The Curiosity Chronicles

Taylor Cecelia Brook

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SELF-IMPROVEMENT
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Hi, I'm Taylor—writer, chaos creator and tamer, Master Unfucker, and your guide through the tangled web of life's beautiful messes. Join me while I write and talk about everything real & raw in my life and on a journey of empowerment, laughter, and maybe a little spice. taylorceceliabrook.substack.com

01/29/2025

The Struggle of Struggling

To be honest, I can’t quite remember EVERYTHING we talked about. I never can lol BUT I do know that this was an over arching theme for us AND that this podcast was the kick in the pants I needed to get my shit together! (00:00:02): and we are back i am your host taylor cecilia brooke here on the curiosity (00:00:09): chronicles and today i have a wonderful guest who has joined us before and i'm so (00:00:14): happy to have him back on this podcast this is nor hi everybody thanks for having (00:00:22): me taylor i'm glad to be back of course of course so so we don't forget (00:00:27): Before we started this podcast, (00:00:29): we were talking about Benadryl hangovers and that when you abuse it, (00:00:34): you see crazy things and you have a wild story to share about that. (00:00:39): I would absolutely love to hear it. (00:00:41): I do. (00:00:42): So there was a medication, (00:00:44): like I was recovering from an injury, (00:00:46): so I was given muscle relaxants and the specific one I was given was called Xanaflex. (00:00:52): So I had taken more than I... (00:00:57): and i didn't realize that if you it's one of those things where like if it doesn't (00:01:01): put you to sleep you're in trouble and it didn't put me to sleep so i'm lying down (00:01:06): in my bed with the lights on (00:01:08): and then i start looking at the walls and you start seeing like these little black (00:01:13): dots that start moving around and at first i was like what the hell is this and (00:01:18): then like you were saying they start taking like the form of like a spider or a bat (00:01:22): and i'm sitting there just watching it yeah then i turn to my right and there's a (00:01:28): woman (00:01:29): dead woman holding her baby right next to me and i was so goddamn scared because (00:01:36): she put her hand on my bed and when she put her hand on my bed the bed moved oh no (00:01:43): i feel like it actually moved it was terrifying and then i just what (00:01:49): Yeah, dude, it was insane. (00:01:51): And then an hour later, (00:01:53): I was trying to get myself together, (00:01:56): hiding under the curtain so she wouldn't look at me. (00:02:00): And then when the coast was clear, (00:02:01): I finally took the blanket off and I looked to my right and there was a (00:02:06): there was a black man with black priest with extremely long white dreads just (00:02:12): chanting at my bed like he was praying for me but in some like demonic like tongues (00:02:17): language and i was just like jesus what is happening and then he yeah and then the (00:02:24): last thing that i remember is that i was if the sun had finally come up i was like (00:02:30): thank god this is okay (00:02:32): But then there was this guy who had like an orange hunting cap and like some camouflage. (00:02:37): And he was just sitting in my computer chair, like rocking back and forth. (00:02:41): And he wasn't staring at me. (00:02:42): He was just chilling. (00:02:44): Yeah, I was just like, dude, this has to end. (00:02:47): I've never taken that shit since. (00:02:48): But it was like, I'd assume that's what sleep paralysis is like. (00:02:52): But I could actually move. (00:02:53): Move. (00:02:55): yeah gosh i that's like to me you know it's very reminiscent of like a mushroom (00:03:01): trip but when you're tripping on shrooms typically you make that choice yourself (00:03:04): like you go into it knowing that's what's gonna happen yeah for sure i have i (00:03:10): usually have like um more pleasant shrooms trips and whatnot nothing like that um i (00:03:15): know some people can see like the devil on shrooms and whatnot but yeah i've never (00:03:20): quite gotten to woman dead woman holding her baby (00:03:25): Yeah, mine never have been, like, terrifying. (00:03:28): The walls have done things. (00:03:31): And then, like, on my very first mushroom trip, I was doing it with Dee. (00:03:36): And we somehow managed to end up in the same trip together. (00:03:42): It was very bizarre. (00:03:44): Never had that happen before. (00:03:45): But we were experiencing and seeing. (00:03:48): Yes, we were seeing the same stuff. (00:03:50): Yeah, it was wild. (00:03:53): But at one point, he became, like, (00:03:55): a field i think it was and like he just turned into all these different things and (00:04:01): it was like the blanket morphed into something but for me the walls had like (00:04:06): started to come alive almost they had patterns and there wasn't anything crazy on (00:04:12): the walls it was just a regular freaking wall then but it started to come alive but (00:04:17): i can't imagine going into that not knowing something like to just have that happen (00:04:22): out of nowhere would be terrifying (00:04:25): Yeah, I had no idea that this was like a side effect of it. (00:04:29): I had no idea you couldn't like, I didn't realize you had to sleep on it. (00:04:34): and then so i googled it because i was like am i going insane or is this something (00:04:39): that happens to other people so i actually looked it up and there was people (00:04:43): describing this one part this one that stuck with me is like i was downstairs (00:04:49): somebody was slamming on my door so i ran upstairs and then the second i peeked (00:04:54): back down i was being it was a home invasion (00:04:58): no one was actually there but that was his hallucination people were invading his (00:05:02): home i was like jeez man i know it's crazy and well like when i said when you're in (00:05:08): that state like if it touches you like your sleep paralysis thing touches you you (00:05:12): feel it like it's very very real but i just have to keep reminding myself like it's (00:05:19): not real it's not real it's not real oh man oh (00:05:26): Congratulations on getting married. (00:05:28): Oh, thank you so much. (00:05:29): Yeah. (00:05:30): We haven't made it like, (00:05:31): I mean, (00:05:32): we posted on Facebook, (00:05:33): but I haven't like set any cards out yet. (00:05:35): Cause I need to edit all the pictures. (00:05:36): Let me tell you that story. (00:05:37): Are you ready for the most insane story ever? (00:05:40): Please. (00:05:44): So it was like right before Thanksgiving, I think. (00:05:49): And we were talking and we had been trying to figure out when we were going to get married. (00:05:53): And so I was like, (00:05:57): uh i don't know and you know both of us have been married before and i had the (00:06:01): whole giant wedding i was like i'm not doing that again i don't want that like if (00:06:05): we have an actual wedding like we'll do something small or something like that and (00:06:11): the more we talked about it the more like just annoyed i became about the amount of (00:06:17): coordination that was going to have to happen to do that and (00:06:22): the more I looked into it, the more I was like, I don't want to spend money on that. (00:06:25): I would rather spend money on a really, really, really nice honeymoon later down the line. (00:06:30): It's so expensive, man. (00:06:32): It's insane. (00:06:34): It's insane to me. (00:06:36): Like just to run out of like a little tiny space for two hours was like minimum $4,000. (00:06:42): And I was just like, no, absolutely not. (00:06:45): No, we're not doing this. (00:06:45): It's crazy. (00:06:46): I have a small ceremony in my backyard. (00:06:51): you're right right so i threw out i was like what if we elope over christmas break (00:06:55): like right around new year's because we knew izzy was gonna be here and lou would (00:07:00): be with us for actual christmas and stuff so i was like what if we do it and he was (00:07:05): like okay let's do it i was like i know it's crazy but like i think we should (00:07:10): And so we had like less than six weeks, I think, to get everything together. (00:07:14): And I found this chick online. (00:07:18): She had amazing reviews. (00:07:20): This is all she does is like basically elopements and like an ordained minister for hire. (00:07:26): And she had this package that came with pictures with it. (00:07:30): Like there was a photographer and like everything you needed was right then and there. (00:07:36): So I'm super pumped. (00:07:38): It seems like it's going to be great. (00:07:41): it took you know everything in us to get all the stuff coordinated between a dress (00:07:46): for me and his suit and dresses for the girls and shoes for the girls and all you (00:07:51): know all the stuff but in the end it was like it all came together very well so i (00:07:58): get the address for the place we're supposed to be going it's you know january so (00:08:02): it's f*****g freezing and tell me about it (00:08:05): yeah yeah exactly i'm like you can take your weather back please i know it's so bad (00:08:10): here too but it's got it's getting a little better now (00:08:14): it's only just a slight amount but at least it's not in the negatives so you know (00:08:21): that's nice um so the lady was like yeah we can do it inside in my office i was (00:08:27): like oh okay cool i get the address and i look on google maps and it's with street (00:08:32): view it's a it's like a house in the middle of nowhere and i was like is this the (00:08:35): right address she goes yeah that's the right address it's like okay maybe you know (00:08:39): she's got like an office building or something right (00:08:44): So we get there. (00:08:45): We drive out to the middle of nowhere. (00:08:47): And it is a trailer house. (00:08:52): There's no other buildings. (00:08:54): Jesus. (00:08:55): So that's her office? (00:08:57): it is her home there's no office it was her home and i was like we're supposed to (00:09:03): be doing this inside what okay so we get there she didn't even like come out and (00:09:08): greet us so i was like super worried we weren't even in the right spot and she she (00:09:13): opens the door she's like come on in and we are in her living

1h 11m
01/14/2025

Lu Boo and Tigger Too!

