The Functioning Griefster

Alexandra Spencer
  • 0.0 (0)
  • MENTAL HEALTH

The Functioning Griefster is a podcast about, love, loss and still showing up anyway, with your survival kit on, whilst we bear the unbearable. Recorded in the back of my son’s van, Dec, who died aged 24 in August 2023, I speak to fellow Griefster, who are, still grieving, still loving and still carrying their loved ones legacy forward. These stories are real and raw,, no script, just courage, connection and unexpected moment of laughter and light. Each episode includes a grounding tool to help anyone who is grieving or supporting someone who is.

Episodes

  1. A rising football star. A test drive. A mother’s double heartbreak

    11/05/2025

    A rising football star. A test drive. A mother’s double heartbreak

    Send a text In this powerful episode, I sit down with Kerry, a devoted mum whose world changed in an instant when a tragic accident took both her husband, David, and their son, Cameron. Cameron wasn’t just any boy, he was a rising football star with a professional contract and a heart that lived for his friends, his family, and the game. Kerry opens up about the day that shattered her world, the shockwaves that followed, and the strength it takes to keep breathing when everything feels impossible. Together, we talk about love, loss, survival, and the invisible threads that connect us to those we’ve lost. Recorded in Dec’s van — the heart of The Functioning Griefster — this conversation reminds us that grief isn’t something to fix. It’s something to honour, to carry, and to keep finding meaning within. Thank you, Kerry, for trusting me with your story, and for reminding us all that connection truly is the medicine grief needs. 🌷 You can follow Kerry’s journey via her TikTok channel https://www.tiktok.com/@kerrylou711?_r=1&_t=ZN-917HvpUzGIY

    1h 34m
  2. A TIKTOK trend. A locked door. A Mothers CPR

    08/27/2025

    A TIKTOK trend. A locked door. A Mothers CPR

    Send a text He’d done it before and woken up euphoric. This time, he didn’t.” “We left the house as four. We came back as three.” It was just a normal school day. Isaac rode shotgun, grabbed his favourite Doritos, and ran upstairs like he always did. A few minutes later, Lisa called him for dinner. When he didn’t answer, she assumed he was playing a prank. But when she broke down the locked bathroom door, everything changed. Isaac had used his school tie to take part in a dangerous social media challenge — one he’d tried before and survived. This time, he didn’t. In this devastating episode, Lisa shares the moment she fought to save her 13 year-old son’s life, performing CPR on her own child while her daughter called 999. She talks about the surreal days in hospital, watching Isaac’s body begin to shut down, and the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye surrounded by family. At 3:41pm on the 9th of March 2022, Lisa’s world changed forever. Now, alongside other grieving parents, she’s turning her pain into purpose, fighting to educate young people and schools about the risks of online challenges, and preserving Isaac’s legacy through awareness, love and action. In this honest and emotional conversation between two grieving mothers, we also talk about what grief really feels like — how the silence fills your house when they’re not in it, how you become transfixed on medical equipment, and how your entire identity shifts when your child dies. This episode also pays tribute to the support Lisa received from COSMIC (Children of St Mary’s Intensive Care). https://cosmiccharity.org.uk/

    1h 5m
  3. One loyal, vulnerable boy. A knife. Two fatal stabs. Three teenagers who planned it all.

    08/20/2025

    One loyal, vulnerable boy. A knife. Two fatal stabs. Three teenagers who planned it all.

    Send a text A loyal, vulnerable boy betrayed. They groomed him, they lured him, they stabbed him. A murder planned online, their posts, BECAME PROOF. Olly Stephens was just 13 years old, a boy who loved doing wheelies, baking, cooking, making people laugh, and standing up for others. He was a son, a brother, a friend. But his loyalty and vulnerability were exploited. Groomed by older boys who glamorised gang culture, and lured to a park by a girl he once called a friend, Olly was ambushed only yards from his home. Two stabs from a teenager’s knife ended his life and triggered a media surge to uncover the truth. Social media played a devastating role, used to plan the murder and brag about weapons, but it also became the very evidence that convicted them. In this episode, Olly’s mum, Amanda, shares who her son truly was, the painful reality of grooming and knife crime, and the grief of losing a child to violence. She also speaks about the court case that followed, and her determination to raise awareness so no other family has to endure the same loss. Help following the topics raised today, can be found at the below websites, all of whom have helped Amanda. https://benkinsella.org.uk/ https://no5.org.uk/ https://parentingspecialchildren.co.uk/ https://www.n3wangle.com/ https://startingpoint.org.uk/contact/

    1h 22m
  4. It took 14 years for Brianna to blossom. The petals were torn away when hate and transphobia met obsession and betrayal

    08/13/2025

    It took 14 years for Brianna to blossom. The petals were torn away when hate and transphobia met obsession and betrayal

