The Handsome Hour

Stony Grunow, Cody Zervas, Wes Myers

Three deranged tech founders discuss dating and society.

  1. 6d ago

    Episode 19 - Don't Be Horrible

    This week on The Handsome Hour, Wes, Cody, and Stony attempt to write a dating constitution and get stuck litigating it's very first commandment: Don't be horrible. Is that actionable moral guidance, a useless tautology, or exactly the sign everyone in modern dating needs tapped directly in front of their face? Before they can settle that question, Wes launches the show's first pledge drive with the help of new in-studio producer Rael. What follows is an impressively unsuccessful attempt to raise money for the Starfish Project, establish goodwill with women, explain human trafficking, and promote a second "sponsor" devoted to duck hunting and federal easement regulations. Eventually, Cody proposes that "Don't be horrible" should become Rule Number 1 of the Handsome Hour Ten Commandments. Stony objects: sometimes the world needs a good horrible person to stop a bad horrible person. If someone blasts music on the subway, perhaps smashing the speaker would technically be horrible -- but also make civilization better. The guys debate cooperation, retaliation, virtue, blind spots, and whether the more useful rule might simply be: Remember that you're the problem. That leads to Commandment No. 2 -- or at least a potential one: Don't be transactional. Stop treating romance like a vending machine where you insert dinners, favors, and strategic kindness until sex falls out. Do things because you genuinely want to improve another person's life, not because you're secretly maintaining an internal ledger. Naturally, this lesson arrives immediately after Wes admits the charity drive is partly intended to make women like the show. Then the guys turn their attention to Rael, who reportedly thinks publicly committing to a girlfriend is "gay" and "low testosterone." What begins as big-brother dating advice becomes an even deeper conversation about freedom, responsibility, and Type Two fun. Everything meaningful -- children, marriage, employees, houses, difficult accomplishments -- restricts your freedom. But that restriction may be the source of meaning rather than its enemy. One more hookup delivers immediate stimulation; building a family or landing a SpaceX rocket requires years of work and produces something closer to durable fulfillment. From there, the episode moves into delayed marriage, premarital sex, celibacy, abortion, "hoe phases," and why older generations imposed sexual norms that felt arbitrary to young people. The guys argue over whether some experimentation helps people understand what they actually want -- or merely creates damage they later expect a spouse to absorb. Stony also presents the engagement ring as an ingenious old-world solution to the problem now being addressed by "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups: a costly, public signal that one man has committed to one woman. Then come the prenups. Billionaire lawyer John Morgan reportedly requires his children to sign one before marriage or survive on the crushing deprivation of only $1 million per year. The guys debate inheritance, alimony, divorce incentives, stay-at-home motherhood, and whether a prenup is prudent insurance or evidence that you already distrust the person you're marrying. Cody compares it to buying insurance against a Godzilla attack. Stony counters that even spaceships have shields because eventually somebody is going to shoot a laser at you. Finally, Wes reflects on spending a week starting fights online for engagement. It worked -- but it also felt unbecoming. Cody connects that experience back to dating: never trade long-term, compounding virtue for short-term rewards. Don't perform merely to secure an outcome. Listen to feedback without surrendering your identity to it. And before sending a car for a demanding first date, ask whether that behavior reflects the relationship you actually want -- or merely the approval you hope to extract. Click here to view the episode transcript.