(00:00:02): And we are back. (00:00:04): Welcome back to the Curiosity Chronicles. (00:00:06): Today I have one of my favorite guests of all time. (00:00:10): And her name is? (00:00:12): Lucy Costello Luella. (00:00:14): Lucy Luella Costello. (00:00:16): Yes, yes, yes. (00:00:17): That is your name. (00:00:18): And how old are you? (00:00:19): Five years old. (00:00:20): You're five years old. (00:00:21): And what did you want to talk about today? (00:00:23): I want to talk about how it's... (00:00:29): how tomatoes are a fruit and not a vegetable and how you can um and how a lime is a (00:00:43): fruit and not a vegetable too yeah and some other things too what about bell (00:00:47): peppers what are bell peppers they're a fruit they're a fruit yeah and what makes (00:00:51): them all fruits instead of vegetables because if (00:00:56): It makes them all fruits because they all have seeds. (00:01:01): They all have seeds. (00:01:02): Do you know why having seeds makes them a fruit? (00:01:06): Yes. (00:01:07): Anything that has seeds is a fruit. (00:01:10): Yeah, because it is the production of the seeds. (00:01:14): So the fruit is the fruiting body. (00:01:17): Whereas like I came up with this term. (00:01:19): Potatoes and carrots and turnips and rutabagas are all root fruits. (00:01:26): Because the flower portion is the stuff we chop off. (00:01:30): And the fruit of the plant of those plants would be the root portion. (00:01:36): Which is kind of funny. (00:01:37): But they don't have seeds. (00:01:39): But did you know, Lucy, that vegetables aren't technically real? (00:01:43): What? (00:01:44): Yeah. (00:01:45): Vegetables... (00:01:46): was a word that was made up for classification purposes and doesn't actually have (00:01:55): any scientific meaning really now do not cite me on that because i could totally be (00:02:00): wrong from you know just the stuff that i've gathered knowledge wise over the last (00:02:05): you know 30 years but i'm almost 100 positive that's what i've read um (00:02:11): So, (00:02:12): yeah, (00:02:12): so they're for tomatoes, (00:02:13): limes, (00:02:14): cucumbers, (00:02:15): lemons, (00:02:16): apples, (00:02:16): oranges, (00:02:18): bell peppers, (00:02:21): pickles, (00:02:22): because pickles are cucumbers. (00:02:23): And if you didn't know that, you need to go get on the Internet. (00:02:29): Honestly. (00:02:32): Well, what kind of podcast did you call this? (00:02:35): What kind of podcast did you want to have last night? (00:02:38): Um. (00:02:46): That's what you said. (00:02:51): So originally, (00:02:52): Lucy wanted to have an eensy-weensy teensy podcast, (00:02:56): but now she wants to have a long podcast, (00:02:57): which I'm totally fine with. (00:02:58): So what are we going to talk about next, baby girl? (00:03:00): So let's talk about how you can ride a bicycle without chaining wheels for your very first time. (00:03:15): Yeah, okay. (00:03:17): So riding your bicycle without training wheels for the very first time, (00:03:22): what do you think kiddos are thinking inside their brains when they think about (00:03:26): getting ready to ride their bicycle without training wheels for the very first time? (00:03:31): They might be thinking, what if I fall off? (00:03:35): What if I don't, what if I scrape my knee? (00:03:40): If you go to the store and you see some knee pads and elbow pads, (00:03:46): that's going to be great because if you wear those along with your helmet, (00:03:51): that will help you be protected. (00:03:54): Yeah, (00:03:55): if you wear elbow pads and knee pads and a helmet, (00:03:58): you won't have to worry about what if I fall off and scrape my knee because you've (00:04:02): got all of the protective gear on. (00:04:04): Yep. (00:04:05): So correct. (00:04:06): What would you say to someone who's nervous about trying? (00:04:11): Um, if you try and, um, if you never try, you won't know how it is. (00:04:20): But if you do try, you will know how it is. (00:04:23): Yeah. (00:04:24): Does mommy say that to you sometimes? (00:04:25): Yes. (00:04:25): Yeah. (00:04:27): If you don't try, you won't know. (00:04:29): Yep. (00:04:30): But it's so true because what did I say that to you for once? (00:04:33): And you finally tried it and you loved it so much. (00:04:37): uh the green slide the green slide at the water park yeah it was actually fun it (00:04:41): was actually fun that was such a fun vacation for us wasn't it it was at kansas and (00:04:47): i loved it and the green slide was so fast and twisty and droopy and at the end um (00:04:53): there was like no underwater bit no it was just like a little um a little short (00:05:01): thing without a cover (00:05:03): It was a little short thing with like a little landing spot without a cover. (00:05:06): Yeah, that's what it was like, yeah. (00:05:10): So if someone is learning to ride their bike without training wheels and they're (00:05:16): not sure where to start to learn, (00:05:18): where do you think they should start? (00:05:20): They should start in their parents' garage if they have one or on a sidewalk or a driveway. (00:05:29): That's a great idea. (00:05:31): And do you think they might need (00:05:33): maybe one of their parents' support or help? (00:05:35): Yes. (00:05:36): How do you think it would be the most, (00:05:38): what do you think would be the most helpful for a friend of yours learning to ride (00:05:43): their bike for the first time without training wheels? (00:05:45): What do you think it would be helpful for a parent to do for them? (00:05:49): Just hold, just hold, just hold, just hold the handlebars with them. (00:06:01): hold the handlebars with them. (00:06:02): What about holding your waist or your shoulders? (00:06:05): Yes. (00:06:06): I was thinking of that too. (00:06:08): Yeah. (00:06:10): Yeah. (00:06:13): And soon enough when you're comfortable with it, (00:06:17): your parents will let you go as soon as you let them know. (00:06:21): That is so very true. (00:06:24): So once you're ready, (00:06:27): you can let your parents know that you're ready for them to let go. (00:06:30): Is that what you were saying? (00:06:31): Yes. (00:06:31): And then what? (00:06:33): And then, (00:06:34): um, (00:06:35): if you ever fall off your bike, (00:06:38): um, (00:06:39): it's okay because you'll have to wear, (00:06:44): um, (00:06:46): you, (00:06:46): you, (00:06:47): you might, (00:06:49): um, (00:06:49): you might really, (00:06:50): if (00:06:53): you might fall down and be okay still even though you don't have knee pads because (00:07:01): what if it's a teensy little tap on the road it's okay exactly exactly you want to (00:07:09): hear kind of a crazy story from when mama was like six and a half yes okay so when (00:07:16): mama was like six and a half she had a bike just like yours without training wheels (00:07:22): but I was taller because I was older. (00:07:24): So your bike right now is already too small, right? (00:07:28): Yeah. (00:07:28): Yeah. (00:07:29): So can you imagine being a little bit taller and on a tiny bike like that? (00:07:32): Yeah. (00:07:33): And how hard it would be to do things. (00:07:35): Yeah. (00:07:36): Okay. (00:07:36): So one day Gamma and I, Gamma is what my kiddos call my mom. (00:07:42): Gamma and I were on a walk on a very nice trail and I was riding my bike and Gamma (00:07:47): was walking and she knew that there was a big hill coming. (00:07:52): But I didn't, (00:07:53): and I was just pedaling and pedaling and pedaling and going, (00:07:57): and Gamble was kind of far behind me. (00:07:59): And so she had yelled at me to stop, but I didn't hear her. (00:08:04): And I kept going down the big, giant hill. (00:08:07): And because the bike was too small, (00:08:10): when I braked at the bottom of the hill, (00:08:12): do you know what happened? (00:08:13): What? (00:08:14): I flipped over the handlebars. (00:08:16): Ow. (00:08:17): And you know what saved my brain? (00:08:20): What is it? (00:08:22): take a guess uh you um you um you um you instead tried to you tried to stand up and (00:08:39): you and it worked to stand up but you were um doing a handstand that would be silly (00:08:45): no i was wearing my helmet (00:08:48): And so I didn't hurt my head because I was wearing my helmet. (00:08:50): Oh, right. (00:08:51): Which is why it's important to have a bike that is fitted properly for you. (00:08:56): I know. (00:08:56): Yeah. (00:08:57): And I now understand why Dee goes on and on and on about how important that is. (00:09:03): So that's what happened to Mommy. (00:09:05): And that's why it's important. (00:09:06): But I knew how to ride my bike, so the rest of the part was fine. (00:09:11): I just flipped because I was too big for the bike. (00:09:13): I went, zoop, because I braked and went, zoop, right over the handlebars. (00:09:21): Is there anything else you want to talk about, Princess? (00:09:23): Well, uh, yes. (00:09:29): Yeah, what do you want to talk about? (00:09:30): So if you ever want to go play outside when it's raining, you can just, um, (00:09:39): There's nothing inside, (00:09:41): but if you have a garage, (00:09:42): that's great because you can just shut open the door a little bit or watch the rain (00:09:52): or you can also play with a sports kit if you have one. (00:09:58): Yeah, that's very true. (00:10:00): Those are great, (00:10:01): great ideas for indoor activities for when it's rainy out because it was rainy all (00:10:06): day today, (00:10:07): wasn't it? (00:10:09): And when I was in my classroom, (00:10:13): I, (00:10:13): for my second recess at School Inside, (00:10:20): I played PBS Kids games. (00:10:23): What games did you play? (00:10:24): What were yo

