181 episodes

Comedians Frank Garcia-Hejl & Geoff Garlock (and the occasional special guest) go through the canon of films created by one of the BEST production companies of the ’80s: The Cannon Films Group!

The Cannon Canon The Cannon Canon

    • TV & Film
    • 4.8 • 57 Ratings

Comedians Frank Garcia-Hejl & Geoff Garlock (and the occasional special guest) go through the canon of films created by one of the BEST production companies of the ’80s: The Cannon Films Group!

    HELLBOUND + "Goodbye"...for now (w/Frank & Geoff)

    HELLBOUND + "Goodbye"...for now (w/Frank & Geoff)

    "ROYAL BLOOD!" Well, Cannonheads. The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) have one last Cannon hurrah before shooting up the coffin of The Cannon Canon. The Cannon Canon is taking an indefinite hiatus (possibly returning with a new format/focus in the future) and what better way to send us off than with Cannon's "final" movie, HELLBOUND!

    In this episode, The Cannon Bros reminisce about their 4-year run and FINALLY try Bronson's cologne, Mandom! We chat about the wild tone shifts of Hellbound, the proto-Walker Texas Ranger vibes, the heavy lifting of acting from Calvin Levels and of course...thuddy quips from the “black hole of comedy”, Molasses 2x4!



    Thank you to everyone who listened and supported the show! Especially to our Patreon members and also to the author of The Cannon Film Guide series himself, Austin Trunick.



    We thought we'd be the future! But then Marion Cobretti pointed his gun at us and said, "No. You're history".



    Thanks for everything, Cannon fans.



    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    • 2 hr 16 min
    52 PICK UP (w/ Frank and Geoff

    52 PICK UP (w/ Frank and Geoff

    "So long, Sport." The Cannon Bros (Frank and Geoff) are back in Cannon Prestige territory with a stacked cast and some classy sleaze with "52 PICK UP"!

    Roy Scheider plays an ego-driven jerk, John Glover goes full Philly, poor Ann-Margret gets put through the wringer, Clarence Williams the III steals the show and once again.. Vanity!

    ”Something about your face makes me want to slap the sh!t out of you!" is what The Cannon Bros would say if you missed this episode!

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    • 1 hr 55 min
    THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (w/ Frank and Geoff)

    THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN (w/ Frank and Geoff)

    "This coke's kinda sweet. It's really good stuff!" The movie so nice (?) Golan and Globus made it twice! First as Lemon Popsicle and then updated for American audiences in the 80's. That's right, today the Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) break out the Oingo Boingo for yet another teen sex comedy, THE LAST AMERICAN VIRGIN! Starring the most unlikeable whiny ass character besides the kid in "Over The Top" (which is actually pretty accurate for a teenage boy, so it gets a pass).

    So bring your small Christmas trees and bag of oranges and "Come to Carmela!" *cue "Are You Ready for the Sex Girls"*



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    • 1 hr 40 min
    DIE HARD (w/ Frank and Geoff)

    DIE HARD (w/ Frank and Geoff)

    "Welcome to the party, pal!" Now we have a Die Hard episode HoHoHo! That's right, we're steering the sleigh away from Cannon Town to deliver the gift of our thoughts on this Holiday classic.

    Rub your feet on this episode carpet, grab a twinkie and declare "Yipee-ki-ya, *Mister Falcon"! (*edited for TV version).

    (in Hans Gruber voice) Merry Christmas, Cannonheads.



    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    • 1 hr 46 min
    DOWN TWISTED (w/Frank and Geoff)

    DOWN TWISTED (w/Frank and Geoff)

    “The deal’s going down. But it’s going down twisted." The Cannon Bros travel back to the Pyuniverse and get down twisted about 1987's "DOWN TWISTED"!

    The Cannon Bros (Frank & Geoff) get disoriented with all the (down) twists and turns, contemplate the "comedic relief" of the late Charles Rocket, some Cannon Oingo Boingo reuse and...oh yeah! Hey, it's Masters of the Universe's (and nothing else) Courtney Cox for a quick minute!

    Ultimately, Albert Pyun's unique and signature style elevates what would normally be a static action crime adventure. But one thing's certain, it's...Down Twisted. 😎

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    • 1 hr 23 min
    PRESTIGE CANNON: SHY PEOPLE (w/ Frank and Geoff)

    PRESTIGE CANNON: SHY PEOPLE (w/ Frank and Geoff)

    "Swamp makes a body see…whatever they wants ta see." Get on your tuxes and cook up dat gumbo, cher! Cuz we're back in Prestige Cannon territory with a drama only Cannon can add a bit of sleaze to... SHY PEOPLE!

    The Cannon Bros define what "Boomer Emo Porn" is, covet Martha Plimpton's shirt collection, discuss ACT-ING and finally get to go on a proper Tangerine Dream tangent.

    “Now get yo mamma to stitch that up!” and crawl da swamps of data der Cannon Canon! (cajun laugh)



    OUR PATREON: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/thecannoncanon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    Please rate and review us!

    • 1 hr 44 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
57 Ratings

57 Ratings

Cinema Fanboy ,

Great pod series.

I love listening to the detailed history of a significant film studio in the 1980s. Most of the movies were tacky and exploitative, which makes the reviews and backstories all the more intriguing.
The movie with the dolls with the metal teeth and the lady in the fur was Barbarella (1968). In the doll scene shes wearing a tight black and silver body suit. In the next scene she changes into the fur suit because the dolls ripped her body suit.

Flash Fan #1 ,

Brilliance!

Love the Cannon Bros talking about the strangest, boldest, brashest, and most audacious triumphs and failures of the controversial film company

GameraSoup ,

A podcast that shames it own content

The Cannon Canon is like having 2 stepfathers who take you to your favorite ice cream parlor. Then tell you you can have any delicious flavors you want…..but while you’re eating your scoop of ice cream they lecture you on how bad this ice cream is for you and that the maker of this specific scoop did use the proper ingredients.

I truly enjoy cannon movies. As an adult I know that they were made in a specific time and manner that doesn’t live up to are high standards and morals of today.

I’ve listened to this podcast for 2 years and haven’t left a review because I love the subject matter…..but I go back and forth on how I feel about the host. The host picked a subject matter that I don’t believe they gusto to tackle. A good portion of their podcast they drift off into tangents that last waaaay to long…..or even worse they put on their high moral big boy pants and look down on these cinematic gems for not having the value of todays Disney+ content.

I believe spice adds flavor to anything. We may not like the spice, flavor or dish. But at least it wasn’t bland. That’s what made Cannon so delicious.

Listen at your own risk or enjoyment. I gave up mid way through Carpentober month. And I love myself some Carpenter.

By the way, I’m a person of ethnicity and liberal and not some agro troll.

Thank for the podcast. I’m out :)

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