The Grief Gurus

Lisa Chase McFarland + Carol Banens

The Grief Gurus Healing Community is a virtual space for women who are carrying grief—whether it’s recent or something that’s been with you for a long time. You don’t have to have the right words.You don’t have to share your story.You don’t have to be in a certain place. You can simply come and listen. Most people move through grief quietly, trying to make sense of it on their own.  This space offers something different—a place to be around others who understand, without needing to explain. Everything inside the community is optional.You can engage as much or as little as you want, at your own pace. We offer two weeks of complimentary access so you can explore the space gently and see what feels right for you. Because grief is part of your story… but it was never meant to be the whole story.

  1. Aug 20

    Early Grief Masterclass: What's Happening to Your Brain & Body?

    Grief is part of your story. But not the whole story. When someone we love dies, grief doesn't just affect our emotions—it affects our entire body. Many people in the early days and months after a loss are frightened by what they're experiencing. Brain fog. Difficulty concentrating. Anxiety. Trouble sleeping. Digestive issues. Chest pain. A racing heart. Exhaustion that doesn't seem to improve with rest. If you've ever wondered, "Is this normal?" or "What's happening to me?"—you're not alone. In this one-hour Grief Gurus Masterclass, we explore the whole-body experience of grief and explain why profound loss affects not only your heart, but also your brain, nervous system, immune system, and physical health. In this masterclass, you'll learn: • Why grief can cause brain fog, forgetfulness, and difficulty concentrating • What happens to your brain and nervous system after a significant loss • Why grief can affect your heart and cardiovascular system • The connection between grief and increased inflammation in the body • Why digestive problems, appetite changes, and nausea are so common • How grief contributes to anxiety, sleep disruption, and overwhelming fatigue • Practical ways to care for your body while navigating profound loss One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in grief is understanding what your body is going through. When we understand what's happening, we replace fear with knowledge and self-judgment with self-compassion. Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel less alone, more informed, and reassured that many of the physical and cognitive changes you're experiencing are normal responses to extraordinary loss. Whether your loss is recent or you've been grieving for some time, we hope this masterclass offers comfort, education, and hope as you navigate your healing journey. 💙 If this masterclass resonates with you, we'd love to hear from you in the comments. Your story may help someone else realize they're not alone. And consider joining our upcoming six week series on early grief. This is a collection of six, one hour live and virtual events beginning in September, 2026. 🦋 💜 Reserve Your Seat using this link: https://www.thegriefgurus.com/courses Subscribe to Grief Gurus for weekly conversations, practical guidance, meditations, and compassionate support for every stage of the grief journey. 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

  2. Aug 13

    ⭐ Is It Grief or Depression? And What Can Be Done About It?

    Grief is part of your story. But not the whole story. One of the biggest fears after losing someone you love is wondering, "Is this normal grief, or am I becoming depressed?" The truth is that grief and clinical depression can look remarkably similar. Both can bring overwhelming sadness, exhaustion, difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, trouble concentrating, and a loss of motivation. But they are not the same—and understanding the difference can reduce fear while helping you recognize when additional support may be needed. In this chat, we explore: ✅ The key differences between grief and clinical depression ✅ Why grief can mimic many symptoms of depression ✅ The surprising role inflammation plays in grief, including how inflammatory markers can increase after a significant loss and affect both your body and your mood ✅Why sleep problems are so common during grief and practical ways to improve your rest ✅ When it's time to seek additional professional support ✅ Why self-compassion is one of the most important tools for healing Grief isn't just an emotional experience—it's a whole-body experience. Understanding the physical changes that occur during grief can help you stop questioning yourself and begin treating yourself with the same compassion you would offer someone you love. Whether you're in the first days, weeks, or months after a loss, we hope this conversation helps you feel less alone, more informed, and more confident in your grief journey. 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

  3. Aug 6

    Think You're Grieving Wrong? Listen to This First ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    Losing someone you love can make you wonder if you're grieving "the right way." You may have heard about the five stages of grief and expected to move neatly from one stage to the next. But that's not how grief works. In this chat, we explain why the stages of grief are not a roadmap or a checklist. You may experience some of the stages, none of them, or revisit the same emotions over and over again. Grief is deeply personal, and there is no single "correct" path through it. If you've ever thought, "I was doing better... why am I falling apart again?" or "Shouldn't I be in a different stage by now?" this conversation is for you. You'll learn: Why grief isn't linear Why emotions come and go unexpectedly Why you may never experience every stage How understanding this can reduce fear, guilt, and self-judgment How to trust your own unique grief journey Remember: you're not failing at grief. You're experiencing one of the most human responses to profound loss. If this video helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe for more compassionate conversations about navigating the early days and months of grief. 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

  4. Jul 30

    Why Doesn't Anyone Talk About This Part of Grief?

    Grief is part of your story. But not the whole story. There are parts of grief that almost everyone experiences—but very few people ever talk about. What if, after your loved one died, you felt relief? What if you found yourself feeling hurt, frustrated, or even resentful toward the people around you? These emotions can be deeply unsettling, leaving many grieving people wondering, "What's wrong with me?" The truth is, these reactions are far more common than most of us realize. Yet because they're uncomfortable to admit, many people carry them silently, believing they're somehow grieving the "wrong" way. In this episode, we have an honest conversation about the hidden emotions of grief—especially the ones that can bring shame or self-judgment. We explore why feelings like relief, resentment, disappointment, or frustration can naturally arise after a profound loss and why experiencing them doesn't diminish your love for the person who died. In this conversation, we'll discuss: • Why relief can be a normal part of grief after a long illness or caregiving journey • The surprising reasons you may feel hurt, frustrated, or resentful after a loss • Why these emotions don't make you a bad person—they make you human • How unspoken feelings can keep us feeling isolated and ashamed • The healing power of talking honestly about the parts of grief that most people hide One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is permission to tell the truth about our grief—even when that truth feels messy or confusing. Our hope is that this conversation helps you replace self-judgment with self-compassion and reminds you that you're not alone. Because when we begin talking openly about the parts of grief that no one seems to discuss, healing becomes a little less lonely. If this conversation resonates with you, we'd love to hear from you in the comments. Your honesty may be exactly what someone else needs to feel seen. 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

  5. Jul 23

    Why Can't I Function Like I Used To?

