get away with Dr. Z, I’m sure I could get away with… Who’s paying attention to David… Or not David Niven. Who’s paying attention to James Mason at this point? David Niven. Same difference. I was going to do David Niven, but I thought it was too highbrow. Yeah, David Niven’s not… I don’t know that I could do his voice, but James Mason, of course I can. Yeah, his is more stylized. That’s right. He talks like this, and he’s… It’s so good to be alive. Yes. So tell me, Miles, who do you blame for your lateness? Is it an Apple thing? You blame your mother. Is it your mother’s fault? Or possibly a young lady? Lolita! I can have a co-host. Lolita could be my co-host. Lolita! There you go. I can tell you’re not even enjoying this idea in the least. No, it’s really gone on like 10 minutes longer, and I really wanted it to, to be honest. That’s because I started it before we started recording. I know, and it’s kind of a swing and a miss at this point. I’m like, okay. Hey, by the way, I’ve been instructed. I have notes here. I’ve been instructed to tell you, and my wife was not very enamored with your choice to let her die. in your because she’s she’s injured currently and she couldn’t get away from the zombies and or sharks. I just had a movie idea we built upon it and uh she’s not happy that that was, you know. You kind of took it to a dark place and uh i just said, okay, well, okay. What? How did i take it to a dark mine was uplifting where everyone lives when you change it around like Maybe you could kill off my wife. I’m like, well, I guess. Yeah, I think that you can play the game. That wasn’t me. Thanks a lot. I watched that s****y shark movie that you were bitching about. Thanks a lot, jackass. I told you not to watch it. Because then my wife’s like, oh, let’s watch it. Bob watched it, so it must be highbrow class. Yeah. Oh, my God. What a horrible f*****g movie. I told you. It’s horrible. I told you. Why would that Academy Award winning guy be in a thrash or whatever it’s called? Cash. Yeah. You know you’d f*****g do it in a heartbeat. You’d be like, yeah. A million? Two million? Sure. I’ll do it. Yeah. Sure. I’ll show you my ass. Yeah. Why not? A million. I can live with myself. Yeah. What do you mean? You live with yourself now. Yeah, right. I’d do a Dirk Diggler if his money paid right. Yeah. I was going to say. It’d be kind of… A little dangle. A little… Yeah, thanks a lot. Watch it. Maybe a little… Yeah. More like Billy Birdie, you know? Yeah. So, yeah. So, anyway, she told me to make mention of that. Sorry, Mrs. Lumet. Sorry. They all can’t be winners. Mason in person. I was going to try to do that the whole time, but I don’t think I can, so… Please, yeah, at this point, stop. Oh, Miles. I really, everyone is tuned out at this point, believe me. They tuned out before they started. Even CB is like putting a rope around his neck right now. He’s like, I can’t, I can’t. Listen to this for five more minutes. I’m a diehard, I can’t do this. Yeah, I mean, the guy’s listened since like 1972 when we started this. I can’t, I can’t. My life is over. He’d be doing like auto erotic, erotic. Yeah. Goodness gracious. Yeah. So yeah. Anyway, I was just, Oh, got me. Oh, Crazy world, man. Crazy world. So the