The Evolved Caveman: Stress, Relationships, and Emotional Mastery for Men

Dr. John Schinnerer -The Evolved Caveman

The Evolved Caveman is a podcast for thoughtful, capable men who are successful on the outside—but feel more stressed, disconnected, or frustrated than they expect to be. If you’re dealing with chronic stress, relationship conflict, irritability, or a quiet sense that life shouldn’t be this hard, this podcast is for you. We focus on practical tools for stress management, emotional control, and communication—without therapy speak, fluff, or shaming. Hosted by Dr. John Schinnerer, each episode helps men understand what’s actually happening inside them so they can regulate stress, reduce conflict, communicate clearly, and feel more grounded in their relationships, work, and daily life. This is personal development for men who value clarity, effectiveness, and real-world application—because you can’t change what you can’t feel. The mission: Help capable men reduce stress, improve relationships, and master themselves—without therapy speak or b******t.Curious About How You Can Get More Connected?Find out more about the work Dr. John Schinnerer is doing at TheEvolvedCaveman.com; the work he does with high-functioning yet disconnected men at GuideToSelf.com, and the revolutionary couples work he does with his wife, Joree Rose, LMFT, at LoveIsntEnough.net. Sign up for his newsletter at GuideToSelf.com. Follow on Instagram at @TheEvolvedCaveman. 

  1. Why You Get Pissed When You’re Wrong (It’s Your Nervous System)

    4D AGO

    Why You Get Pissed When You’re Wrong (It’s Your Nervous System)

    You can’t change what you don’t feel. Ever notice how fast anger shows up the moment you realize you messed up? You cut someone off in traffic. You miss something obvious at work. Your partner calls you out—and suddenly you’re defensive, pissed, explaining, blaming, or shutting down. This episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast is about that moment—the split second when your body reacts before your character ever gets a vote. Here’s the uncomfortable truth most men were never taught: Those reactions aren’t a failure of willpower, maturity, or intelligence. They’re nervous system reflexes. In this episode, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down why being “wrong” often feels like a threat to survival, how your fight–flight–freeze–fawn responses hijack your behavior, and why “just calm down” has never worked (and never will). You’ll learn how shame disguises itself as anger, logic, withdrawal, or people-pleasing—and what’s actually happening inside your body when it does. This isn’t therapy-speak or pop psychology. It’s real-world, practical clarity for men who want self-mastery instead of self-judgment. Inside the episode:  - Why mistakes register as danger in the nervous system  - The 3 protective states that drive defensiveness, shutdown, and people-pleasing  - How to spot when you’re reacting from self-protection instead of choice  - What secure, grounded responses actually sound like in real life  - A simple, actionable reset practice you can use in the moment  - The golden rule: Regulate first. Repair second. Explain last (or never). If you care about your relationships, your leadership, or the kind of man you are under pressure, this episode is essential listening. Because emotional maturity isn’t about never screwing up. It’s about being able to tolerate being wrong—without attacking yourself or anyone else. Listen in. Sit with it. Notice your patterns this week—not to fix them, but to understand them. That’s where real change begins. Want a Higher Baseline of Calm, Confidence, and Control? Start Here… 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop. 🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in the San Francisco Bay Area: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast 👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing to heal relationships, visit their top couples counseling site:  👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Straight talk on evolution, masculinity & growth on the best podcast for men: 👉 TheEvolvedCaveman.com 🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation from the best therapist for women near you: 👉 JoreeRose.com

    21 min
  2. The Science of Sex & Desire: What Kinsey Research Reveals About Intimacy, Trust, and the “Sex Recession”

    JAN 25

    The Science of Sex & Desire: What Kinsey Research Reveals About Intimacy, Trust, and the “Sex Recession”

