The Follow-Up Question Michael Ashford

What do you think you might learn about communication if you held thousands of conversations with strangers over the course of a decade?
 
Well, you don't have to wonder. My guest in this episode can tell you.
 
Back in 2015, while working as a sales rep tasked with cold-calling people who didn't want to talk to him, Rob Lawless started a side project to see if he could have conversations with complete strangers.
 
Rob set a goal: to have an hour-long chat with 10,000 people about whatever topic was most important to them that day.
 
This episode features Rob's 6,140th conversation on his way to 10,000, and it's with me.
 
We discuss many things, but perhaps most importantly, we dive into the lessons Rob has learned about communication and nuance along the way.
 
Check out Rob's work at https://www.robs10kfriends.com/ and at https://www.roblawless.com/, and follow Rob's journey on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/robs10kfriends/.

If you were to track how many times per day someone tried to convince you to change in some way, chances are you'd fill up pages worth of tally marks.
 
We often get sucked into thinking that the way to change people's minds to get them to do what we want them to do is to present them with enough evidence, data, and proof that our way is the "right" way.
 
But deep down, you know that's not how it works, don't you?
 
If you're not sure, allow my guest, Michael McQueen, to lay it out for you.
 
Michael is the author of the book "Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds," and in this conversation, Michael outlines why so often, our approach to change fails to take into account two of the most important factors in human belief and behavior: identity and dignity.
 
Check out Michael's work at https://michaelmcqueen.net/ and connect with Michael on Linkedin at https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelmcqueen1/. 

This episode is taken from my recent appearance on Kwame Christian's "Negotiate Anything" podcast. In this discussion, Kwame and I take a deep dive into my book, "Can I Ask A Question?" and explore how the book came to be and the lessons about communication and change that I learned along the way.
 
To order a signed copy of my book, go to https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion
 
To order Can I Ask A Question? from Amazon, go to https://www.amazon.com/Can-Ask-Question-Following-communication/dp/1312245492/ref=sr_1_5

My guest in this episode is Steve Leskovek, a retired nurse who has created a resource to teach teens and young adults valuable life skills that Steve realized were not being taught in schools.
 
The word resource might be underselling it a bit — Steve created an entire curriculum, complete with video tutorials and study guides for everything from financial literacy to basic home care to employment and workplace skills. Thus, he called it the Life Skills Curriculum.
 
As you’ll hear, Steve still has the heart of a nurse and an overwhelming drive to reduce strife and suffering for others, which is how Life Skills Curriculum came to be. Steve’s work is born out of the same place as our desire to keep loved ones safe.
 
Steve and I discuss in depth a few critical themes central to this show that also flow through much of his course material — communication and understanding how and why people change, and just how often progress in those areas starts from within.
 
Check out Steve's work at https://www.thelifeskillscurriculum.com/. 
 
Connect with me on my website at https://michaelashford.com. 

If you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed over the past decade or so the emergence — or at least the increased use of — the word neurodivergent.
 
And if you’re anything like me, you heard the term and made some assumptions about what it meant, what and who it described, and why it started showing up in more places and in more conversations…perhaps without really understanding or knowing much of the backstory or origins.
 
My guest in this episode is Meghan Bonde, a neurodiversity specialist and a former educator, and even she acknowledges the recent increase in usage of the phrase neurodivergent, despite the fact that it’s been around longer than perhaps you and certainly I realized.
 
But Meghan brings a perspective beyond just the usage of the word, as well as some terms and descriptions that might be new to you, as they were to me.
 
As you’ll hear Meghan explain, neurodivergent individuals have a different way of perceiving the world, and she emphasizes the importance of understanding these differences from a strength-based perspective, rather than how she believes they’ve been treated for so long — as dividing labels.
 
Check out Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted at https://www.sengifted.org/ or Meghan's work at https://www.teamneurodivergent.com/.
 
Connect with Meghan at https://www.linkedin.com/in/meghan-bonde-connect/. 

One of the ways us humans feel the most vulnerable and least empowered is when others have authority and control over us.
 
Take away a person’s sense of autonomy and I’ll show you a person who is unsure of themselves, angry, and without peace.
 
When you voluntarily give away power and control over your thoughts and actions, psychologist Amy Morin says this chips away at your mental strength and your ability to be emotionally healthy.
 
As she wrote in her first book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” “giving other people the power to control how you think, feel, and behave makes it impossible to be mentally strong.”
 
In this conversation, Amy and I discuss what happens when you reclaim control over your thoughts and feelings, how it allows you to separate your opinions from facts, and how her experiences with grief and loss led her to write her original list of 13 things mentally strong people don’t do that turned into so much more than she could have anticipated.
 
Check out Amy's work at https://amymorinlcsw.com/
 
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