other morning I was driving early in the morning. And I think, what are the odds of this? I drive in early in the morning and there’s this truck in the ditch. But it’s not in the ditch like, you know, just nose first in the ditch. It’s like driven apparently at a high rate of speed to where the wheels are hanging in the ditch, all four wheels. Because it’s like somehow they’ve driven… in this ditch that was like different widths, I guess you’d say, or like narrower and it got wider where it was being held up on the sides of the fenders and stuff. And the wheels were just hanging down the ditch. Oh, it wasn’t me either. It wasn’t me. The hitcher. I don’t know. I was just like, I, it was at a corner. So I assume they were drunk and lost control and then just drove right into this ditch and kind of got, Did you go to Decatur High School like I did, buddy? He goes, pardon, pardon. Oh, there we go. Oh, Christ. Why? Why, God? My pickup truck is stuck in the ditch. Oh, my God. Why, God? Why? Anyway, I just thought that was probably the most interesting thing I saw all week was like, wow, that’s weird. And then that night, I’m grilling my dinner. And this guy walks up and says he needs a tow. No, and there’s that truck. truck is on the back of a flatbed, and they pull into my, you know uh gated community turn around, apparently. And it’s the same truck. They come pick it up, and it’s like on a on a they pulled it up onto a flatbed. Holy shit, I’m in the movie Duel. Holy shit. I was like, what the heck i’m like, what the hell? What are they doing down here? I don’t know. That’s the most, that’s, I’m sorry. That’s the most interesting thing that happened to me this week. You don’t want to hear about this. That or the fact that I’ve talked about going swimming. I go swimming. Now, every time I go swimming, all the old ladies ask how my wife is doing. Well, she’s in a coma and she may not pull out. No, they know she hurt her foot. Did you murder her? No. And so this week I had to go and I go, yeah, her foot’s still hurt. And my friend made up a movie where zombies come and kill her because she can’t get away. I just thought it’d be funny. She’s got one of those little knee scooter things. I just thought it’d be funny. The scooter is not good for rough terrain and she just gets bogged down. You’ve got to go downstairs with it. Yeah. Much like RFK, I left her in the dust. See ya! See ya! Cheryl! Cheryl! Can you believe it? No, I do. Every second time or something, they’re all like, how’s your wife doing? I’m like, she’s fine. She’s fine. She’s fine. yeah oh yeah it’s all yeah i’m just like i don’t think that the i don’t think that, you know, that situation were reversed. Yeah. That this would be happening oh uh were you married? Yeah. No, there would be nothing to be like, thank god you got rid of that lump. Where’s that ugly woman with the glasses that comes with you all the time? That swims topless all the time. That swims topless, that’s right. No, it’s my husband, Sparky. With the areola sticking out. Yeah, I don’t think that… Is that a friend of Peter Ustinov that comes here every once in a while? Yeah. I don’t think that these two things would be the same. I think there’d be a lot of, you know, oh, re