19 min
11/19/2024

Her Clean Start

You can find all things Amber right here Amber Kliphouse (00:00:04): And we are back. (00:00:06): I'm super, (00:00:06): super excited for today, (00:00:08): for this whole podcast interview, (00:00:10): because I have with me Amber Cliphouse. (00:00:12): I met her through Kara Allwell, Girl on Fire. (00:00:15): No surprise there. (00:00:17): I've met so many f*****g amazing people there, (00:00:19): but I'm really excited because I'm pretty fired up about this podcast episode. (00:00:23): And if you've been listening, you know, it's been a little bit of a struggle for me lately. (00:00:27): So (00:00:28): Thank you so much for like constantly like re-interacting with me, Amber. (00:00:32): I really, I need people like you in my life. (00:00:36): And then people are like, oh, I didn't mean to bother you. (00:00:37): I was like, no, I need you to bother me. (00:00:40): Otherwise I forget things. (00:00:42): So without further ado, here is Ms. (00:00:45): Amber Cliphouse. (00:00:46): Please, please introduce yourself to my wonderful listeners. (00:00:50): Hi, thanks so much for having me. (00:00:52): Like you said, my name is Amber Cliphouse. (00:00:54): And I recently wrote my first book. (00:00:58): It's called Clean Start. (00:00:59): And it's basically a teen mom's journey from suicide survivor to real estate investor. (00:01:04): Obviously, I'm not a teen mom anymore. (00:01:07): But it's been a long, long road with lots of, you know, healing along the way. (00:01:12): And this book has just been such a healing process. (00:01:14): And I would love to share it with the world. (00:01:17): That's like awesome. (00:01:19): And I completely understand while our situations were very different, (00:01:25): you talking about, you know, writing the book and all that being a healing process. (00:01:28): That's so true as gut wrenching as it is at times. (00:01:33): I mean, I can imagine for you writing certain certain about certain things was really difficult. (00:01:39): So, A, I appreciate that you did that. (00:01:42): You know, (00:01:42): you're really doing an awesome thing for people out there, (00:01:45): especially for there's a lot of girls who are just like you, (00:01:51): who are just like you, (00:01:52): who (00:01:53): will probably end up in those same shoes and so instead of feeling the way you felt (00:02:00): now they have someone to like look up to and be like okay i don't need to be this (00:02:04): way so what what it was your favorite part about writing your book (00:02:13): honestly just learning myself I think when we go into survivor mode it's so go go (00:02:19): go like your brain doesn't even have time to process like everything you're (00:02:23): processing as weird as it sounds so I was able to like you know relive everything (00:02:27): and kind of like damn like you've really been through a lot and you're still here (00:02:32): to tell your story like you know exactly I'm so glad you're proud of yourself so (00:02:39): many people are like oh (00:02:41): it's fine it's no big deal no you went through some f*****g shit like yeah i mean (00:02:45): some really really hard things like i mean i read i'm like oh god who is that girl (00:02:49): that's crazy so i totally get that because literally this morning i was editing (00:02:56): going through the book for the you know bajillionth time and editing it and it's (00:03:01): like i don't like that seems so long ago (00:03:07): like and it really it was only six years ago six and a half whatever but it feels (00:03:13): so long ago yeah lifetimes literal lifetimes i don't even know who that girl is (00:03:19): anymore and there was such a girl yeah yeah it's crazy when you know you go through (00:03:25): tragedy and i mean we all go through things in different phases and you can never (00:03:28): compare (00:03:29): and contrast with the way you handle it. (00:03:30): But like, it really molds you to the person you are today. (00:03:33): You think you're never going to get through that moment. (00:03:35): And then like, you just somehow pick the pieces and you keep on going. (00:03:40): Exactly. (00:03:40): I feel like really it boils down. (00:03:45): There are two outcomes when people go through stuff like this, (00:03:50): either you pick yourself up and you keep going or you don't. (00:03:54): And those are really, (00:03:56): the only directions and i've seen it happen and like not keep going doesn't (00:04:02): necessarily mean that you are you know committing suicide but there are there are (00:04:07): choices that one could make you know to you know just become part of their (00:04:12): situation and just let it happen to them which i understand not everybody can (00:04:17): handle picking the up and walking away with it sure sure of course so but i i would (00:04:25): love to know (00:04:27): like how what was your breaking point what made you finally go this i need to fix (00:04:36): this like i need to undo all the like in the different phases because i know like (00:04:41): you've been in a few different like stages of your life and they all were (00:04:45): significant and all had large importance so like what was what were those last (00:04:51): straws for you (00:04:53): As far as like writing the book or just like big milestones in my life? (00:04:57): Big milestones in your life. (00:05:01): Like, you know, (00:05:04): I'm especially thinking about how you did a literal 180. (00:05:08): You know, you and your husband lost a ton of weight. (00:05:10): You guys stopped partying. (00:05:12): You guys became entrepreneurs and like all this stuff. (00:05:15): And I mean, it was just a complete flip around. (00:05:17): So, you know, I'm just curious, what was your final straw in that moment? (00:05:21): Like what made you decide, okay, we have to change? (00:05:24): So recently, (00:05:25): you know, (00:05:26): when you're an entrepreneur, (00:05:27): you have so much free time and everyone's like, (00:05:29): oh my God, (00:05:30): you're so lucky. (00:05:31): It must be nice. (00:05:31): But no, because then you're in your head 24 seven. (00:05:34): And that's a scary place to be. (00:05:36): Like, I don't care who you are. (00:05:37): It's scary. (00:05:38): Having super scary. (00:05:39): Yeah. (00:05:39): And like, people are like, oh my God, like, it's so nice. (00:05:42): Must be. (00:05:42): No, it's not. (00:05:43): It's really scary. (00:05:45): And you know, it's like mimosas because it's Monday and why not Wednesday? (00:05:49): And like, (00:05:50): It was always a reason to celebrate. (00:05:53): We bought another house. (00:05:54): Let's have a drink. (00:05:56): We don't have any bosses to check into. (00:05:59): It became a bad habit of just drinking and using it as a celebration. (00:06:04): That was like a crutch. (00:06:06): I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic, but it numbs you to what's really going on around you. (00:06:11): You're not able to feel the things. (00:06:14): when i decided i wanted to write my book i wanted to feel the things right it was (00:06:17): time to deal with everything the front cover is my seven-year-old self looking down (00:06:23): like a long hallway and it's just me and it's all these doors and the way i feel (00:06:29): how i started i opened up every single door by myself dealt with the demons inside (00:06:34): and shut it and i had to do that sober because i just had to have a clear (00:06:38): level head now there's nothing wrong with drinking like I'm not like I don't stick (00:06:42): my nose up to it it's just it's not for me you know like you want to drink good for (00:06:45): you like it saves me a ton of calories I don't feel like shit the next day and I (00:06:49): think clearly we have a lot of decisions that we have to make daily that are you (00:06:54): know we're responsible for a lot of people's lives being the business that we're in (00:06:57): so it just made sense to me and it was like a domino effect of (00:07:02): I wasn't drinking so I could go to the gym. (00:07:04): Again, I didn't feel like crap. (00:07:06): And then I was writing more and more because I was just clearer and clearer than I've ever been before. (00:07:11): And at the same time processing all the trauma, I was like, wow, it was like a hamster wheel. (00:07:16): I just could not stop. (00:07:18): Gosh, I relate to that so much. (00:07:22): We're in the middle of completely (00:07:26): detoxing ourselves from weed. (00:07:28): So it's a process. (00:07:30): It's going to take a while. (00:07:31): It takes forever to get out of your system. (00:07:32): But we finally were just like, okay, we, this, I'm not happy with how we are acting, how we are behaving. (00:07:40): And like you said, you know, for a long time I worked for myself. (00:07:44): So I just, and even when I worked for someone, you know, the last job I had, like, it wasn't a real job. (00:07:52): Sure. (00:07:53): Yeah. (00:07:54): I got paid to take care of this person's house. (00:07:57): Like it wasn't hard. (00:07:59): So, you know, I, and I would spend hours and hours. (00:08:04): I wasn't getting things done. (00:08:06): Wasn't reading books, (00:08:07): nothing like that because I was spending hours and hours smoking weed in the, (00:08:10): in the garage. (00:08:11): Like, and now both of us are working a lot. (00:08:15): And so we don't really want to spend our time, the little bit of time that we have, you know, (00:08:24): just smoking like that short like yeah because you're not present for your life (00:08:29): right like you feel like you're so present you're like you feel like you're so like (00:08:33): feeling all the feels but like you're really not like you're doing the opposite (00:08:36): literally that's exactly what's happening because oh man and it honestly has (00:08:43): started to cause like (00:08:44): issues for us like just in general day-to-day life you know it it will have (00:08:51): full-bl

