The Introverted Believer

Kass Fogle

We cut through the small talk to discuss all things introvert, especially around work, relationships and faith.

  1. 06/03/2020

    14. Discipline Alternatives for Your Introverted Child

    Introverted children are not easy to discipline. If they're feelers, they may be adept at emotional sabotage or withdraw for fear of getting hurt. If they're thinkers, they may try to outwit you or silently plot their next move. Kids are clever, lest we forget and soak up knowledge like a sponge. Don’t ever underestimate your kids.   Have you ever gone stir crazy because your kids are completely okay with their behavior? Maybe your kid is an ISTJ and says, "Yeah, I pinched her. She broke the rules and there are consequences. You were in the shower, so I took care of it. I don't understand - is there a problem?" Or maybe their INFP's "Yeah, I pinched her. She was being a little jerk and I had to make sure she didn't touch my treasures ever again!" You could say, "go to your room!" but they'd probably like that. Or you could demand they answer you right this minute, but chances are, they haven't had time to process what just happened. I want you listen to this episode (or read the blog) and consider these 4 alternatives to some legacy discipline that may not be working. Hey, help the rest of the parents out - how have you helped your introverted kids see the consequences of their actions? Drop a comment in the blog or contact me at kass@kassfogle.com   About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she’s not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines. Contact Me Kassfogle.com Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest

    16 min
  2. 05/20/2020

    13 How Professional Marriage Coaching Can Support Your Marriage

    Life Coaching. It feels like such a broad term. I spoke to a few Christian women and there is a lot of hesitation to learning more. They're afraid it's some sort of mysticism or self-help approach just to feel better. As if a little self-care or soul-care somehow vanquishes the importance of the Cross. As if. Today I talk with Joyce Zook, who helps frustrated Christian women get back on track in their marriage. Yep, that's right. Christian Women get frustrated. And perturbed. And desperate. We roll our eyes with the best GIF'S the internet has to offer. But we know where the power and source of our marriage's redemption lies and we go after it hard. Enter Joyce. She helps us frustrated women build a life of love we can truly treasure. She helps women love their lives and their marriages through marriage and life coaching. Today, she talks to us about marriages between introverts and extroverts and what it's like to work through some of those strange (and frustrating) challenges so we don't feel overwhelmed. She shows us how we honor God through our gifts and talents and how to appreciate our differences. Are you an introvert married to an extrovert? Let's see what Joyce has to say about learning to love your best life. You can find Joyce on her website at https://joycezook.com/. Joyce Zook is an award-winning author, international speaker, Board Certified Advanced Christian Life and Marriage Coach. She is a weekly video blogger and the author of 12 Keys for Marriage Success, Priorities for Life, and God and Your Closet. Joyce speaks, teaches, and coaches women to love their lives and their marriages while creating success and balance. In the last twenty years, her ministry has grown with the help of the internet, telephones, and video conferences to reach people across the United States and in foreign countries.

  3. 05/06/2020

    12. Weddings in 2020: How to Cope, Celebrate, and Plan

    Weddings intended for the Spring or Summer of 2020 are on hold…or even cancelled until further notice. With spring high school and collegiate sports ripped from the young men and women who’ve trained their entire lives for that final walk across the filed, court, and stage, and with proms, graduations, and pro sports cancelled, people are feeling cheated and robbed of some of life’s most captured moments. Few of these compare with the cancellation or postponement of a wedding. Many brides start planning their wedding from the first time they see a wedding dress in the JC Penney Catalogue (showing my age). Brides have binders, project management software and websites to organize their BIG day. Few things require the time, energy and money than a wedding. Sometimes brides and grooms feel like they have no choice (job relocation, military status, family member health), but to continue with a ceremony. Small, private ceremonies following all the rules may be allowed - call ahead for your marriage certificate as government office hours are drastically reduced or closed. Brides are also racing to reschedule all their vendors six months or more out. Dresses appropriate for summer weddings will now require a stole or cape for a winter wedding. And some are cancelling altogether until they know this will pass. It is an emotional time, but if you take nothing away from this episode but this, please remember, the marriage is the sacred vow, the reception is for fun. Be confident in what God has brought together and the rest will work out. For information on CDC guidelines for large gatherings visit this website: CDC on Large Gatherings   About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she's not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines.   Join the Facebook Group Follow Kass on: Facebook Twitter Instagram Website Kassfogle@gmail.com