    33 min
  5. Radio Wars - Artemis 2

    APR 25

    Radio Wars - Artemis 2

    Bob LeMent and the “one-armed madman” engage in a freewheeling discussion about the pervasiveness of artificial intelligence, government power dynamics, and the blurring of the line between reality and staged events. They touch upon a variety of conspiracy-tinged topics—including the skepticism surrounding mainstream narratives like the pandemic, the Southern Poverty Law Center, and official government explanations—while debating the feasibility of advanced technologies like humanoid robots and potential secret underground infrastructure. Too Hard for the Radio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XttmkVr52hI

    1h 13m

  6. APR 23

    Mondo Freako - Travis Walton

    Travis Walton Story This episode of Mondo Freako features a lively discussion between the host and guest Jeff Revilla, the founder of the Poduty theater and network in Tarentum, Pennsylvania. The conversation blends local cultural anecdotes, such as the unique Primanti Brothers sandwiches of Pittsburgh and UFO lore like the Kecksburg “acorn,” with a promotion of Jeff’s versatile physical and virtual production space. Jeff explains that his turnkey theater is designed for podcasters and content creators to produce shows with live or virtual audiences easily. The second half of the program pivots to a deep dive into the 1975 Travis Walton UFO abduction case. After Jeff wins a trivia quiz about the incident, the two explore the enduring mystery, discussing the initial suspicion that Walton’s coworkers had murdered him, their commitment to their story through polygraph tests, and the skeptical view that it was an elaborate hoax to escape logging contract penalties. They conclude by reflecting on the cultural impact of the story and the allure of maintaining such a wild, lifelong narrative, regardless of whether it is true. Poduty.com https://youtube.com/live/fNi_FsZuRO8 Transcript (AI transcription) So, Jeff, did you Poduty today? I did it twice, actually. Good for you. Welcome everybody to Mondo Freako. I’m glad you could do it. Yeah, you got to keep it going. We’re going to talk today to Jeff Revilla, or I like to say Jeff Revilla. The San Francisco treat. From Fiduti, and he is going to be our guest, and he’d like to know what we’re going to I’m not going to believe it, but I’m ready to hear it. Okay. We’re going to talk about the Travis Walton abduction case. Interesting. Are you a fan of UFOs or UAPs or any of that business or any of the U’s? I do. I’m a big fan of all the U’s. Western PA has some great history. We have a place called Kecksburg, which is a UFO. I have been there. Yeah, so you know, Western PA, we got Bigfoot and UFOs. Yes, the wood booger. Yeah. I have been to Kecksburg, and behind the volunteer fire department is the ship that supposedly crashed in the woods. They have it. The acorn, right? The acorn, that’s right. I pulled in there and took pictures of the acorn at one point in time, yeah. I love Kecksburg. I wish you’d have done Kecksburg. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh, what do you know? What do you know? You would have thought that maybe I would, I would be on to you and I would have studied that. And that’s what I’m, I’m waiting for the show to be about. Well, Travis Walton was from, uh, uh, I think it’s Scottsdale, Arizona. So other end of the world, really. I know nothing about Scottsdale compared to the Kecksburg. So, uh, typically, well, first of all, let’s get the, let’s get the, the, uh, plugs in here because we have to, and I, uh, and i wish that i would have had this ready, but I, I just realized i don’t well you’re contractually obligated. Yeah. I want to, I want to talk about paduti.com right so this is a jeff’s got a program or it’s more than a program. It’s a whole network. Well, it’s a theater space, a physical space. Oh, right. That’s right. It’s a, it’s, it’s, Brick and mortar and virtual. Yeah, we do it all. We’re a one-stop shop. You could actually take an Uber, come out into the theater, do your show, call your Uber while you’re still on stage, get out of there, and I’ll sell you the money that I owe you for doing the performance. So it’s an easy turnkey way to produce a podcast, and you can do a live audience or a virtual audience. Or both. Do them all. Yeah, do them all. That’s our tagline. Do them all. Do them all. Okay. Well, that’s an interesting tagline. I will say that. And I believe it’s at Padooty on most of the socials, I’m guessing. Yeah, or if I screwed it up, it could be Padooty Live or Padooty Pods. But mostly, if you do, I’m the only Padooty in the world. Oh, there you go. And so what would, like if somebody wanted to do it. So you are in Tarritum. Correct. Which is not too far from Pittsburgh. Get ready to do your drafts. I think the NFL draft is here, and they’ve taken over the entire city. Really? Yeah. Is that because of that show, The Pit? Yeah. That’s right. It’s got McConaughey and Noah Wiley. They’re drafting football players. Are they really? Oh, wow. That’s interesting. So if somebody wanted to utilize the space or… I know you do a show called Padooty in the News, which I was on. How would they get a hold of