The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish Farnam Street

Few episodes in The Knowledge Project’s nine-year history have impacted people’s relationships and lives more than when Esther Perel shared her infinite wisdom for the first time in 2019.

Shane and Esther discuss how the stories you tell yourself shape how you see the world (and what to do about that), the important conversations to have at the beginning of a relationship, the most common arguments couples have and how to prevent them, what to say to a partner if the relationship isn’t working out, the relationship between desire, love, and pleasure, and so much more. Plus, the conversation starts out on an interesting note: Esther Perel shares stories about her parents surviving the Holocaust and how their experiences shaped her childhood and continue to shape her life today.



(00:00) Intro(02:38) Coming back to life after the war(08:09) The myth of stability(11:30) The power of reflections(19:48) Important conversations for early relationships(24:20) Can values change in relationships?(27:20) Being secure in a relationship(30:40) Better conversations with your partner(33:00) What's behind every criticism(36:52) Too much honesty(39:37) What happens if I don't love my partner(47:12) Why does good sex fade in relationships?(50:59) Love vs. desire(55:38) How to have difficult conversations with your partner(01:05:13) Conscious uncoupling



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Shane Parrish and Maya Shankar dive into the complexities of identity and personal transformation. They explore how significant life changes can reshape one's sense of self and explain how to navigate these transitions. Maya shares her personal stories and tips on making proactive choices and keeping a flexible, layered sense of self. They also discuss the psychological and philosophical aspects of identity, offering practical advice on goal-setting and personal growth.Maya Shankar is a cognitive scientist and the creator, executive producer, and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans. Shankar was a Senior Advisor in the Obama White House, where she founded and served as Chair of the White House Behavioral Science Team. She holds a Ph.D. in Cognitive Psychology from Oxford and a B.A from Yale.

(00:00) Intro

(02:40) Shankar's "almost unbelievable" story of getting into Julliard

(05:30) Why Shankar studied identity

(11:38) What is identity?

(14:52) Using your identity to accomplish your goals

(18:00) Using anti-identities to accomplish your goals

(18:51) What to do when your identity is "attacked"

(26:30) How to re-establish trust in institutions

(32:30) Use identity to start a positive habit

(35:35) How to debunk myths with stories and facts

(37:18) How does how we frame our goals help (or prevent) us from accomplishing them

(43:11) The one motivational technique Shankar uses every day

(45:15) On success



Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠⁠

Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠⁠

My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠⁠

Follow me: ⁠⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠⁠

Join our membership: ⁠⁠https://fs.blog/membership/

It's surprising how often we give our kids orders: "Do this!" "Don't do that!" But if we want to raise resilient and independent kids, is this the right approach? Michaeleen Doucleff argues there's a better way, and in this conversation, she explains why and shares practical strategies for solving the parenting "crisis" in the modern world.

In this conversation, Doucleff reveals four parenting principles that will help foster resilience and independence in your kids while protecting and enhancing their emotional well-being. Shane and Doucleff discuss her observations on how different cultures approach parenting and how their practices can help alleviate the burdens we place on ourselves and our children. We also explore the role of technology and its impact on our parenting and our children's development and maturity.Michaeleen Doucleff is the author of Hunt, Gather, Parent. Her work has taken her all over the world to explore, observe, and learn from the parenting practices of various cultures. She is also a correspondent for NPR's Science Desk.

(00:00) Intro

(04:12) How (and why) we've lost our way as parents

(08:02) The rise of the nuclear family

(13:46) TEAM Parenting: T

(17:20) TEAM Parenting: E

(23:01) Why you don't need to praise your child

(26:12) TEAM Parenting: A

(36:42) TEAM Parenting: M

(38:34) "Kids do not need to be entertained"

(39:12) Technology, parenting, and transmitting values

(1:02:59) Resources parents can use to educate kids about technology

(1:04:50) How you can use the environment to give kids autonomy

(1:09:56) Success and parenting



Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠

Follow me: ⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠

Join our membership: ⁠https://fs.blog/membership/

Succeeding in both life and business is very difficult. The skills needed to scale a company often clash with those required to cultivate a thriving home life. Yet, Brent Beshore seems to have cracked the code—or at least he's actively working on it. In this conversation, he spills his secrets on excelling in both arenas.

This episode is split into two parts: the first 45 minutes covers life and how to be a better person. Brent opens up about the evolution of his marriage, physical health, and inner life.

The rest of the episode focuses on business. Shane and Beshore discuss private equity, how to hire (and when to fire) CEOs, incentives, why debt isn’t a good thing in an unpredictable world, stewardship versus ownership, and why personality tests are so important for a functional organization.After beginning his career as an entrepreneur, Brent Beshore founded Permanent Equity in 2007 and leads the firm as CEO. He works with investors and operators to evaluate new investment opportunities.



Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos

Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/

My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/

Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish

Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/

Sponsors:

Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane

Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge



(00:00) Intro

(05:08) Why Brent examined his life

(09:44) How Brent "fixed" his relationships

(20:04) How helping hurts

(32:13) How Brent was subtly controlling relationships

(40:36) Why Brent stopped drinking (mostly)

(50:29) How to run a business with love yet competitively

(01:00:34) Win-win relationships

(01:05:34) On debt

(01:19:28) On incentives

(01:29:08) How to hire and fire CEOs

(01:34:18) What most people miss about hiring

(01:44:19) Brent's playbook for taking over a company

(01:51:20) On projections

(01:55:52) Revisiting investments

(01:58:44) How "hands-off" is Brent?

