The Human Bits

Deborah McPhilemy
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  • Mental Health
  • Updated Semiweekly

The Human Bits is a podcast about understanding yourself instead of fixing yourself. Through honest, grounded conversations, we explore emotions, trauma, relationships, nervous system healing, self-worth, and the patterns that shape how we think, feel, and behave. It’s a space to make sense of your inner world, reconnect with who you are beneath the noise, and gently unravel the belief that you need to be someone else to feel okay. Together, we focus on creating a life that feels authentic, peaceful, and truly yours.

Episodes

  1. Jul 31

    I Was Looking for Love... and Missing It All Along

    For years, I thought I knew my love language. I believed that if my husband truly loved me, he needed to show it in the way that meant the most to me. Like many people, I'd learned about the five love languages and unconsciously started measuring love against that framework. Then one day, I had a realisation that completely changed how I saw my relationship. I had become so focused on the one way I wanted to receive love that I had completely overlooked all the other ways my husband had been showing me he cared. In this episode of Human Bits, I share the moment I realised that love doesn't always arrive in the package we expect. Sometimes, our expectations become filters that stop us recognising the love that's already right in front of us. We explore: Why love languages can be helpful—but shouldn't become rules.How expectations can blind us to genuine acts of love.Why every person has their own unique way of expressing love.How learning to recognise different expressions of love can transform a relationship.Why love is far richer than any one category or label.Sometimes the greatest shift in a relationship doesn't happen because our partner changes. It happens because we begin to see differently. If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. ❤️ Don't forget to Like, Subscribe and Share if you're enjoying these honest conversations about relationships, emotional intelligence and what it really means to be human.

    I Was Looking for Love... and Missing It All Along

  2. Jul 25

    The Bee Sting That Changed Everything | Learning I Was Never Truly Alone

    Sometimes life's biggest lessons arrive in the most unexpected ways. When I was stung by a bee, my body began reacting so quickly that I genuinely thought I might be going into anaphylaxis. But what happened next wasn't just about the physical experience—it uncovered something much deeper. For a long time, I'd carried the belief that I was alone. That if something happened, I had to cope by myself. That I couldn't truly rely on people. But during that experience, something shifted. Help arrived.People showed up.I realised I wasn't alone after all. Even more profoundly, I discovered a deeper trust—not just in the kindness of people, but in God, the Universe, the Higher Power... whatever name you choose to give it. When I asked for help, it came. This episode isn't about religion.It's about trust.It's about letting go of the belief that we have to carry everything by ourselves.And it's about discovering that sometimes support has been there all along—we simply have to allow ourselves to receive it. If you've ever felt like you're carrying life on your own, I hope this conversation brings you a little comfort.

    The Bee Sting That Changed Everything | Learning I Was Never Truly Alone

  3. Jul 17

    The Biggest Threat to Becoming a New You

    I've been talking a lot about becoming a new version of myself.About changing my identity instead of spending my life trying to fix myself.But this week reminded me just how easy it is to fall back into old patterns.A simple bee sting triggered more than physical symptoms. It pulled my attention straight back to my body, my fears and the version of me that believes life revolves around what's wrong.And that's the trap.When all of your focus is on your problems, there's very little room left to become the person you're trying to be.In this episode, I'm sharing what happened—not because I want sympathy, but because I want this journey to be real. Reinvention isn't a straight line. Life will interrupt you. Old habits will come knocking. Some days you'll feel like you've taken three steps backwards.The question isn't whether you'll have setbacks.The question is whether you'll let those setbacks become your identity.This channel isn't about pretending I've got it all figured out. It's about documenting what it really looks like to consciously create a different life - one decision, one thought and one small step at a time.If you're trying to become a new version of yourself too, I hope this episode reminds you that progress isn't about perfection. It's about choosing, again and again, who you're becoming.❤️ Thanks for walking this journey with me.

    The Biggest Threat to Becoming a New You

  4. Jul 17

    The Real Reason You're (I am) So Afraid of Being Late

    For years, I thought I was simply someone who hated being late.But the more I began connecting the dots, the more I realised it wasn't really about time at all.It was about fear.In this episode of The Human Bits, I explore how strict discipline, fear and childhood experiences can quietly shape our adult reactions without us even realising it.Why does my body panic when someone else is running late?Why do I feel responsible for things I can't control?Why does my nervous system react as if something terrible is about to happen?These are the questions I've been asking myself as I continue healing my nervous system and retraining my brain.I also talk about how I'm beginning to unlearn these old fear responses using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or tapping), nervous system healing, and something I'm discovering is just as powerful - learning to respond to myself with more love, compassion and safety instead of fear.Because maybe healing isn't about becoming fearless.Maybe it's about teaching our brains that the danger has passed. If you've ever felt anxious about being late, making mistakes or disappointing people, you may relate.

    The Real Reason You're (I am) So Afraid of Being Late

  5. Jul 17

    I'm Not Telling These Stories for the Reason You Think.

