The Kindness Code

Carmel Saulbrey
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The Kindness code is a heart-led podcast hosted by Carmel Saulbrey and Chelsea Bailey. The podcast is focused on supporting and connecting with children through everyday acts of Kindness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episodes

  1. The Kindness Code - Episode 7 - How to make a house a home

    6D AGO

    The Kindness Code - Episode 7 - How to make a house a home

    What makes a house feel like home for a child in care? In this episode, we explore how emotional safety, consistent relationships, and everyday moments of connection create a true sense of belonging. Because a home isn’t just where a child lives - it’s where they feel safe, seen, and accepted, even on the hard days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  2. The Kindness Code - Episode 6 - with Andy Baker

    MAY 13

    The Kindness Code - Episode 6 - with Andy Baker

    You know when you buy a new car, and suddenly you see the same car everywhere? The cars haven’t magically multiplied. Your brain has just started noticing what you’ve told it to look for. This came up in this week’s episode of The Kindness Code Podcast with Andy Baker, author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours that Challenge - and honestly, it really stopped me. Because if a whole staff team keeps saying, “This young person is aggressive”… What are we training everyone to see? Aggression. Every time. And then even the smaller things, the things we might not have noticed before, start getting pulled into that same story. That is powerful. And it’s dangerous. The answer isn’t just “catch them being good.” That sounds lovely, but it’s far too vague. The real work is identifying the positive incompatible behaviour - the thing the young person can’t do at the same time as the behaviour we’re worried about. So if we’re worried about abusive language, the opposite might be respect. But “respect” on it’s own doesn’t mean much unless we define it properly. What does respect actually look like in this home, on this shift, with this child? It might be speaking kindly. Holding a door. Walking away rather than escalating. Helping someone who is struggling. That’s what we need to train our brains to notice. And as always in care, the work starts with the adults first. Able Training | Training made easy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    33 min
  3. The Kindness Code - Episode 5 - with Bethaney Dixon

    MAY 6

    The Kindness Code - Episode 5 - with Bethaney Dixon

    More than a label This week on The Kindness Code, we’re joined by Bethaney Dixon. From lived experience to building a movement… Bethaney shares how her own journey through the care system led her to create Adelphi – turning lived experience into a growing movement that supports care-experienced people through guidance, community, and partnerships across the UK. Together, we explore what it really means to move beyond stigma and labels - and how awareness, education, and empowerment are key to creating lasting change. Because support shouldn’t stop at independence. Adelphi – Adulting, Together™ | Digital Support for Care Leavers & Organisations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    49 min
  4. The Kindness Code - Episode 4 - Managing disclosures: when a child tells you something big

    APR 29

    The Kindness Code - Episode 4 - Managing disclosures: when a child tells you something big

    Managing disclosures: when a child tells you something big It rarely happens when you expect it. It happens in the car. At the sink. Mid-cartoon. In the silence after a hard day — when a child finally decides you're the one they're going to tell. What you say in the next ten seconds matters more than almost anything else you'll do in your shift. In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea talk through how to respond when a child discloses something difficult — in a way that protects them, holds the trust they've just handed you, and keeps you steady when your own stomach drops. We cover: Why disclosures almost never look like disclosuresThe two phrases that should be muscle memory for every adult working with children: "I'm really glad you told me.""I may need to share this to help keep you safe, but I'll support you through it."Why "promising to keep a secret" is the single most damaging response — and what to say insteadHow to manage your own reaction in the moment (because children read your face before they hear your words)What happens after the disclosure — and why your job isn't done when the conversation endsBecause how a child is met in that moment shapes whether they'll ever tell anyone again. Press play. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    24 min
  5. The Kindness Code - Episode 3 - Why transitions are so hard for looked after children

    APR 22

    The Kindness Code - Episode 3 - Why transitions are so hard for looked after children

    A new placement. A new school. A new key worker. A new bedtime. For most children, transitions are uncomfortable. For looked after children, they can feel catastrophic — and the behaviour that follows is almost always misread. In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea go beneath the surface of what's really happening when a young person "kicks off" during change — and why the nervous system doesn't care that the move is "for their own good." We talk about: What transitions actually trigger in a child with a history of lossWhy the smallest changes (a new shift pattern, a different mug, a swapped routine) can land harder than the big onesHow adults unintentionally make transitions worse — even with the best intentionsWhat regulation, safety, and trust look like in practice when everything feels unstableThe difference between managing a transition and holding a child through oneBecause transitions aren't events. They're experiences — and how we show up during them shapes what a child believes about adults for years to come. Press play. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    21 min
  6. The Kindness Code - Episode 2 - Behaviour is communication

    APR 14

    The Kindness Code - Episode 2 - Behaviour is communication

    Children don't behave in challenging ways "just because." Behaviour is communication — their voice when words fail. In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea unpack what it means to treat behaviour as a message rather than a problem to stop. Chelsea shares the story of AJ, a young person whose withdrawal, shouting and breaking of items felt personal to staff — until they noticed the pattern. His behaviour always escalated before family visits. Once the team understood the message, they could prepare him emotionally, offer choices, and create space to decompress afterwards. Incidents decreased. Connection grew. They also talk about validating emotions without giving in, holding boundaries thoughtfully, and the role of rupture and repair in real-life practice. Takeaway: pause and ask — what is this behaviour trying to tell me? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  7. The Kindness Code - Episode 1 - Connection not correction

    APR 8

    The Kindness Code - Episode 1 - Connection not correction

    In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea explore one of the most important ideas in residential childcare: connection not correction. When a child is dysregulated, correction doesn't reach them - because they don't feel safe. And when a child doesn't feel safe, they can't learn or reflect, only protect themselves. Chelsea shares what she's learned over a decade in children's residential care, including a story about a young person who wouldn't come down for dinner — and what changed when staff stopped calling and simply sat alongside her. They also talk honestly about getting it wrong, the importance of rupture and repair, and why children need real adults, not perfect ones. The takeaway: when a child is struggling, pause and ask — what do they need from me right now? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    23 min
  8. The Kindness Code - Pilot

    APR 1

    The Kindness Code - Pilot

    Welcome to the pilot episode of The Kindness Code. Carmel Saulbrey and Chelsea Bailey introduce a new podcast for people working with children and young people in residential care. In this opening conversation, they share why kindness - shown thoughtfully, intentionally and consistently -sits at the heart of meaningful work with care-experienced children. They talk about behaviour as communication, the importance of rupture and repair, and why children need real adults, not perfect ones. Future episodes will explore staff wellbeing, supporting autonomy, creating positive culture in children's homes, and practical strategies you can use the same day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    2 min
  • 8 Episodes

About

The Kindness code is a heart-led podcast hosted by Carmel Saulbrey and Chelsea Bailey. The podcast is focused on supporting and connecting with children through everyday acts of Kindness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Information

  • Creator
    Carmel Saulbrey
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    8
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Carmel Saulbrey
  • Show Website
    The Kindness Code

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