  4. 04/22/2020

    11. How to Make High School Graduation Special for the Class of 2020

    Prom. Graduation. Dual-Credit Transfers. College Applications. Dorm Room Hoarding. Spring-break memories to last a life time. Yearbook signatures. Pulling out of the parking for the final time. Walking down the hall for the final time. Saying, "thank you" for the final time to the teachers and staff who encouraged you. Saying Goodbye Our high school seniors are missing out on so much right now. The final football game, the final basketball game, the final pep rally, finals, the final walk through the hallway…our seniors were robbed of those moments. They didn’t get a chance to say a proper goodbye. They won’t get to experience some of the little finals that help ease the transition to adulthood – instead, it was ripped from them without anything to fill in the emptiness it left or a covering for the wound it created. An Interview with My Daughter Today I talk with my daughter, Ann, a high school senior about her thoughts and feelings about being a senior and missing out on so many "finals." I'm so proud of her and how she is handling this, but know there are a mixture of emotions too. What's a Parent to Do? Parent's, we can never talk to our kids too much. Though mine is as laid back as her father, and I hear her when she says it's all well and good, I still ask, nearly every day how she is doing. More importantly, I listen and observe. I see her making the most of it by redocorating her room, baking and serving others. I hear the joy in her voice when she talks about her day. And while I don't pretend she is 100% okay with the situation, I am in tune and watchful.   I hope you enjoy the interview with Ann - I think she did a great job!  If you agree, would you leave a review? I'd appreciate that so much!   About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she’s not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines. Join the Facebook Group Follow Kass on: Facebook Twitter Instagram Website   Kassfogle@gmail.com

  5. 04/08/2020

    10. Four Ways to Help Young Adults Fly From the Nest

    One thing this dreaded Corona Virus is not delaying is growth of our children. Whether your child is moving out this year or graduating high school, parents still have time to pass along some important life lessons. In this episode, I discuss 4 ways we can promote a healthy flight for kids leaving the safety net of all they know. While I can tell you story after story about each of my children's experiences, only they truly know how those experiences made their grow or left them at risk for future temptations. So let's talk growth. How can we help? Set Expectations While this may seem like a big NO BRAINER, there is one very important question we should ask ourselves to make sure setting expectations leads to growth and not rebellion. Give Feedback They want to be treated like adults, but are not ready for the financial, spiritual, or emotional responsibility that comes along with that. Even if they are mature for their age, they do not have the benefit of time on their sides. Listen to why we should be their, "NO" and the one thing I recommend NOT doing at this tender time in their lives. Memorialize Traditions At this age (around 17-22), they're trying to decide how they fit into the family dynamic as they possibly consider starting their own. EVEN if they are young, they are visualizing their future and thinking of themselves as mothers, fathers, wives and husbands. I share a conversation I had with my son about the traditions he would take with him, which he would stop and which he might start on his own. You might be surprised by what you hear if you ask your young adult the same questions. Model Personal Growth What values is your young adult living by? Be careful about making assumptions here...have they written out the 3-5 values they will take with them that will help them make meaningful decisions? You can contribute to the personal growth of your child so meaningfully if you coach them toward choosing personal values and how to make daily choices and major life decisions based on those. Now, let me ask - do YOU have those 3-5 values that you use? Has your child seen you use those values or heard you discuss those values when choosing a new job, buying a house, choosing how to worship, deciding where to volunteer your time or financial resources? Modeling this behavior out loud and letting them shadow the process of these decisions can go a long way to building their decision-making confidence. That's it! They're ready to leave the nest. Can I ask you a favor? If you enjoyed this episode would you provide a rating and even a review for me? This is a great way to show your support and ratings are the best way for others to find this podcast. AND if you leave a review, I might read it on a future episode of this podcast. If you have any questions about today's episode or have suggestions for a future episode, you can email me at kass@kassfogle.com About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she’s not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines. Join the Facebook Group - We would LOVE to have you join the discussion. Follow Kass on: Facebook Twitter Instagram Website   Kassfogle@gmail.com