    Send a text From Warrington to the world — the LGBTQ+ community mourned Brianna Ghey after her tragic murder. But this is her mother’s story. Her pain. Her insight into who Brianna truly was. Esther was a young single mum to two beautiful children — Brett and his sister. Life was full of memories until a “three became four” when she met her husband, and their family felt complete. Brett was openly gay, gymnastic-loving, and full of life, but lockdown hit hard. At 14, Brett blossomed into Brianna — a beautiful, makeup-loving young woman. Esther’s only concern was the medical impact of hormones, never acceptance. Brianna’s teenage years became increasingly tangled with social media, and she was hospitalised after restricting her food intake and falling into dangerous online ideals of “skeletal beauty.” In February 2023, a friend with ulterior motives and a peer with deep transphobia lured Brianna to a park, where she was brutally stabbed. Both killers are now serving over 20 years in prison. Behind the headlines is a family — a mother, sister, and stepfather — grieving someone they adored. The world lit candles, vigils were held from Warrington to New York, and even Sam Smith wore a headdress with “Brianna Ghey” in her honour. Today, Esther channels her grief into purpose — bringing mindfulness into schools, advocating for better mental health support, and keeping Brianna’s legacy alive. She has shared her story with the Prime Minister, written a book, and continues to speak out so that no other family has to endure the pain she lives with every day.https://www.briannaslegacy.org/ This episode is warmly sponsored by Love, Loss and Disco Balls — a unique card company bringing honesty, warmth, and colour to life’s hardest moments. Find out more: Lovelossdiscoballs.com

    1h 5m
  5. Episode 6: From Catwalks to chemo. Leah’s brave ADHD fuelled life as an influencer

    08/06/2025

    Episode 6: From Catwalks to chemo. Leah’s brave ADHD fuelled life as an influencer

    Send a text “She strutted down that catwalk in shoes two sizes too big — and still looked like a queen.” In this episode of The Functioning Griefster, I sit down with Jenny, fellow young mum, ADHD soul, and mother of Leah, a teenage cancer warrior and TikTok creator whose light continues to shine even after her passing. Leah was studying childcare, juggling two jobs, falling in love, and had just won Miss British Isles when her life was turned upside down by a diagnosis: Ewing’s sarcoma — a rare form of bone cancer. She fought. She filmed. She shared it all. And when remission came, the fear didn’t go. Fifteen months later, she thought she had the hangover from hell. But it was back — this time in her lungs. Jenny and I talk about: •What it’s like to grieve with ADHD •Parenting when you know your child is dying •Living in hospital rooms •And the pain of hearing “She’s out of pain now” when you’re still in agony every single day Leah’s honesty, humour and defiance gave thousands of people strength. And now, her legacy continues through Leah’s Little Sunflowers — raising funds to buy a wheelchair-accessible caravan by the sea for families of terminally ill children to just be together. Why “Coldplay Yellow” Because it’s Leah loved yellow, and the stars now shine for her. 🌻 Support Leah’s legacy here: 👉 https://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/causes/leahs-little-sunflowers

    1h 20m
  6. Episode 5 - 12 years old, one viral challenge, 21 court cases, no second chances.

    07/30/2025

    Episode 5 - 12 years old, one viral challenge, 21 court cases, no second chances.

    Send us Fan Mail He was only twelve, full of energy, laughter and evening plans with his mum. In April 2022, Archie Battersby, was found by his mum, Hollie Dance, unconscious at home after a fun afternoon together with evening plans to go to the cinema. There was no warning, just a four minute 23 seconds phone call and a dressing gown cord that changed their life forever. Hollie, believes he was taking part in a viral TikTok challenge, that encourages viewers to hold their breath until they lose consciousness, what happened next was something no parent should ever have to face. The following four months were filled with, court cases, ventilators, media speculation, medical jargon and the public scrutiny of a mothers every move, all whilst trying to hold onto hope and be her son’s voice. In this episode, Hollie speaks with raw honesty about those four traumatic months, the red flags that she now recognises, and the final decision that even wanting to say goodbye to Archie in a hospice, was refused.  Hollies battle did not end after there, she even had to grieve under the microscope of trolls. Now, she is turning her pain into purpose, working with other parents who have lost their children due to these dangerous social media challenges. This is not a headline This is her voice This is Archie’s story 📺This episode can be watched the YouTube Channel Dec’s Rolling Bucket List-Learning to smile again, which includes never before seen footage Your can support Hollie and educate yourself about the dangers of social media via the links below.  Let’s help spread the awareness and protect our children https://youtu.be/kSmyNHKMYB4?si=pwg9VqbZoF-SLh2g https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/705644 https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/bechallengeaware-?utm_medium=CR&utm_source=FB ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode contains detailed discussions of a fatal social media challenge, brain injury, hospital trauma, and emotionally distressing content that may be triggering to some listeners — especially parents. 🛑 Disclaimer: The views expressed in this episode are those of the guest, Hollie Dance, and reflect her personal experience following the death of her son, Archie Battersby. The Functioning Griefster podcast does not endorse or claim factual accuracy on any medical, legal, or political statements made. This platform exists to hold space for grieving families to share their truth.

    57 min
  7. Episode 4 - He walked out the door, then the police knocked on it.

