The Continuum Podcast

Adam Long & Kyle Stacey
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  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

The Continuum Podcast is somehow the very definition of being able to continue an endless conversation from episode to episode, made up of multiple subjects and discussions that Adam (the English one) & Kyle (the South African one) know very little about. The guys share their thoughts and opinions allowing the listeners to be the “fly on the wall” on what everyday conversations between somewhat "normal" people are actually like. Enjoy the almost seamless splicing of the Continuum Podcast, which shares high points and low – but is a great conversation of discovery between two friends that don’t really know each other, but have a good laugh along the way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  1. 7h ago

    176 - Funeral Options to Reanimation

    Kyle opens the episode by briefly eulogising Adam… before confirming he’s very much alive. From there, the guys dive straight back into the cheery topic of death. Specifically, what actually happens to you when it’s all over. From traditional burials and cremations to the weirder alternatives (aquamation, human composting, turning yourself into a diamond, or even blasting your ashes into space), they explore just how many options there really are—and why most of them feel either too expensive or slightly terrifying. The real shock? Funeral costs. Thousands of pounds spent on something you’ll never even attend sparks a brutally honest debate: is any of it actually worth it? Naturally, things get suspicious. Can you trust what’s in the coffin? What happens to people with no family? Are funeral homes just quietly running a very strange business model? And why does everything, from pet cremations to full services, suddenly get so expensive when someone dies? From there, the tone shifts from dark curiosity to dark humour: IKEA flat‑pack funerals, ocean send‑offs, Viking burials (legal or not), and the idea that the best send‑off might just be “cheap and cheerful, then straight to the pub.” But just when you think it can’t get weirder, it does. Zombies, parasites that control behaviour, and the age‑old question “could you actually reanimate a body?” take the episode into full sci‑fi territory. Frankenstein gets a mention, logic gets questionable, and a new topic is born… Next episode: reanimation. Because of course it is. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min

  2. May 25

    175 - Crazy Monkey to Funeral Options

    Adam and Kyle kick things off with a blast from South African internet history: Crazy Monkey, the gloriously low-budget, aggressively pointless prank series that somehow became a cult phenomenon. Think Jackass… if nobody involved could quite be bothered to commit to the stunt. There’s deep appreciation for the absurdity of it all: prank calls where nobody answers, shopping trolley “stunts” that barely move, and dramatic intros for painfully ordinary activities. The lads unpack why the humour worked so well — a perfect parody of early-2000s “extreme” culture where even standing near a microwave with a cell phone somehow counted as dangerous entertainment. From there, the rabbit hole deepens into Straight Outta Benoni. The bizarre feature film spun out of the Crazy Monkey crew. Kyle revisits the strange plot, local auditions, failed music dreams, random lake monsters, and the surreal experience of watching people from his hometown accidentally become movie stars. There’s nostalgia, confusion, and genuine disbelief that the whole thing seems to have almost vanished from the internet entirely. But as always, the Continuum can’t stay in one lane for long. The conversation slowly drifts from forgotten internet culture into the far more existential topic of funerals. Suddenly it’s burial vs cremation, funeral costs, bizarre send-off ideas, and the strange reality that most people never really discuss what they actually want done after they die. Naturally, the lads approach it with the perfect balance of curiosity and inappropriate humour. Weighing up practicalities, awkward traditions, and whether modern funerals are more for the living than the dead. It’s nostalgic, weirdly philosophical, and exactly the kind of episode that starts with shopping trolley pranks and somehow ends with end-of-life planning — a classic Continuum spiral from internet stupidity to mortality itself. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min