56 min
10/22/2024

Lil Life Update

Get full access to The Chaos Chronicles with Taylor Cecelia Brook at taylorceceliabrook.substack.com/subscribe

18 min
10/08/2024

Okapi's 🦌, On Suffering Less 😭, and Divine Downloads 💫

You can find all things Colin on his Substack: Colin Durrant (00:00:00): Okay, awesome. (00:00:01): Dave, you have a bougie microphone set up over there. (00:00:08): I really like it. (00:00:09): Okay, and you've got animals as your background. (00:00:12): What are those? (00:00:13): Those aren't zebras. (00:00:15): It's an acappie. (00:00:17): So I've got an IT company and we rebranded a few years ago and we wanted to call it (00:00:23): something unique and different. (00:00:25): And also it's an endangered species. (00:00:27): So to highlight the fact it's endangered. (00:00:30): So we called it Okapi technology and yeah, it's all about the Okapi. (00:00:35): Yeah. (00:00:36): That's really cool. (00:00:38): That's super cool. (00:00:39): I just started asking questions right away. (00:00:42): On that note, we are back. (00:00:46): I'm Taylor Cecilia Brooke. (00:00:47): I'm here with Colin Durant from Colin's Chronicles, which I love that yours is Chronicles as well. (00:00:53): But we are joined here today by Colin. (00:00:58): Thank you so much for joining me. (00:01:01): Would you like to introduce yourself? (00:01:04): Ah, crumbs. (00:01:06): Yeah. (00:01:09): I don't even know where to start. (00:01:10): I do so many different things. (00:01:12): I've been running... Yeah, I kind of got two sides to me, I guess, my personal side and my business side. (00:01:18): So I've been running IT company for the last 25 odd years. (00:01:22): And I... (00:01:26): kind of like just a small little it company and i specialize in cyber security as (00:01:30): well and i've written a couple of books on cyber security um but i'm really trying (00:01:35): to evolve more into the into the i guess more into my authentic self and my true (00:01:42): self which is really helping people suffer less if if that's um kind of that's my (00:01:47): purpose really and um yeah i've been on quite a (00:01:51): journey in my life and been through a lot of kind of suffering, (00:01:55): I guess, (00:01:55): and depression and all the rest of it and discovered some work only a couple of (00:02:00): years ago, (00:02:01): which really changed everything for me and really made a huge difference. (00:02:05): So it's really just trying to help other people with that through the fact that (00:02:10): I've been through that and spent a long time going through that and then discovered (00:02:15): that actually there is a better way to life and a better way to live life and just (00:02:19): trying to help other people, (00:02:20): really. (00:02:22): I totally, I totally understand. (00:02:25): And for people who don't know, Colin and I know each other from Substack. (00:02:30): And I would say like, a good majority of your writing is very practical advice on just how to be happier. (00:02:41): And how not to be stuck in the miserable because it's so easy to get stuck there. (00:02:47): And I know you know that. (00:02:48): Yeah. (00:02:50): Yeah, it's very easy just to get just the grind, the daily grind and things. (00:02:55): And it's just really getting people to understand that they're in charge of their (00:02:59): life and they're responsible for what they've created in the past. (00:03:03): And when you understand that you're responsible for your past, (00:03:07): you can then go, (00:03:08): oh, (00:03:08): actually, (00:03:08): then that means I can create a better future for myself. (00:03:12): And then that makes all the difference in the world because then you're actually (00:03:16): creating your life on purpose rather than just trying to survive. (00:03:21): Oh, that's so true. (00:03:22): You hit the nail on the head with just trying to survive. (00:03:25): I think for a few years, that was me. (00:03:27): I was just trying to survive, trying to make it through to the next day. (00:03:33): And I was so miserable. (00:03:34): And I honestly thought that I was stuck. (00:03:37): I was going to feel this way for the rest of my life. (00:03:40): And so being able to pull out of that and know that like, (00:03:45): no, it doesn't have to be like this, you know, is amazing. (00:03:48): And I wish that I would have had, (00:03:52): you know, (00:03:52): all these people that I have found on Substack within the last six months, (00:03:56): I wish I would have had them like five years ago. (00:03:58): Yeah. (00:04:01): I think a lot of the stuff that I've gone through would have gone a little bit (00:04:03): differently had I found all these people, (00:04:05): because I don't know about you, (00:04:07): but the community aspect of Substack is so unique compared to any other online (00:04:12): community and platform that I've interacted with. (00:04:16): Yeah, it's nothing like anything else. (00:04:18): I just hope it stays that way and they don't sell it off to someone else or something like that. (00:04:23): But yeah, (00:04:24): I think like most people on Substack, (00:04:26): we stop spending time on other platforms because it's just not the same. (00:04:32): It's really, really not. (00:04:35): I have no desire to be on any other platform anymore. (00:04:40): And I always said I only stayed on social media for the nonprofit. (00:04:46): then once i closed it down i still had this blog um but i hated all the social (00:04:51): media aspects of it it's just so fake and obnoxious and just there's so many things (00:04:58): that you have to do just for someone to like pay attention to you and that's just (00:05:02): not my jam so i i do still have a facebook but solely for marketplace because you (00:05:09): can't go on there without a profile (00:05:11): Yeah. (00:05:13): Yeah, I find with Substack that you're building something, aren't you? (00:05:17): So, you know, you're building your subscribers and that sort of thing. (00:05:20): So you're definitely building something as opposed to like with Facebook and Instagram, (00:05:26): you're not really building anything, (00:05:28): you know. (00:05:29): No, and that's the thing. (00:05:31): And it was a little bit different in the nonprofit space. (00:05:34): It was a little bit easier, but not really. (00:05:36): It's almost like you are building something. (00:05:40): You're trying to build a following so you can get people to pay you, essentially, to donate to you. (00:05:46): But it's so hard. (00:05:49): And the ways that influencers and stuff, the techniques that they use don't work for nonprofits. (00:05:58): So that was something that I had to really learn and develop and was not expecting (00:06:02): and have no formal education. (00:06:06): I'm sure I'm sure you kind of run into that probably unless you have like someone (00:06:10): who does your marketing for your business. (00:06:16): Like, (00:06:16): honestly, (00:06:16): like I've been on LinkedIn for so long and I've spent so much time on there, (00:06:22): like trying to build it up and trying to do posts and that sort of thing. (00:06:26): and just get nothing back and it's just it just feels like a room full of (00:06:30): everyone's like just trying to sell you they just email you like yeah you know i (00:06:34): want to introduce you to my company it's like i don't care about you or your (00:06:37): company like you've never liked any of my posts you've never commented on anything (00:06:42): like you you're literally like there's no difference to pick up the phone and (00:06:46): trying to sell to me is it's just you know literally (00:06:50): So, yeah, I really started hating LinkedIn more and more. (00:06:55): And I put links to my articles from Substack, but that's all I do now. (00:07:02): And I have some automated stuff, but I just, yeah, I just have no interest. (00:07:07): And I stopped reading my messages as well because they're just people trying to sell me something. (00:07:11): Oh, yeah. (00:07:13): And then they taste you like, oh, just in case you missed it. (00:07:16): It's like, no, I deliberately missed it. (00:07:20): Deliberately missed it. (00:07:22): Your message is really boring. (00:07:23): No, I deliberately missed it. (00:07:29): Yeah, it's just filled with people who are just not operating at their highest self. (00:07:33): And that's what I'm all about. (00:07:34): I'm all about trying to get people to operate at a higher level. (00:07:38): And LinkedIn just represents people that I don't want to be around in general. (00:07:45): You can't say every person, but in general. (00:07:48): Yeah, I totally get that. (00:07:50): It's funny because my dad... (00:07:53): it has like this weird relationship with LinkedIn. (00:07:55): He only goes on it when he's ready to get a new job. (00:07:58): I think that you know, there's like better ways. (00:08:07): He's like, Yeah, but this works for me. (00:08:11): And then I don't have to do it the real way. (00:08:13): And (00:08:14): Like, okay, old man, sure, whatever. (00:08:17): You do you. (00:08:21): So you have this masterclass coming up, right? (00:08:25): Yeah, yeah. (00:08:26): So I'm working on a couple of things. (00:08:29): One of them is my book. (00:08:31): So I've got a lot of content for another book. (00:08:33): Well, two books, actually, because someone else mentioned. (00:08:36): Because I do a lot of, like, ancient stories. (00:08:39): I love them so much. (00:08:41): Yeah, so Janet Koch, she said, oh, well, you should just create a book with all your ancient stories. (00:08:47): And I was like, oh, gosh, that's like ready-made. (00:08:49): I can just do that straight away. (00:08:51): That's literally what Kara Allwell does, so you should definitely do that. (00:08:54): Yeah, so that just involves me pulling my finger on actually doing it. (00:08:59): Yeah, yeah. (00:09:01): And then I've got – and then I want to do another book, (00:09:02): which is really just about my – I guess just about my journey and then just about – (00:09:09): Yeah, just putting a lot of what I write about anyway into there. (00:09:12): So aga