    07/23/2025

    Episode 4 - He walked out the door, then the police knocked on it.

    Send a text Luke Tyler was 20. A charismatic, spontaneous, witty, lovable yet humble soul, popular in the car community with an impressive TikTok following, who loved driving, especially japanese cars, including his 1991 Eunoroadster and 1998 Toyota Celica. Driving helped his mental health, gave him freedom, it was his escape. On the 13th of October 2023, Luke left the house like he’d done many times before, but this time he didn’t return. A knock on the door changed everything, as the rain fell, Shelley opened the door to the police and her world changed forever. In this episode, Shelley, a single mom, now faces life without her only child. She shares the raw truth of sudden loss, the haunting silence after the knock at the door and how she is finding ways to keep Luke’s name and his passion for cars alive. For anyone who has loved and lost, this is a story of heartbreak, community and the deep bond between a mother and her son. You can watch this episode here https://youtube.com/@decsrollinglist?si=r8mrlVm-7bw-qro4

    43 min
  8. Episode 3:Naomi’s Story-He saved lives, while losing his.

    07/11/2025

    Episode 3:Naomi’s Story-He saved lives, while losing his.

    Send a text He was only 18. It was New Year’s Eve. While most were celebrating, Naomi got a call from Canada: her son Jay had collapsed and was in intensive care. She rushed home — but what followed was every parent’s nightmare. Jay had gone into cardiac arrest from Sudden Arrhythmic Death Syndrome (SADS) — the same silent threat that has tragically taken footballers mid-game on live TV. Around 500 people a year in the UK are affected — all without warning  . There was no drink. No drugs. Just a young man who loved space, animals, and pizza — and who’d simply collapsed. But Jay had made one final, selfless choice: he was an organ donor. When his life support was turned off, five lives were saved. Legacy turned into action: Naomi launched Our Jay’s Foundation, installing defibrillators across the West Midlands — from gyms to police cars — and continues to raise funds so every public space holds a chance of survival.  In this episode of The Functionning Griefster, Naomi shares her grief, her fight against cruel anti-vax conspiracies, and how she carries Jay’s legacy forward — one heartbeat at a time.

    1h 2m

  9. 07/09/2025

    Episode 2: Sharon’s story of giving birth to a sleeping baby and her baby boys legacy.

    Send a text They told her there was no heartbeat. What follow is something no parent should ever endure. Next line in this episode, I sit with Sharon, founder of The Luca foundation,as we open up about what it means to give birth to a sleeping baby. We share our own experiences, the silence in that delivery room, and the moment after that no parent is ever prepared  Sharon’s son Luca, was lost twice, once when his heart stopped beating and again when the hospital misplaced his body for over 9 hours. That experience became the catalyst for her  tireless campaigning, funding cuddle cots and blankets so bereaved families can spend more precious time with their child, pushing for change in Parliament and opening an online bereavement shop filled with thoughtful gifts. This episode is a conversation about pain,  and the incredibly legacy of a baby boy called Luca who continues to make his mark on the world. For support if you have been affected by today’s episodes, can be found in the links below. Grounding videos can be found at: https://www.instagram.com/the_functioning_griefster?igsh=OWJsdzU4eWZ1bWto&utm_source=qr & https://youtube.com/@decsrollinglist?si=kkdtBMJhUNeeeMhh https://thelucafoundation.org.uk/ https://www.sands.org.uk/ https://www.tommys.org/ https://4louis.co.uk/

    1h 4m
  10. Episode 1- I lost my son and found my voice. I now record a podcast in the van where he took his last breath

    07/02/2025

    Episode 1- I lost my son and found my voice. I now record a podcast in the van where he took his last breath

    Send a text In the very first episode of The Functioning Griefster, I share the promise that she made to my son, Dec, to keep saying his name and to help others. Recorded in the back of the van where Dec took his last breath this Podcast invite’s those grieving, to tell their stories with honesty, heart and hope. This series is called a mother’s love a child’s Legacy. Where other grieving mum’s join me to celebrate the life of their children, what happened on that fateful day and how their legacy is continued by them. Today you will be introduced to my son, Dec, hear our story and how this podcast and #The Dec Effect came into fruition.  I’m doing all of this while living with ADHD, grief and no technical training-just heart, honesty and the driving force of mine and my sons everlasting bond.okay, I  Grounding tools can be found at @The_Functioning_Griefster  YouTube @Dec’s Rolling Bucket List, The legacy continues.

    39 min
  • 10 Episodes

About

The Functioning Griefster is a podcast about, love, loss and still showing up anyway, with your survival kit on, whilst we bear the unbearable. Recorded in the back of my son’s van, Dec, who died aged 24 in August 2023, I speak to fellow Griefster, who are, still grieving, still loving and still carrying their loved ones legacy forward. These stories are real and raw,, no script, just courage, connection and unexpected moment of laughter and light. Each episode includes a grounding tool to help anyone who is grieving or supporting someone who is.

Information

  • Creator
    Alexandra Spencer
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Functioning Griefster
  • Show Website
    The Functioning Griefster