you? Yeah, Padooty.com, P-O-D-U-T-Y.com. It’s a lot of fun, handshake deals. You either like working with me or you don’t. And if you don’t, we don’t do it again. But if you do, we’ll do some more gigs together. That’s funny. You don’t like it, you don’t. You go in between. Yeah, you’re going to like it. is there a Pittsburgh accent? Would you, do you have a Pittsburgh type type accent I don’t know if I do I people say I do like, I, if you can’t hear it, then I don’t know if it is, but like, you know, you go downtown there and that like, it sounds weird when I try to do it you go downtown there and that yeah it’s because I would think that, so like I live in St. Louis and so there’s two, major cities in Missouri, St. Louis and Kansas City. And we sound exactly the same. But over there, you have Philadelphia and Pittsburgh are two major cities, right? And they’re on either end of the state, kind of like here. But you guys have different accents, don’t you? Yeah, different accents, different sandwiches. It’s a big cultural divide. Oh, yeah. I’ve been to Philadelphia. I had a Philly cheesesteak at Pat’s. You were a Pat’s guy, not a Geno’s guy. Well, no, I had both, but I can remember Pat’s. Yeah. Geno’s, underwhelming. Because they’re across the corner from each other. We went and we had both, but I think my son, who was very much into this, he likes Pat’s, and so Pat’s was the winner. Um, but I think we had both and I know we had both, but, uh, yeah. So what’s the equivalent out in Pittsburgh? I mean, like you eat a bar of steel. What’s the deal. We grew up on just iron shovels of iron. You probably see it. If you ever watched Monday night football or any kind of sports show, they always show this one sandwich from Pittsburgh. It’s called a Permanente sandwich. It’s the one that has the meats, the cheese, the, The coleslaw, the French fries, the tomatoes, and two thick slices of like one-inch Italian bread. It’s called a Primanti sandwich. It’s about five inches tall, and it weighs probably five pounds as well. It’s a perfect cube. How do you spell that? P-R-I-M-A-N-T-I-S. Primanti Bros. Ah. Manti Bros. Okay. I’ve heard this, but I don’t remember. Let’s see if… The next time you’re in Kecksburg, I’ll buy you a Permanis. Well, here, I’m going to… Let me see if I can get this over here. Technology. And let’s see if I can throw it up on the screen here. You see? Throw it up. There we go. Does that look like it? That’s a Permanis sandwich. That’s it. Oh, look at that. Romantic sandwich. That’s a lot. When you said French fries, I couldn’t remember until you said French fries. Yeah, the French fries. And the coleslaw isn’t like some coleslaws are like a creamy dressing. This is like a really fine angel hair shredded cabbage tossed with like an oil or more like with a vinegar, a little bit of salt, pepper, and sugar. Apparently, J.D. Vance got sick on one of these. That’s why he keeps showing up in my pictures. I don’t know what the hell that’s for. I think they got sick of him and they threw him out. Yeah, maybe. He looks a little oozy in that one picture. They wouldn’t serve him, I’m pretty sure. They declined service. They declined. So, well, that’s good. I’m glad to know because I was in Kecksburg area. We actually were on the edge of Pittsburgh. We did not go into Pittsburgh proper when I was visiting. Oddly enough, I went there specifically to go to Kecksburg. Not a lot of places stay in Kecksburg. Okay. Once you got the photo, you were pretty much done with the town. Pretty much, yeah. I don’t think it was a place to get lunch, as I recall. That’s it. They didn’t have a sandwich for me. I guess I could have hit up the fire department, but they weren’t having the fish fry or anything. Yeah, chili cook-off. Yeah, chili or anything. It was just like, oh, we’re here. And then we ended up having to go into the edge of – outskirts, I guess, the suburbs of Pittsburgh to stay and so forth. Yeah. Well, um, Oh, there’s some Padootie up there. That’s good. Anything else you want to promote before we move on to the next part? No, I, you know, I’m afraid to promote anything else. I don’t know how much I want to be attached to, depending on what I say in the next half hour, but, uh, just remember Padootie.com and we’ll catch up later. Yeah, there you go. Well, thanks. Everybody should go check it out. It’s fantastic. And, and if you’re happened to be in the Pittsburgh, uh, in the Terratum area, you should go to the theater. Check it out. We do monthly meetups to meet other podcasters, other content creators. We do a magic show or a comedy show or maybe just hang out. I don’t know. We talked briefly earlier. A lot of times what I do is I will tell you the story of the Travis Walton abduction, but I also do a quiz, and I give the guest a choice. Do they want to try to do the quiz first or hear the story first? Because some people are really into these things, and they already know, or they just want to see how they do. What say you, Jeff? Well, my instinct is you’ve been a guest on another show I produce as a trivia show, so I’m a trivia host, which means I know everything, so I should be able to do this quiz beforehand and ace it. That’s my prediction. I know everything. Okay. I know it all. Well, th