1h 19m
10/01/2024

Forgotten Frozen Sperm 🐳, Detailing the Crazy 😵‍💫, and Silly American Curiosities 🤔

AHHH This one was so fun! Had a few technical difficulties buttttt I got it out! I do truly hope you enjoy our silly little convo!!! You can find all things AJP and Alexander J. Porter TTFN! (00:00:04): And we are back. (00:00:06): This is Taylor with the Curiosity Chronicles. (00:00:09): And today I have the pleasure of having a chat with Alexander J. (00:00:15): Porter over at New World Porter on Substack. (00:00:18): Welcome, Alexander. (00:00:20): Thank you so much. (00:00:21): I watched 150 hours of Joe Rogan to prepare for this, to get in the podcast. (00:00:27): I know the controversy sells. (00:00:28): I've come with all my controversial opinions. (00:00:31): Let's cause some trouble. (00:00:33): Oh my gosh. (00:00:34): I didn't even think that you would say controversy differently, (00:00:37): but that was like, (00:00:38): that's what tripped my brain out of all of that. (00:00:40): So I was Australian or yes. (00:00:44): Well, no, you are. (00:00:45): But, and I knew that just the way some of the words are just different, you know? (00:00:50): Well, what do you say? (00:00:51): Controversial controversy. (00:00:54): The first one. (00:00:56): Controversial. (00:00:58): Yes, I brought them all. (00:00:59): But yeah, thank you for having me. (00:01:00): Yeah, absolutely. (00:01:02): Absolutely. (00:01:02): So for just our listeners, (00:01:05): people who are not on Substack and would have no clue who you are, (00:01:10): they just walked up to you on the street for the first time. (00:01:13): How would you tell them who you are and like your little quote unquote elevator pitch? (00:01:20): Right. (00:01:20): If someone comes up to me on the street and speaks to me, I'm gone. (00:01:22): I'm out of there. (00:01:22): I don't want to speak to Australians. (00:01:24): But if forced to, yeah, I'm Australian. (00:01:28): I'm from, I guess you call the bush originally. (00:01:31): I live in a big city now. (00:01:33): I live in Sydney. (00:01:34): Really, my identity comes down to being a cancer survivor. (00:01:36): I had leukemia when I was 20. (00:01:38): And that kind of became the fulcrum upon which my life operated. (00:01:41): There was a sort of BC before cancer and AC after cancer, I suppose you'd say. (00:01:44): So, yeah, I'm a leukemia survivor with a bunch of tattoos. (00:01:49): And I'm just trying to spread my perspective to help some other people around the (00:01:54): world who might be going through their own challenges, (00:01:56): whether that's cancer or anything else in life that's tough. (00:01:59): And, you know, I love that. (00:02:02): And I am so, (00:02:03): you know, (00:02:04): obviously that it's amazing that you've been in remission for 14, (00:02:07): 15, (00:02:07): 14, (00:02:07): 15 years or something like that. (00:02:11): I was like trying to remember pulling that number out of my brain. (00:02:15): um which is amazing um so what is so you provide you know a space for people to (00:02:23): come and just feel less alone whether it's through their own cancer journey or (00:02:29): other crazy life things you know like what drew me to you is your humor like the (00:02:34): way you write a story is unlike anyone else it's (00:02:38): Very different. (00:02:38): And I really enjoy it because somehow you manage to combine seriousness with like (00:02:44): this absolute absurd humor. (00:02:46): And like, that's impressive to me. (00:02:51): thank you i mean i it it came from once i got out of the cancer space once i went (00:02:56): into remission and went through all the tough times i remember doing a like a sort (00:02:59): of youtube video someone invited me along was a bunch of cancer survivors and they (00:03:02): were like tell us about your experience blah blah blah we'll cut it together we'll (00:03:05): send you the video and i kind of you know describe what was good what was bad you (00:03:09): know the nurses were really nice the food was bad just some sort of how i saw it (00:03:13): and when the video was cut together everyone else's story was so sad (00:03:18): which makes sense no one's going to cancel but once i got out i was like that's my (00:03:24): experience was but i'm not particularly sad about it like life is hard and it's (00:03:28): your choice on the other side of the hard stuff really if you want to pursue (00:03:32): happiness or sit in a little despair hole so i just kind of moved in that direction (00:03:36): i wanted people to know like yeah like bad will happen but what happens on the (00:03:40): other side is really up to you (00:03:43): I love that. (00:03:44): And it's so true because I've seen, (00:03:46): and I'm sure you've seen the people who just sit there and just like allow life to (00:03:51): happen around them and they don't, (00:03:53): nothing changes and they just continue to sit in that type of grief. (00:03:58): And my heart breaks for those people because they're not getting to do anything in life. (00:04:02): And like life is such a gift. (00:04:06): It's so short and so precious that it just seems so silly to not, you know, (00:04:13): not go live it but it's easy to do you know it is easy to just it's it's not it's (00:04:19): not a you know a natural thing to pull yourself out of one of those holes no one (00:04:22): grows up thinking they're going to get you know smacked in the nuts by life but if (00:04:26): you can find a way if you can find support systems or just pull yourself out a (00:04:30): little bit at a time there's just so much magic on the other side but it is it's (00:04:34): very easy to sit in those holes uh because it's comfortable and um (00:04:38): That's really what my message is about. (00:04:41): What you've gone through sucks, (00:04:42): but I guarantee there's magic on the other side if you're willing to look for it. (00:04:46): Yeah, (00:04:46): and that's such an awesome message, (00:04:48): especially for young teenage boys who are going through the same thing. (00:04:54): I was talking to another Substacker on Wednesday about their openness about their gender identity and (00:05:02): You know, (00:05:02): I think that's one of the really cool things about Substack is all the kids who (00:05:06): were us who would have needed this information now have it because the Internet's (00:05:12): going to pull that stuff up. (00:05:13): And that's just so cool because I mean, (00:05:16): I don't know about you, (00:05:16): but I would have loved to have someone be like, (00:05:19): hey, (00:05:19): this this is going to happen a little bit, (00:05:21): but it's going to be OK. (00:05:22): Like, you know, X, Y and Z. (00:05:24): I mean, you're literally describing a great reason of why I got into online writing. (00:05:29): I've been doing it for sort of 10 plus years now. (00:05:31): So I was 20 when I was diagnosed with leukemia. (00:05:34): So only up to 18 is in the children's hospital. (00:05:36): So I was sent to an adult ward and there was 65 year old blokes and 70 year old blokes. (00:05:41): everyone was so old and I was so isolated but there was no no one told me as a (00:05:47): young man what to expect on the on the first day a doctor was like oh you might (00:05:50): want to think about freezing your sperm because this this chemo is going to be (00:05:53): brutal and then no one brought it up again for the rest of my cancer experience and (00:05:57): I was like it would have been nice like if someone had expanded on that that's kind (00:06:03): of though they just like dropped it in there and then left (00:06:06): Yeah, (00:06:06): I remember the first day a doctor was like, (00:06:09): when we give you the chemo, (00:06:09): you're either going to get crazy diarrhea or super constipated. (00:06:12): And we're not sure which. (00:06:13): And I was like, f**k yeah, sounds good, man. (00:06:15): Lucky you, appreciate it. (00:06:17): Turns out it was both, who knew? (00:06:19): Oh yeah, that's just the best f*****g combination right there. (00:06:24): To move away from diarrhea, as we always should, to go back to your point. (00:06:28): Yeah, (00:06:28): that's a big part of why I wanted to write because there was no user manual for (00:06:32): young adult men going through cancer. (00:06:34): So that's eventually, I'd like to, like all of us, we all want to write a book. (00:06:37): I'd like to write a user guide for young adult men that you go, f**k, this is the worst thing ever. (00:06:43): But look, here's someone 15 years later who's living their best life. (00:06:46): Here's what's going to happen. (00:06:47): Here's what's not going to happen. (00:06:48): So yeah, I'm with you on that. (00:06:50): Yeah, that'd be a brilliant book. (00:06:52): It would sell so well. (00:06:54): Like user's guide for young adult men. (00:06:58): I haven't put a couple of chuckles in there because cancer is so bloody serious and dull and boring. (00:07:03): So yeah, if I can make someone see that, you know, it's not all doom and gloom, then that's a win. (00:07:08): yeah i mean and that's why i picked the title did your kid die too because that's (00:07:13): how i feel yeah i'm like did your kid die too i want to know like are you like me (00:07:17): do you have this problem are you constantly sitting with these emotions that you (00:07:22): have nowhere to put yeah yeah we're very aligned in that way like it's not not (00:07:26): everyone can sort of put their their trauma if you will for lack of a better word (00:07:29): like out in the world like that because it's painful to be vulnerable but it's it (00:07:33): can be so meaningful for someone else so it's worth that pain so yeah (00:07:37): Yeah, (00:07:37): the amount of moms that have messaged me saying that me putting my story about Lily (00:07:46): out there gave them the courage to put their story about their own loss. (00:07:50): And so many, (00:07:51): which is kind of tragic, (00:07:53): but so many bereaved moms are coming out of the

55 min
09/24/2024

Queer Safe Spaces, Being Our Most Authentic Selves, and Boomer Americanism.