    Grief is part of your story. But not the whole story. After the death of a loved one, many people are surprised by how difficult everyday life becomes. You may find yourself forgetting appointments, struggling to focus, rereading the same page over and over, losing track of conversations, or feeling mentally exhausted by tasks that once felt simple. Some people begin to wonder if something is wrong with them. The truth is that grief affects far more than our emotions. Grief can impact attention, memory, concentration, decision-making, motivation, and even our ability to complete everyday tasks. What many people describe as "grief brain" is a common response to profound loss. In this conversation, we explore: • Why grief can make it difficult to focus • The connection between grief, stress, and cognitive function • Why memory problems are common after loss • The emotional impact of no longer functioning the way you once did • How to practice self-compassion during periods of mental fog If you've ever found yourself wondering why you can't think, remember, organize, or function the way you used to before your loss, you're not alone. Your brain isn't failing. Your heart is carrying something incredibly heavy. And understanding that can be an important step toward healing. ❤️ 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

  6. Jul 16

    What My Daughter Taught Me 30 Years After Her Death

    Grief is part of your story. But not the whole story. For nearly 30 years, I carried a painful belief about the death of my daughter. While everyone around me seemed to understand that she was dying, I always felt I was the only one who thought maybe she wouldn't. I felt dumb and wondered how I could have been the only person who didn't see what was happening. At times, I felt angry and betrayed. I even questioned my faith and wondered whether my hope had somehow been misplaced. Over the years, I told myself a story about what that meant. Then recently, I encountered research that offered an entirely different perspective. The research suggested that in moments of extreme fear and uncertainty, the presence of even one person who genuinely believes everything will be okay can have a profound impact on everyone around them. That person's hope can help calm fear, create emotional safety, and provide strength when others are struggling. As I reflected on that idea, something shifted. For the first time, I stopped seeing myself as the person who "didn't get it" and began seeing myself as the person who carried hope when hope was desperately needed. Alexis never had to look into my eyes to see despair. She only saw love and a belief in the possibility of miracles. My new perspective didn't change what happened. It didn't erase the loss. It didn't remove the pain of losing my daughter. But it changed the meaning I had attached to that chapter of my life for nearly three decades. In this conversation, we explore: • How the stories we tell ourselves can shape our healing • Why grief sometimes asks us to revisit old beliefs • The role of hope during life's most difficult moments • How perspective shifts can create unexpected healing • Finding compassion for earlier versions of ourselves • Why meaning-making remains an important part of grief integration If you've ever carried guilt, regret, embarrassment, or self-judgment about something that happened during a difficult time, this conversation may offer a new way of looking at your own story. Sometimes healing doesn't come from finding new answers. Sometimes it comes from asking a different question. And sometimes, years later, we discover that what we once saw as a weakness may have actually been a gift. ❤️ 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

  7. Jul 9

    What Should I Do on the Anniversary of Their Death?

    Grief is part of your story. But not the whole story. The anniversary of a loved one's death can bring a wide range of emotions—sadness, gratitude, love, anxiety, reflection, or even unexpected peace. There is no right way to experience these milestone days, and what feels meaningful can change from year to year. In this conversation, Carol reflects on the eighth anniversary of her husband's death and shares some of the ways she has learned to approach this significant day. We explore different ways to honor and remember someone we love, the importance of staying open to whatever emotions arise, and why planning for self-care can make a meaningful difference. In this video, we discuss: • Different ways to honor and remember a loved one on their anniversary • Why there is no "right" way to spend the day • The importance of reflection and self-compassion • How anniversaries can change over time • Creating space for both remembrance and self-care Whether the anniversary is approaching for the first time or the twentieth, we hope this conversation offers comfort, perspective, and permission to honor your grief in whatever way feels right for you. 👉 Follow for tools to navigate grief and difficult emotions and visit www.thegriefgurus.com for practical conversations about grief, coping, and living after loss. #TheGriefGurus #CarolBanens #LisaMcFarland #healing Show Notes + Resources: Grief Gurus Healing Community: www.thegriefgurus.com YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@GriefGurus Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thegriefgurus Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/griefgurus/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GriefGurus/ Lisa McFarland: https://lisamcfarland.com/ Carol Banens: https://carolbanens.com/ Information on books written and published by Lisa and Carol can be found on their individual websites, social media profiles and Amazon.

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About

The Grief Gurus Healing Community is a virtual space for women who are carrying grief—whether it’s recent or something that’s been with you for a long time. You don’t have to have the right words.You don’t have to share your story.You don’t have to be in a certain place. You can simply come and listen. Most people move through grief quietly, trying to make sense of it on their own.  This space offers something different—a place to be around others who understand, without needing to explain. Everything inside the community is optional.You can engage as much or as little as you want, at your own pace. We offer two weeks of complimentary access so you can explore the space gently and see what feels right for you. Because grief is part of your story… but it was never meant to be the whole story.