(02:08:34) Where people go wrong in private equity

(02:14:07) On success

The skills it takes to get rich are drastically different from the skills it takes to stay rich. Few understand this phenomenon more than Morgan Housel. He's identified unique lessons about wealth, happiness, and money by studying the world's richest families and learning what they did to build their wealth and just how quickly they squandered it all.In this conversation, Shane and Housel discuss various aspects of risk-taking, wealth accumulation, and financial independence. Morgan explains the importance of understanding personal financial goals and the dangers of social comparison, lets everyone in on his personal financial “mistake” that instantly made him sleep better at night, and why the poorest people in the world disproportionately play the lottery—and why it makes sense that they do. They also touch on the influence of upbringing on financial behaviors, the difference between being rich and wealthy, and the critical role of compounding in financial success. Of course, we can’t have a writer as good as Morgan Housel on the podcast and not ask him about his process, so Housel concludes with insights into storytelling, his writing processes, and the importance of leading by example in teaching financial values to children.Morgan Housel is a partner at Collaborative Fund. Previously, he was an analyst at The Motley Fool. He is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers and was selected by the Columbia Journalism Review for the Best Business Writing anthology. He's the author of two books: The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever.Watch the episode on YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos⁠

Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: ⁠https://fs.blog/newsletter/⁠

My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - ⁠https://fs.blog/clear/⁠ 

Follow me: ⁠https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish⁠

Join our membership: ⁠https://fs.blog/membership/⁠



Sponsors

Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. ⁠https://protekt.com/knowledge



(00:00) Intro

(04:46) Risk and income

(07:40) On luck and skill

(10:10) Buffett's secret strategy

(12:28) The one trait you need to build wealth

(16:20) Housel's capital allocation strategy

(16:48) Index funds, explained

(20:59) Expectations and moving goalposts

(22:17) Your house: asset or liability?

(27:39) Money lies we believe

(32:12) How to avoid status games

(35:04) Money rules from parents

(40:15) Rich vs. wealthy

(41:46) Housel's influential role models

(42:48) Why are rich people miserable?

(45:59) How success sows the seeds of average performance

(49:50) On risk

(50:59) Making money, spending money, saving money

(52:50) How the Vanderbilt's squandered their wealth

(1:04:11) How to manage your expectations

(01:06:26) How to talk to kids about money

(01:09:52) The biggest risk to capitalism

(01:13:56) The magic of compounding

(01:16:18) How Morgan reads

(01:22:42) How to tell the best story

(01:24:42) How Morgan writes

(01:35:42) Parting wisdom and thoughts on success

Over the last decade, therapy has become the de facto solution to solve all sorts of problems for all sorts of people. Everyone has slowly accepted that therapy is normal and a net benefit to society.

But instead of helping kids work through difficult circumstances, what if it's just making the problems worse? That's what Abigail Shrier thinks is happening, and in this conversation, she reveals some surprising reasons why.

Shane and Shrier discuss the real reason therapy is "bad," how we got to this point of acceptance as a culture, and what you can do as a parent to get back to normalcy. Shrier also shares her experiences with lifelong therapy patients, who should actually be in therapy, and the one thing that makes someone a successful parent.
Watch the episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/theknowledgeproject/videos
Newsletter - I share timeless insights and ideas you can use at work and home. Join over 600k others every Sunday and subscribe to Brain Food. Try it: https://fs.blog/newsletter/
My Book! Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results is out now - https://fs.blog/clear/ 
Follow me: https://beacons.ai/shaneparrish
Join our membership: https://fs.blog/membership/
Sponsors:
Shopify: Making commerce better for everyone. https://www.shopify.com/shane
Protekt: Simple solutions to support healthy routines. Enter the code "Knowledge" at checkout to receive 30% off your order. https://protekt.com/knowledge
(00:00) Intro
(05:44) Inverse: How do we raise mentally unstable kids?
(08:29) How we got to now
(11:45) Bad therapy...or just social trends?
(13:21) Being your kids' friend: good or bad?
(15:55) The parenting type that raises the BEST kids
(21:35) Is this all the parents' fault?
(29:53) Is "Bad Therapy" a world-wide problem?
(32:57) Talk to your kids' therapist about these things
(42:09) The importance of facing adversity in childhood
(47:06) Can we blame grad schools for all of this?
(49:14) On technology and social media
(51:03) Schools should "never" have gotten involved in mental health
(54:43) Did COVID accelerate "bad therapy?"
(56:07) How to return to normalcy
(58:21) Why Shane shares negative YouTube comments with his kids
(01:01:23) Shrier's experience being "cancelled"
(01:04:13) On prestige media
(01:07:47) Small steps parents can take to return to normal
(01:11:02) Dealing with schools saying one thing and parents saying another
(01:13:32) Why is the silent majority...silent?
(01:16:32) If this continues, what happens?
(01:18:19) What makes someone a successful parent?