    37 min
  7. Bad Movies

    APR 22

    Bad Movies

    Bob blames Miles for the terrible movies being made for the streaming services, while Miles pitches a film idea where Bob gets killed by zombies and maybe sharks. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post THE LEMENT DELUGE A 90-Minute Action Spectacular CHARACTERS BOB LEMENT (50s): A former combat engineer turned survivalist. SARAH (30s): A local hydrologist trapped at the estate. THE HORDE: A swarm of reanimated corpses. THE PACK: A school of 200+ aggressive bull sharks. ACT I: THE BREACH (0:00 – 30:00) EXT. LEMENT ESTATE – NIGHT The Lement Estate is a fortress of iron and concrete nestled against a massive, government-built flood wall. Rain lashes down. Bob Lement patrols the perimeter. He spots the “Shamblers”—the undead—emerging from the treeline. He engages with a suppressed rifle, thinning the numbers. INT. LEMENT ESTATE – CONTINUOUS Sarah, hiding in the basement monitoring station, screams as a tremor hits. The pressure gauges hit red. SARAH Bob! The wall! The integrity is failing! EXT. FLOOD WALL – MOMENTS LATER Bob races toward the wall as it buckles. The concrete shrieks. With a sound like a thunderclap, the wall shears open. A massive, high-velocity surge of river water pours through, sweeping the incoming zombies away instantly. But as the water clears, the real terror emerges. Dark, muscular shapes launch themselves through the breach. Bulls. Dozens of them, surfing the floodwater toward the house. ACT II: THE FEEDING FRENZY (30:00 – 75:00) EXT. THE SUBMERGED YARD – CONTINUOUS The house is now an island in a raging, man-made river. The zombies that survived the impact are trying to wade toward the porch. A Bull Shark breaches the surface, its massive jaws snapping a zombie in half at the waist. The water turns into a chaotic churn of grey flesh and rotting limbs. INT. SECOND FLOOR – CONTINUOUS Bob and Sarah watch from the balcony. BOB They’re not just eating the dead, Sarah. They’re patrolling. SARAH They’re trapped in the estate grounds because of the sediment berms! They’re hungry and they’re confined! ACTION SEQUENCE: Bob and Sarah must move from the house to the reinforced workshop (a detached structure) to activate the emergency pumps. To get there, they have to navigate a catwalk above the water. Sharks jump, snapping at their boots. Zombies grab at the catwalk supports. Bob uses a high-powered spear gun—designed for shark defense—to pin sharks to the mud while Sarah uses a flare gun to ignite floating debris, creating a “fire moat” to deter the predators. ACT III: THE FINAL FLOOD (75:00 – 90:00) EXT. THE WORKSHOP – NIGHT They reach the workshop, soaked and exhausted. The water is rising. BOB If I open the secondary sluice gates, we can draw the water and the predators out into the low-lying basin. But I need someone to manually crank the intake valve inside the tunnel. SARAH That’s underwater, Bob! BOB (A grim smile) I’m a combat engineer. I’ll make it breathe. Bob dons a makeshift rebreather. He dives into the churning, shark-infested hell. Underwater, the scene is visceral: a strobe-light effect of lightning illuminating sharks circling, teeth flashing. Bob reaches the valve. A massive Bull Shark, scarred and blind in one eye, charges. Bob uses his diving knife, driving it into the shark’s gill slit. He turns the valve. THE CLIMAX The suction is immense. The water—and the sharks—are dragged violently through the drainage tunnels. The zombies are swept away in the wake. The water recedes, leaving the estate a graveyard of shark teeth and shredded remains. EXT. LEMENT ESTATE – DAWN Bob crawls back onto the porch. Sarah pulls him up. They look out at the landscape, now quiet. BOB Think that’s the end of it? SARAH (Looking at the dark water) Nature has a long memory, Bob. FADE TO BLACK. https://youtube.com/live/gAB0ndR8_8Q Bob blames Miles for the terrible movies being made for the streaming services, while Miles pitches a film idea where Bob gets killed by zombies and maybe sharks. Bad Movies Bad AI Transcript Don’t what? Don’t tongue touch it. Hey everyone, this is Miles with Static Radio. I think each week you get more and more awkward. You mean in real life or on the show or? Well, yeah, all the way around. All together. Hello, everyone. This is Miles. Hi. Hi. Yes. I’m a noon teen. Yes, I’m Miles. I have candy in my pocket. Yes. Just in case anybody needs a butterscotch disc, I got you covered. Or a hat with three corners. What are you, like a reenactor or something? I’m reenacting. I like this show. You’re on one tonight. Last night, we’re off our usual schedule. Last night, Miles sends me a text early, which I don’t check my text at night. Can you show up and feel a good guy headache? Yeah, I had a headache. Oddly enough, it was only words, text, but I could hear the voice. Can you do a good headache