Table Talks with the Tares

The Honest Underscore
  • 5.0 (6)
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How do you know you're showing up the way you mean to? You won't unless you stop to check. MJ and Ash are a husband and wife with completely opposite wiring. Raising kids in the years the intent is high, but the capacity is low. Every week they get honest about the story playing underneath the home they’re trying to build together, share notes and recalibrate before the next week. Because wanting better doesn’t always mean doing better.

  1. 10h ago

    183 - Designed to Disagree: Why your Spouse’s Pushback is Actually an Asset

    What if the pushback is the point? Your spouse pushes back, and the instinct is to get defensive. Genesis calls a spouse a helper, but the Hebrew means something closer to a helper who stands opposite you. The friction isn't a glitch. It's the design. We get into how to turn all that pushback into something you build with, instead of something you brace against. Resources: Jeremy Pryor’s Article:   A Companion Who Helps and Opposes  Our morning meetings:   What Business Meetings Taught Me About Running a Home — The Honest Underscore  Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: 174 - Rest or Prep: The Sunday Night Tension — The 3 questions that took the tension out of Sunday evenings before a new week hits. New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too. Stay connected: 🌐   The Honest Underscore | Discover Your Path - Start Today  📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.

    29 min

  2. Jun 22

    182 - Don’t tear down what you spent all week building

    Some days are for laying bricks. Others are for making sure you’re not tearing down the walls. Some days we feel like we’re nailing it. Other days are monotonous, exhausting, and frustrating and suddenly we’re showing up in ways we didn’t mean. Anyone else? Proverbs 14:1 gives clear warning that a wise woman builds her house, while a foolish ones tears it down with her own hands. So, even on the unproductive and exhausting days, remember that not tearing down the walls is still moving you forward. Resources: Bible verse: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 Resources referenced: • Book 1 — Amazon Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 153 — Why Running Without Margin Always Catches Up — “Even ‘good’ things produce pain when they exceed our capacity.” - Richard Swenson, M.D. New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too. Stay connected: 🌐   The Honest Underscore | Discover Your Path - Start Today  📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.

    27 min

  3. Jun 15

    181 - The 4 Daily Moments That Make or Break Family Peace

    Most family stress doesn't come from the big moments. It shows up in the ordinary transition moments nobody has a clear plan for. In this episode, we get honest about the 4 daily transitions that were derailing our family life. Not because our kids were misbehaving, but because the expectations were never actually taught. They were just repeated. Every. Single. Day. We talk about what was missing, the visual system we built to close the gap, and how our kids have risen to the responsibility of running their own routines and looking out for each other. You'll walk away with: Why repeating expectations daily usually isn't a discipline problem, it's a training problem How we identified the 4 transitions where everything was breaking down and what was actually missing The visual tool that made everything clear, reduced the barking orders, and taught our kids to take real ownership of their routines Grab the Free Resource: The Daily Rhythm Charts: Family Bundle -includes editable visual routine charts for ages 2–10 to help your kids take ownership of daily routines. Grab your free printable bundle and watch your kids rise to it. → Daily Rhythm Charts: Family Bundle ‌ Book Referenced: Fantastic Mr. Fox Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 170 — The Thing About Our Family that Others Notice — If transitions are the gap, this episode talks about where setting the foundation starts. Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose. New drop every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people. Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com 📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on the frameworks we're testing, the gaps we've found, and the questions we can't stop thinking about. So you can see your own gaps more clearly. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

    27 min

  4. Jun 8

    180 - Old Wounds New Fights: Why am I even this upset right now

    The hard part isn't the fight. It's figuring out what the fight is actually about. In this episode, we talk about what happens when an old pain gets bumped and the reaction that comes out has nothing to do with the person standing in front of you. You'll Walk Away With Why some reactions feel bigger than the moment and what that might be telling you. What it looked like when this showed up for us and why it's hard to trace in real time. A question to ask before you respond that changes the whole direction of the conversation. Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 100: How Adoption Changed Me — If this one resonated, that one goes deeper as Ash unpacks how this can show up in parenthood, too. Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose. New drop every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people. Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore 📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on the frameworks we're testing, the gaps we've found, and the questions we can't stop thinking about. So you can see your own gaps more clearly. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

    29 min

  5. Jun 1

    179 - Your Love Language Isn’t Their Love Language

    Spoiler: physical touch doesn't mean what you think it does. In this episode, we talk about the breakdown that happens when we try to love each other well but are speaking different languages. You'll walk away with: Why it’s easy to default to your own love language even when you know better The real moment this showed up for us and how we worked through it One thing to say when you can feel the conversation starting to go sideways Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 154 — Controlling the Controllables and a Shortcut to Real Connection — Once you know the language, this one is about what happens when you're too exhausted to speak it. Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose. New episodes every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people. Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore 📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, and one question to sit with. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

    28 min

  6. May 25

    178 - Fixing the Communication Gap: Venting vs Asking for Help

    Have you ever meant well and still missed the mark? You didn't need a solution. You needed someone to listen and somehow that got lost. In this episode, we dig into one of the most common friction points in any close relationship: the moment one person needs to be heard and the other instinctively tries to help. It's not a communication problem. It's a mismatch in expectations. And one small question can change everything. You'll Walk Away With Why venting and asking for help aren't the same thing and why mixing them up is a wiring difference, not a character flaw Why the externalizer and the internal processor hear the same conversation completely differently Two questions that reset expectations before the conversation goes sideways Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 169 — It's Not What You Say, it's How You Say It — Once you know what kind of conversation you're in, this one picks up from there on tone, timing, and why the same words can land completely differently. Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose. New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people. Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com 📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

    35 min

  7. May 18

    177 - Take More Risks. Rhythms become the Fallback

    It started with MJ saying we need to take more risks as a family and somehow that turned into tent camping with a baby. In this episode, we talk about why having strong rhythms isn't just about running a tight ship; it's what gives you the freedom to shake things up, try something hard, and actually recover from it. Plus, it’s a practical way we're teaching our kids to take measured risks. You'll walk away with: Why your rhythms aren't a ceiling, they're a launchpad for taking risks If you don't know how to do the thing, just do it bad first and go from there Resources Referenced: https://youtu.be/gjwofYhUJEM?si=eJ5-LePa6alYe41m Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 133 — The Legacy We Hope to Build, Not Raising Entitled Kids — if raising kids who embrace hard things resonates, this one goes deeper into the legacy we’re trying to build. Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose. New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people. Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com 📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

    28 min

  8. May 11

    176 - Good Intentions Aren’t Good Enough, Finding Restorative Rest as A Family

    Good intentions don’t automatically create the outcome you hope for. MJ tried to give Ash a break but the rest didn't actually restore. In this episode we unpack why good intentions miss when people recharge differently, and the real difference between rest and restoration. You'll walk away with: How loving your partner well means learning how they refuel The difference between rest and restoration, and why choosing what you need over what you want is sometimes harder than it sounds Continue the conversation: → Your Next Listen: Ep. 12 — The Sabbath: Our Foundational Rhythm— if this episode stirred something in you about rest, this is where we share the rhythm that's anchored our family for years. Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose. New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people. Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com 📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom] ✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com

    44 min
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About

How do you know you're showing up the way you mean to? You won't unless you stop to check. MJ and Ash are a husband and wife with completely opposite wiring. Raising kids in the years the intent is high, but the capacity is low. Every week they get honest about the story playing underneath the home they’re trying to build together, share notes and recalibrate before the next week. Because wanting better doesn’t always mean doing better.

Information

  • Creator
    The Honest Underscore
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    184
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Table Talks with the Tares

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