You can find everything about Andrew here :) 💖 snowflakeangelbutterfly 💖 (00:00:03): And we are back. (00:00:05): This is Taylor with the Curiosity Chronicles. (00:00:09): And I am here today with a wonderful, wonderful human. (00:00:14): I have Andrew on the podcast today from Substack. (00:00:20): And your Substack is great. (00:00:23): Is it Sparkle Angel Butterfly or Angel Sparkle Butterfly? (00:00:25): No, it's like Angel Butterfly. (00:00:27): No, it's like Angel Butterfly. (00:00:28): There we go. (00:00:29): I was like, I had it memorized at one point. (00:00:32): It was like this first string of words that came to me. (00:00:35): You know what, though? (00:00:37): I f*****g love that. (00:00:38): My Substack has had like five different names at this point. (00:00:44): So, (00:00:44): Andrew, (00:00:45): I would love if you would tell our listeners just a little bit about you and how you, (00:00:52): like, (00:00:53): got to know me, (00:00:53): how you found me, (00:00:54): how you met me, (00:00:55): and just, (00:00:55): like, (00:00:56): what your purpose of your Substack is for those non-Substack users out there. (00:01:00): Okay, great. (00:01:02): Yeah, my name's Andrew. (00:01:03): As we said, I have a Substack Snowflake Angel Butterfly. (00:01:07): I started it beginning of August. (00:01:11): And yeah, (00:01:11): I basically started it because in July I came out as non-binary and I'd already (00:01:18): come out as bisexual, (00:01:19): but everyone was like still assuming that I was straight and like referring me as (00:01:23): straight and stuff. (00:01:24): I was like, I need to like come out, you know? (00:01:29): like i'm finding myself in these situations where i'm like trying to express you (00:01:34): know it's like i would just mention you know i was kind of constantly surrounded by (00:01:37): these like super cis heteronormative men and i would just mention that i had read (00:01:42): some novel by emily henry or something and they'd look at me like i was just a (00:01:47): freak but the problem was it wasn't just emily henry it was like all these things (00:01:51): that i was constantly not allowed to mention without people being like alarmed (00:01:56): um and yeah i wasn't just that so many things obviously over like the course of a (00:02:00): few years like actually the post that i wrote that really describes like a lot of (00:02:05): how i came to this transformation was last night and it's called uh phoebe bridgers (00:02:10): and the music that blossomed my queerness and i really feel like music was so (00:02:14): essential but either way (00:02:16): At the end of July, (00:02:17): people were telling me like, (00:02:18): you know, (00:02:19): you're mentally ill, (00:02:21): you're spending too much time on the internet. (00:02:24): And my friend who, this guy like, who had claimed to be my best friend for like 17 years. (00:02:32): And I think he's like a bizarre case study of a man because literally like we read (00:02:37): tarot together, (00:02:38): we watched Buffy together, (00:02:39): we had matching Buffy shirts, (00:02:40): we went to see Haim, (00:02:41): we went to see Phoebe. (00:02:43): Um, that's not even, that doesn't even do justice to the list of things we did together. (00:02:48): And then as soon as I just want to buy like a pink boy genius shirt, (00:02:51): he's just like, (00:02:52): dude, (00:02:52): you cannot do that. (00:02:53): You cannot do that. (00:02:54): So I just needed to express myself and that angel butterfly emerged. (00:02:59): I was so sick of people telling me that I was faking or that I wasn't being me. (00:03:04): And I just started this blog. (00:03:06): The blog has in some ways made things worse. (00:03:08): Like a lot of people are like really freaked out. (00:03:10): They. (00:03:12): Like these men who are like online, (00:03:13): like sharing memes about how their entire emotional state is determined by college football. (00:03:19): Oh my goodness, that's so annoying. (00:03:21): Saying that I need to be like institutionalized because I'm wearing bracelets or whatever. (00:03:25): So I just find it so absurd. (00:03:27): But yeah, that's basically the story behind my blog. (00:03:31): Well, (00:03:32): hey, (00:03:33): I am not only proud of you for starting this journey, (00:03:37): but for doing it in such a vulnerable way. (00:03:39): You're really pioneering spaces for younger kids. (00:03:44): And that is really, you know... (00:03:47): really important because I think you know one of the things I really like about you (00:03:52): is just your whole look and your energy you know like to me you really embody what (00:03:58): like a non-binary person is really trying to express themselves as and I think a (00:04:04): lot of younger kids are really confused about how to where to even fit in all of (00:04:08): this and so just having people (00:04:11): That's why I love Substack is there's just so many different people out there. (00:04:14): And that is what we need. (00:04:17): You know, you needed a kid as a kid. (00:04:20): You needed, (00:04:21): you know, (00:04:22): a teenager, (00:04:22): an adult who could have shown you these things or at least given you a space to. (00:04:27): learn and read about them you know when i was in my 20s i would have killed for (00:04:33): someone who thinks about their body the way i do who you know has gone through the (00:04:37): trauma that i've gone through i would have killed to have someone just to lean on (00:04:42): or read simply to have a soulless and you're providing that and i really think (00:04:47): that's awesome thank you i really appreciate that i oh and i forgot to answer (00:04:52): before i build on that i forgot to say how i met you oh i feel like i have to (00:04:57): algorithm somehow like i feel like i don't even know who found his sub stack first (00:05:01): somebody commented on somebody's and we were messaging and yeah i read a bunch of (00:05:07): your posts like it starts like when you're like six five seven years old yeah (00:05:12): they're so terrible too literally sitting on the porch just like reading reading (00:05:18): your blog for like an hour like last the other saturday so (00:05:23): I enjoy it. (00:05:23): And like you also have struggled with a lot of the same kind of identity issues that I have. (00:05:28): So like you say, (00:05:29): like finding people on Substack, (00:05:30): like you're definitely also one of those writers that I'm so grateful to be able to add, (00:05:35): relate to. (00:05:36): So yeah, thank you. (00:05:37): That's like the sweetest f*****g compliment. (00:05:40): Thank you. (00:05:40): That's just all, that's all I want. (00:05:42): I want people to have a space where they can feel safe. (00:05:45): Like, you know, and their, their space might not be my space, but I want them to have a space. (00:05:52): So let me help you find that space wherever it is. (00:05:56): For sure. (00:05:57): Yeah. (00:05:58): You had also mentioned like kids out there. (00:06:00): And I think about like another post I wrote that, (00:06:05): this, (00:06:05): my choice at 16, (00:06:07): stop masturbating or burn in hell, (00:06:09): which basically like I, (00:06:11): it's honestly, (00:06:11): to me, (00:06:12): it's insane that I came to this point because I was raised like completely (00:06:16): fundamentalist Christian. (00:06:18): I thought I was going to go to hell for masturbating. (00:06:23): I cut out all my friends from my life because I thought they were like dragging me down into sin. (00:06:29): And I was just terrified all the time. (00:06:34): I just like honestly in the long run like it's being exposed to other people and (00:06:40): other ideas that helps me break out of that it takes a long time but I would say (00:06:45): like any kid out there who's like 16, (00:06:47): 15 who seems like they're just a hopeless lost cause like crazy conservative like (00:06:52): they're not that they're they can change and they can change I'm proof of it I've (00:06:59): changed and even my parents who (00:07:02): come across as really awful people in that post. (00:07:04): Like they're completely different now than they are in that post. (00:07:08): People can change. (00:07:09): I truly believe that. (00:07:10): It doesn't mean you have to let them be around you while they're dealing with their shit. (00:07:15): I'm really happy that I was able to share that experience. (00:07:19): I've been trying to write it for so long and I finally figured out how to write it. (00:07:24): And I'm so glad that like, there's maybe some kid out there who will read it and feel like, (00:07:30): maybe they'll just see the madness of like what they're being put through. (00:07:33): I don't know, you know, or it'll help them think through identity, you know? (00:07:37): Yeah. (00:07:38): No. (00:07:38): And I'm thinking you're you think you, you said, (00:07:41): know somehow maybe they'll find it and i'm thinking if you're using tags like (00:07:46): they're gonna find it if they're google searching something and you you know gender (00:07:51): queerness like questioning gender identity like anything like that that stuff will (00:07:55): start popping up because it's you know substack is getting bigger and bigger and (00:07:59): bigger and it's so it's ranking higher and higher in the google searches so like (00:08:04): those kids are gonna find you and it's just (00:08:07): Oh, I would have loved to have someone tell me that, you know, when I was like 18, 19. (00:08:14): Oh, by the way, just because you like girls does not mean you're going to go to hell. (00:08:19): Yeah. (00:08:20): Yeah. (00:08:21): I, it's amazing. (00:08:22): I mean, there's kids who are growing up all over the country. (00:08:25): Like single adult in their life is telling them they're going to go to hell. (00:08:30): I know. (00:08:30): Isn't it awful? (00:08:

55 min
09/17/2024

Soul Mama 👧, Barney Style 🐻‍❄️, and Marriage 👰🏻

You can learn all about Teri Leigh and her wonderful Substacks right here: Teri Leigh 💜 (00:00:03): And we are back on the Curiosity Chronicles. (00:00:07): I am your host, Taylor Cecilia Brooke. (00:00:09): And with me today, I have the most wonderful woman, Ms. (00:00:13): Terry Lee. (00:00:15): And she is someone I met on Substack and someone who is completely revolutionized the way I think. (00:00:21): Terry, would you like to introduce yourself? (00:00:24): Oh, I just got goosebumps. (00:00:26): Thank you. (00:00:30): My name is Terry Lee. (00:00:31): I am the mindfulness coach on Substack. (00:00:34): And I think I met you, Taylor, pretty early in my own journey on Substack. (00:00:39): Yeah. (00:00:40): Yeah. (00:00:43): Yeah, so I'm going to ask you a question right away. (00:00:46): Like, how have I revolutionized the way you think? (00:00:49): Oh, it's just the way you Barney style stuff. (00:00:54): Like, I don't know if you know what that means when I say that. (00:00:57): I don't. (00:00:58): Okay. (00:00:58): I'm too old. (00:00:59): It just means that you break it down on a really reachable level where everybody (00:01:06): understands what you're saying and can also connect to it because they've (00:01:09): experienced it. (00:01:11): And that's unusual. (00:01:13): And especially when you're talking about, like, the high-level stuff that you're talking about. (00:01:19): It's not just like, you know, all that kitten's cute. (00:01:22): Like, you know, we're going to adopt this dog today. (00:01:25): No, (00:01:25): I mean, (00:01:26): you're talking about chemicals and how our dendrites are changing and, (00:01:31): you know, (00:01:31): literally, (00:01:32): like, (00:01:33): all of that stuff. (00:01:34): But you make it easy for... (00:01:37): anybody to understand. (00:01:38): And I really like that. (00:01:39): So that's what I meant by revolutionize. (00:01:41): Cause there's been things where I've never been able to connect to them before and (00:01:46): then explain it in some way. (00:01:48): And I'm like, Oh, okay. (00:01:50): I totally get it now. (00:01:52): Cool. (00:01:53): You know, (00:01:54): one of my favorite quotes, (00:01:55): I think it's Einstein who says, (00:01:57): you don't really know it yourself unless you can explain it to a kindergartner. (00:02:01): And so that's my goal. (00:02:03): Although I don't go as young as kindergarten, I go more like fourth, fifth grade. (00:02:07): Well, that's okay. (00:02:08): Yeah. (00:02:09): Yeah. (00:02:09): I think that's probably a good level though, for like the general population. (00:02:14): Yeah. (00:02:16): So, so what was your purpose in starting your sub stack for people who are just podcast listeners? (00:02:25): Well, I have been writing since I was seven years old and I've had a newsletter since 1999. (00:02:31): Wow. (00:02:32): So Substack is just the evolution of that newsletter. (00:02:38): It's my latest platform to move it on to. (00:02:40): Like I've gone through all the different platforms. (00:02:42): And when I found Substack, I was like, this is home. (00:02:45): Oh, I love that. (00:02:47): I just feel so homey there. (00:02:49): And I did, I imported Substack. (00:02:52): 1,300 newsletter subscribers who have been following me for anywhere from 25 to 30 years. (00:02:58): That's so cool, though, that you have that many people who are still following you after this long. (00:03:06): That is dream goals, literally. (00:03:11): Yeah. (00:03:12): I think I posted on Substack just the other day. (00:03:14): I had a person reply to my email newsletter in email, and she invited me to Germany. (00:03:21): She's like, I've been following you since you started podcasting in 2008. (00:03:27): I listened to every single one of your, (00:03:29): I used to do yoga podcasts where I would record myself live teaching a live class (00:03:34): and I'd put it on podcast. (00:03:36): And so she said, I listened to every single one. (00:03:38): I burned them all onto CDs. (00:03:40): I have a box of CDs of all of your podcasts. (00:03:44): That's crazy. (00:03:46): In 2018. (00:03:47): So there's like 300 episodes of that, that she has. (00:03:51): And she's like, I feel like I know you because you tell stories and you talk about yourself. (00:03:56): And just like you said, Taylor, she, she talked about how I mix in like, (00:04:00): real practical advice and wisdom with stories of my own life and my own challenges (00:04:06): and make it practical in the human body. (00:04:09): And so she's like, please come visit me in Germany. (00:04:13): So I'm going to go to Germany someday. (00:04:16): That's so f*****g cool. (00:04:17): Like just, I, that's the kind of stuff that I can't wait to have happen because just (00:04:26): It's those kinds of connections, those kinds of impacts that I want to be able to make for other people. (00:04:32): And it's interesting that you brought that up because recently, (00:04:36): within the last month, (00:04:38): I've had quite a few private messages from people who are that person who's alone, (00:04:47): sitting on their couch, (00:04:48): scrolling TikTok. (00:04:48): Yeah. (00:04:50): And, (00:04:51): and