  2. Aug 4

    Episode 18 - The Internet is a Small Town

    This week on The Handsome Hour, Wes, Cody, and Stony promise that you will emerge smarter, more worldly, and possibly less employable. The discussion covers weight loss, perfectionism, Han Solo's moral philosophy, vigilante justice, OnlyFans, fake resumes, offensive comedies, digital reputation, novelty domains, and why Marie Curie and Julia Child may or may not be the same woman. First, Wes celebrates losing ten pounds in twelve days, only for Cody to dismiss most of it as glycogen and water. This becomes a debate about sustainable weight loss, whether thinking harder burns more calories, and the background program misanthropy.exe permanently running in Wes's brain. Wes also explains his new commitment to publishing articles, even when some of them suck, because quantity of action beats waiting around for perfect work. That same principle drives the latest Handsome Hour business ventures: overpriced, American-made "I AM GAY" and "I AM NOT GAY" hats, a search for a producer with a cofounder mentality, and a merchandising philosophy based on making customers spend enough that they feel obligated to wear the product. The guys also explain why reading another book, buying business cards, or listening to another podcast cannot substitute for actually doing the thing. Then, the episode becomes a political philosophy seminar. Cody lays out Han Solo morality: the ideal of a self-contained man with his own code, operating beyond institutions without necessarily holding any coherent political ideology. The guys debate prisons, vigilante justice, cartels, permissionless organizations, city-states, and why a genuinely correct moral decision may be impossible to reduce to a universal rulebook. Stony then brings in a business story that becomes a dating story. A prospective consultant had a polished LinkedIn profile, but almost no verifiable history before 2022. A reverse-image search appeared to uncover a hidden adult-content past, raising uncomfortable questions about identity, second chances, legal names, professional trust, and whether everyone should start background-checking their dates. That leads into a darker conversation about OnlyFans and the transactionalization of intimacy. Are men paying for pornography, or for a simulation of personal attention? What happens when someone exposes herself permanently online and earns almost nothing? And will the future still contain boyfriends and girlfriends -- only with the emotional relationship explicitly mediated through an app and a monthly payment? Later, Cody attempts to explain his deleted "2000's bigot" tweet  and the cultural equilibrium represented by South Park: make fun of every group, take no category too seriously, and judge the actual person standing in front of you. The discussion expands into offensive humor, merit, group statistics, individual dignity, and why declaring one subject completely off-limits can make it dominate every interaction instead of receding into the background. Finally, the guys pitch a post-AGI business empire built around domains like SalesBoner and other websites that publicly designate one winner and loser each day. They explain why Internet namespace may be the last form of real estate, why dating advice eventually becomes counterproductive, and why the show's real purpose may be less about telling you what to do than stabilizing your emotions around an insane dating culture. The episode closes by returning, despite everyone's best efforts, to dating. Wes discovers that the woman he was seeing had previously dated multiple men in his extended network, prompting a discussion about Eskimo-bro degrees, how shockingly small the dating world is, and why your reputation follows you even when modern life appears anonymous. In the long run, ethical behavior may simply be the long-term greedy strategy. Click here to view the episode transcript.

  3. Jul 27

    Episode 17 - Beautiful Mids and Talking Dogs

    This week on The Handsome Hour, the Fellows talk cold approach, bad matchmaking, talking dogs, IQ gaps, AI girlfriends, oatmeal, and women's sports. The episode starts with a riff on women's sports camera angles, athletic beauty, and why society is weirdly pro-porn but anti-athletic-aesthetic. This turns into pole vaulting, Olympic bulges, Vlad the Impaler, and the correct angle from which one may or may not film women running track (according to the EU). Then the guys get into the new Justin McLoud / Hinge-adjacent dating app discourse and why most "AI matchmaking apps" are probably just dating apps with a slightly more flattering pitch deck. Wes explains why apps like Sitch fail: they ask too few meaningful questions, ignore core filters like kids, and then pretend a generic professional resume is a reason two people should date. From there, it becomes a broader critique of professional matchmaking: Three Day Rule, 38-year-old tech executives, eggs on ice, and matchmakers who don't seem to understand what their clients actually want. The guys debate whether real matching requires uncomfortable honesty, whether everyone is trying to date 25% above their level, and why "better" means something different to everyone. The middle of the episode gets deep on intelligence and attraction. Wes admits he doesn't need a genius wife -- "give me a beautiful mid" -- while Stony and Cody unpack why IQ gaps can make conversations feel impossible, why smart people can seem "eldritch" to people far enough below them, and why dating someone too intellectually mismatched can become painful fast. Then, the episode swerves into whether dogs can talk, whether button-board pets are real or just pattern-matching, whether Koko the gorilla actually had a vocabulary, and whether most people are just LLMs and not conscious main characters like Wes Myers. The core dating section is about cold approach. Wes and Cody tell the story of coaching a 17-year-old through talking to girls on Martha's Vineyard, where a guitar moment at a donut shop turns into two teenage boys unexpectedly wingmanning them as "sent from God." That leads into the real lesson: most people are bored, most guys are scared, and sometimes the only move is to walk over and say hi. Finally they argue about pickup artistry, Neil Strauss, "indicators of interest," false time constraints, and whether socially awkward men need a rulebook -- or just more reps talking to actual people. Cody says the modern problem is that old courtship rules have vanished, the new rules are implicity, and the consequences for getting them wrong feel terrifying. The episode closes with AI companionship, Nolan's Oddysey, live-show energy, Wes getting fat-shamed, fake autism centers, merch ideas, and the revelation that Wes now eats mostly oatmeal.

