What happens when a leader's ego is running the show without them even realizing it? In this episode of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast, I'm joined by my longtime friend, leadership expert, and author Ewa Błaszczak to talk about her new book, The Leader and the Ego: The Path to Conscious Leadership. Ewa argues that we don't need to get rid of our egos. We need to become conscious of them, understand what they're trying to protect, and notice when they're making decisions for us. We talk about the connection between leadership ego and employee burnout, why self-awareness becomes increasingly important as leaders gain power, and how unconscious patterns can show up as competition, scarcity, control, rescuing, victimhood, and plenty of unnecessary workplace drama. And yes, Ewa gives us a remarkably simple place to start: notice your thoughts and ask who's listening. In other words, metacognition. The practice is simple. Doing it consistently is another story. In this episode, we cover: What ego actually means and why Ewa doesn't believe we should try to eliminate itHow unconscious ego can affect leadership, team performance, and burnoutWhy thinking you're self-aware and actually being self-aware aren't necessarily the same thingInternal vs. external self-awarenessHow fear, scarcity, competition, comparison, and control can quietly drive leadership behaviorWhy managing your own ego is part of the responsibility of leadershipHow gaining power can make honest feedback harder to getWhy leaders sometimes create problems by constantly stepping in to solve themHow hyper-independence and other patterns can shape what irritates us about other peopleHow to recognize when your own ego has entered the conversationWhy Ewa's ultimate goal for workplaces is surprisingly simple: less drama One of my favorite ideas from this conversation is that self-awareness isn't about identifying everything that's wrong with you. It's about becoming aware enough of what's happening internally that you have more choices about what happens next. As Ewa explains, we aren't trying to destroy the ego. We're trying to notice when it's driving. Because an unconscious ego can spend an enormous amount of energy thinking, protecting, analyzing, preparing, fighting, accumulating, planning, and comparing. For leaders, that internal work doesn't stay internal. Your behavior affects the people around you. And when no one feels safe enough to tell you that you have metaphorical spinach in your teeth, an outside perspective can become especially valuable. The goal isn't an ego-free leader. It's a leader who can notice their ego, get curious about what it's doing, and make a more intentional choice. Quotes "Make the unconscious conscious, because otherwise your ego will literally kill you, your productivity, your teams, and it will make you waste your life." (5:48 | Ewa Błaszczak) "It turns out only 10% of us are conscious. It does not mean we have it all figured out, but we know what is going on." (7:58 | Ewa Błaszczak) "If you want to get rid of your ego, it means you want to die. You do not want to die. You want to get to know it, like a scared inner child." (11:00 | Ewa Błaszczak) "Ninety five percent of the things that ego is afraid of will never happen. So we lose our lives like that." (14:39 | Ewa Błaszczak) "I asked my husband, why am I even writing this book? He said, because unhealthy ego hurts people." (24:16 | Ewa Błaszczak) "The higher you get in the corporate ladder, the less the leaders are conscious, and the more the ego is playing the power game." (31:40 | Ewa Błaszczak) "Nobody is going to tell the leader they have spinach in their teeth. But somebody has to." (33:12 | Cait Donovan) Also mentioned in this episode Owen Fitzpatrick and his book Inner Propaganda, on belief leadership and the stories we tell ourselves. Belief Leadership Starts with Knowing Inner Propaganda with Owen Fitzpatrick (FRIED #357): https://redcircle.com/shows/e4c0db0a-98a4-47e6-a2b0-6a291469e1d6/episodes/c0af2f66-c0b1-4ca7-91df-33dc20627f75Tasha Eurich, organizational psychologist, on internal versus external self-awarenessCarl Jung, on the shadowStephen Karpman, on the drama triangle (victim, persecutor, rescuer)Kristen Holmes, head researcher at WHOOP, on sleep and psychological safetyRobin Hatcher, former soap opera writer turned communications expert ("I used to write the drama in, now I write the drama out")L. David Marquet, author of Turn the Ship Around!, who wrote the book's foreword Related FRIED episodes to binge next: The Leadership Skill Nobody Taught You (That Predicts Everything) (FRIED, Apr 2026): https://redcircle.com/shows/e4c0db0a-98a4-47e6-a2b0-6a291469e1d6/episodes/73db4267-603c-4161-8164-e315f30b26efWe're Expecting the Wrong Things From Leaders And It's Causing Leadership Burnout, a #straightfromcait episode (FRIED, May 2026): https://redcircle.com/shows/e4c0db0a-98a4-47e6-a2b0-6a291469e1d6/episodes/09a4ac57-ae4f-4a74-be47-d00a4a14e930Mita Mallick: Could Your Boss Be the Real Reason You're Burnt Out? (FRIED, Sep 2025): https://redcircle.com/shows/e4c0db0a-98a4-47e6-a2b0-6a291469e1d6/episodes/b988ee19-3b8c-43c7-98a3-3b22646c5b10 About Ewa Błaszczak Ewa Błaszczak (https://www.ewablaszczak.com/en) is a leadership expert and author of The Leader and the Ego: The Path to Conscious Leadership. With more than 25 years of experience, she works with leaders and teams around the world to drive performance, lead transformation, and build cultures of responsibility. Her work explores the leader's ego as an often-overlooked barrier to effectiveness, combining neuroscience, psychology, and real-world business practice to help leaders deliver results without losing themselves or their people. Ewa's previous episode on FRIED about Toxic Communication: https://redcircle.com/shows/e4c0db0a-98a4-47e6-a2b0-6a291469e1d6/ep/66b2189c-5b9b-4f5a-a1e3-c9cd0d35c874 About the HostCait Donovan is a globally recognized keynote speaker, one of the world's leading burnout experts, and host of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast, a top 1% podcast with more than 1 million downloads. With a background in biobehavioral health and Chinese medicine, Cait takes a systems-based approach to burnout, helping organizations, leaders, and individuals understand burnout not as a personal failure, but as a mismatch between people and the environments in which they work. Cait is the author of The Bouncebackability Factor and the forthcoming Mismatch: Why Good People Burn Out in Good Organizations. Her work has been featured in Forbes, NPR, The New York Post, and other major media outlets. Bring Cait to your organization: Learn more about Cait's keynotes and workplace burnout programs at https://caitdonovan.com/
