The Exploring Introvert with Mariella Franker, PhD

Mariella Franker, PhD
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You’re in the right place if you’re an introvert who wants to use your strengths to make meaningful contributions to others and take better care of yourself. I'm Mariella: a molecular biologist, certified habit coach, business owner, parent, and introvert :-) Every first Thursday of the month, I share an update with my most eye-opening lessons. You’ll learn about important topics for introverts - like reducing tiredness, discovering what naturally motivates you, and strengthening relationships in a way that feels natural - from my experience and from other exploring introverts like you.

  1. 5 DE SET.

    090 Sept update: Live from Suriname

    Unexpected news this week. For this Sept update, I'm coming live to you from Suriname after hearing that my father is ill. When you're a cross-cultural introvert and you live abroad, these situations are tough.🧭 Sign up for Exploring Introvert newsletter: ⁠thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠ 📍 Visit my website: ⁠⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠ ⁠📧 Email me: ⁠contact@thefrankermessage.com⁠) 🔗 Find me on ⁠LinkedIn ⁠or ⁠Instagram⁠: @mariellafranker

    8min

  2. 3 DE JUL.

    089 July monthly update: finding my mission as an introvert coach

    In this intimate monthly update, I'm sharing the evolution of my coaching practice and this podcast as we head into summer. While I'll be taking a podcast break in August, I'm excited to continue working with clients and developing new programs that better serve our community of thoughtful explorers. Last month's Habit Building Basics taster sessions revealed how powerful it is when introverts build habits aligned with their natural energy patterns. We explored the fundamental differences in how introverts process information internally before sharing ideas with others, and how this understanding can transform our approach to creating sustainable habits. As an introvert myself, I'm currently in what I call the "connecting the dots phase" with my business - that nervous energy when you sense things coming together in your mind, but can't quite articulate them clearly yet. This reflective process takes time and can feel frustrating, but it's essential to honor this uniquely introvert way of processing and integrating information. After months of careful reflection, I've clarified my mission: I help cross-cultural introverts build sustainable habits so they can grow and find fulfillment in their careers without exhaustion or guilt about how they spend their time. My focus is now specifically on supporting introverts who navigate multiple cultural contexts - whether you're working in multicultural environments, have relocated internationally, or professionally engage with diverse cultures. I've worked with literature scientists amplifying marginalized voices, diplomats transitioning between countries, and academics adapting to new cultural settings. The habit-building approaches I teach are designed specifically for the introvert mind, recognizing our need for deeper processing time, meaningful connections, and sustainable energy management. By working with your Natural Advantage® rather than against it, you'll discover how to create lasting habits that support your growth without burnout. The podcast will return in September. In the meantime, you might see new content formats as I experiment with different ways to serve this community. Thank you for being part of this journey. Remember that as introverts, our strength lies not in forcing ourselves into extroverted systems, but in creating thoughtful practices that honor our unique processing style. Connect with me via email, Instagram, or LinkedIn before the next episode. Have a wonderful summer of exploration! #IntrovertHabits #CrossCulturalIntroverts #HabitBuilding 🧭 Sign up for Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠ 📍 Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com ⁠📧 Email me: [⁠contact@thefrankermessage.com⁠](mailto: contact@thefrankermessage.com) 🔗 Find me on LinkedIn or Instagram: @mariellafranker

    11min
  3. 088 Revisiting BASB by Tiago Forte (most popular episode)

    5 DE JUN.

    088 Revisiting BASB by Tiago Forte (most popular episode)

    Hi there, explorers! This month has been all about getting things ready for the Habit Building Basics Tasters that are happening next week. Most of my time working hours has been going towards that. You can sign up here: ⁠https://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics⁠ On a personal note, we're doing some small renovations and it's pretty messy in our home. Our son has a tent going on in the living room, he calls it his secret laboratory... My son and I are also participating in the five-kilometer, four-day walk (avond 4 daagse). It's a big thing in the Netherlands. 5 km is a lot for a little kid – it takes us about 2 hours. But it’s actually a lot of fun and the whole neighborhood comes out, people stand along the sidewalks to give candy to the kids and cheer you on. Today is the last night, wish us luck! Instead of our usual monthly update, we’re revisiting a previous episode this time. I’ve been talking to a lot of people about Building a Second Brain(BASB), the book by Tiago Forte. This is a topic that a lot of people are interested in. It's one of the most popular episodes of the Exploring Introvert, so this topic is definitely going to come back! Let’s revisit the previous episode where I tell you all about Tiago Forte’s system and maybe it can give you some ideas of how BASB could be helpful to you. ✅ Join Habit Building Basics: ⁠https://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics⁠ 📍Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠ 📧 Email me: ⁠contact@thefrankermessage.com⁠

    18min
  4. 087 Habit building for cross-cultural introverts (energy management that works) | Season 4