  4. Jul 9

    Episode 16 - Useful Psychopaths

    This week on The Handsome Hour, the fellows take on tattoos, work, politics, Andrew Tate, bad startup ideas, and the terrifying possibility of putting a condom inside your dingus instead of outside it. The episode starts with the tattoo discourse: are tattoos self-expression, a filtering mechanism, a red flag, a taste issue, or just corny? The guys debate whether tattoos actually signal openness and nonconformity, whether men are reading the signal "wrong," and why a tongue stud might be attractive for exactly five seconds before immediately exiting the marriageable category. There is also a short but important linguistic detour into the German term for "tramp stamp," or "butt antlers." Then Stony brings up politics and the "get a real job" discourse, which becomes a bigger conversation about young men, work, resentment, meaning, mastery, and sovereignty. What counts as a "real job" now? Why do so many modern jobs feel fake, pointless, or spiritually dead? And why does the modern economy make it harder for men to feel like self-sufficient providers instead of cogs in someone else's machine? From there, the guys get into the tension between money and meaning: the day trader making hundreds of thousands a year but still seeming like a loser to his wife, the difference between making value and capturing value, and whether women want money, visible effort, social contribution, or simply the impression that you are not sitting at home playing PlayStation all day. The middle of the episode turns into a serious argument over Andrew Tate: useful psychopath, dangerous clown, enemy of the state, scammer, truth-teller, or all of the above? Stony argues that Tate's appeal comes from being one of the few figures willing to speak directly to alienated young men. Cody grants the point while still insisting that "don't be a psychopath" remains a pretty good rule. Wes tries to separate the performance from the substance without taking the bait too literally. Finally, the episode ends in a startup-brain meltdown: a horrifying condom alternative, "stabbings as a service," massage booths for Costco employees, anti-money-laundering software for art dealers, a Where's Waldo? book with no Waldo, and whether everyone should start a podcast or nobody should. Click here to view the episode transcript.

  5. Jul 1

    Episode 15 - Gossip Hour

    This week on The Handsome Hour, Wes, Cody, and Stony accidentally invent The Gossip Hour: a journey through Twitter fights, gender discourse, male friendship, neurodivergence, representation, air conditioning, and why Europoors hate being comfortable. The episode starts with Wes fighting women on the internet. The guy break down the Jessica Pill and Diane Yap discourse, whether men only care about women for sex, and why "necessary but not sufficient" is apparently too powerful a concept for some people. From there, they get into Wes' viral-ish tweet about how men receive kindness, why women and children get lifeboats first, and why even suggesting empathy for men makes the Internet burst into flames. Then the conversation turns from online beef to male loneliness, male friendship, and why guys need shared missions, physical tasks, ski trips, or possibly horseback rides across the Mongolian steppe to feel fully human again. The fellows talk about how friendships form, why male groups scare institutions, and why carrying monitors around an office feels more real than white-collar work. Later, they tackle agency, worldview, and social inheritance: why "high agency" might be less about effort and more about knowing the right sequence of inputs; why good judgement is often a family heirloom; and why the podcast is basically trying to be the older brother who tells you how the world works before you waste twenty years figuring it out. The back half gets glorious: a neurodivergent social app, whether "neurodivergent" sometimes just means "weird," Cody's attempt to come out of the autism closet, representation discourse, mayo on fries, stated vs. revealed preferences (again), and the profound truth that nobody is actually a purple square. And finally, because it's almost the Fourth of July: a moment of silence for Europeans without air conditioning, clandestine AC units, net-zero suffering, and Wes almost reading a tweet about America before refusing to read it out of spite. (00:00) - The Handsome Hour: Online Discourse Shambles (00:34) - Intro Song Click here to view the episode transcript.

  6. Jun 24

    Episode 14 - The World's Most Dangerous Group Project

    This week on The Handsome Hour, Wes, Cody, and Stony welcome Joshua Lisec — author, ghostwriter, persuasion guy, Ohio Nationalist, and accidental "Dear Abby" for men getting destroyed by modern divorce and dating discourse. The conversation starts with the "White Claw" body-count discourse: what happens when a man is expected to court a woman like a gentleman after learning she used to hook up casually with men who put in far less effort? Wes argues that men need some perspective and shouldn't treat every past mistake as a lifetime disqualifier. Joshua pushes back from the conservative-Christian agnle, where "purity," forgiveness, social incentives, and public redemption arcs can create a very perverse dating market. From there, the conversation widens into marriage, divorce, modernity, incentives, therapy culture, consumerism, dating apps, and whether Western civilization has been engineered to make men and women hate each other. Joshua brings a long view of marriage — from tribe, kin, and children to civil contracts, no-fault divorce, co-CEO households, prenups, and the legal machinery that can turn "till death do us part" into the world's most dangerous group project. The guys debate whether marriage is still the best institution we have for raising children, even if it's badly mismatched to a world of infinite options, dating apps, sexual liberation, therapy-speak, and consumer choice overload. Joshua introduces ideas like termed marriages, "diseases of abundance," and the claim that if the current system can't be fixed, maybe it has to be pushed to its terminal stage: embrace and amplify. Finally, they return to the dating question underneath it all: does body count matter, why does it matter, and what exactly are men reacting to? Is it biology? Sacredness? Jealousy? Fear of being played? Or the humiliation of being treated like the "safe" guy after other men got the wild version? The episode ends right as the debate gets most dangerous — which means Joshua probably has to come back. (00:00) - Start Show (01:33) - Find Tweet, put it up (05:01) - Remove Ding (01:10:25) - Left off (01:11:09) - Outro Click here to view the episode transcript.

