The Inner Odyssey Svelty Mars

Today the goal is to start discussing the “mature “ego defense mechanisms.  There are 8 defined.  I have given you the official definitions of them before, so today I will discuss them in a more relatable, pragmatic way and give my take on them, and when possible, present a more honest alternative.

I am not going to go through all of the list today, however, I will attempt to present the strategies that seemingly complement, along with some deemed the “Neurotic” ego  defense mechanisms.

Once again, please be aware of phrasing.  Some phrases I use interchangeably during this talk. They are: Ego defenses - defense strategies - coping skills – ego defense mechanisms- which all refer to techniques used to dispel cognitive dissonance.

In addition, when I refer to “stressors” – please know that this means internal and external stress producing situations, as well as emotional conflict they elicit.

Today’s Quote:

“ Self-preservation and self-development are common aspirations among all people. And if everyone enjoyed the unrestricted use of his faculties and the free disposition of the fruits of his labor, social progress would be ceaseless, uninterrupted, and unfailing.
But there is also another tendency that is common among people. When they can, they wish to live and prosper at the expense of others. This is no rash accusation. Nor does it come from a gloomy and uncharitable spirit. The annals of history bear witness to the truth of it: the incessant wars, mass migrations, religious persecutions, universal slavery, dishonesty in commerce, and monopolies. This fatal desire has its origin in the very nature of man — in that primitive, universal, and insuppressible instinct that impels him to satisfy his desires with the least possible pain                                                                                                 ~~~ Frédéric Bastiat, The Law
I thought this quote was applicable here despite seeming to be out of left field. It made me wonder if the ego defenses are just another way to justify ourselves as we pursue inherent aspirational goals as articulated above.

Mature mechanisms

I had a great deal of difficulty with this week's episode because the content of my research conflicted with my stated goal of empowering you, the listener, to be the best version of yourself.

Per my research, none of the ego defenses listed are considered “normal”.  There are some which are considered socially acceptable and adaptive, but only one approached being honest.  Maybe that is just my hang-up but I wanted an acknowledgement of normalcy in this sphere.

In my head this was dissonant, because there has to be a “normal”, and an effective and honest way to interact with and cope with the challenges of the world.

It defies my imagination that all humans are less than optimal managers of their mental environment – cognitive and emotional.

Do we just settle for “good enough”?

Is the pursuit of unconditional honesty and self-knowledge just noble aspirations?

Something to consider as you listen to this week’s episode……..

“I did that”, said the memory. “I could not have done that” says my pride, and remains inexorable. Eventually the memory yields.                  ~~~ Nietzsche -  Beyond Good and Evil.

Where do we start?

How do we move forward?

In this brief episode, I would like to relate our focus on Honesty to today’s reality.

Something that was heavily denied for about 3 years was finally acknowledged– the COVID virus originated in a lab.

What is the appropriate response?

Should we be relieved by this admission?

Hmmmm……

“Most men are subjective toward themselves and objective toward all others, frightfully objective sometimes–but the task is precisely to be objective toward oneself and subjective toward all others.”
                                                                                                       ~~~ Soren Kierkegaard (Mastered Irony - 1841)

Hello and welcome to this week’s episode.

In continuing our discussion about honesty, we come to that common practice called self-deception.  I want to introduce this topic here, because it will allow you to better answer a question posed later – “Who are You?”

We all do it (consciously or unconsciously; automatically or with forethought) to some extent, in order to comfort ourselves and cope with the internal and external life stressors we encounter daily.

This comfort however is short-lived and will wreak havoc in our minds and hearts – causing all sorts of mental perturbations – whose foundation is a lack of Quality.

Think of how you feel when someone you know well is insistently lying to you and you know it without the shadow of a doubt?

How to you feel when you are faced with a situation that you feel ill-equipped to handle?

How about when you get something that you know for sure you did not earn?

How about when you put off doing “that thing” for another time, because of a “vvvery gggooood reason?

Stressed, yes, but how do you respond to that stress.  The response is the key.

Depending on the circumstances, you may lash out and be consumed by anger, you may fold into yourself and become depressed or experience something in between these two extremes.

There is no “correct” response. You know how you feel and I want you to respond in whatever way you deem appropriate to as long as it is honest;  bearing in mind however, that there will always be consequences.

So whether you choose an “immature”, a “neurotic” or a “mature” response to those internal and external stressors, know that the ramifications have far reaching consequences, which determine who you are and consequently how your life will be conducted.

As we continue our discussion, I hope you realize that the denial of truth, regardless of how conducted, is psychically offensive and requires unapologetic warfare.

So as the goal is self knowledge,

Listen to the episode to understand and decide what, if anything, needs to change………

“Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving yourself.”—Ludwig Wittgenstein

In this episode, we discuss the connection between self-confidence and food with our very first guest!

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