    What if most sexual shame isn’t personal failure—but bad information? In this episode, Dr. John talks with Dr. Justin Garcia, Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, about what the science actually says about desire, intimacy, fidelity, and pair-bonding. They unpack why “normal” is a misleading idea in sex, why many couples are touch-deprived, and how stress and low-level threat responses can shut down connection and arousal. You’ll also hear surprising research on men and heartbreak, what people truly want in long-term partners and what might be behind the so-called “sex recession.” The throughline: curiosity is a powerful aphrodisiac—and you’re not broken, you’re under-informed. Key topics covered (bullets): “Am I normal?” why the data says variation is the norm The “touch crisis” and why many partners feel touch-starved Men, romance, and why breakups can hit men harder Trust, kindness, and “self-expansion” as core mate preferences Stress, trauma, and the nervous system’s impact on desire The sex recession: is it real, is it bad, and what might be causing it Sexual literacy: why better information improves connection and consent Want To Learn More About Relational Happiness? Here’s Where To Start: 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop  🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in Silicon Valley: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast  👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing in couples counseling, visit their top couples counseling site:  👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Top 10 Podcast for Men looking to evolve with greater communication skills, grit, mental toughness and happiness: 👉 The Evolved Caveman Podcast 🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation (aka, the best therapist for women near you): 👉 JoreeRose.com 📸 For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who don’t want the next 20 years to be like the last 20, visit her site at  👉 MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com 💬 The top 10 podcast for women over 40: 🎙️ Journey Forward with Joree Rose Podcast

    50 min
  3. The Badass Practice of LovingKindness: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mental Health

    JAN 19

    The Badass Practice of LovingKindness: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Mental Health

    Most guys think lovingkindness meditation is soft, woo-woo, incense-burning nonsense. It’s not. It’s emotional strength training. In this episode of The Evolved Caveman Podcast, Dr. John Schinnerer breaks down why lovingkindness (aka metta) is one of the most underrated weapons a man can use to:• shut down the inner critic• lower anger and reactivity• increase self-worth• stay calm under pressure• stop carrying other people’s bullshit in your body No chanting.No mountaintops.No flowing robes. Just a few minutes a day to rewire your brain for resilience, steadiness, and control — backed by neuroscience and real-life application (including how I survived divorce court without losing my cool). If you’ve got:🔥 a short fuse🔥 a loud inner critic🔥 stress you don’t know how to drop🔥 relationships that trigger you This episode is for you. 🎧 Listen now 00:00 Introduction to the Evolved Caveman Podcast 00:16 Understanding Loving Kindness Meditation 00:57 Origins and Purpose of Loving Kindness 01:58 How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation 04:04 Scientific Benefits of Loving Kindness 06:20 Practical Applications of Loving Kindness 10:18 Overcoming Myths and Resistance 10:57 Conclusion and Challenge PODCAST LINKS FOR TRAILER: Want Greater Connection, Meaning and Happiness? Here’s Where To Begin: 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop. 🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in the San Francisco Bay Area: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast 👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing to heal relationships, visit their top couples counseling site:  👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Straight talk on evolution, masculinity & growth on the best podcast for men: 👉 TheEvolvedCaveman.com 🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation from the best therapist for women near you: 👉 JoreeRose.com 📸 For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who are stuck in their lives, visit her site at  👉 MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com   💬 The best podcast for women who seek to get unstuck in live and make the next 30 years better than the last 30: 🎙️ Journey Forward with Joree Rose Podcast

    13 min
  4. The 5 Realms of Self-Worth — Why Feeling “Enough” Changes Everything

    11/03/2025

    The 5 Realms of Self-Worth — Why Feeling “Enough” Changes Everything

    Self-worth is the operating system running your relationships, career, stress, sex life—even your biology. Update it and everything upgrades. Self-worth ≠ self-esteem. Dr. John maps 5 realms that shape love, success, health, and meaning—plus simple practices to feel enough now. Self-worth isn’t a warm fuzzy—it’s the master switch for how you love, lead, and live. In this episode, Dr. John breaks down The 5 Realms of Self-Worth — Inner, Relational, Achievement, Embodied, and Existential—and shows why chasing self-esteem (external approval) keeps you stuck while building self-worth (inherent value) sets you free. Expect science, stories, irreverence, and real-world practices men actually use. You’ll learn:  The clean split between self-esteem (weather) and self-worth (climate)  How self-worth changes your nervous system, not just your mood  Why achievement-based value leads to burnout—and what to do instead  Repair > defend: the 30-second reset that deepens connection  Two micro-practices that start rewiring “not enough” today Perfect for: high-performing men, partners who love them, and anyone tired of hustling for approval.  03:10 Self-esteem ≠ self-worth (and why that matters)  07:20 Realm 1—Inner: upgrading the voice in your head  14:05 Realm 2—Relational: love, boundaries, repair  20:40 Realm 3—Achievement: worth beyond output  27:15 Realm 4—Embodied: your body’s self-worth story  33:30 Realm 5—Existential: meaning, purpose, service  40:00 Close: one realm up, all realms rise If this hits home, share it with a guy who’s crushing goals but starving for “enoughness.” Connect Like An Evolved Caveman:  TheEvolvedCaveman.com  GuideToSelf.com