  7. May 26

    Episode 13 - Looksmaxing for the End Times

    This week on The Handsome Hour, Wes, Cody, and Stony connect the dots between taxes, fake jobs, plumbers, motherhood, dating markets, and mars colonies. The episode starts with a story about a former USAID-funded nonprofit executive who went from a six-figure salary to a retail job making $19/hour, which launches the guys into a debate about fake jobs, NGO status inflation, government patronage, and whether certain parts of the economy are quietly distorting the dating market. Stony argues that overpaid prestige jobs can inflate people's sense of romantic market value. Wes compares the whole thing to The Sopranos "no work" jobs, bloated college administrations, tollbooth patronage, and Army paperwork nightmares. From there, the conversation turns into a bigger theory of modern male frustration: taxes, housing costs, low agency, and the collapse of ordinary provider status. If a plumber does real work, pays the taxes, and still can't afford the car, house, or date-night life that used to make family formation possible, what happens to dating? Cody frames it as a world where government and institutions have become "the alpha in the room," leaving most men cosplaying control inside a system that can crush them at any time. Then Wes makes the case for venerating motherhood as one of the highest-value contributions anyone can make to civilization. The guys talk about family parades, functional households, reproductive culture, and why society celebrates almost everything except the thing that actually reproduces society. The back half zooms back down to the individual level: if the 1950s provider path is gone, what should ben actually do? Cody argues that most problems collapse to volume: do more things, meet more women, try more paths, and let feedback sort the rest. Wes connects the rise of looksmaxing to young men feeling economically blocked and searching for new forms of dating "alpha." Stony pushes back on boomer advice, average effort, and why "just try harder" does not land the same way in a more competitive world. Finally, the guys get into boomers, non-retirement, career-as-purpose, the sadness of aging rich without family, and the one fronteir solution Cody still believes in: go to Mars, because men need new worlds to conquer. Click here to view the episode transcript.

  8. May 20

    Episode 12 - Should Women Pay Rent?

    This week on The Handsome Hour, Wes, Cody, and Stony start with Civil War ancestry, West Virginia roads, and Waka Flocka Flame's tour bus — eventually making their way to the darkest corners of dating, scams, matchmaking, extortion, and who pays rent when your girlfriend moves in. First, the fellows unpack a viral lawsuit involving a JP Morgan executive accused of turning a coworker into her "sex slave." The story is lurid, bizarre, and probably not what it first appeared to be, which opens up a bigger conversation about false allegations, trial-by-internet, humiliation fantasies, MeToo reversals, and why some claims become memes before anyone knows what actually happened. Then the episode turns to high-end matchmaking. Wes and Cody debate whether services like Blaine Anderson's are really matchmaking, or more like expensive introduction services selling hope. Is it wrong to help rich men get dates with beautiful women? Are gold diggers only possible when men are looking only for looks? And how does "B2B SaaS morality" apply to love? From there, Cody tells the story of how a woman tried to scam him off of Bumble by stripping on FaceTime. The guys break down the economics of sextortion, why the $500 price point feels oddly insulting, and why the coming age of deepfakes may make blackmail easier and less powerful. Finally, they tackle a classic relationship finance dilemma: should your girlfriend pay rent if she moves into the house you already own? What starts as a Reddit post reaction becomes a deeper discussion about ledgers, gender roles, contribution, provider instincts, household reciprocity, parenting, chores, and why the healthiest relationships don't feel like anyone is keeping score. Click here to view the episode transcript.

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About

Three deranged tech founders discuss dating and society.

Information

  • Creator
    Stony Grunow, Cody Zervas, Wes Myers
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Stony Grunow, Cody Zervas, Wes Myers
  • Show Website
    The Handsome Hour