move? Yeah. So we’re off our schedule, but that’s fine. The response was weird, though. It was like, that’s okay, honey. We can do it later. Yeah, I kissed you on the forehead. I know. I’m like, this is getting weird. I’m like, you know what? I’m never going to text him again. This is so uncomfortably weird. I’m like, no, I don’t. I kissed you on the forehead, took your temperature. And not by mouth either. No, I just kissed you on the forehead. Yeah, okay. I’m uncomfortable. It’s okay. It’s okay. I said, Miles, it’s all right. It’s all right. You could be ill with a migraine. My doctor is Christopher Walken, I guess. That’s right. That would be awkward. I have the cure. Do you have one? You take that watch. It’s called gold infusion. Oh. It’s like a suppository. Anyway. Yeah. I’m feeling good. I’m okay. I’ll be all right. You know, I don’t feel good. I just, I don’t know. I got really bad bong bong in my head. It goes bong bong, you know what I mean? I just didn’t have a story. I was like, f**k it. I don’t have no story. Yeah, that’s why I’m going to call in sick. I’m calling in. It’s just like real life. I’m calling in sick. I’m calling in sick. So here we are. I did the best I could, for Christ’s sakes. There we are. Here we are. So I blame you. Yeah. At this point, even though it really wasn’t your fault because this happened before you canceled. Yeah. Well, it happens after you canceled, but before I knew you canceled. Right. So on Sunday night… Yeah. Now, my wife is going to be so mad when she hears me talking about this, but… There’s this new Netflix show, which is like the number two Netflix movie or something called Thrash. Have you seen this? It’s about sharks or something. Yes. It has Academy Award winner Damone… whatever his last name is. I can’t even say it. Uh, he was an Amistad. He’s been in lots of things, right? Very well trained, very good actor in this movie called thrash. Right. In which in North Carolina, I believe it is a, uh, hurricane hits ground and, but, breaks all the levees and bull sharks invade the small town on the coast and start eating people. Okay. Cause they didn’t flee when they were instructed to. And so now they’re stuck, you know, trying to survive the flood. Yeah. And we follow three, we have like three, four main stories, I guess. Right. Yeah. One of them is an abusive foster parent or parents. Yeah. One is the Demones. He’s a shark. By the way, he is a shark researcher. Conveniently. Conveniently, yes. Well, he does have an air about him, so I would buy that. He’s a very believable shark researcher. Okay. He is an Oscar winner, for Christ’s sake. Yeah. And his niece is stuck. She did not leave. And so he’s on his way to see her. And then we have this pregnant woman who works at a meatpacking plant. Yeah. This is important. Okay. Who has been abandoned by her loser boyfriend. And she’s stuck. He used to work at the meatpacking plant as well. I bet. And so now she’s stuck in this little town being the receptionist or something at the meatpacking plant. She’s like fully pregnant. Yeah. Now, the reason the meatpacking plant plays into it is because a tanker full of blood is conveniently gets tipped over and all this blood’s in the water. Yeah. Now, most people, I’m assuming, have never worked at a meatpacking plant. And I know you have. That’s right. I have never seen a tanker A tanker, a tanker truck full of blood. Do you know how much f*****g blood that is? Oh, my God. That’s a lot of f*****g blood, dude. I have never, ever. No, there was no blood truck. I would have remembered that. Blood truck. Blood truck, sir. Wait, did he say food? Did he say food truck or blood truck? Because I’m hungry. A tanker. A tanker. In the defense of Damone, who again is an Oscar winner, he did a really good job. And I must say that the effects in this movie were quite good. Now, is this a movie or a series? It’s just a movie on Netflix. I’m assuming that Netflix… has shifted solely to the algorithm. And they’re like, what do people, they type it in, you know, what do people want to see? Sharks eating Hicks. Oh, why not? Yeah. Why not? Oh my God. You know, everything was telegraphed. Um, I mean, the effects are good, but, Yeah, it just… Wasn’t there something like this a few years ago, kind of the same idea, kind of, but it was like alligators or something? Yeah, it could have been, yeah. Maybe they just recycled that script. I don’t know. I mean, yeah, okay. So I watched that on Sunday. I’m getting to the part where I blame you. I watched that on Sunday because my wife was like, she loves shark movies, and I go, I looked at it, I read the description, I go, this does not very good. But it does have an oscar winner in it. And so we watched it, and it was mildly entertaining, but obviously very flawed uh this lady gives birth to a baby, and then she’s surrounded in her own blood oh grea

