STRIPPED: Drop Your Patterns

Rachael Jaye

Inviting conscious daters to strip their conditioning and invite Love into their lives. Tired of dating advice that doesn’t fit? STRIPPED reveals how gender-role conditioning shapes love, identity, and connection—and why it’s time to drop the old patterns that no longer serve you. Hosted by men's favorite dating and relationship coach Rachael Jaye, each episode invites you to stay open, get real, and build compassionate connections across the gender divide.

  1. Stop Running Your Adult Heart on Middle School Software

    -18 Ч

    Stop Running Your Adult Heart on Middle School Software

    There was a moment — probably somewhere between 6th and 9th grade — when you gathered every ounce of courage you had, made yourself vulnerable, and got absolutely demolished for it. You didn't call it a nervous system imprint. You just called it “never doing that again.” And here's the thing: you kept that promise. In this episode, we trace the direct line between that formative moment of humiliation and the patterns running your love life right now — the walls, the avoidance, the chase, the armor. We talk about why your body is still protecting a version of you that doesn't need that protection anymore, and why the "butterflies" you've been chasing might be the exact thing keeping you stuck. This is the episode that connects everything from the last two weeks — and it might be the most important piece of the puzzle yet. In this episode: Why early experiences with vulnerability and rejection don't just sting — they become the architecture your nervous system builds around every future attempt at connection The reason butterflies and anxiety feel identical in your body — and why that distinction could be changing everything about who you're attracted to The four coping patterns that formed to protect you then, and are quietly running the show now Why the steady, available person terrifies you more than the one who keeps you guessing Referenced in this episode: STRIPPED Episode 25: "No Fireworks? No Problem: Why Chasing Spark Is a Race You Don’t Want to Win" STRIPPED Episode 26: “No Butterflies, No Problem – My Husband’s Side of the Story” Ready to stop repeating the loop? Magnetik: The Magnetism Mastery System is a six-week, self-guided transformation system built for the man who has his external life handled but knows something is still missing. Private. On your schedule. Real change. Spots are limited. Join the waitlist and be first in when the next round opens:  👉 theconnectioncoachonline.kit.com/magnet   Reflect: " Think back to the first time you were truly vulnerable with someone you had feelings for — and it cost you something. What did you decide in the aftermath? And is that decision still making choices for you today?” Reach Out:  DM me on LinkedIn Email: hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Download the FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men Grab the FREE 5-Minute Pre-Date Pre-Game Worksheet— step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic If this episode landed somewhere real for you, subscribe and share it with someone who needs to hear it. That's how this work spreads. 🫶

    22 мин.
  2. No Butterflies, No Problem – My Husband’s Side of the Story

    17 ФЕВР.

    No Butterflies, No Problem – My Husband’s Side of the Story

    What does it really feel like when you meet someone and there are no fireworks—just clarity?  Last week, we unpacked how pop culture has trained us to chase intensity, mistake anxiety for attraction, and overlook the calm connections that actually have staying power. This week, we're getting personal.  In this episode, I sit down with my husband, Stephen, for an unscripted conversation about his own dating journey—what he experienced with butterflies in relationships before his first marriage, how he navigated dating after his divorce, and what it was actually like when he met me.  This isn't a polished interview. It's just a real conversation between two people who chose grounded connection over chaos—and it might just shift the way you think about what "the One" is supposed to feel like.  If you've ever wondered whether you're "settling" because someone doesn't give you butterflies, or if you've dismissed great people because the spark wasn't there, this episode will give you a lot to think about.  Because sometimes, the love of your life doesn't announce itself with fireworks. Sometimes it just feels like coming home.  🎧 Listen now—and start recognizing what real attraction feels like when your nervous system isn't bracing. Reflect: Think about a time you felt calm and clear with someone. Did you dismiss it as "no chemistry," or did you lean in? What might change if you started valuing clarity over chaos? Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to The Magnetism Mastery Playbook)! Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    24 мин.
  3. No Fireworks? No Problem: Why Chasing Spark Is a Race You Don’t Want to Win

    10 ФЕВР.