    8 DE MAI.

    087 Habit building for cross-cultural introverts (energy management that works) | Season 4

    ** If you found this podcast helpful, please share it with a friend! I'll be super grateful and your friend will be happy that you thought of them too 🤗 ** In today’s podcast episode we’re talking specifically about cross-cultural introverts. What’s a cross-cultural introvert? A cross-cultural introvert is an introvert who navigates multiple cultural. They’re people who move between cultures whether you’re working abroad or you’re bringing your multicultural perspective to your work or professional role. What’s unique for cross-cultural introverts is that you need to balance your natural introverted character with the demands of navigating multiple cultural contexts. When you’re “in between” cultures like that, it’s normal to feel a little out of place. A lot of introverts I know have a similar experience when it comes to being an introvert. You feel slightly out of place because, let’s face it, the world is still geared mostly towards extraverts, especially in Western cultures. A lot of introvert are told that they need to change themselves in order to be accepted, appreciated or successful. I've learned that actually the opposite it true. In this podcast episode you'll learn why and discover what actually works to manage your energy well and feel confident as an introvert, no matter how circumstances change. You’ll also learn about the taster sessions Habit Building Basics for cross-cultural introverts. 5 days, 5 topics, 15 minutes a day to help you rethink your habits and figure out what actually works. Sign up for Habit Building Basics here: http://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics --- 00:00 the Exploring Introvert monthly update 00:44 what's a cross-cultural introvert 02:23 when you’re not really a local (anymore) 03:37 feeling out of place (in between cultures and as an introvert) 04:08 what does this have to do with energy management? 05:09 why most traditional advice doesn't work 08:23 why you need personal pillar habits 10:04 What I've been up to this month 10:59 Habit Building Basics: 5-day taster for cross-cultural introverts 12:05 what exactly is a taster? 13:27 get a personal focus session worth €150,- for free 13:59 Habit Building Basics: 5 days, 5 topics, 15 minutes a day 15:26 recap of the main take aways --- Sign up for Habit Building Basics: http://go.thefrankermessage.com/welcometobacktobasics Related episodes: 🎦 010 Are you a "low energy person”? 🎦 054 Introverts lack discipline and have no energy...? ⭐ Follow the podcast: Exploring Introvert with Mariella Franker, PhD ⭐ Contact me: contact@thefrankermessage.com⁠⁠ ⭐ Visit my website: ⁠⁠thefrankermessage.com

    17min
  5. 086 From reels to real life: how breaking one bad habit gave me back 6 hours a day

    3 DE ABR.

    086 From reels to real life: how breaking one bad habit gave me back 6 hours a day

    Breaking a Bad Habit: An Introvert's Journey from Social Media Exhaustion to Mindful Language Learning Ever found yourself doom scrolling through social media when you're exhausted, only to feel more drained afterward? As an introvert and certified habit coach, I discovered one day that I was spent 6 hours on Instagram reels. It was a wake up call! What started as a way to "relax" turned into a vicious cycle of exhaustion and procrastination. In this video, I'll share my personal experience and the science behind breaking a bad habit. You'll learn: Why the 21-day habit building rule is actually a myth (but can still be useful!)How to use the science of habit loops to transform your habitsA practical example of how I replaced social media doom scrolling with more productive activitiesWhy consistency matters less than you might think If you're an introvert struggling with energy management and finding yourself caught in unhealthy habits, this video will show you how you can start to change that. Plus, discover how I went from 6 hours of reels to learning Spanish, getting better sleep, and feeling more accomplished at the end of each day. This isn't just about breaking a bad habit - it's about creating sustainable changes that work with your energy needs as an introvert. Subscribe for more insights on habit building, energy management, and productivity strategies specifically designed for introverts. --- 00:00 This month I dove into habit formation and breaking a bad habit 00:43 My experiment to stop doom scrolling on IG reels 01:41 When relaxation turns into a bad habit 02:53 Truths and myths: How long before a habit become automatic and how important is consistency really? 03:15 Three elements of habit building: CUE - BEHAVIOR - REWARD 04:30 What’s the 21-day rul? 07:30 You don't need to repeat a habit every day for it to be effective 07:49 Even though it's a myth, the 21-day rule can still be useful 09:07 How important is it to be consistent? 10:47 breaking a bad habit: replacing doom scrolling with language learning 14:03 What can you learn about habit building from this? --- 🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert Letters: https://go.thefrankermessage.com/subscribe 📍 Visit my website: ⁠https://www.thefrankermessage.com/ ⁠🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker

    16min
  6. 085 | Too busy and tired? 4 habits to stay sane | Season 4

    6 DE MAR.

    085 | Too busy and tired? 4 habits to stay sane | Season 4

    Too busy or too tired? Here are 4 habits to stay sane.Here’s a question that I get all the time: what habits do you focus on when things are really hectic and you have no time?This month has been just that, so I thought I’d take you on a walk today and we can talk about it. What has made this month so hectic is that I’ve taken on a project that I knew from the start was going to be a difficult project. It involves a lot of different people and there’s a lot of emotions and even some conflicts. I decided to take it on because I know that I’m the right person to help right now. But it’s a difficult situation and I knew really early on that this project was going to take a lot out of me. Now, if you’re working in a team or organization, you may not always be able to pick your projects. So maybe you’ve been in a similar situation where you have a project where you immediately know that it’s going to be hard. What can you do to still do a good job and keep your sanity at the same time?Come with me on my walk today and we’ll talk about 4 habits to keep your sanity in hectic times.00:00 Habits for hectic times00:49 Tricky project this month01:34 4 habits to keep your sanity with a difficult project02:19 Accepting that it's going to cost more energy03:18 Habit #1: how to set boundaries05:05 Habit #2 & #3: process and recharge07:07 Habit #4 Peace of mind habits09:17 Focus on what's most meaningful---🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠📍 Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker

    11min

  7. 6 DE FEV.

    084 | Knowing how to pace yourself is an undervalued skill, especially for introverts | Season 4

    January was a hectic month for 3 reasons: 1) My partner moved his gym to a new location, 2) We started the year off with a very sick little boy, 3) I worked on aligning The Exploring Introvert. Despite needing to clear my schedule for part of the month to care for our kid and to manage logistics at home with the gym move, I made good progress. The new home page of my website is out (have a look here) And you can now find The Exploring Introvert on all my social channels. Although I’m only active on LinkedIn at the moment, I aligned all my socials to make them consistent. Of course, I’ll still be tweaking things here and there (I love to tweak things) the ‘red thread’ is there and I love seeing it all come together! Despite making good progress under the circumstances, my inner critic did flare up. Criticizing everything from my parenting choices to my work attitude. “Shouldn’t you take your kid to the hospital? Why are you even working? You should be here 100% for your child. You’re such a bad mother.” “Why didn’t you get more done for work this week? Yes, your child is sick but you’re a business owner and you should be getting after it.” “Look at that post, that person is doing so much better than you. I knew it, you’re never going to make this business work.” Have you noticed that when you’re especially tired, the inner critic becomes louder? The inner critic can get downright nasty. Comparing you to others and pointing out all the tiny mistakes that you’re making. Like a bully blasting an annoying song on repeat. The critic can hold on to old patterns (one of mine is to forgo rest and to give everything that I have, only to run on empty). The critic can suck up the little energy that you have left. It will try to push you to do things that make sense on paper but that typically take you farther away from what you really need. Proper mental rest. That’s why I believe that knowing how to pace yourself is an undervalued skill, especially for introverts. Learn more in this month’s update. --- 00:00 My biggest lesson this month: knowing how to pace yourself is an undervalued skill 01:18 Moving my partner's gym 03:01 Combining family and career 05:42 Further aligning 🧭 The Exploring Introvert 07:38 Building a support network as an entrepreneur 08:54 Learning to pace myself 11:04 “If you only have 40% and you gave 40%, then you gave 100%” - Jim Kwik 11:40 If you’re an introvert with a strong inner critic --- 🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠ 📍 Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠ 🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker ---

    13min
  8. 083 | What taking on too much last month taught me about what to keep and what to let go | Season 4

    2 DE JAN.

    083 | What taking on too much last month taught me about what to keep and what to let go | Season 4

    Between the busy-ness of the Christmas Holidays, my partner getting injured and a big (first time) project for my business, this one is full of ups and downs. In this podcast, I tell you about what has been happening behind the scenes in my business, why I was absent from the podcast for 3 months and the lessons I’ve learned. You’ll also learn how you can get exclusive behind the scenes access to how I organize things in my daily life as a work-from home mom, business owner and fellow introvert. --- 00:00 This month’s update 00:17 Christmas busy-ness 01:37 A business that runs without me 03:37 Setting up The Exploring Introvert 04:03 World Introvert Day 05:15 Behind the scenes 08:12 Community 08:56 This month's lessons 10:15 Get exclusive insider access 11:10 What to keep and what to let go --- ✨ Sign up for the exclusive insider series: go.thefrankermessage.com/insider 🧭 Sign up for The Exploring Introvert newsletter: thefrankermessage.com/subscribe⁠⁠ 📍 Visit my website: ⁠thefrankermessage.com⁠ 🔗 Follow me on LinkedIn @mariellafranker --- I choose the resources below out of my own interest and I share them with you to give you context. I’m not affiliated with anyone mentioned in this podcast episode. 📖 https://www.introvert.day/

    12min
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You’re in the right place if you’re an introvert who wants to use your strengths to make meaningful contributions to others and take better care of yourself. I'm Mariella: a molecular biologist, certified habit coach, business owner, parent, and introvert :-) Every first Thursday of the month, I share an update with my most eye-opening lessons. You’ll learn about important topics for introverts - like reducing tiredness, discovering what naturally motivates you, and strengthening relationships in a way that feels natural - from my experience and from other exploring introverts like you.

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