  3. May 18

    174 - Barbers to Crazy Monkey

    Adam and Kyle pick up where they left off with barbers, delving into the boredom, and the deeply uncomfortable art of small talk while someone holds scissors near your ears. From childhood salon trauma to choosing barbers specifically to avoid conversation, they unpack why haircuts should be transactional and fast… and why Turkish/Kurdish barbers, language barriers, and cash‑only mysteries somehow make that possible. Things take a darker turn as they question hygiene, barbicide, shared scissors, tapeworm horror stories, and whether half the barbers on the high street are hairdressers, money‑laundering fronts, or both. Cue discussions about haircut prices, tipping etiquette, strategic balding haircuts, and the universal truth that bald men look better with beards. That spirals naturally into celebrity lookalikes. Christopher Meloni, Edward Norton disputes, and the brutal reality of AI face‑matching accusing Adam of looking like Nick Frost, James Corden, and Jonah Hill (which goes down about as well as you’d expect). From there, the episode pivots hard into pure nostalgia: Eminem albums bought in secret and subsequently confiscated by parents, MTV after dark, and the golden age of music television… Cribs, Pimp My Ride, Celebrity Deathmatch, Beavis & Butt‑Head, and the slow death of music channels as reality TV took over. The episode closes with a deep cut: Crazy Monkey—South Africa’s home‑grown Jackass knock‑off that somehow exploded into a cult hit, spawned a movie, and nearly changed Kyle’s life trajectory entirely. Equal parts ridiculous, nostalgic, and faintly tragic, it tees up a full Crazy Monkey deep dive next episode. Classic Continuum: barbers, baldness, banned CDs, bad AI opinions, and absolute cultural chaos. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min

  4. May 11

    173 - Bidets to Barbers

    Adam returns from the continent with stories that absolutely did not need telling... but tells them anyway. What starts as an innocent curiosity about hotel bidets quickly derails into robot toilets, heated seats, accidental self‑irrigation, and the very real fear of walking around with a soggy arse and no instructions. From Japanese high‑tech toilets to British bidet confusion, the lads ask the big questions no one wants to Google: how are you actually meant to use one? Somehow, the conversation escalates into haemorrhoids. How they appear, why everyone panics it’s cancer, and the quiet shame of buying cream at the chemist while pretending it’s “for your gran.” It’s crude, honest, and uncomfortably relatable. From there, Adam shifts gears into travel tales from Spain: Google Translate diplomacy, Barcelona taxi drivers driving like it’s Mario Kart, pigeon near‑misses, and Catalonia’s week‑long Valentine’s tradition involving roses and books. Then, naturally, the episode swerves again, this time into the strange universe of barbers. Turkish barbers, Kurdish barbers, flaming ear hair, nostril waxing, hot towels that last forever, beard perfection, and the shocking moment Kyle accidentally got a spray‑on hairline and briefly became Action Man. Relaxing for some, psychological torture for others. It’s peak Continuum: filthy, funny, culturally confused, and packed with stories you can’t unhear, ending with a promise to go even deeper into barbers next time. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min

  5. May 4

    172 - Maple Syrup to Bidets

    Kyle and Adam somehow turn a harmless chat about maple syrup into a deep dive on global food monopolies, protected designations, and one of the weirdest crimes you’ll ever hear about: the Great Maple Syrup Heist. From Quebec cornering 70% of the world’s supply to debates about price‑fixing, reserves, and whether maple syrup could ever replace petrol (spoiler: absolutely not), the episode kicks off with classic, lightly informed chaos. The conversation then slides gracefully into questionable science. Burning coffee grounds for fuel, mouldy maple syrup etiquette, and the age‑old dilemma of whether you can just “cut the mould off” bread and pretend everything’s fine. From there, it’s a full-on fungal spiral: controlled mould, blue cheese, penicillin, and how humanity ever decided that injecting bacteria into milk was a good idea. As the food talk threatens to take over the entire podcast, Adam hints at European travels, Spanish cuisine, and finally tees up the real headline act for next time: bidets. Because after maple syrup, mould, and cheese, where else could this possibly go? Peak Continuum: curious, ridiculous, strangely educational, and absolutely unhinged. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    30 min