    No Fireworks? No Problem: Why Chasing Spark Is a Race You Don’t Want to Win

    What if the feelings we’ve been taught to chase are the very thing keeping us stuck? Movies, TV shows, and even dating culture itself have trained us to equate instant chemistry, butterflies, and emotional intensity with “real” connection. The music swells, the eye contact hits, and suddenly it feels like fate. That drama makes for great TV — but not necessarily for healthy, grounded relationships in real life. In this episode of STRIPPED: Drop Your Patterns, we unpack how pop culture has shaped our expectations of love, why calm clarity often gets overlooked or misunderstood, and how nervous system activation can masquerade as attraction. We explore the difference between chemistry and compatibility, why intensity can feel addictive, and what it actually feels like when a connection is aligned rather than dysregulated. Most importantly, we ask the question no one really prepares us for: How do we build relationships that feel safe, mutual, and real — when we’ve been conditioned to expect chaos, longing, and pursuit? If you’ve ever wondered why the relationships that feel “electric” tend to burn out — and why the steady ones can feel unfamiliar or even boring at first — this episode will shift the way you understand attraction, desire, and connection. 🎧 Listen now — and start noticing what your body has been taught to mistake for love.   Reflect: When you think about the people you’ve felt the strongest chemistry with, was your body calm and clear — or restless, jittery, and on edge? What could it feel like in your body to experience attraction without anxiety? Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to new offerings)!  Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    16 мин.
  4. "It’s Not You… It’s Me" - Why You Keep Being Almost Chosen

    3 ФЕВР.

    "It’s Not You… It’s Me" - Why You Keep Being Almost Chosen

    There’s an exhaustion that comes from modern dating — not from clear rejection, but from being almost chosen. From building connection and momentum, only to hear some version of: “You’d make a great partner… just not for me.” In this episode of STRIPPED: Drop Your Patterns, we explore why this experience repeats for so many people — and why adjusting your behavior, communication style, or “energy” rarely fixes it. This conversation goes beneath dating advice and into the patterns your nervous system brings into connection — the beliefs, expectations, and self-protective strategies that quietly shape attraction and attachment. I even share my lived experience creating and eventually breaking my own patterns.  If you’ve ever felt like dating keeps leading you to the same emotional ending, this episode will help you understand why — and what actually creates a different outcome. At the end of the episode, I also share details about something I’ve been hinting at over the past few weeks and am opening TOMORROW for a very small group of listeners. Doors close Friday. If you’ve ever thought, “This always happens to me,” this episode is for you.   Reflect: What part of you is bracing for disappointment before it actually happens? Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to upcoming opportunities)!  Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    18 мин.
  5. When They Pull Back: Is It a Sign… or Just Early Dating?

    27 ЯНВ.

    When They Pull Back: Is It a Sign… or Just Early Dating?

    In today’s episode, we explore one of the most universal — and most destabilizing — moments in modern dating: the first dip in energy, effort, or communication. Whether you’re a woman wondering why a man went quiet after weeks of consistency, or a man who spirals the moment a woman’s tone shifts, this episode unpacks what’s actually happening beneath the surface… and why it has less to do with rejection and more to do with the natural rhythm of early connection. I break down: Why the 6–8 week mark often triggers the first wobble in pacing, communication, and nervous system activationHow the “rubber band effect” works and why expansion and contraction are normal parts of developing connectionHow to hold emotional space without chasing, clinging, withdrawing, or performing ‘cool girl/guy’ energyWhy going to your friends too quickly can fuel anxiety rather than clarityA somatic practice to move from panic to presence so you can respond instead of reactHow to ask for clarity from a grounded, secure place instead of anxiety or pressureWe’re going deep - using a universal experience as a doorway into a much larger conversation on nervous system regulation, the psychology of pacing, and the early stages of compatibility. If you’ve ever felt thrown off by a quiet week, a shift in tone, or a change in rhythm… this episode will give you the tools to stay steady, self-led, and connected to your worthiness.   Reflect: When you feel the pull to panic or cling, what would it look like to stay rooted in your own life instead? Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to upcoming opportunities)!  Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    18 мин.
  6. Is Living at Home a Dealbreaker?

    20 ЯНВ.

    Is Living at Home a Dealbreaker?