  6. 03/25/2020

    #09 A Silent Response

    We Rock Silence As introverts, everyone always tells us how quiet we are. At least when we’re not around our tribe. So many of us, especially on social media, are lurking in the background enjoying your posts and memes, but rarely comment on them. Despite that, I know that sometimes my response, especially to adversity, is not always silent. Oops. Social media takes on a mind of its own and life is pretty exhausting right now. This virus has changed our world more than we ever imagined. I was cleaning out my inbox today and the progression of the virus can be measured by the contents of my inbox. My social media feed is the same. Emotions are Increasing While I’ve seen people come together like never before, I’m also starting to see the stress and anxiety of this situation take its toll on folks. Especially online. I’m starting to see posts that are divisive. “Us vs. them. All or Nothing. You don’t like it – unfriend me.” Like me, you may be considering one of three responses: · What I’m Capable of – locked and loaded, you unholster your spiritual guns and go on the offensive. · What I Could be Doing – Responding with kindness and truth (sound familiar?) · What I Actually Do - Walk away, because energy is best directed elsewhere These are the posts where silence is golden. There is a Time for Speaking and a Time for Silence When people are anxious and put themselves out there, ask yourself if they are being vulnerable or confrontational. Sometimes people are just DONE. They are looking for validation, not counter points, no matter how well the response is structured. Instead of well-intentioned encouragement, the “truth with kindness” is sometimes received as patronizing. They don’t want fixes or alternate perspectives. Offering logical reasoning when danders are up only fuel conflict and make us seem narcissistic. They simply need to ‘get it out’ and all the sound reasoning in the world is not going to get them to change their minds or calm them down. They may simply need validation, so they don’t feel alone in their struggle. After all, how do we want people to respond when our feathers are ruffled? How well do you respond when someone says, “Well you must not have Jesus in your heart if you feel/do/react/say, X, Y, Z? Let me toss some bible verses at you so you feel better about yourself.” I’m betting not. Sometimes, words are not what we need? There are Antidotes! When ears and hearts are shut and anxiety and emotions feed each other, sometimes – and I’m not saying this works in every situation or is the best response in all situations – but sometimes, the kindest and gentlest thing we can do is be quiet and move on. And don’t we kind of rock quiet? There is a time to stand up for what we believe in, a time to guard our convictions, and there is a time to let it go. Use the silence to build up your faith, so that when the time comes, you are spirit filled and spirit inspired to speak things that are edifying to ears that will hear. Instead of trying find crafty ways to respond to some, choose the perfect bible verse, and think of lofty prayers to turn your hearts, and souls and ears and hearts away from those that are closed, consider using the time instead to build up your faith. Jude 1:20 says, “But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.” Resources In case you’re needing some help in the meal planning area, I’ve created a one-week meal plan for you – it includes three meals a day, plus some snacks, a dessert, a shopping list and all the recipes. Check it out here: Kassfogle.com/mealplan If you have some time at home, you might be thinking of deep cleaning the house. It’s time for some spring cleaning and I’ve created a GREAT resource for you! Visit here: Kassfogle.com/springcleaning AND, if you subscribe to kassfogle.com, one of the resources on the free membership page is a 7-day journal on stress relief. I’d love for you to check it out. Don’t Miss an Episode! Subscribe, like the episodes and leave a review so more people can relate to being an introvert! Join the Conversation on our Facebook Group! Want to engage in conversation and dive deeper? Introverts are known for wanting to engage with the intimate few for healthy debates and digging deeply into topics. Join the conversation after each episode or ask a question. Know matter where you fall in the introversion spectrum, you are welcome here. Will you join us? The Introverted Believer Podcast About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she’s not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines. Contact Me Kassfogle.com Facebook Instagram Twitter Pinterest

