The Faint Wick Melissa Strickland

What happens when a control freak has to face the fact that the world doesn't always go exactly the way she wants it? Anger with a capital A. Anyone else with me on this one?

I’m Melissa Strickland, and I’m an angry person. I’m Melissa Strickland, and I’m a bitter, resentful, negative person because I’m an angry person. Anger has been a constant, comfortable companion. And I have developed the convenient habit of justifying my emotion as "righteous anger," which is also quite helpful if you're trying to avoid facing the discomfort of trying to be more like Christ. Then one day, I couldn't avoid it anymore. I had to choose between passing my anger down to my children or teaching them a better way. And so my journey begins...

Do you struggle with asking for help when you need it? I sure do! But this new year has brought challenges that have left me with no choice. But friends, God is ok with us accepting help when we need it. God has a heart for those who are struggling, and He wants His people to have the authentic fellowship of helping each other. So if you’re one of those people who need help, then you need to cease with all of the pride and fear of looking weak. You need to cease with all of the thoughts of being a burden. If God is sending you comfort, it’s because He knows you need it. Who the heck are you to tell Him He’s wrong? 

Friends, I’m tired. And I suspect I’ll always be tired because that’s part of what it means to be a mom and a caregiver. And sometimes it’s just part of what it means to be a person surrounded by so many messages telling us what to do to keep up, to be good enough. Let’s face it, it’s hard to be human, and care about people, and feel things. 
I’m just tired. All the time. And it’s been like this for years. And years. And years. It has been so long that fatigue feels like it’s just part of my identity. And being a caregiver doesn’t exactly help, you know? I mean, there’s a reason that this podcast is called The Faint Wick, you know?

The little fire of idea for this episode was sparked by my birthday, which occurred a few weeks ago. I’m not going to tell you how old I am now, but I will say that the next one is a big one--which means that I have officially started the year of the big one. And of course, because I’m completely neurotic and have a multitude of other mental and emotional issues, my first few days of this big year have been spent over-analyzing. Looking into an unknown future as an old feeble caregiver to a disabled spouse is the purest form of anxiety I know! But God tells us to remember where He has brought us from and to cling to His fierce.

We live under so many labels in this life. We have labels for our roles in the family, our jobs--even our personalities. And some of us make the mistake of thinking that those labels are our identities. We think that we are defined by being a mother, an accountant, a caregiver. And sometimes we like what those labels say about us, and sometimes we don’t. Friends, the good news is that those labels are not our identity. As followers of Christ we are not of this world, and we are not defined by the world’s labels. We are children of God...God’s special possession. That’s our identity.