    31 min

  8. APR 14

    Bottle Service

    Miles helps Desiree with a personal issue, while Bob changes his ordering procedure. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/r95ZbxHYsQs Miles helps Desiree with a personal issue, while Bob changes his ordering procedure. Bottle Service Bad AI Transcript Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? And if you did, oh, she crying, crying, hey. I’m lying here with Linda on my mind. Hey everyone, this is Miles. Is that Conway Twitty? Yes, Conway Twitty, yeah. Are you a Twitty, what do they call those, Twitty T*****s? What do they call those women that like Conway Twitty? I didn’t know it existed, but I guess. Back in the day. I see. something like that. They had some kind of, you know, funny name for them. Uh, not where i came from, but okay. Yeah. Really? I was really, you know, those women with the like bleach blonde, tall hair, you know, where they had keep going out went out and bought like the leaning tower, a piece of hair for their head. Oh yeah. Yeah. That big beehive kind of b******t you know yeah well we’re going way back here, folks. Way back. Way back. Classic. I’ve got to tell you. Welcome, everybody, to the show. We’re glad you’re here. Thanks for listening. Really appreciate it. taking donations for the miles title ER fund. gone so much lately that, you know, he really needs to put in for a, you know. I need some adderall people, so come on, man. If everybody would just, here’s my po box, mail me all your leftover drugs. Yeah, anything. Yeah. That would be like if you remember the soupy sales thing where he said to take Oh, yeah. Yeah, that would be you. You’d be like, I’ll take any. Leftover prescriptions. Yeah. Don’t even have to label them. And breast milk. Yeah. That’d be weird. Yeah. That was a weird thing to say. Yeah. Yeah. Fresh or frozen. I actually saw that on a, like one of those community boards there on something like some days I, I got plenty. So if anyone’s interested. And look, that’s a weird question. Now, would you give your, well, I know you would take it yourself, but would you give your child someone else’s breast milk? I don’t know how that works. Is that right? I mean, I don’t know. I mean, you give other people milk and that doesn’t seem right. Well, I know. I mean, what if the woman’s a tweaker or something? You know, I don’t know. People call me the space cowboy. Got breast milk on Craigslist. You see some weird stuff sometimes. I don’t know. Some people call me. Miles title. I’m down with the breast milk of love. I like a sippy cup full of bee juice. Oh, I hope my family’s not listening. Please. God. Yeah. If my nephew’s listening, this is all scripted. So if you’re listening, I’d be forced to read this. He’s got blackmail material on me that I cannot shake all the way from my college days. Yeah, basically. So I’ve been forced to do this all these years because of it. I could not tell my story without… Don’t blame your old Uncle Miles. It’s not his fault. I’m trying to think of… I traveled and you think I would have funny things to talk about. Do you like to go out and eat? I did. Well, this is kind of funny because… Not because it was inherently funny, but I got an out to eat story for you. And you love to judge people. So go ahead. Continue. How’s that breast milk tasting right now? So I was working out of town and I needed to get some food. I did not eat lunch. I skipped lunch because I didn’t. I don’t know. They had this kind of bagel sandwich thing going on. And I was thirsty for a teat. And then they’ll have this stuff all over. I cannot stand my food smeared with other juicy condiments. Like breast milk? Or whatever. Yeah. If you put a little cornstarch in it, you can thicken it up. Make it into a nice spread. Put a little strawberry into it. It’ll taste great. It’s like quick. I’m like, okay, I’m skipping lunch because they threw all the sandwiches in a big kiddie pool full of mayonnaise or something. I’m like, I cannot. No, I’m not going to have that. It’s not the salad I ordered. And they’re like, Bob, do you want some lunch? I’m like, no, no. You know, there’s always in the movie or whatever where somebody’s not going to touch whatever it is, like shaking their head. No, no, that was me. But Marie, I am awful thirsty. Yeah, and so I skipped lunch. So I was really hungry, but then I had to do an evening thing. So I’ve wanted, I know you’re going to, Was that like Buffalo Bill’s dance in the Silence of the Lambs? Was that your evening thing where you talk a little and start dancing? That’s right. What size are you? I picture that’s your evening thing. Would you eat mayonnaise? I’d eat a mayonnaise so hard. I’m not eating the mayonnaise. It puts the mayonnaise on the bagel. It’s the lotion in the bagel. I only had an hour to go get something to eat and get back. The problem was this venue was nowhere near anything. I wanted to have a nice salad and a steak. So I drove, they’re both healthy. So, yeah, exactly. So I was, uh, I was sitting there not paying attention, which I should have been and looking up and I’m like, oh my gosh, I could eat a steak and get a salad and a steak here at the hotel. And it’s going to cost me like $60. I know it was a fancy place and I’m like, but there’s an outback about 15 minutes away. Yeah. So I hightail it to the Outback during my time. Mm-hmm. You know, I’m driving. You know, you hear like Dukes of Hazzard music in the back. