Suave PRX

It’s been a few months since we dropped the last episode of Suave, Season 1 on your feed. Recently our team heard a podcast episode from our friends at Ear Hustle, from PRX's Radiotopia, that made us think about some of the conversations we had with Suave about the importance of visits in prison. And we wanted to share that with you. Today we’re featuring that episode, called “Hot Trash.”

Visiting a loved one in prison is both emotionally intense and constrained by countless rules — from how much PDA is too much PDA, to what kind of candy you can eat inside. One year after California prison authorities suspended in-person visits due to COVID-19, Ear Hustle brings you stories from and about visiting rooms, and hear how families are adjusting to video “visits.”

For more Ear Hustle episodes, visit here.

“There's no winners in this. You’re a victim so you victimize other people because you’re hurt. It's a circle and it goes on and on.”

Suave reckons with the last three decades of his life and begins to deal with the traumas of his childhood and incarceration that he’s long buried. Maria and Maggie discuss how the Supreme Court decision has played out differently across the country, leaving some other juvenile lifers still behind bars. Maria worries about the lasting effects of lifetime parole on Suave and comforts him through some tough disappointments. And Suave ponders what it truly means to be free.

Please note that this episode contains a brief description of violence and sexual abuse. You can avoid it by skipping between 4:45-6:45.

“That little place right here changed my whole life. December 6, 1986. 15 seconds. 15 seconds changed my whole life.”

Suave has been cleared from all accusations and is free once again. He returns with Maria to the corner of 8th and Somerset in the Badlands—the place where his victim’s young life ended and the place that changed the course of Suave’s life. And Suave reveals to Maria a shocking story she’s never heard before about the night of the murder in 1986.

“Doesn’t matter if you doing good, if you got a job, it doesn't matter—it could be snatched up in a heartbeat and there's nothing you could do about it.”

Suave returns to prison and goes silent for weeks. Maria tries to figure out why and finds herself torn between her faith in Suave’s innocence and her responsibility to believe his accuser. Suave finds it impossible to adjust to being back in prison. Maria questions the entire parole system of and whether Suave will ever be truly free. Suave finally goes before a judge and again finds himself fighting for his freedom.

“I never dreamed that it would be this good. Even the worst day that I have is good. I'm going up… and I know everything that goes up must come down.”

Suave kicks off his first day of freedom by checking things off his bucket list, including a long overdue conversation with his brother and an apology to students at a school in his old neighborhood in the Badlands. We follow Suave in his first year of freedom as he experiences the excitement of many firsts and as he tries to adjust to his new life on the outside…. until an unexpected revelation puts Suave’s future into doubt.

“We had a secret, unspoken bond. We’re all dying in here. And I felt like I was breaking that bond. I feel like I'm leaving my brothers behind.”

Suave moves to a transitional housing unit at Graterford and begins to prepare for his release. But as he readies for life on the outside, his excitement gives way to a “never-ending list of fears” about life outside of prison. Suave also reckons with some complicated emotions—both the unparalleled joys of his upcoming release and the guilt of leaving behind the men he’s considered his brothers for nearly three decades. Maria ponders how her relationship with Suave will change now that they have a chance to explore their connection beyond a journalist-source relationship, as she travels to Graterford on his release day to bring him home.