    A question so many men quietly struggle with — often with shame they never say out loud: “I’m in my 30s and still living at home. Is that a dealbreaker?” In this episode of STRIPPED: Drop Your Patterns, we go far deeper than the surface-level online takes. Because this isn’t really about your address. You’ll learn why women’s standards have shifted (and why that’s not a bad thing), what living at home actually signals in dating today, and how to communicate your situation in a way that feels grounded, confident, and unapologetic. We also explore the somatic layer behind this fear — the collapse in your chest, the subtle bracing, the urge to overperform — and what that tells you about your deeper beliefs about your worth. And yes, I’ll share a personal story about a man I adored whose living situation wasn’t the issue… but his lack of rootedness was. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “behind”… this episode will shift something in you.   Reflect:  What part of your current situation are you apologizing for — silently or out loud — and what shifts when you stop apologizing and start owning your trajectory? Sit with it. Let your body answer, not your mind. And If You Want to Go Deeper… I’m building something for men who are done with shame, done with hiding, and ready to rebuild their lives from solid ground — slowly, intentionally, and with support. If you want first access, early details, and an invitation when it opens, join my email list. Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to upcoming opportunities)!  Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    16 мин.
  7. Let Go to Move Forward

    13 ЯНВ.

    Let Go to Move Forward

    It’s the second week of January, and the glow of the new year has already started to fade. Your mind drifts back to last year—what you did, what you didn’t, and where you feel you “should” be by now (again – already). In this episode, we explore how to leave the past in the past, without shame, so you can step fully into your intentions and your embodied self.  If you’ve been holding onto disappointment, missed opportunities, or the version of yourself you think “failed,” this episode is a guide to release without shame—and move forward with clarity, groundedness, and ease. Listen now and start the year lighter, freer, and more present.   Reflect: What’s one part of 2025 You that you’d like to leave behind? How would life open up for you if you could? Review: If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who’s ever stared at their phone waiting for a reply — and remind them: nothing is wrong with them. Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to upcoming opportunities)!  Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    10 мин.
  8. The Art of Non-Reaction in the Age of Read Receipts

    6 ЯНВ.

    The Art of Non-Reaction in the Age of Read Receipts

    Modern dating doesn’t just challenge how we communicate — it challenges our nervous systems. In this episode of STRIPPED: Drop Your Patterns, I explore why delayed texts and read receipts trigger anxiety, self-doubt, and impulsive reactions that can quietly sabotage connection. Using lessons from my Bikram yoga practice and real client examples, I offer non-reaction as an embodied skill — helping you pause, regulate, and respond with confidence instead of spiraling into overthinking, over-texting, or pulling away. This isn’t about playing the game better — it’s about staying connected to yourself while building real connection with someone else. And if you want to go deeper, join my email list to be among the first to access an upcoming guided journey designed to help you build emotional regulation, confidence, and authentic connection in modern dating.  Reflect: Notice your initial reaction to an irritation, discomfort, or unexpected response. What is the thought that comes up, and what action follows it? Review: If this episode resonated, please like, subscribe, and share it with someone who’s ever stared at their phone waiting for a reply — and remind them: nothing is wrong with them. Reach Out:  Have a pattern or dating question? DM me on LinkedIN or send me an email at hello@theconnectioncoachonline.com Sign up for my bi-weekly newsletter (all value, no fluff + early access to upcoming opportunities)!  Let’s dig into the blocks that are keeping you from the love of your life  and create a strategy to dissolve them – schedule a complimentary Kickoff Call! Download my FREE Speed Dating Survival Guide for Men – for when you’ve only got a few minutes to make a connection and you wanna make them count! Grab your FREE 5 Minute, Pre-Date Pre Game worksheet and step into your next date calm, confident, and magnetic!

    13 мин.

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Inviting conscious daters to strip their conditioning and invite Love into their lives. Tired of dating advice that doesn’t fit? STRIPPED reveals how gender-role conditioning shapes love, identity, and connection—and why it’s time to drop the old patterns that no longer serve you. Hosted by men's favorite dating and relationship coach Rachael Jaye, each episode invites you to stay open, get real, and build compassionate connections across the gender divide.