    When I share stories from my past—stories about abuse, bullying, fear or painful memories—it's not because I want sympathy, revenge or to make anyone feel guilty.It's actually the opposite.I'm sharing them because I've realised something important...The events themselves aren't what keep us stuck.It's the emotions we never had the chance to fully feel.For years, I couldn't understand why certain fears, behaviours and patterns kept showing up in my life. It wasn't until I started connecting the dots that I realised those old experiences were still living inside my nervous system.Talking about them isn't about living in the past.It's about allowing those hidden emotions to be seen, felt and finally released so they no longer shape the present.In this video I explain why I share these stories, how suppressed emotions can quietly influence our lives for decades, and why healing often begins by understanding—not avoiding—our past.If you've ever wondered why you still react so strongly to something that happened years ago, I hope this conversation helps you make sense of your own story too.

    I'm Not Telling These Stories for the Reason You Think.

  6. Jul 17

    Whose Voice is in Your Head?

    In this episode on ‪The Human Bits, I'm talking about something that quietly shapes almost every decision we make…Whose voice is really in your head?Is it your own?Or is it the voice of a parent, a teacher, a partner, a bully, a society that told you who you should be?Many of us spend years living according to other people's opinions, expectations and criticisms without even realising it. Their voices become our inner dialogue, influencing our confidence, our choices and the way we see ourselves.In this episode, I explore how these voices become part of our identity, why we keep believing them, and how to begin turning the volume down on everyone else's opinions so that your own authentic voice becomes the one that leads your life.If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, people-pleasing, or worrying about what others think, I hope this episode reminds you that the opinion that matters most is your own.

    Whose Voice is in Your Head?

  7. Jul 17

    How One Mean Girl Kept Me Hiding for Years... Until Now

    For years, I believed my purpose had to be something big.A mission. A cause. Something that proved my worth.Looking back, I realised so much of what drove me came from trying to prove something - to my father, to the people who doubted me, and perhaps even to myself.But what if purpose isn't something we have to push towards?What if it's something that quietly pulls us forward through the things we genuinely love?In this episode I share the surprising shift that's changing how I see my future. I also talk openly about something I've rarely spoken about in depth - the years I spent hiding after relentless criticism, bullying and online trolling. One person in particular made my life miserable and, without even realising it, I allowed that experience to convince me it wasn't safe to be seen.For years I stayed small.Not anymore.I've recently recognised and removed two invisible barriers that have kept me hidden, and for the first time in a long time, I genuinely feel comfortable being visible again.If you've ever felt like you've lost your purpose, been afraid to put yourself out there, or spent your life trying to prove your worth, I hope this conversation helps you realise you're not alone.This is another chapter in my journey of reinventing myself at 58 - and perhaps it might help you begin reinventing yourself too.

    How One Mean Girl Kept Me Hiding for Years... Until Now

  8. Jul 17

    Why You Wake Up Feeling Sad (And How to Break the Cycle)

    Have you ever woken up feeling sad, flat or emotionally numb for no obvious reason?That happened to me this morning.For a moment, it felt as though the sadness had simply arrived. But then I stopped and asked myself a different question...What if my brain and body are simply following a familiar emotional pattern?In this video, I share how I interrupted that pattern - not by forcing myself to "be positive," but by deliberately doing something that changed my emotional state.For me, it was putting on music I love and dancing around the room.Sometimes we have to teach our brains that there are other emotions available. The more often we experience joy, laughter, movement, curiosity and connection, the more familiar those feelings become. Our brains can learn new emotional pathways.If you've been feeling stuck in sadness, this episode is a gentle reminder that you don't have to wait for happiness to find you. Sometimes you can create the conditions that allow it to return.

    Why You Wake Up Feeling Sad (And How to Break the Cycle)

  9. Jul 17

    I'm Reinventing Myself at 58 (And I'm Taking You With Me)

    Can you really reinvent yourself after 50? Can you change your identity, rewire your brain and become the person you've always wanted to be? This is the beginning of my real-life experiment. After decades of helping other people improve their emotional intelligence and relationships, I realised I'd neglected the most important relationship of all - the one with myself. So I'm starting again. In this episode I share why I've decided to stop waiting until I'm "ready", why I've chosen a new identity, how I'm using neuroplasticity to reshape my thinking, and how I'm creating a visual life book to become the woman I know I can be. This isn't about pretending to be someone else. It's about intentionally becoming more of who you truly are. If you've ever felt lost... If you've spent years looking after everyone else... If you're wondering whether it's too late to change...Come and walk this journey with me. New episodes every week as I document the wins, setbacks, discoveries and lessons along the way. Make sure you subscribe to receive notifications Welcome to The Human Bits.

    I'm Reinventing Myself at 58 (And I'm Taking You With Me)
  • 9 Episodes

About

The Human Bits is a podcast about understanding yourself instead of fixing yourself. Through honest, grounded conversations, we explore emotions, trauma, relationships, nervous system healing, self-worth, and the patterns that shape how we think, feel, and behave. It’s a space to make sense of your inner world, reconnect with who you are beneath the noise, and gently unravel the belief that you need to be someone else to feel okay. Together, we focus on creating a life that feels authentic, peaceful, and truly yours.

Information

  • Creator
    Deborah McPhilemy
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    9
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Deborah McPhilemy
  • Show Website
    The Human Bits