they don't know, (00:04:51): they don't have anybody else to talk to about it because most of them, (00:04:54): their spouse follows them on Substack. (00:04:56): So they can't write about it there. (00:04:59): So they come to share with me and that's been so cool that I get to be a safe space (00:05:05): for those people because I would have loved to have someone to talk to just to get (00:05:11): it off my chest, (00:05:13): like carrying around that weight. (00:05:14): Like, you know, the choices that you're making and you know how, how (00:05:19): heavy they are. (00:05:20): Like, (00:05:21): you know what you're doing unless you're like truly, (00:05:24): truly stupid, (00:05:25): but I don't, (00:05:27): you know, (00:05:28): then there's other problems there. (00:05:32): But it, (00:05:34): so, (00:05:35): but yet you keep doing it and you carry that acknowledgement and that weight around (00:05:39): and having a place where you can have someone who you could share that with. (00:05:45): and they won't judge you or comment or really they'll just say, okay, what do you need right now? (00:05:50): Do you need a hug? (00:05:51): Do you need a shoulder? (00:05:52): Do you need a joke? (00:05:53): Do you need a distraction? (00:05:56): and oh my god so true like so many people try to fix it yes i fix it for you and (00:06:02): sometimes all you need is a hug sometimes you just need someone to dump all the (00:06:06): stuff on and yeah and they take that junk and they're like okay thank you i'll (00:06:09): throw it away for you yeah yeah i am so guilty of trying to fix things for for (00:06:15): devin because like my natural instinct is caretaker i'm a caretaker and (00:06:22): so something's not going right for him it's my job to take care of him and so i (00:06:28): want to fix it it's the same with the kids like there's times where i have to let (00:06:32): them fix it on their own and i'm just sitting there yes screaming on the inside but (00:06:40): so you've had this you've had a blog and a newsletter in some fashion for about 30 (00:06:46): years (00:06:48): I'd say close to that. (00:06:49): Yeah, I think the early years were very sporadic. (00:06:53): So it wasn't really consistent until probably 2005, 2008. (00:06:56): That's still so cool, though. (00:06:59): That's like a while ago, because in 2008, I was leaving middle school, going to high school. (00:07:07): So it's like, you know, now I'm 30. (00:07:10): Yeah. (00:07:14): but it seems like so long ago, but it's really not math wise. (00:07:18): Like in the span of a lifetime, it's really not that long ago, but that's super cool. (00:07:24): So how does this all tie into what you do to make a living? (00:07:34): Well, most of my income comes from working one-on-one with clients. (00:07:38): So those clients that have been following me for years, um, (00:07:41): Usually, (00:07:42): I'd say six or seven times a year, (00:07:45): I get an email from one of them saying, (00:07:47): OK, (00:07:48): I'm ready to work with you now. (00:07:51): Could be someone who found me 10 years ago. (00:07:54): It could be somebody who knows somebody who found me 20 years ago. (00:07:59): Like the most recent one was the best friend of a woman who went through yoga (00:08:03): teacher training with me 15 years ago. (00:08:05): Oh, that's cool. (00:08:06): And then what I do is I work, I am a mindfulness coach. (00:08:10): So they work with me one-on-one, mostly through Zoom, but sometimes in some face-to-face sessions. (00:08:17): I work on a very... (00:08:20): energetic, spiritual, and practical physical perspective. (00:08:24): So I'm not one of those psychic woo-woo people, (00:08:27): but a lot of people think I am because I studied with an African shaman for six years. (00:08:32): I saw that. (00:08:33): I remember seeing some things and I just thought that was the coolest thing ever. (00:08:36): Yeah. (00:08:38): So I do, like if people do need some deeper spiritual work, I will do deep shaman ritual. (00:08:46): Most of that is like working with elements. (00:08:48): So (00:08:49): earth, water, fire, nature, mineral type stuff. (00:08:54): I'm also, speaking of the more woo-woo stuff, I do see and read auras and chakras. (00:09:02): That's so cool. (00:09:02): And so that's where I started my work, (00:09:04): probably back early 2000s, (00:09:07): where most of my clients would find me because they wanted a chakra reading. (00:09:10): That's so cool that you've been doing that for this whole time. (00:09:15): Yeah. (00:09:17): A pioneer, like literally a pioneer. (00:09:20): Let me tell you the fun story of like how I got started with that. (00:09:23): Like there's two pieces to it. (00:09:25): When I was 10 years old

59 min

Hi, I'm Taylor—writer, chaos creator and tamer, Master Unfucker, and your guide through the tangled web of life's beautiful messes. Join me while I write and talk about everything real & raw in my life and on a journey of empowerment, laughter, and maybe a little spice. taylorceceliabrook.substack.com

Creator

Taylor Cecelia Brook
Years Active

2024 - 2025
Episodes

25
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© Taylor Cecelia Brook
Show Website

The Curiosity Chronicles