  6. Apr 20

    171 - Tea to Maple Syrup

    Adam and Kyle stick the kettle on and commit, fully, to what might be their most aggressively British episode yet: over half an hour talking about tea… and somehow not running out of opinions. It starts innocently enough with oolong confusion, Yorkshire Tea loyalty, and a firm refusal to stray too far into “herbal nonsense.” But things quickly escalate into sugar vs no sugar, honey superiority claims, and the quiet horror of someone putting six teaspoons in a single mug. There’s strong anti–milk-substitute energy too, as coconut milk gets exposed for being more marketing than miracle, and curdling in tea is treated like a personal betrayal. From there, it’s a full-blown tasting tour. Rooibos debates, Earl Grey slander, and the age-old question of whether hot drinks actually warm you up or if it’s all just psychological mind games. There are detours into honey authenticity, loose-leaf tea shops, and the unspoken rules of when it’s acceptable to deviate from a standard brew. And just when you think they might actually stay on topic… the trees get involved. Out of nowhere, the conversation taps into maple syrup. Suddenly it’s funnels in trees, sap extraction, and the baffling reality that it takes 40–50 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup, with strict “no double tapping” rules depending on tree size. There’s genuine confusion about who first looked at a tree and thought, “yeah, I’ll drink that,” plus the alarming discovery that boiling it indoors basically turns your house into a sticky crime scene. It’s niche, it’s nerdy, and it’s wildly committed to beverages and condiments (is maple syrup a condiment). A cosy, chaotic deep dive that proves the Continuum can stretch an everyday topic to breaking point… and then casually pivot to tree sap without missing a beat. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min

  7. Apr 13

    170 - International Fast Food to Tea

    Kyle and Adam thought they knew the global fast food landscape. They were wrong… and the answer to who actually tops the list isn't who you'd expect. This week the lads go worldwide, swapping their usual local haunts for a full tour of international chains. Adam raids the South African archives, Kyle brings receipts from a McDonald's visit in China, and between them they work through a Wikipedia list of the world's top fast food rankings that throws up more than a few surprises, and at least one entry that has no business being there. There's also a brief, ill-advised detour into Taiwan-China relations that gets abandoned almost as quickly as it starts. Naturally, this being the Continuum, the conversation doesn't stay on the menu for long. Somewhere between bubble tea, Chinese tea culture, and the realisation that Britain has some strong opinions on the subject, the episode finds its next destination, and it's one that's been brewing for a while. Which can only mean one thing. Tea is up next. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    32 min

  8. Apr 6

    169 - Takeaway Orders to International Fast Food

    Kyle and Adam pick up exactly where they left off — with a misdirected text about chicken, meat dates, and dog walks setting the tone before they've even introduced themselves. The big question this week: what actually counts as a takeaway? Adam's got strong opinions. Nando's doesn't qualify. McDonald's doesn't qualify. If it's got a dining room, it's a restaurant, not a takeaway - end of debate. Kyle disagrees. Loudly. The philosophical standoff over whether a Sunset Burger delivered to your door constitutes a proper takeaway could've lasted all episode, but they've got chicken livers to discuss. From Nando's orders and halloumi temperatures to the Portuguese roots of a South African franchise and why chicken tikka masala became Britain's unofficial national dish without anyone really knowing what's in it, the lads wade happily into food culture. Portion sizes for mac and cheese cause genuine outrage. A chorizo mash croquette anecdote takes approximately four times longer to tell than it should. Nobody minds. The subject of cooking without measuring sparks a proper chef-vs-civilian exchange (turns out years in a professional kitchen will do that to you) before the conversation finds its groove in proper takeaway orders. Kyle's a Nando's man. Adam's been on a chicken tikka bhuna run after the jalfrezi started winning the morning-after battle. Onion bhajis, poppadoms, garlic naan, saag aloo - the full spread gets its moment. Then it's the sodium reckoning. Domino's, Pringles, ultra-processed food engineered to keep you eating, and a genuinely heated Bisto debate that might be the most divided the two have ever been on anything. By the end, they've barely scratched the surface of global fast food, which can only mean one thing: next week, it's going international. Thoughtful, hungry, and dangerously close to ordering something mid-episode. Proof that on the Continuum, no food goes undiscussed and no takeaway classification goes unchallenged. Like and Subscribe www.thecontinuumpod.com X - @thecontinuumpod Insta - @thecontinuumpod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    31 min
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About

The Continuum Podcast is somehow the very definition of being able to continue an endless conversation from episode to episode, made up of multiple subjects and discussions that Adam (the English one) & Kyle (the South African one) know very little about. The guys share their thoughts and opinions allowing the listeners to be the “fly on the wall” on what everyday conversations between somewhat "normal" people are actually like. Enjoy the almost seamless splicing of the Continuum Podcast, which shares high points and low – but is a great conversation of discovery between two friends that don’t really know each other, but have a good laugh along the way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Adam Long & Kyle Stacey
  • Years Active
    2022 - 2026
  • Episodes
    178
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Adam Long
  • Show Website
    The Continuum Podcast