  7. 03/22/2020

    #08b Protecting the Sanctuary of Your Work and Personal Space

    In this BONUS EPISODE, we discuss how to protect the sanctuary and individuality of your personal and working space when we’re suddenly thrown together during the COVID-19 epidemic. There are a wide range of reactions to the suggestions, mandates, and information being hurled at us at a rapid pace. As Introverts, we really need MORE time and space than what we've been given to understand how this affects us, our families, our neighbors, our jobs, our economy, our children's education, and more. Given this, it will be vitally important for Introverts to use their powers of self-awareness and dig deep for those resources and talents that make them uniquely qualified in this situation. You know where your awesomness lies and where you will need to rely on your loved ones as we come together in tight spaces to keep life moving. You might be the list-maker, and your spouse the visionary, or maybe you are the executor and your spouse is the meditator - there hasn't been a better opportunity for letting your talents surface. My guest, Holly Cain has come up with a solution to help roommates, spouses, parents and children come together and make the most of this crazy situation. RELATED: Find additional tips on coping with Personal Space Invasion by listening to this episode. I think you're going to love this episode. Creating a Family Plan will help you stay organized and focused on what is important. It's full of ideas, tips, and encouragement. Here's a sample of what you will hear: Having a plan limits decision fatigue Having a plan limits isolation- your extrovert people need you too! Having a plan sets boundaries in unknown territory Having a plan gives kids a structure that makes them feel safe in turbulent times Having a plan help relieve additional anxiety in an already chaotic time Having a plan gives you goals to strive for when you might feel purposeless I've created some awesome resources for you during this time. Here are some resources that might help: Deep Cleaning Checklist One Week Meal Plan CDC on Managing Stress and Anxiety Also, in this episode: Tips for keeping creating and maintaining structure How to establish boundaries with your spouse/roommate Accept the challenge! HOW TO FIND HOLLY: Links: https://hollycain.org - women's minstry blog https://caincfo.org - business website https://estherlittlefield.com/the-christian-woman-leadership-podcast/ podcast website Email: cain810@gmail.com Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/hollyalicecain Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/hollyacain/ About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she’s not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines. Join the Facebook Group Follow Kass on: Facebook Twitter Instagram Website Kassfogle@gmail.com

  8. 03/11/2020

    08 Hobbies and Outings

    Whether you're rocking it solo or grabbing a loved one,you're going to LOVE some of these ideas for curing cabin fever!   I am NOT crafty so I promise these are easy, but fun ideas for helping you get through the last of winter blues. Because let's be honest, this is FAKE SPRING! We KNOW another cold spell or frost is on it's way in. Before I was an author, I was the official family event planner, always looking for new and fun things to do with the kids on a shoestring budget. We once started the tradition of FUN HILL - driving up and down a hilly road in a way that made our stomach's drop. Up and down, over and over and over. Then an ice cream cone for a dollar. Fun and traditions do not have to be expensive! Ecclesiastes 10:18 - Because of laziness the building decays, and through idleness of hands the house leaks. NOT MY HOUSE! I want my house (both metaphorically and literally) to be fully of joy. This means I only do those things which bring me joy or brings joy to others. The rest is just mess and I'm too old for that now! And let's not confuse introvert with vampire. Really. One of the reasons I started The Introverted Believer was connect with other introverts of faith so we could be a light to each other. Introvert does NOT mean I cannot seek out and enjoy the company of others. It does NOT mean I don't want to go out into God's beautiful world and enjoy it. At The Introverted Believer, it is my mission to connect Introverts with the beauty God has in store for them away from isolation and loneliness. So I've combed my imagination, experience, and the internet for a few fun ways you can create new memories with these solo hobbies and activities: Geocaching, Reality Cooking, finger knitting (or knitting or crochet), sensory blankets, tie blankets, Canning, Diamond Painting (mix between cross stitch and paint by numbers), quilt and donate, macramé, paint pouring (just as it sounds. Use funnels, pour through a sieve, cheese cloth or over a whisk, etc.) , rock painting, plant an herb, puzzles, model cars, detail your car, instrument, temari balls (remember the quilt Styrofoam Christmas ornaments we made in Sunday school?) writing flash fiction, birding (invest in binoculars), history (grab hold of one topic and dig deeply). I hope you’ve found something to trigger a new hobby this year. Whether you try one of these solo or invite your best friend, let the activity bring you joy and more importantly, let that joy spread to others so you can be a light in their world. About Kass Kass Fogle is an award-winning author, speaker, blogger and podcaster. She has twenty years in Human Resources and holds two degrees and certifications in HR. When she’s not mind-mapping or list making, you can find her suffering at the local coffee-house meeting writing deadlines. Join the Facebook Group Follow Kass on: Facebook Twitter Instagram Website   Kassfogle@gmail.com

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About

We cut through the small talk to discuss all things introvert, especially around work, relationships and faith.