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Because I’m down at Lake of the Ozarks, which is already Dukes of Hazzard country. You get to the DV car. Come on. Yeah. So I go screaming into the Outback, and I get seated. And this nice lady comes over is going to be my waitress. And she’s like, well, you want to drink? And so I told her and, um, and then she comes back and she took a little long with the drink. You know what I mean? Sorry. I was almost on the clock here. I got to get out of here. Right. It was a big cup full of breast milk. It took me a little while. I’m sorry. Yeah. I actually had Coke Zero, which is my new drink of choice. Yeah, go ahead. Because, you know, I love Coca-Cola. But anyway, so she comes back with my Coke, and she’s like, you ready to order? And I’m like, yes. And I go, don’t delay anything. I go, I want it all as quickly as possible. You want an a*****e. Jesus. I wasn’t being mean. And she’s She’s like looking at me like, she’s like, you know the salad will come out first, right? Maybe it will. Maybe it won’t. I go, yes. I go, but don’t delay anything. Just put it all in. I don’t care when it comes out. I got to eat and get out of here. And she’s like all confused. Mm-hmm. She’s like, oh, okay. Mm-hmm. Anyway, she brings me my salad and my bread, which, by the way, they have the best bread. I don’t know what the hell it’s made out of. You know what the secret ingredient is, don’t you? What is it? Brass milk. Yeah, I figured you were going to say that. But anyway, I really confused the hell out of her. And then she did bring me my food fairly quickly. Here you go there, Russian boy. Here you are. And it was actually really quite good. My wife asked me, she’s like, did you send a picture to Miles of your steak? No, I did not. So I think that joke is worn thin now. Yeah. Yeah. But she really was put off by the fact that I wanted to have my food quickly. It’s weird. Bob will send these pictures like, hey, this is from Tiger Tigers. So, you know, I’m like, well, come on, get the f**k out of here with that. So, yeah, but I thought I was being nice, right? I was like, I’m going to try to do this more. I’ll be honest with you. Even though you think I’m an a*****e. Oh, I know you’re an a*****e, and I don’t think it. I know it. I know it. I’ve been too polite for too long, and I just need to put it out there the way I want things now into the world. As he makes fun of an old man a week ago on the show, by the way, yeah. Who was the old man? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys are out of the restaurant. All these crippled people keep coming. You’re making fun of some old man who probably fought in World War II. He could take you on any day of the week. I wasn’t making fun of him. I’m just saying he’s in better shape than you are. Probably. I’m like, yeah, I think this is the new approach. I’m like, no, I want this. The next night, I went to one of my favorite pizza places down Lake of the Ozarks called Pappos or Pappos. I don’t know how they say it. And I’m by myself. I go sit at the bar. The waitress comes up. What do you want? Coke Zero. And I got a pizza. And I’m like, I don’t even look at it in the menu. Give me this. And Coke Zero. Boom. She was happy. They both got 20%. Welcome to Areoles. So, you know, I’m just saying. Wow, it looks pretty hot looking. What’s that? Was she hot looking? No, they were just waitresses. I don’t know. Well, it sounds like you got something going on with those ladies at the bar. I don’t know. No, no, no. I’m just saying I’ve taken this approach where I’m not going to the conventional method where you get your drink. I know what I want. I know what I want every time I go in someplace. I never go anywhere where I don’t know what I want. I look at all the menus online and then I go there. Sometimes I do look at the menus online. But get in there. Get what I want. Get it ordered. Eat it. It’s fantastically delicious. Ate at the bar watching the Masters Tournament on the television. Yeah. And got out of there. The funny thing on that one was when I came in the door, they They have a weird setup. You come into the back of the restaurant at Papo’s. Because the parking lot’s back there. Because down at Lake of the Ozarks

    28 min
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4.6
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

Information

  • Creator
    Bob LeMent
  • Years Active
    2012 - 2026
  • Episodes
    195
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    Copyright © Static Radio 2025
  • Show Website
    Static Radio