There were seasons I told myself, “I’m just protecting my peace.” Sometimes that was wisdom… but other times, if I’m honest, I was really protecting my pain—pulling away, going quiet, disappearing, and dressing it up as “boundaries.” In this raw solo episode, I’m inviting you into a heart-to-heart about relationships, not as an expert with everything figured out, but as a woman in process. I share some of the patterns I began to notice in myself—pulling back when things felt too close, over-explaining so no one would misread me, shutting down when my nervous system felt overwhelmed—and how God started gently holding up a mirror when I prayed, “Lord, I need You to work on my relationships.” Drawing from faith, psychology, and neuroscience-influenced work (including thinkers like Freud, Adler, and Dr. Caroline Leaf), we explore how our old stories, nervous systems, and inner scripts shape the way we show up in friendships, church, marriage, community, and even work. In this episode, we explore: • What it can look like to “protect your peace” when you’re actually protecting your pain • Subtle relationship patterns like withdrawing, over-explaining, people-pleasing, and disappearing • How your nervous system and unconscious stories (hello, Freud + Adler) can drive your reactions • The shift from “I’m bad at relationships” to “I’m a person in process” • Gentle, practical shifts—from hiding to honest communication, from shame to truth + grace • A simple prayer: “Lord, I need You to work on my relationships” and what happened when I prayed it This conversation is not about labelling you as “the problem.” It’s an invitation to notice your patterns with kindness, bring them into the light with God, and allow Him to rewrite your inner scripts around connection, safety, and love. 💛 Free Companion Guide To help you sit with your own story, I’ve created a free 2-page mini resource, “Raw Truths About Relationships – Mini Reflection Guide,” with journaling prompts on patterns, inner scripts, your nervous system, and one small step toward healthier connection. You can download it via the link in the show notes / my IG bio. 🧠 Therapy & Support Mention If this episode stirs deep emotions, you don’t have to walk it alone. This season, I’m grateful to highlight Hope Restored Psychotherapy (with my guest Demi Babatunde) as a faith-informed mental health resource for those needing a safe space to process their story. 📲 Stay Connected – Follow me on Instagram for more faith, neuroscience, and wellness content: @innerscriptwellness – Subscribe to the InnerScript Wellness newsletter via the link in my Instagram bio to receive reflections, resources, and episode updates straight to your inbox. Welcome to Season 2 of the InnerScript Wellness Podcast – The Language of Relationships: Tolu & Friends. Let’s lean in, together.