    19 min

  5. 10/27/2025

    Why Avoiding Difficult Conversations Is Wrecking Your Life

    Why Avoiding Difficult Conversations Is Wrecking Your Life In this episode of the Evolved Caveman podcast, Dr. John Schinnerer explores the psychology behind avoidance and how it impacts our lives. He discusses why our brains are wired to avoid discomfort and the detrimental effects that avoidance has on our relationships, mental health, and personal growth. He provides practical steps for overcoming avoidance, including developing self-awareness, confronting uncomfortable feelings, and learning to sit with discomfort. The episode wraps up with a challenge to listeners to tackle one thing they've been avoiding, emphasizing that real growth comes from facing issues head-on. 00:00 Introduction to the Evolved Caveman Podcast 00:21 Understanding Avoidance: The Root of the Problem 00:58 The Brain's Role in Avoidance 03:07 The Consequences of Avoidance 04:40 Childhood Scripts and False Control 06:32 Steps to Overcome Avoidance 08:53 Practical Tips for Facing Discomfort 10:27 Conclusion and Weekly Challenge Wanna Climb Higher Up The Happiness Hill ? Here’s Where To Begin Your Ascent: 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop  🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in Silicon Valley: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast  👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing in couples counseling, visit their top couples counseling site:  👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Top 10 Podcast for Men looking to evolve with greater communication skills, grit, mental toughness and happiness: 👉 The Evolved Caveman Podcast 🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation (aka, the best therapist for women near you): 👉 JoreeRose.com

    13 min
  6. Longevity Hacks: Why Some Guys Age Like Fine Wine—and Others Like Warm Milk

    09/29/2025

    Longevity Hacks: Why Some Guys Age Like Fine Wine—and Others Like Warm Milk

    Join Dr. John Schinnerer in this episode of the Evolved Caveman Podcast as he dives deep into the science behind aging and longevity. After a mind-blowing 40-year high school reunion, Dr. John explores why some people age gracefully while others, well, don’t. Learn about the role of telomeres, and discover practical, science-backed hacks to extend your health span, from meditation to exercise, stress management, and even testosterone replacement therapy. Plus, get a reality check on how your mindset about aging can literally shape your cellular health. If you're looking to age like a fine Napa cabernet rather than a gallon of milk left in a warm garage, this episode is a must-watch! 01:33 The Science of Telomeres 02:23 Dr. Alyssa Epel's Longevity Research 05:21 Proven Longevity Tools 07:39 Testosterone Replacement Therapy 10:59 Mindset and Aging 15:31 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Wanna Live Longer? Here’s Where To Begin: 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop  🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in Silicon Valley: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast  👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing in couples counseling, visit their top couples counseling site:  👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Top 10 Podcast for Men looking to evolve with greater communication skills, grit, mental toughness and happiness: 👉 The Evolved Caveman Podcast Please be sure to like, rate, review this episode on Apple Podcasts to help us get the word out. Our mission: to help men evolve, one man at a time.  Sharing this episode with someone else helps us to accomplish that.

    18 min
  7. How Men Can Navigate Modern Manhood

    09/22/2025

    How Men Can Navigate Modern Manhood

    How do we successfully show up as men in such a politically-charged environment? Join Dr. John as he dives into an eye-opening conversation with Laurence Johns, a seasoned men's work expert. Raised amidst the gritty streets of 1980’s East London, Laurence shares his tumultuous journey from success to addiction to near-bankruptcy, and the brotherhood that saved him. Now a key figure in The Mankind Project UK, and co-founder of Masculinity X, Laurence offers practical insights on modern masculinity, breaking destructive generational patterns, and finding a badass balance between strength and vulnerability. Tune in for a rollercoaster of laughs, deep revelations, and unconventional wisdom on building a fulfilling, emotionally-aware life for men. Wanna Honestly Look At Your Own Shit? Here’s Where To Begin Your Soul Search: 🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in Silicon Valley: 👉 GuideToSelf.com 💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life: 🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast  👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing in couples counseling, visit their top couples counseling site:  👉 LoveIsntEnough.net 🎙️ Top 10 Podcast for Men looking to evolve with greater communication skills, grit, mental toughness and happiness: 👉 The Evolved Caveman Podcast 😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop  🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation (aka, the best therapist for women near you): 👉 JoreeRose.com 📸 For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who don’t want the next 20 years to be like the last 20, visit her site at  👉 MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com

    1h 12m
  8. Have The Courage To Look At Your Own Shit

    09/11/2025

    Have The Courage To Look At Your Own Shit

    Loving Kindness and Radical Honesty: A Wish for the WorldIn this episode of the Evolved Caveman Podcast, Dr. John shares his profound wish for the world: that everyone develops the courage to face their own inner challenges with radical honesty. He emphasizes that true loving-kindness is not just about wishing others well but involves facing personal fears, shadows, and emotional struggles head-on. Dr. John discusses the destructive habits and psychological barriers that prevent individuals from taking accountability for their own actions and emotions. He invites listeners to turn inward, practice emotional maturity, and cultivate deeper, more loving relationships. Ultimately, his message is a call to action for self-improvement that starts from within and spreads outward, healing relationships and, eventually, the world. Listen in for practical advice, profound insights, and an inspiring message about the transformative power of self-awareness and emotional courage.Timestamps:01:12 The Importance of Facing Our Own Issues02:18 Cultural and Psychological Barriers03:48 The Power of Vulnerability and Accountability05:21 Practical Steps to Emotional Maturity07:33 The Universal Wish for Courage10:18 The Ripple Effect of Personal HealingPlease, please, please remember to like, rate, review and share. This helps us to spread the word further. Thank you ! Wanna Climb Higher Up The Happiness Hill ? Here’s Where To Begin Your Ascent:😡 For info on Dr. John's Ultimate Online Anger Management Class (which has over 20,000 graduates!), visit his High Performer Shop 🧠 Top tools for emotional mastery and high tech execs from the best executive coach in Silicon Valley:👉 GuideToSelf.com💬 The best podcast for relationships and those who want to create a happier, safer love life:🎙️ Love Isn’t Enough Podcast 👉 For the tremendous work Dr. John & Joree are doing in couples counseling, visit their top couples counseling site: 👉 LoveIsntEnough.net🎙️ Top 10 Podcast for Men looking to evolve with greater communication skills, grit, mental toughness and happiness:👉 The Evolved Caveman Podcast🌱 Joree’s expert work on mindfulness, therapy & transformation (aka, the best therapist for women near you):👉 JoreeRose.com📸 For more info on the superb counseling Joree is doing with women who don’t want the next 20 years to be like the last 20, visit her site at 👉 MindfulnessAndTherapyCenter.com💬 The top 10 podcast for women over 40:🎙️ Journey Forward with Joree Rose Podcast

    12 min
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4.8
out of 5
69 Ratings

About

The Evolved Caveman is a podcast for thoughtful, capable men who are successful on the outside—but feel more stressed, disconnected, or frustrated than they expect to be. If you’re dealing with chronic stress, relationship conflict, irritability, or a quiet sense that life shouldn’t be this hard, this podcast is for you. We focus on practical tools for stress management, emotional control, and communication—without therapy speak, fluff, or shaming. Hosted by Dr. John Schinnerer, each episode helps men understand what’s actually happening inside them so they can regulate stress, reduce conflict, communicate clearly, and feel more grounded in their relationships, work, and daily life. This is personal development for men who value clarity, effectiveness, and real-world application—because you can’t change what you can’t feel. The mission: Help capable men reduce stress, improve relationships, and master themselves—without therapy speak or b******t.Curious About How You Can Get More Connected?Find out more about the work Dr. John Schinnerer is doing at TheEvolvedCaveman.com; the work he does with high-functioning yet disconnected men at GuideToSelf.com, and the revolutionary couples work he does with his wife, Joree Rose, LMFT, at LoveIsntEnough.net. Sign up for his newsletter at GuideToSelf.com. Follow on Instagram at @TheEvolvedCaveman. 

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